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A LEGION Cause of Laughter in Theatres?!? |
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HeadRAZZBerry
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Joined: April 23 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 4548 |
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Topic: A LEGION Cause of Laughter in Theatres?!?Posted: January 20 2010 at 11:00am |
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HORROR MOVIES ARE SECOND ONLY to ROM-COMs as the GENRE with the MOST DISAPPOINTING TITLES in the LAST FEW YEARS. AND SONY/COLUMBIA's LEGION ISN'T LIKELY to ALLEVIATE the PROBLEM.
ANOTHER GOD-IS-ABOUT-to-END-the-WORLD APOCALYPTIC-PILE-o-CRAP, LEGION FEATURES a SMILING GRANNY in ITs TV SPOTS WHO SWEETLY SEZ: "It'll all be over soon!" THEN the SATANIC GRANNY CRAWLS ACROSS a DINER CIELING LIKE an ANGRY CACA-ROACH. DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT EVERY TIME WE SAW THAT IMAGE, WE JUST ABOUT BUSTED a GUT LAUGHING!
AND WE'RE FAIRLY CERTAIN LAUGHTER ISN'T WHAT THIS FILM's MAKERS WERE AFTER. THOUGH with the SORRY STATE of SUPPOSEDLY SCARY MOVIES THESE DAZE, SCREAMS of LAUGHTER MAY BE ALL THEY CAN HOPE FOR...
![]() This is one horror movie that's...dare we say it? JAW-DROPPINGLY AWFUL! |
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Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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GTAHater767
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: October 25 2009 Location: I shall not say Online Status: Offline Posts: 1135 |
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Posted: January 20 2010 at 1:51pm |
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First One Missed Call, then The Unborn, then Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, now this. Legion sounds like another horror movie that would give its viewers brain lesions. This is why I hate movie theatres in Januaries. At least those in the northern half of the US have no reason to trudge through all those blizzards... |
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RAZZIE Dirty Dozen: Battlefield Earth, F G Fingered, Pluto Nash, A Sound of Thunder, Alone in the Dark, Dirty Love, Rise Silver Srfr, Daddy Day Camp, IKWKM, The Love Guru, All About Steve, Airbender
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Michaels
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: May 12 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2848 |
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Posted: January 20 2010 at 5:55pm |
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Hey, the way I see it, the more crappy movies that come out this month, the more money "Avatar" will make!
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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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sampsoninc916
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Joined: January 18 2010 Location: Kennesaw, GA Online Status: Offline Posts: 8 |
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Posted: January 20 2010 at 6:38pm |
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Seems that studios usually dump their crap on cinemas in January and February. By the way, I'm not going to see this movie because of the sole fact that in it a modern woman is pregnant with the Messiah, which is outright blasphemy (and ridiculous!) in my terms. One Messiah was enough, and I'm not afraid to confess my faith in him. It was God's will that He died on that cross, and placed all the sins of the world, including future sins, on Himself so that we would be forgiven.
But a movie featuring a woman with child carrying the Messiah? COME ON!!! Don't torture my religion of Christianity.
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Do you think I was young enough to grow up watching Smurfs, Thundercats, and reruns of shows like A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard, and Alvin and the Chipmunks?
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Michaels
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Posted: January 20 2010 at 7:31pm |
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Sorry, Sam, but H-Wood is going to "torture" your religion whether you want them to or not, because they actually think it suckers Christians into seeing their "faith-based" movies. So prove them wrong -- and don't go to see this!
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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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MiguelAntilsu
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: August 30 2008 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1467 |
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Posted: January 20 2010 at 9:04pm |
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And they call those shapeshifting monsters "angels"? They should be called something else. The only real angels in this film are the ones protecting the pregnant woman. The story is complicated, the premise is weird and the concept is unfamiliar: God loses faith in humanity...he sends shapeshifting beasts to slaughter the humans...one woman is said to be carrying the Second Coming of Jesus. There's a prophecy that precedes all that, but why does God lose faith in humanity? Does he lose faith because humans are polluting the environment? Does he lose faith because humans are committing too many sins and crimes? Does he lose faith because humans keep voting Twilight over everything else? Someone has to explain what caused this holocaust, or else audiences won't have any idea why all this is happening!
