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A 2 Hour Toy Commercial!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: A 2 Hour Toy Commercial!
    Posted: July 01 2007 at 1:43am

WE REALIZE THAT BOYS LIKE to PLAY WITH THEIR TOYS -- BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. ESSENTIALLY a 140-MINUTE INFOMERCIAL for PRE-SCHOOL KIDS' "ACTION FIGURES," (AND CHEVY AUTOMOBILES... DON'T FOGET, CHEVY AUTOMOBILES... DID I MENTION CHEVY AUTOMOBILES??) TRANSFORMERS MAY HAVE BEEEN one of  SUMMER 2007's BIGGEST BOX OFFICE HITS, BUT GOD HELP THOSE of US WHO LIKE a MODICUM of BRAIN MATTER THROWN in WITH OUR ACTION and ADVENTURE...

Shia: "So, like, remind me again...I'm supposed to relate to you like this kinda crap could actually happen, or are we making a comedy here?!?"

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2007 at 1:50am

My favorite review so far, which I read at RT, calls this film "Merde that meets the eye," and goes on the trash it as too dumb for adults and not smart enough for anyone over 5. Here's a LINK to read the entire review...

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2007 at 1:55am

Jesus, this is what passes for movie-making in 2007?  An endless string of product placements for Chevy trucks and lame Hasbro toys, broken up by explosions every six minutes and dialogue so dim-witted it could have been written by retarded monkeys! If this thing makes a fortune, next thing we know somebody as dumb as Michael Bay could get elected President. 

Oh, wait...that's already happened!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote jb razz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2007 at 2:21am
You may want to look again, HeadRAZZ, because Transformers has an 82% approval rating on rottentomatoes. After years of making film that are way too big, loud, and dumb, Michael Bay might actually prove that he has one more entertaining action movie up his sleeve (like The Rock).
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2007 at 8:52am

The Island wasn't a dumb movie. Well, it was loud and big but it wasn't dumb. It was his best film so far (well, I just watched 2 of his films). And I seriously hope this is a joke. It will be the biggest and most greatest film ever! I'm so HYPER!!!!! I NEED TO WATCH IT NOW!!!!!!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote bruin_522 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2007 at 8:57am

well, i think we all have some favorite movies done by Michael Bay, moviewizguy. I didn't like The Island that much, but I'm alright with the fact that you did enjoy it. If I had to pick a favorite movie from Michael Bay, it would be The Rock by far. I actually thought that Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage were terrific in that movie. Some of his other films, like Armageddon, there were good actions scenes, but looked pretty dull. Pearl Harbor, looked too boring for like 3 hours, but when you get to the action scenes, it will take you off your seat. But with an 82% approval rating from critics from RT, it looks like this movie's going to be Michael Bay's best film so far.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 02 2007 at 1:05am
All you posters who keep citing TRANSFORMERS as having an 82% approval rating at RT need to revisit the site. As of this morning, with a total of only 27 reviews logged, its rating had dropped down to 70%  (LINK). And that's without factoring in the near total slam review that appeared in today's Los Angeles Times (LINK). If this downward trend continues unabated, TRANFORMERS could be in "rotten" territory before its first official public showing tonight...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 02 2007 at 1:13am

This morning's L.A. Times also had an interesting article in their business section about how Paramount and Dreamworks have spent the last two years "positioning" TRANSFORMERS to open well this week, with strategies including bogus "viral videos" and courting the Internet movie nerds (with an amusing mis-step or two!) to help promote it. Here's a link to the story. 

Since its director has been a Razzie nominee three times already, I still think the movie may be diverting but, like almost everything Michael Bay has ever done, it'll also be dumb as sh*t...

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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 02 2007 at 8:28am
Well, as of right now it looks like the reviews are starting to level out at the mid 60's over at RT. I agree that maybe next to Uwe Boll, Mr. Bay is one of our worst repeat offenders in the director's chair (The Island anyone!). However he may have actually made something decent out of this 2 and half hour infomercial that is coming out tomorrow. We may want to rethink the "2nd Worst Movie of the Week" on transformers and just give a full "THUMBS UP THE CRACK" (as our HeadRAZZ might put it) to the next Robin Williams flick, coming out Friday.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 03 2007 at 6:19am
You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that you guys are hating on Michael Bay now. Admittedly, Transformers isn't ranking high as The Rock, but after seeing all the trailers and reading the positive reviews (and there are alot of them), it's certainly a step up from his other disasters (I agree with you guys that Armageddon, Bad Boys II, Pearl Harbor weren't great movies - that was around the time when Bay somehow got hacky). Oh, and FYI, I thought The Island was an underrated and misunderstood gem. Save all your bashing for the next Uwe Boll film (it's either gonna be In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale or Postal). Then I can join you guys in the bashing. 

