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Amercia’s FUNNIEST Working Actor...NOT!!!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Amercia’s FUNNIEST Working Actor...NOT!!!
    Posted: August 11 2005 at 6:42am

I've alwaze thought Rob Schneider, squirrely Sidekick to Adam Sandler (and an even worse actor in his own right!) was kinda like The Horny CHIHUAHUA That Won't Quit Humping Your Leg.

With the release of DEUCE BIGELOW: AMERICAN GIGOLO, I may have to revise that...to The Horny FRENCH POODLE That Won't Quit Humping Your Leg !!!


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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 12 2005 at 7:01am

Interesting article in the L.A. TIMES today (Friday, August 12) about why Disney, which produced and released the first GIGOLO picture, PASSED on making this even more tasteless, R-rated sequel. Wait 'till you read bout the TRULY BIZARRE deal between Disney and Sony about profits on this film AND a possible THIRD DEUCE debacle!

http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-et-deuce12aug12,0,5365 671.story?coll=cl-home-top-blurb-right

Only in Holly-WEIRD!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 15 2005 at 9:22am
Went to Box Office Mojo just now, and saw that this incredibly stupid-sounding film got a "D" from B-O-Mojo visitors, as well as debuting at #5 on the box office charts. Can you say: DOUCHE BIGELOW, box office dud???
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 16 2005 at 2:12pm

I just read Roger Ebert's review of EURO GIGOLO, and laughed so hard I thought I'd have to wear a truss for the rest of my life! Roger's review is here at:

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20 050811/REVIEWS/50725001/1023

2013's WORST PIC-After Earth ACTOR-Jaden Smith & Johnny Depp ACTRESS-Lindsay Lohan! SUP ACTRESS--Kim Kardashian! SUP ACTOR-Chris Brown DIRECTOR--Good "Night"! SCREAMPLAY--The Lone Ranger.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 17 2005 at 12:58am
I just used the LINK above to check out Ebert's review, and it's one of the most amusingly NASTY things I've ever read. But The Most Amusing Thing in it is that Ebert mentions that  Rob Scheider is a RAZZIE Loser -- To Jar Jar Binks yet! BERRY FUNNY STUFF!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 18 2005 at 2:39am

WHOAH! Roger rilly ripped Ol' Rob a new one -- FUNNIEST review I've read in ages, though...

And CONGRATS on finally getting a RAZZIE mention in a Roger Ebert review...You gize are getting DANGEROUSLY MAINSTREAM!!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 19 2005 at 3:26am
What's the term for a really ANGRY e-mail? A FLAMER? From that review, I'd say Roger Ebert has sent A FLAMER to Rob Schneider!!  BURN, BABY, BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 22 2005 at 3:17am

One of the ways you can TELL something is bombing is by looking at both First Sunday and Second Weekend DROP-OFFS in box office. With the Internet and Cell Phones speeding up word-of-mouth on movies these days, BAD word is usually already out by the first Sunday, and DEFINATELY out by any film's second weekend. For EURO GIGOLO, the FIRST Sunday was down 22% from Opening Night, and the ENTIRE second weekend was down OVER 60% from Opening Weekend. That makes this Sorry Sequel the Under-Performing EQUAL of Just About ANY Bad Movie of '05! 

(SOURCE: BOX OFFICE MOJO = http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=daily&id=deuce bigalow2.htm )

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 24 2005 at 5:51am
WHY was a second DEUCE BIGALOW movie even made?? It's not like anyone with enough brain power to get themselves to a cineplex was even asking for one!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 25 2005 at 3:27pm
Maybe they made it JUST so we'd have an EVEN HARDER TIME picking just FIVE nominees in our Worst Remake or Sequel category this year...Think about it: It's only August, and we've already got something like 23 Possible Contenders for this one Award!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2005 at 1:50am

By Sunday of it's THIRD weekend, DEUCE TOO was down to just $269 per screen  with a to-date gross totaling barely 31% of the "original" DECUE COUP, which somehow pulled in over $65 million... CAN YOU SAY "DEAD BUT NOT FORGOTTEN**???"

** By Voting RAZZIE® Members, anywaze! 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2005 at 2:12am

Wait a minute -- If you're suggesting nominating Rob Schneider in this as Worst Actor, may I point out that the words "Rob Schneider" and "Actor" should never EVER appear in such close proximity to one another!!

To do so could set off a chain of events eventually leading to some The Apocalypse  !!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Guest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2005 at 11:01am

I'm sorry, but this topic just reminds me of that episode of South Park when they keep showing trailers for upcoming Rob Schneider movies, and each one gets stupider and stupider! (Just like in real life!)

"Rob Schneider is THE STAPLER, Rated PG-13!"

"Rob Schneider is THE CARROT, Rated PG-13!"

"Rob Schneider is DERF-A-DERF-A-DERFY-DERF-DERF, Rated PG-13!"

Anyone else see that episode? Funny as hell!  (That last one pretty much sums up just how much plot and thought goes into an actual Rob Schneider movie, doesn't it?)

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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 01 2005 at 5:51am
Or worst yet, Rob Schneider in DEUCE BIGALOW: GIGOLO WHO WON'T GO AWAY!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 08 2005 at 2:06am
Speaking of GIGOLOs that won't go away: I just saw a photo on MSN.COM that showed Rob Schneider at the Moscow "premiere" of EURO GIGOLO, wearing a pair of Red Lace Panties OUTSIDE his clothes. Let's just say Rob wearing red panties DOESN'T have the same effect as Paris Hilton wearing them in HOUSE OF WHACKS -- And when she wore 'em, she ended up being impaled!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BooBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 09 2005 at 5:33pm

I was just about to post and say that it won't be long, maybe in a month or two till this abomination hits DVD, and lo and behold, I heard it has a DVD release date of November 29, 2005. Damn, that was quick! Not FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY/SURVIVING CHRISTMAS quick, but quick nontheless!

Now I'll probably be spending my next two and a half months living in fear of that day.

Just look at these words and tell me that they're not chilling:

DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO On DVD November 29.

-BooBerry

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