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Brothers, Where Art Thy Talent??

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Brothers, Where Art Thy Talent??
    Posted: March 02 2009 at 3:31am

ESSENTIALLY MALE CLONES of MILEY CYRUS (IN TRIPLICATE, YET!) THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE the LATEST INCARNATION of DISNEY's CYNICAL / CYCLICAL CORPORATE PLOY of MANUFACTURING TWEEN IDOLS, ONLY to MILK the LIVING HELL OUT of THEM for AS LONG AS THEY'RE APPEALING in a PUPPY-LIKE WAY.

BUT DO the BROTHERS REALIZE IT'S ONLY a MATTER of TIME BEFORE DISNEY DUMPS THEM on the ASH-HEAP of AMERICAN CULTURE...PROBABLY BEFORE THEY'RE EVEN OLD ENOUGH to LEGALLY DRINK??

ADDING to the CYNICISM of JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE WAS the FILM's 76-MINUTE RUNNING TIME, SUGGESTING IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE AS a 90-MINUTE CABLE SPECIAL (COMPLETE with 14 MINUTES for COMMERCIALS) THAT WAS RELEASED THEATRICALLY to MAKE a FAST BUCK.

BUT the BUX DIDN'T COME in SO FAST AFTER ALL: DESPITE PREDICTIONS THAT IT WOULD TOP the $31 MILLION THAT GREETED LAST YEAR's HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS CONCERT MOVIE, J.B. 3-D MADE LESS THAN 40% of THAT ITS FIRST 3 DAZE, and BASICALLY GOT ITS OPENING WEEKEND CLOCK CLEANED by the 2nd WEEKEND of the DECIDEDLY MEDIOCRE MADEA GOES to JAIL.

FACTOR IN THAT the 3 BROs ARE ALMOST AS TALENTED AS the CLUB-FOOTED CAST of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3, and YOU'VE GOT PERFECT FODDER for a RAZZIE® NOM...OR TWO!


BRO #1: "Is that a crowd of screaming fans chasing us...?"

BRO #2: "Or angry film critics...?"

BRO #3: "Or worse -- angry tweens' parents screaming for their money back?!?!?!"

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 8:57am
The problem Disney is running into is the fact that parents are getting tired of paying 15 bucks a head to send their spoiled spawn to see this type of schlock. I can almost guarantee, if they had made this a regular movie (as opposed to a 3D crime against god) parents would have been more then willing to send their brood to see it.

As it stands, I think parents might be getting wise, and telling the rotten children that they will have to pay for their own tickets -- thus limiting the potential for people to see it.

Although, there is also the possibility that this movie doesn't have the built in "Dirty Old Man" audience that Miley Cyrus has.....
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 9:56am

Frank hit the nail on the head. Parents are finally putting their feet down and refusing to sit through this crap because their 'tween kids eat this stuff up like Disney wants them to.

That, and I do agree that much of Miley Cyrus' success is from pedophiles.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 10:37am
One would have thought the Cougar population would have turned out for this... but perhaps the Cougars have a little more self-respect than the Dirty Old Men....
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 10:46am
This movie is for the kids/teens. Really, if you think it's a bad thing...anyway, I'm sure you liked things as a kid that probably, as adults, you would think why.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 11:04am

There is a huge difference between "making a movie for kids and teens", and "making a movie for the express purpose of raping the wallets of the parents of Kids and teens."

I have no issue with kids' movies. I do have issues when those kids' movies are put out in "3D," for the express purpose of being able to charge parents 15 bucks a head. When you consider that for some of these kids, a parent would have to be there as well, that is a minimum of 2 tickets, which brings the price up to 30 bucks. Plus concessions, which for two people can easily cost another 15 bucks. So for a parent of just one child, you are looking at almost 50 bucks for just a 76 minute movie.... Toss in two or more children (or like one of my co-workers, 5 children!) and the cost goes through the roof. That alone makes this unacceptable, especially in a time of economic hardship...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 11:23am

I told a lot of kids at school about this tanking, and they all had the same response: "Good, I f*ckin' hate them!" I'm not joking, they all said that. Almost every single kid in the school can't stand them. They're not too hot on Miley Cyrus or the "High School Musical" brats either.

I started looking at the students' t-shirts and what musicians they liked. Here's the groups (or people) I saw them wearing: The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Led Zeppelin, Nirvava, The Who, Johnny Cash, John Lennon, The Doors, Van Morrison, Run D.M.C., The Grateful Dead, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Tupac Shakur, Guns 'N' Roses, Nine Inch Nails, and Lynard Skynard. Those 21 mentioned all have something in common: all of them, including the dead ones, have more talent in there left pinkies (or right, in Hendrix's case) than the Jonas B*tches have in there whole bodies.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 12:23pm
I think a lot of people might be wearing t-shirts of the aforementioned bands, not really out of genuine love for the bands/musicians, but rather out of a love of a sort of "retro" fad. Those bands (with few exceptions) have been fairly inactive/dead for a while now and, as such, seem to have a sort of retro-vibe that pulls kids in. For example, I had a classmate back in high school, who had all kinds of Doors paraphernalia, but when asked to name one song, couldn't do it. He couldn't remember a single lyric, and when I mentioned "Jim Morrison" he looked at me as if I was speaking Greek. Obviously this classmate was unfamiliar with The Doors, other than the fact that they had some interesting shirts and stuff available.