Of course, I do agree with your other choices for worst movies of 2007: Are We Done Yet (another awful family film), Because I Said So (Mandy Moore is one of the better pop singers-turned-actresses; who else could explain her track record; even though some of her movies were sucky, least she can act, am I right?), Blood and Chocolate (haven't seen it), Code Name: The Cleaner (Cedric, how could you?), Dead Silence (haven't seen it), Delta Farce (where's Larry the Cable Guy's head at?), Epic Movie (Hot Fuzz is a better spoof), Evan Almighty (it wasn't bad, but it wasn't funny!), Evening (this film is in a list of films that I never EVER will see), Georgia Rule (you know it was gonna be bad when Jimmy Robinson's letter to Lindsay Lohan came out), Hannibal Rising (another attempt to add a face to horror), Happily N'Ever After (another Shrek clone), The Hills Have Eyes 2 (another hard-R horror movie that's more stomach-churning than thrilling) The Hitcher (of course, I heard that Dave Holmes respected the horror genre better than the other directors, but what do I know?), I Think I Love My Wife (aside from Head of State, Chris Rock is a lousy director), The Messengers (no PG-13 supernatural thrillers), The Number 23 (I heard Jim Carrey did good, but Joel Schumacher didn't), Perfect Stranger (thank God Bruce Willis moved to Live Free or Die Hard which, I agree with you guys, is a good film) Premonition (we should probably let Sandra Bullock off; I heard she did a good acting job in this film), Primeval (a potential to be a good thriller; then it became Blood Diamond), and The Reaping (all I heard was that it was one huge cliche).

