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Only a Turd with a Gilded (Nic) Cage...

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Only a Turd with a Gilded (Nic) Cage...
    Posted: July 08 2010 at 8:05am
UNTIL RECENTLY, 1996 BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR WINNER CUBA GOODING Jr LOOKED to REMAIN UNCHALLENGED as the KING of POST-OSCAR-CRAPPY-MOVIE-MAKING. BUT WITH SORCERER'S APPRENTICE, 1995 BEST ACTOR OSCAR WINNER NICOLAS CAGE NOW FINDS HIMSELF in the RUNNING. 

HERE's a QUICK CHALLENGE for ANYONE WHO FEELS COMPELLED to DEFEND CAGE: NAME a SINGLE GOOD (and REALLY SUCCESSFUL) MOVIE CAGE HAS STARRED in in the LAST 5 YEARS... 

...CUE CRICKET SOUND EFFECT.  

AND THIS FRANTIC, FAR-FETCHED ENTERPRISE LOOKS HIGHLY UNLIKELY to END CAGE's LOSING STREAK. CO-STARRING GENERIC NERD-for-HIRE JAY BARUCHEL, and CO-CONCOCTED by a SCREENWRITER with a STRING of RAZZIE® WORTHY DUDS to HIS "CREDIT," APPRENTICE WILL LIKELY BE DISNEY's OTHER MAJOR BOX OFFICE DISAPPOINTMENT of SUMMER 2010 (THE PREVIOUS ONE BEING the UNDERWHELMING/UNDER-PERFORMING $200 MILLION DUD PRINCE of PERSIA: SANDS OF TIME). 

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN to CONJURE UP SOME SCATHING COMMENTARY of YOUR OWN...and MAY the FARTS BE WITH YOU!



CAGE: "Once again, they cut the budget at the last 
minute and couldn't afford shampoo for me..."

MOLINA: "Yeah, your hair does look lousy...Bit it doesn't 
stink half as much as your farts!"  

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 9:37am
Cage looks like he's about to do the Hadouken from "Street Fighter" in that picture. But come on now, Hollywood, how are you going to make a 90 minute live action movie based on a what was like a 10 or 20 minute animated short with no dialounge about Mickey Mouse making brooms come to life to do his house cleaning for him?
 
Also note how it's coming out on July 14, no doubt so it can get the quick fix at the box office and try to steal some thunder from "Inception". Now if this movie makes more money than "Inception", then hell yes, it's Razzie worthy in my eyes.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 10:25am

Here are a few notes on this movie I can give you:

The Mickey Mouse short in Fantasia is actually based on a poem by Johann Wolfgang van Goethe and the animation stays true to the poem.  There is a TV spot for this movie that does contain a scene that portrays the poem, but in order to make a movie, they needed a bigger plot.  The bigger plot involves Nicolas Cage as a sorcerer who's trying to defend modern-day Manhattan from his arch-nemesis played by Alfred Molina.  Cage's magic alone isn't powerful enough to defeat Molina, so he hires Jay Baruchel as his apprentice and teaches him about magic so they can defeat Molina together.  Cage was good in Kick-Ass and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, but this movie only looks as good as National Treasure (not good, but not terrible).  Considering all the other crap that's been released this year, I don't see The Sorcerer's Apprentice competing for Razzies. 
 
And Burn, I assure you that this film will not make more money than Inception.  The anticipation level for Inception is through the roof.  Its competitors won't stand a chance.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 10:54am
But Miguel, "Sorcerer" has two things going for it. #1: The two-days-earlier release date (thus giving it a running start) 

and #2: It's the more "family friendly" movie (i.e. tickets will be sold in groups of three to five, if not more). 

But unlike, MWG, I'm not going to jump the gun and declare a victory for either movie an entire week in advance. As I'm always advising others to do, I'll wait and see what happens.   

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Actually, if movie-goers and crix decide APPRENTICE sux, the two-days-earlier release will prove to be a liability. Case in point: The extended 4th of July weekend grosses for LAST AIRBENDER (B.O. MoJo LINK) which opened the Thursday before the 4th and, other than a Monday "bump" attributable to millions of American having the day off on July 5th, had day-to-day numbers that were all downhill from opening day onward...


The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Julianstark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 12:26pm
This film probably won't at all resemble the Mickey Mouse short, except for the little sequence with the brooms, which I expect to be absolutely horrendous. The film isn't even meant to pay homage to the sequence or anything. It's just a cheap cash cow that was given the name The Sorcerer's Apprentice so it would resonate with audiences, I guess.

I hope this flops at the box office in epic fashion. It looks like a train wreck. Why can't Nic Cage do another Leaving Las Vegas-esque film (or at least one that's somewhere in that ballpark)?
For Your 2010 Razzie Consideration: The Bounty Hunter and Leap Year --
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 1:22pm
I'm so glad HeadRazz didn't mention that Jay Baruchel was also in SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE, because then he'd be a contender, and that would also mean a nomination for HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON...a sin! I've only seen him in KNOCKED UP, and he was funny in that.  

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: You seem to misunderstand how our nominating process works -- If someone like Baruchel is in three movies in a single year, and only two of them stink, we don't automatically include the third title with their nomination. If we did so, then Sandra Bullock would've had to have both BLINDSIDE and THE PROPOSAL listed for Worst Actress in addition to ALL ABOUT STEVE, and Bullock was actually credible in those first two films. So if Baruchel ends up on our ballot, it would be for LEAGUE and/or APPRENTICE, with DRAGON, given its success with both critics and audiences, being exempt... 

