A Giant Hit...& Still a Piece o’ sh*t??

Originally posted by dEd Grimley If you blow enough money, (or.... nvm, I'll avoid that Michael Bay joke) you can make anything look good. Michael Bay is talented in the sense that he knows what people like to see. It's kind of like calling the people who work in the Hostess factories good cooks because they make Twinkies.

Exactly. He knows fans like pretty thing and stuff blowing up, and cars chasing each other, and so that's ALL he ever films. I mean, if Spielberg filmed nothing but movies about aliens befriending humans because "ET" was such a success, would he still be the greatest commerical filmmaker?

What are the odds of Revenge of the Fallen sweeping the awards like I Know Who Killed Me in 2007 or Battlefield Earth in 2000?

I registered so I could weigh in on this movie in particular.  I have a part-time, just-for-the-money job in the electronics department at the local Wal-Mart.  When Trannies, Too opened I avoided it at all costs, and didn't see a frame of the actual movie (except TV and theatre trailers) until it was on DVD and I could borrow my brother's copy to watch at home.  I mean, I wasn't actually going to pay for it was I?  But oh boy, did I pay for it.  I got through an hour before I took it back to my brothers and banished it forever from my home.  I was getting physically ill from the fact that the camera wouldn't stop moving.  I have a feeling no one can explain the plot to me without a long-winded rant filled with pointless fan-boy details.  The "movie" wouldn't slow down to explain who the characters were, why we should care for or hate them, and what exactly it was they were doing.

Now, you say, I didn't watch all of it so I have no right to comment on it, right?  Wrong.  I survived two weeks of this piece of parasitic excrement playing on the HDTV wall at Wal-Mart.  Most of my shifts I was working mere feet from the cacophonous sh*tstorm of Trannies, Too.  For up to eight hours a day.  I am now familiar with every frame, sound effect and line of dialogue of Trannies, Too.  It's a fan-boy's wet dream: a hugely successful FX cinematic massacre that only fan-boys "get" because it would take a Dungeons and Dragons-sized book to explain it, and God knows fan-boys have that kind of time on their hands.

Trannies, Too benefited from the "big movie" audience that still exists and has made the deeply-flawed Avatar the biggest grossing movie of all time (yes, I know about inflation and Gone With The Wind, but facts are facts.)  This audience, which consists of the usual pimple-faces, fat bearded no-lifes, desperately lonely middle-aged women well past their physical prime, and twenty-something single guys with no girlfriends, is easily fooled by the smokescreens Hollywood and it's media subsidiaries puts up to dupe them into believing crap=quality, and 2+2=5.  These are two of their mantras:

1. Trannies, Too is a misunderstood masterpiece panned by critics resentful of Michael Bay's success.
2. Trannies, Too's box office success is because it is what the movie-going public wants to see.

There's a bit of truth to the second statement, and the first is a revision of a popular idea that a movie must be good because critics hate it.  But to understand the depressing reality of North American consumerism, you have to work in a place like a Wal-Mart electronics department for an extended period of time, at least a year so you get the feel of all the different seasons of movie releases.  DVD and Blu-Ray releases are a clockwork industry; you never go too long without some over-hyped piece of sh*t being given a huge marketing campaign for it's release.  Customers of course don't remember when you had to wait in the reservation queue at the local VHS rental store to see a new release at all.  With Trannies, Too, on it's first day of release on DVD and Blu-Ray, a lot of customers sounded like their life depended on getting a copy.  Then I wondered why someone would kill themselves over a "movie" that isn't even a movie.  So now it comes to why I think Trannies, Too may be the end of fan-boys in general.

With Trannies, Too, fan-boys are backed into a corner.  They can't defend the quality of the movie, so all they have left is it's financial success.  I mean, I'm not a Harry Potter fan, but I will concede that the series deserves the critical acclaim it's getting (especially the most recent movie.)  I would concede that Trannies, Too deserved better if I actually thought it was a good movie, even if I wasn't a fan of the Transformers.  That's just the kind of objective, big-hearted guy I am.

Could it be that in the future movies will have to be good, with sharp, intelligent writing and competent direction to be considered a success, even if the movie makes the most money of all time?  Trannies, Too, proved that the big-movie audience will still obediently line up like army ants for anything that resembles the kind of cultural event that accompanied Star Wars or Harry Potter.  When they can gobble it up like heroin on a legal format or download it illegally, they will do so, usually without thinking, and I have lots of anecdotal testimony to that fact.  No one I talked to on the first week of it's DVD release even mentioned that they thought it was a good movie.  They needed it because, well, everyone else was getting it, the TV told them they should get it, and they wanted a big blow-em-up CGI FX Blu-Ray to justify to themselves the thousands of dollars they spent on their HDTV and home theatre (a lot of customers said that very thing almost to the letter!)

I still don't know what the plot to Trannies, Too was, and I respect my brain too much to try to wrap it around some poorly-written Wiki nonsense.  If you've made it this far, thanks!

I just saw the trailer for "Transformers: War For Cybertron". Holy f***ing s***! It makes "Bayformers" look even worse  by comparison! THIS is what the movies should have been!

Originally posted by PopcornAvenger   EDIT: I stand corrected. Twilight:NM didn't receive even one nomination! Amazing . . . it shows it was a berry berry good (or bad) year for Razzie-worthy dreck . . . .

Originally posted by kennyshafard It was lengthy, pointless, full-of-special-effects movie like thing.

Yes it was. Yes it was.

Originally posted by PopcornAvenger Huh. It's not mentioned at all in the press release; I need to find the definitive list

*cough*troll*cough*hater*if you don't like our choices why bother posting here*cough*.