I also got some predictions for the next few titles worthy of Razzie nods:
  • Addicted (SMG is getting suckered into another mediocre potboiler that won't recieve my, or anyone else's, attention.)
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks (As a fan of the classic cartoon, I'm not planning to see it, considering it's directed by the guy who massacred the second Garfield film [Tim Hill].)
  • Alien vs. Predator: AVP2 (R rating aside, I don't know if people will turn up for this sequel, directed by hack music video veterans.)
  • Bratz (Have you seen the trailer? I was ready to bail after hearing Pink and Avril Lavigne's terrible songs. And it's directed by Sean McNamera, no relation to Dylan Walsh's character on Nip/Tuck.)
  • The Brothers Solomon (Will Arnett's going back to his Let's Go to Prison director, dragging in SNL funnypeople Will Forte and Kristin Wiig.)
  • Captivity (AfterDark releases another mediocre horror film that will contain lots of gruesome torture that will make people throw up. Hell, even the reviews piling up are saying it's awful. SPOILER: Elisha Cuthbert and Daniel Gillies have sex while they're captured.)
  • Daddy Day Camp (Who really is looking to see another one of these. The trailer makes it look worthy to be direct-to-DVD. Of course, Cuba Gooding Jr.'s in it, so no dice.)
  • Death Sentence (It's up in the air at this point. But since James Wan did Dead Silence, the director could get another nod for Worst Director. But as I said, it's up in the air. With above-average talent like Kevin Bacon and John Goodman, we'll save our hate till then)
  • El Cantante (Gigli Part Deux, this time with Marc Anthony, and it's a drama.)
  • The Eye (Who's in the mood for another PG-13 horror movie with cheap scares and tedium. Jess Alba should know better.)
  • The Game Plan (Y'know, the poster looks very similar to another crap kids comedy, The Pacifier. This might be up in the air, since The Rock is a solid wrestler-turned-actor, and Andy Fickman's She's The Man had some funny bits.)
  • I Know Who Killed Me (That may be up in the air. Lindsay Lohan is burned into my head after being unfortunate to looking at gossip magazines [Hey, it wasn't by choice]. And moviewizguy says that it's gonna be a mind-bending thriller. Still, I won't be on Lohan's beck-and-call [is that how it's said?] until she does a movie directed/produced by Judd Apatow.)
  • Mama's Boy (Even if the cast is good [Jon Heder, Diane Keaton, Jeff Daniels, Anna Faris, Sarah Chalke], weren't we served the same plot as in Failure to Launch?)
  • The Martian Child (John Cusack's witnessing a rebirth in his career after 1408. Unfortunately, his next film is a cornball family drama that almost had me running when Vanessa Carlton's "Ordinary Day" started playing. Oh, well, there's always War, Inc.)
  • Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (I saw the trailer, and that looks like a stupid rip-off of Charlie and  the Chocolate Factory. One hopes that the acting talent of Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, and Jason Bateman can lift it from a whopping rip-off.)
  • Mr. Woodcock (School for Scoundrels Part Deux, this time Billy Bob takes on Stifler. And word is out that it sucks)
  • No Reservations (A successful businesswoman cares for a kid who lost her mother in a car crash. Raising Helen, anyone? There's even a bad review available, though I ain't givin' it out. From Little Miss Sunshine to this? Why, Abigail, why?)
  • Postal (Uwe Boll's trying to mimic Borat. What a shame. I won't tell you much about the plot, but what I do know is that several well-known actors - including Dave Foley, Seymour Cassell, and Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer - have been suckered into this mess. And I heard they're gonna lampoon those who lost their lives, family, and friends during 9/11. I think I've explained enough there.)
  • Saw IV (This continuing franchise serves as a reminder that there are better horror movies out there. We don't need gore for the sake of gore, and overacting for the sake of overacting. Oh, and James Wan is directing.)
  • This Christmas (Preston A. Whitmore III is back with his follow-up to Crossover. 'Nuff said.)
  • Underdog (Jason Lee soils his career with another crappy family comedy based on a classic cartoon. Is Patrick Warburton having a niche for starring in these films? Heavens...)
  • Who's Your Caddy (Big Boi, Jeffrey Jones, and a cast of funny comedians are reduced to starring in a crap urban version of Caddyshack that is directed by Don Michael Paul, the man who single-handedly killed Steven Seagal's movie career.)
  • Why Did I Get Married? (Another Tyler Perry film. I wonder if they'll be having women getting beaten up, central casting drug dealers, and lame UPN-style comedy bits. This ain't a good formula for a feel-good movie for the African-American race, but if it is, then no wonder our movie culture is so bland. And we're getting slammed for what we really think about it.)
By the way, Lindsay Lohan's slated to play Paris Hilton in an upcoming biopic with music from Britney Spears. I predict that's gonna be a bash-worthy film.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 03 2007 at 6:38am
....most of the movies up there doesn't deserve to be on the list...like AVP2. If you haven't noticed it would be more like the originals (yes, it would be rated R!!!), you wouldn't be putting it up there. I Know Who Killed Me looks like a great mind-tringling thriller.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 03 2007 at 7:57am

I forget where I read it, but I have to agree with one of my esteemed colleagues in our beloved Forum about you, moviewizguy. Is there a movie you don't like ! I really think you are posting in the wrong forum sometimes... 

Now even through RoadDogVXIIIIIIIIIIII (Oops, got carried away) was just a tad long winded was actually pretty close to the mark on his laundry list. But just to clarify my thoughts on Mr. Bay. I also thought The Rock and Armageddon were both good summer popcorn flicks as well. Bad Boys 2 was just waayyyy too commercial and boring (I'm glad someone thought the Island was a undiscovered gem, because in the continental United States, movie goers are still looking for the Gem that you found!).

As for the Transformers it looks like it is holding at a steady 61% at RT (70% Cream of the Crop), I really don't see this movie getting berried next year at our annual salute to the berry worst.


Response from Head RAZZberry: FYI -- I just checked our Rotten Tomatoes' LINK and TRANSFORMERS has now, by a slim margin of 1%, slipped into what may be permanent listing as being officially "ROTTEN." I plan to see it later this week, but must admit I am amazed that something as clunky looking as this could get even 35% approval from major film critics, let alone top 50%. If we had a specific category for Most Obnoxiously/Aggressively Marketed Movie, this would "win" it, hands down... 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Movie Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 04 2007 at 5:08am
Originally posted by RoadDogXVIII


  • Alien vs. Predator: AVP2 (R rating aside, I don't know if people will turn up for this sequel, directed by hack music video veterans.


