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DINO DOO-DOO??

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: DINO DOO-DOO??
    Posted: March 03 2008 at 2:57am

"I DON'T LIKE MAMMOTHS and SNAKES, and THAT AIN'T WHAT IT TAKES..."

POSSIBLY 2008's SILLIEST WORST REMAKE or RIP-OFF CONTENDER, 10,000 B.C. RIPS OFF ITS BASIC RIFF from the 1940 CAROLE LANDIS and 1966 RAQUEL WELCH VERSIONS of ONE MILLION B.C. -- DRESS YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS in TOO-SMALL ANIMAL SKINS, HAVE 'EM CHASED by BEHEMOTH BEASTIES...and THROW in a LITTLE NEANDERTHAL NOOKIE for GOOD MEASURE. IT DOES, HOWEVER, GO THOSE PREVIOUS VERSIONS ONE BETTER (or "WORSER"??) by ALSO RIPPING OFF BATTLE SCENES from AH-NULD's RAZZIE® NOMINATED CONAN MOVIES.  THROW ALL THESE ELEMENTS in YOUR PRE-HISTORIC POT, and YOU'VE GOT the MAKINGS of a POTENTIAL STONE-AGE LAUGH RIOT.

NOW, USE THOSE PRE-HENSILE TOOLS YOU'VE CARVED for YOURSELF and GET BIZZY BASHING BIG BAD CAVEMAN and HIS SUPER-SIZED CGI PALS... 

RUNNING DUDE: "Get this precinct captain off my ass -- There's NO WAY I'll vote Republican in 2008 A.D. !!!!"

 

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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saturnwatcher View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 5:59am

My understanding is that this was supposed to be a holiday release in 2007, but was pushed back to March 2008 for one of the usual lame reasons provided when one of the major studios decides to bury a projected blockbuster that turns into a stinker. I'll probably see it just because the mammoths look cool in the previews, but the guess is that this one will be as extinct as saber-tooted tigers before the Easter Bunny makes his rounds.

ADDENDUM: Three quick points--first, this one wasn't previewed for critcs. As we all know, that is a major red flag.

Second, Omar Shariff is actually making an appearance in this film. Evidently, he can't make it on social security checks these days.

Finally, this film is brought to you by the same people who turned Art Bell and Whit Strieber's book The Day After Tomorrow into a movie. For those not familiar with those two gentlemen, Art Bell used to be the host of the popular overnight Coast to Coast radio show that allowed the credulous a forum to discuss Martians and Bigfoot and other urban legend nonsense. Whitley Strieber was making a modest living selling fictional tales about werewolves until he found he could make a barrel of money selling books about his alleged personal experiences as an alien abductee. On the whole, his werewolf books were more credible.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 7:39am
I think it might be good.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 7:59am

Mea Culpa: I am reminded that Bell and Strieber's book was entitled The Coming Global Superstorm. The movie The Day After Tomorrow was inspired by the book. Personally, I don't draw much distinction between the fictional movie and the supposedly non-fiction book. Neither of the authors has any particular scientific training, let alone specific expertise in climatology, atmospheric sciences or planetary sciences.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 11:38am
Overall, I think this is going to be a big budget disaster for Roland. As previously mentioned since almost all of Roland's movies have been aimed at Summer/Holiday blockbuster status and to have it moved to March means that something stinks in New Zealand (as opposed to Denmark, this movie was made in New Zealand), Plus to date (with the exception of Ice Age) all the beginning before time movies have done poorly in the box office. I really do not see this being any different.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 2:37pm
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to this because of it's pre-historic style. I'm usually biased towards these films.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 03 2008 at 2:43pm
Well, here's one person hoping for a B.C. that had NOTHING to do with
Johnny Hart!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ramsde Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 05 2008 at 7:28am
I hope this will do good, but then again the leading man (Steven Strait) was in "The Covenant" (one of the most terrible movies ever) and the leading girl (Camille Bell, I believe her name is) was in the remake of "When A Stranger Calls" (dreadful remake). I hope that this movie won't be like "Pathfinder" just with good special effects, but I can't shake the feeling. Well I will find out soon enough on this weekend just how good or bad this movie is and then I will give my verdict.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 05 2008 at 12:14pm

I actually liked When a Stranger Calls and The Covenant. People are being too harsh on The Covenant when it tries to be fun and cheesy, in a good way.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 06 2008 at 7:18am

...we know Moviewizguy -- just like John Wilson was being too harsh on Mommie Dearest for it's "Dramatic Unappeal" and "Unintentionally funny dialogue and over the top acting" by our favorite wire-hanger-wielding star, Faye Dunaway!!

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 07 2008 at 3:15pm

*thrashes ITbeast with a coat hanger*

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. NO WIRE HANGERS ON THIS SITE -- EVER!!!!!!!!!  

 

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 07 2008 at 4:45pm

....I'm sorry Mommie, It will never happen again

...at least for now!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 08 2008 at 6:11am
Well, I think we have found our Razzie front runner for 2008...This movie is getting totally raked over the coals over at RT , with an approval rating right now of...a whooping 08%!!!.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote phe_de Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 09 2008 at 2:08am
Well, this looks bad.

I usually enjoy Emmerich movies, but 10.000 B.C. was not great. I'm not sure if it was as bad as "Battlefield Earth", but it's not far off.

This is Razzie material, I guess. 8% at Rottentomatoes, and a disappointing Box Office so far... However, the year is still young, and I'd guess there will be more movies to come out that will make 10.000 B.C. look like "The Matrix."


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Post Options Post Options   Quote bruin_522 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 16 2008 at 9:52am

Here's the following films Roland Emmerich has done: Joey (1985), Hollywood-Monster (1987), Moon 44 (1990), Universal Soldier (1992), Stargate (1994), Independence Day (1996)-Oscar Winner for Best Visual Effects, also RAZZIE nominated for Worst Written Film Grossing Over $100 Million, Godzilla (1998)-RAZZIE 'Winner' for Worst Supporting Actress and Worst Remake or Sequel*-Emmercih received Worst Director RAZZIE nod, and Worst Screenplay RAZZIE nod, not to mention that it was also a Worst Picture contender, The Patriot (2000), The Day After Tomorrow (2004), and now this 10,000 B.C. (2008). Plus, he has two more films in pre-production: 2012 (2009) and Fantastic Voyage (2010).

*Tied with The Avengers (1998) and Psycho (1998) for that award.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 17 2008 at 11:36am

A few random thoughts on the above list:

Stargate: The with possible exception of The Matrix, it could be the most overrated sci-fi movie ever made.

Independence Day: For a million years, mankind looked to the stars and wondered...then the aliens finally came; intent on raping the planet and wasting our resources. We don't have enough damned Republicans, so we had to import more.

Godzilla: Proof positive that the only good Godziller movies come from Japan

The Patriot: Mel Gibson and a couple ten year-old boys kick England's ass. Give him the Vienna Boys choir and he'll take over the planet. Bad movie.

Fantastic Voyage: Isaac Asimov hated the original. So did most of the rest of us. As a well established axiom I have previously noted, a remake of a bad film will probably be worse. Let's keep this one in our sites.

 

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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