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: I think I'd have to go with the "humans keep voting TWILIGHT over everything else" theory. But come RAZZIE® Nominations day (February 1) all those fans of hunky, empty-headed vampires and werewolves may be in for a suprise...or maybe several!
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moviewizguy
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Joined: January 23 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2136 |
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Posted: January 21 2010 at 3:38pm |
Last year was the year of vampires. I heard this year would be the year of angels. I'm not lying. I'm going to try to find out if this is true. |
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Michaels
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Posted: January 21 2010 at 3:49pm |
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Let's see, this is the second movie within a two week time frame to have religious figures or themes, "The Book of Eli" being the other. It seems H-Wood is trying to cash in on the biggest of franchises with a very devoted, built-in fan base: organized religion.
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saturnwatcher
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Joined: July 14 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2577 |
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Posted: January 21 2010 at 8:29pm |
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...Realizing, of course, that the phrase "organized religion" is an oxymoron.
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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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CriticalFrank
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Joined: February 24 2009 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1314 |
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Posted: January 22 2010 at 10:13pm |
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Honestly, I didn't get anything about her carrying "The Messiah" all I got was that the plot was carrying a Mess-a crap. I suppose part of the problem might have been the idiots in the theater who were apparently trying to converse with the characters on screen, and had to loudly repeat any line they found even remotely humorous....
There are just some people who should NEVER EVER go to the theater, because the bastards just make it completely impossible to lose yourself in a crappy movie...
Even though I got no impression of a Messiah involved, I would recomend avoiding this movie, unless your significant other is promising you some major payback after... Even then, It better be some damn good payback...
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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang
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Michaels
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Posted: January 23 2010 at 5:42am |
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From what I have read, this movie has plot holes so big that you can hide "Transformers 2"'s plot holes in them. |
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Morbius
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Joined: January 31 2010 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1 |
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Posted: January 31 2010 at 9:38am |
I understand what you're saying, but the Bible says Jesus will be coming back, and there will be a second coming. I enjoy movies on a cinematic level - if this were a quality movie, I would want to see it. There are lots of things that happen in movies that I don't agree with, or don't believe in (such as murder), but I don't let this affect how much I enjoy the movie, or what I believe in. If I barricade myself from what happens in the real world, without seeing it for what it is, then I remain ignorant and farther from God. |
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PopcornAvenger
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Joined: December 04 2006 Online Status: Offline Posts: 83 |
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Posted: March 08 2010 at 6:05am |
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Yeah, they really marketed the hell out of this one.
Yet another pregnant woman -whether pregant with the next savior or anti-savior - and a huge celestral battle over her and the fate of her child.
Yawn.
As for God losing faith in humanity, I found the line in Romero's Day of the Dead far more chilling: that God started up the zombie apocolypse because He wanted to show Man "what Hate looked like". As scary as that might be, I find the concept flawed. If and when a diety decides to wipe the slate of sentient life on his world clean, I doubt he/she/it would use so inefficient a method as zombies, "angels", whatever.
Frankly, the only horror movie with a religious premise that scared me - and continues to scare me to this day - was the Exorcist.
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BurnHollywoodBurn
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Joined: February 03 2010 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3557 |
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Posted: March 08 2010 at 6:41pm |
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You want a good religion based movie? See Kevin Smith's "Dogma". Or, even better, Bill Maher's "Religulous". Now that's a faith centered movie to sink your teeth into.
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The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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PopcornAvenger
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Posted: March 08 2010 at 8:22pm |
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Yeah, but they're not horror movies. Although some might pay to see a pregnant Maher.
. . . .I wouldn't. Some things truly are too horrible to contemplate. I still have nightmares when Awnold did it.
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saturnwatcher
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Posted: March 08 2010 at 8:28pm |
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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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