Apparently, the title for the sequel is now "Aliens vs. Predator".
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 04 2007 at 9:22am

Just saw it:

High-school student Sam Witwicky buys his first car, who is actually the Autobot Bumblebee. Bumblebee defends Sam and his girlfriend Mikaela Banes from the Decepticon Barricade, before the other Autobots arrive on Earth. They are searching for the Allspark, and the war on Earth heats up as the Decepticons attack a United States military base in Qatar. Sam and Mikaela are taken by the top-secret agency Sector 7 to help stop the Decepticons, but when they learn the agency also intends to destroy the Autobots, they formulate their own plan to save the world.

I was quite surprised that many people were at the earliest showing today, July 4th. Hoping to watch the movie with a couple of people with teenagers and crying babies away, I was quite disappointed but it didn't ruin my movie experience.

The film was decent. This is coming from a guy who knoews nothing about Transformers. The oh-so-incredible action sequences weren't that good and the plot, well, you know, was paper thin. Sure the CGI was flawless but you expect more. I found the camera work better than Bay's past films and the score great (except Linkin' Park).

This is all you know when you see this film: Good robots vs. bad robots trying to find this mystical cube. If you want to watch this film for its plot and story, you'll be disappointed. Do you even think this film needs a good plot? No. It's a fun filled action film.

I thought the film excluding the last forty minutes was decent. I expected more from Bay but as the last forty minutes rolled in, it gets thrilling. The acion is non-stop. I liked the humor throughout the film which makes it entertaining. Shia LaBeouf plays a chirosmatic character and Megan Fox a sexy, but smart, girl. Others like Josh Duhamel and Jon Voight was good.

Do not watch this movie expecting a great story. Watch it to be entertained with the action sequences and humor. Michael Bay isn't a grande storyteller yet but he is a professional popcorn movie director. 7/10

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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 04 2007 at 10:37am

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD.

The Trashformers
Less than meets the eye
The Trashformers
Makes you wonder why
Just another way of
Taking junk
And using it
To make a buck
For the corporate boss.

First there was the ORIGINAL CARTOON SERIES introducing new characters all the time.  Then they came out with all these different series with slight variations to get kids to buy more and more.  And let's try to forget the horrid animated Transformers movie where some executive nimrod at Hasbro thought it was good business to kill off all the cool Transformers and introduce several really lame ones.

Apparently, he wasn't the only nimrod at Hasbro.

There has always been an unanswerable problem with the story of the Transformers.  Why would such all-powerful sentient alien robots bother to transform into Earth machines?  Until this question is satisfactorily answered, there will always be a problem with the Transformers storyline, no matter if it's a comic book, a television series or, as in this case, a movie.

So, Transformers comes back to the theatres for a second try, and, like my parody implies, it's trash.  Aside from never answering the big question, what happened this time?

Spielberg and Bay got it all backwards.  They concentrated on the humans and not on the Transformers.  It's a movie about the TRANSFORMERS, for crying out loud.  There's only two humans who should have mattered in the storyline; Sam Witwicky (he ain't "Spike" no more) and Mikaela Banes.  The rest of the story should have been about the Transformers!

There were glaring problems.  For example, in the cartoon series, Optimus Prime and Megatron were an even match.  In this movie, Megatron mopped the city with Optimus Prime. 

I could go on with the ridiculous overacting (only really liked Shia LaBeouf), five Autobots hiding in one backyard tacked onto a whole goofy "look for the glasses" scene, the whole idea of Sector Seven, the whole idea of the "All Spark", the barest character development to the Transformers or the lousy dialog.  Why could Bumblebee pound the daylights out of Barricade but couldn't break free of a few cables?  Why would Megatron's navigation system imprint the location of the "All Spark" on a pair of glasses 70 years ago?  What happened to the few machines that were converted into murderous robots towards the end?  Why did our heroes let the final battle happen in a populated city?   

And they killed off Jazz!

Aside from LaBeouf's acting, the scene I liked the most was the firefight with Scorponok.  The special effects were amazing.  Some of the added touches were good, like when Megatron, recovering from a fall, flicked away a human and said, "Disgusting!" 

Other than that, this movie doesn't even better its animated predecessor, and certainly doesn't stand well when contrasted with the original series, and never gives a good answer to the big question.

Rotten Tomatoes currently stands at "Rotten" with 59%, a steep drop from the original 82%.  It appears, like MWG suggested awhile ago, that 5,000 votes giving this movie a "10" have artificially inflated the IMDb voter rating for this movie to 8.4.  This will come down as well.

Razzie noms for worst movie, worst director (Michael Bay), worst screenplay (Robert Orci and Alex Kuntzman).

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 04 2007 at 2:12pm
You hated it THAT much?
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