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2006’s Dumbest Heart-Warmer?!?

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: 2006’s Dumbest Heart-Warmer?!?
    Posted: April 04 2006 at 10:25am

AN EARLY PICK AS ONE of 14 TITLES for 2006 WE SAID WERE MADE-2-ORDER for the RAZZIES, BENCHWARMERS IS LOUD, LOW-BROW and LOUSY. YET ANOTHER FILM NOT PRE-SCREENED for CRITICS, IT COULD POSSIBLY BE as BAD as LAST YEAR's WORST ACTOR "WINNER," ROB SCHNEIDER in  DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO...

Hey, something's gotta compete with LARRY THE CABLE GUY: HEALTH INSPECTOR to entertain the No-Brainer Crowd...

For Additional Info on this title (Reviews, Box Office Grosses, Official Site, Cast & Credits, etc.) CLICK HERE

 

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote The Graduate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2006 at 4:53am
I am convinced that this trio is punishment for something I did in a past
life...
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Messy-1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Messy-1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2006 at 8:52am
The press screening was cancelled after the good people at Columbia pictures saw a print.

That should say it all.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2006 at 2:53pm
I just realized something. If they remade the film The Ringer, in 20 years, one scene would probably change. There is a scene where Johnny Knoxville is trying to duplicate the mentally challenged by watching movies with mentally challenged characters. ( You see rental boxes of "Forrest Gump" " I Am Sam" "Rain Man" and "The Chevy Chase Collection". At this rate, in the remake the Chevy Chase tape will be changed ( to be more recent) to " The Best of Jon Heder".  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MJ Narcy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2006 at 1:38pm
I just got back from a free screening of this movie.  I guess you get what you pay for.  I'm just glad I didn't pay anything for it.

It did have two good sports villians, Sean Salisbury and Bill Romanowski.

There are two things I find weird about that:
  1. Sean Salisbury and Bill Romanowski are retired athletes.
  2. What are two former NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE players doing in a BASEBALL movie, anyway?  Wacko
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going insane, be right back.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MJ Narcy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2006 at 1:55pm
I just remembered.  Bill Romanowski once broke a teammate's orbital bone in a fight.  Ouch 

If you're calling this a bad movie, you might be putting your life in jeopardy.  Suddenly, I'm scared.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote redlvke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2006 at 7:25am
Bill Romanowski cracked my stepdad's skull in high school
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Vidiot View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vidiot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2006 at 8:28am
ALLEN COVERT & NICK SWARDSON enter the palatial office. The Sony SUIT is behind a spotless glass and aluminum desk speaking into his Bluetooth ear clip. He silently waves them to sit down onto two expensive-looking chocolate-colored Poltrona Frau Ravello chairs.

SUIT
"Ya...run with the Sienna Miller hair extensions story, all
the usual suspects, ciao"

The suit taps the ear clip and turns to Allen and Nick like he just cured cancer.

SUIT
"What can I do for ya boys"

ALLEN
"We got a great idea"

SUIT
"Uh..ha"

NICK
(cuts in)
"...and Rob Schneider and David Spade are already onboard"

ALLEN
(cuts Nick off)
"Get this.. it's about
three really wacky and eccentric underdog mistfits who join together and find salvation on a baseball team..."

NICK
(cuts Allen off)
"...and did I mention Rob Schneider is onboard...he's really hot after Deuce Bigalow 2"

The suit sits staring blankly at the two writers, his eyes devoid of life, soulless, pale and cold, as he mentally calculates the profit potential of such an original idea. The death stare unnerves Nick and Allen. After a brief moment he rubs his chin thoughtfully. Nick and Allen wait anxiously, figiting as the seconds slowly tick by.

SUIT
"Hmmmm...


....bad news bears...

SUIT
"
I like it..."

...major league...


SUIT
"Schneider and Spade huh?..."


...a league of their own...

NICK
(optimistically)
"...and and Jon Lovitz! ...we also got Jon Lovitz...
you're always guaranteed comedic genius with Jon Lovitz"


SUIT
"
Gentlemen...I like it, I'm gonna greenlight it!...here's 35 million."


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Post Options Post Options   Quote MJ Narcy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2006 at 9:22am
I think you have it wrong Vidiot.  I think the conversation went more like this.

Bill Romanowski:  Make this movie, or else.

Suits:  Yes, sir, we will greenlight this movie.  Please don't hurt us.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 11 2006 at 9:26am
I do have to point out, that although the movies reviews haven't been kind (to put it nicely) Jon Lovitz has been praised by every review I've read for his performance...Just saying.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 15 2006 at 8:24am

Jon Lovitz is a great actor/comedian and steals scenes in just about every film he's been in, even bad ones like this.

Anyway, this film seems like a big Razzie contender. I'm in the 7th Grade and kids think this looks really funny. And none of them seem to even acknowledge THANK YOU FOR SMOKING. I'm the only one in my class who knows good comedy. One of my friends listed his 3 favorite movies and they are DODGEBALL, WHITE CHICKS, and ANCHORMAN. How sad.   

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Post Options Post Options   Quote fulglas82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 19 2006 at 6:21am

You want a real definition of a weapon of mass destruction?  Two words:  Rob Schneider. He singlehandedly destroys any situation that should be humorous.  We should send UN inspectors after him. 

On another note connected with this, forbidding the press to watch it beforehand smacks heavily to me of a violation of the First Amendment's guarantee of freedom of the press.  Perhaps if someone got definitive proof that this constitutional right was in fact violated in this and every other instance the studios withhold films, we could  at least force them to change some policies. 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 24 2006 at 6:12pm
RAZZ; This is probably the dumbest, lamest, and sorriest excuse for a movie I have seen this year. Rob Schneider is almost guaranteed another Worst Actor nomination on our 2006 Razzie ballot, and actually has a good chance of winning for a 2nd year in a row. The only saving grace this movie had going is that the script was so predictably bad, you just kept laughing during the whole movie, even after the end credits were finished!!!!!!!!
The "Networking IT" Movie Buff!

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"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Budgieboy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2006 at 9:00pm
People in Australia might know what I'm talking about here: The Chaser Team (an irreverent comedy group) picketed in front of local cinemas to protest the release of this film!
A friend in need is a bloody nuisence
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 24 2006 at 4:36am
As bad movies go, I'm not sure this one is bad enough to be a Razzie contender. I saw it on DVD and, though it actually did SUCK BIG TIME, there's plenty of other rotten movies out there this year worthier of our attention. And, as poorly as it was presented, this film's "anti-bully" message made up for some of its bone-headedness...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote wetbandit82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 10 2006 at 2:01pm

David Spade should have realized long ago he was only good as Chris Farley's foil; with anyone else he's just wasting everyone's time.  As for Rob Schneider, his unwarranted snap at Ebert after the release of the second Deuce Bigalow film is all you need to know about how his devious and crazed mind works; having a root canal is less painful than watching him on screen.  The production company should call itself Sad Madison, because that's what its films have become!  

 

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