Originally posted by Julianstark

Why can't Nic Cage do another Leaving Las Vegas-esque film (or at least one that's somewhere in that ballpark)?
 

I think you mean why can't he act that well again? If that's the case, we should start using ADAPTATION as an example. The movie wasn't excellent,but his performance in it was very good.  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Julianstark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 5:15pm
Well, Vits, I agree that Cage was excellent in Adaptation, but when I said "another Leaving Las Vegas-esque film (or at least one that's somewhere in that ballpark)," I was talking about the film itself (i.e. why can't he star in another really terrific film?). Of course, Cage is only good when the movie is worth watching, so I guess what I said could have been taken that way as well.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 6:04pm
I knew from this past winter that this would become a contender. I believe it was due to Disney Live Action.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 08 2010 at 9:22pm
You do make a good point below, HeadRAZZ. Also, "Inception" has another ace up its sleeve ... it's also going to be in IMAX. For once, ticket surcharges will be a good thing, if they mean that Nic Cage will be humbled once again.  

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Actually, if movie-goers and crix decide APPRENTICE sux, the two-days-earlier release will prove to be a liability. Case in point: The extended 4th of July weekend grosses for LAST AIRBENDER (B.O. MoJo LINK) which opened the Thursday before the 4th and, other than a Monday "bump" attributable to millions of American having the day off on July 5th, had day-to-day numbers that were all downhill from opening day onward...
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Berrynoia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 12:10am
Seeing the way things are going with Nick Cage, it makes me wonder...  Did he ever take off his bear suit?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 11 2010 at 12:23am
You might be onto something about the bear suit. Perhaps the lack of oxygen inside of it is effecting his choices in what movies to star in?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 13 2010 at 6:52am
I'll attempt the counterpoint.  
 
HeadRAZZ, since you said "or". . . . 
 
I was surprised last year that, despite it being a sequel starring Nicolas Cage, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call turned out to be as good as it was.  I was equally surprised that Kick-Ass, as good as it was, did so badly at the box office, although I stopped being surprised when I noticed it was rated R.  Understandable.  You don't want kids putting on costumes taking on criminals in imitation of Kick-Ass.  
 
Even so, BLPoC wasn't that good, and KA didn't have that much Cage, so HeadRAZZ is still right; Cage has not starred in a movie that was good over the last 5 years.  I mean, even if one were to count BLPoC and KA, you'd have to ask: Is that the best you can do?  
 
As far as successful goes, though, you have Ghost Rider, National Treasure and National Treasure: Book of Secrets, all weak popcorn movies with ridiculous scenes.  They were so successful, that there are plans for sequels for both the GR and NT seriesDead
 
So, on the good side, you have BLPoC and KA, and on the successful side, you have GR, NT and NT:BoS with two more sequels in the works.  Again, is this the best Cage can do? 
 
If you ask for both good AND successful over the last 5 years, Cage has zip. 
 
Considering his financial problems that became public last year, I strongly feel Cage is doing these movies for the money.  Yet, he should have enough clout to insist these movies be better than they are.  But does he have that discernment?  I'm guessing no, he doesn't, because he was the one who decided it would be a good idea to remake The Wicker Man.  He gutted it so badly it has to be one of the most hilariously bad movies of the past decade.
 
So, good?  Not really.  Successful? Sometimes, unfortunately yes.  But good and successful?  LOL
 
And I recently saw that Nicolas Cage is next going to star in the remake of The Courtship of Eddie's Father (?!?)  Dead  
 
Note: HeadRAZZ did say "5 years", and I'll admit NT is stretching it coming out at the end of 2004.  I mention it mainly to show how far Cage has fallen.  Also, Ghost Rider is successful only if you factor in DVD sales, DVD rentals and television licenses.  Otherwise, it barely missed breaking even worldwide ($115M budget, $228 worldwide B.O.).
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 13 2010 at 1:13pm
What about the well-reviewed WORLD TRADE CENTER and the popular GRINDHOUSE?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 13 2010 at 5:23pm
I'm pretty sure Cage wasn't in "Grindhouse".
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 13 2010 at 5:29pm
Originally posted by cvcjr13

1. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call
2. Kick-Ass
3. Ghost Rider
4. & 5. National Treasure and National Treasure: Book of Secrets
6. The Wicker Man
1. Was that one even in theaters? I'm pretty sure it went straight to DVD.
2. An entertaining movie, so I'll give him this one.
3. Marvel's answer to the likes of "Batman & Robin", "Catwoman", and "Steel".
4. & 5. Weak copies of Indiana Jones.
6. One of the funniest accidental comedies of all time! Just look at the trailer revamped as a rom-com!
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_mW8mBzmHo
 
Or better yet, Cage's reaction to seeing himself "act" in "The Wicker Man".
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QqgIzlmdBc
 
So, with 1. and 2., I'll give him 1 and 1/2 good movies out the past 5 years. Yeah, not that great a track record. 
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 13 2010 at 5:43pm
Nicolas Cage... Running into financial trouble. What could he sell when the cash hits zero?
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