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Doggie Discomfort Bagz, Anyone?!?!?

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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
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Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
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    Posted: September 16 2011 at 6:07pm
Why was this movie needed?
 
The good:
 
It's not as bad as it could have been: As bad as this was, it wasn't the horror-show that I was expecting. I never once considered running into heavy traffic like I thought I would. Of course, I watched this after Sex And The City 2 and Fartbender looks, almost, good compared to that!
 
It wasn't the worst George Lopez movie from last year: Pretty much self-explanetary. At least this was up-front about being derivative, unlike Valentine's Day* and The Spy Next Door**.
 
The bad:
 
George Lopez: Lopez sucks as the family cat. He's very annoying, but he's not quite the worst hispanic comedian out there *cough* Carlos Mencia
 
Lee Pace: Pace plays Marmaduke owner, Adolf Hitler***. Pace is bland and annoying and seems unnecessary now that Marmaduke talks.
 
Why was Emma Stone in this?: How much money did they dump in front of her house? This came out between Zombieland and Easy A, so let's just call this a bump in the road.
 
The ugly:
 
Owen Wilson: Did Marmaduke really need a voice?
 
Fergie: Fergie needed to take time off from making ear-rapingly bad music, so she did something almost as torturous. She plays a bitch that Marmaduke wants to get with, but they both realize that Emma Stone's a better-fit. No arguments there!
 
The potential future if this was a hit: Imagine it: Family Circus: The Movie! Annoying children running with ghosts saying not me! Or Funky Winterbean: The Movie! Here's some potential dialogue: "I have cancer." "I have cancer cancer." "My nephew was found alive even though they reported him dead.**** Fortunately, this flopped, sparing us Mallard Fillmore: The Movie!
 
Well's that the show. Grade: D+
 
Next-up: Zoom!
 
*Rip-off of Love, Actually
**Rip-off of True Lies
***Seriously, the owner in the comic has a Hitler-mustache.
****To explain, there was a story where Funky's nephew Wally was found alive in Iraq, even though he was reported dead. This means that they didn't do a DNA test and that writer Tom Batiuk knows about as much about the military as Loose Change director Dylan Avery knows about telling the truth.
Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken
https://twitter.com/SchumacherH8r
Next-up: The Oogieloves
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Vits View Drop Down
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Joined: February 01 2010
Location: Chile
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 21 2012 at 11:35am


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