This is not to say that there aren't true fans out there. But to automatically equate clothing choices with band preferences might be a little misleading.

I bet the guy with the Black Sabbath shirt is secretly listening to Jessica Simpson on their iPod.   :-P
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 2:49pm
There is one example of a kid who wore a band t-shirt but had no idea about them. This kid was wearing a "Dark Side Of The Moon" t-shirt and I said: "You're a regular Roger Waters." And he just stared. I started naming off other Pink Floyd people, David Gilmore, Syd Barret, Nick Mason, Rick Wright. To screw with him, I threw Bill Wyeman in there and he thought it was a Pink Floyd member. Then, I asked him to name one song from "Dark Side". He couldn't think of any. I asked the kid next to me and he shouted "Money" and "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" almost instantly. Other than the kid up there, everyone seems to be really devoted to music. Kids drop in lyrics from songs and the others know it. Even I do that; I quote the final verse of "Not To Touch The Earth".
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 3:39pm

Right on! As I said before, the Jonas Bros. are nothing more than Hanson 2.0 (for those of you who've forgotten -- and I don't blame you -- they were another brother act with no talent, but tween girls thought they were "hot").

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

I did a little looking around at the student's t-shirts and what musicians they liked. Here's the groups or people I saw: The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Led Zeppelin, Nirvava, The Who, Johnny Cash, John Lennon, The Doors, Van Morrison, Run D.M.C., The Grateful Dead, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Tupac Shakur, Guns 'N' Roses, Nine Inch Nails, and Lynard Skynard. Those 21 mentioned all have something in common: all of them, including the dead ones, have more talent in there left pinkies (or right, in Hendrix's case) than the Jonas B*tches have in there whole bodies.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 02 2009 at 4:15pm
I swear to God, MiguelAntilisu is going to cum in his underwear when he sees a forum dedicated to the Jonas Bros. Maybe HeadRazz is opening his eyes to the new Disney.

DISNEY? How can any of the stuff that's going on now even be related to the great Walt Disney? If you watch the Disney Channel and their shilled sh*t, it's aimed at spoiled, narcissistic girls who think normal-looking guys are the plague, and that Zac Efron and the JoBros are worth f**kin'. (I hope that last statement gets a laugh)  

And how the hell can the Jonas Bros. be compared to the Beatles? I'm not a fan of the band, but Paul McCartney and the gang are legends, so I'll give them that much. My mom doesn't know who the JoBros are, and once I dropped the bombshell, she scoffed.

And the fact that critics came down hard on this film, as well as its being beaten by Tyler Perry's latest, really says something. Suddenly, Perry's not looking so bad in comparison. That doesn't mean I'll go rush out to see his films, however.

I hope y'all watched Chelsea Lately on E! network. They made lotsa jokes at the expent of the JoBros.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2009 at 12:49am

Comparing the Beatles to the Jonas Brothers... Isn't that a mortal sin? I think that's something that people can go to Hell for... I'm pretty sure I read that in the Bible somewhere...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2009 at 4:42am

Well, I heard from a reliable source that they caught this little tidbit in a J-Bros interview with Barbara Walters (I assume this was the Grammy interview). And I heard that Walters wasn't taking it, at all, seriously. They debunked this, but as Patrick Stewart said in X-Men: The Last Stand, "there will be no going back".

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Comparing the Beatles to the Jonas Brothers... Isn't that a mortal sin? I think that's something that people can go to Hell for... I'm pretty sure I read that in the Bible somewhere...



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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2009 at 9:37am
Wait, Barbara Walters is the one perpetuating the Blasphemy? What the hell Barb? Has the View stewed your brain?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2009 at 10:53am

*Quickly hides his Miley Cyrus tickets* *cough* *ahem*

I suppose that someone should note that Disney isn't alone in its guilt of exploiting children for the purpose of hauling in cash. How about that ETRADE talking baby? The poor kid's fortune will likely be squandered by greedy relatives before he is even out of diapers.

And for the record, I really wouldn't watch Hannah Montana if she were playing a concert across the street. I might use binoculars though

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2009 at 11:00am
You know, I imagine if you looked, there are probably websites out there devoted to countdowns until Miley Cyrus turns 18... I know various other young female stars (even if they are manufactured garbage) have had such things pop up...

Honestly, I doubt that the Jonas Brothers are getting the same treatment... I very much think that given a few years this little group will fade into obscurity, and take their place among the likes of Hanson.
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