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Doggie Discomfort Bagz, Anyone?!?!?

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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
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Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
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    Posted: September 16 2011 at 6:07pm
Why was this movie needed?
 
The good:
 
It's not as bad as it could have been: As bad as this was, it wasn't the horror-show that I was expecting. I never once considered running into heavy traffic like I thought I would. Of course, I watched this after Sex And The City 2 and Fartbender looks, almost, good compared to that!
 
It wasn't the worst George Lopez movie from last year: Pretty much self-explanetary. At least this was up-front about being derivative, unlike Valentine's Day* and The Spy Next Door**.
 
The bad:
 
George Lopez: Lopez sucks as the family cat. He's very annoying, but he's not quite the worst hispanic comedian out there *cough* Carlos Mencia
 
Lee Pace: Pace plays Marmaduke owner, Adolf Hitler***. Pace is bland and annoying and seems unnecessary now that Marmaduke talks.
 
Why was Emma Stone in this?: How much money did they dump in front of her house? This came out between Zombieland and Easy A, so let's just call this a bump in the road.
 
The ugly:
 
Owen Wilson: Did Marmaduke really need a voice?
 
Fergie: Fergie needed to take time off from making ear-rapingly bad music, so she did something almost as torturous. She plays a bitch that Marmaduke wants to get with, but they both realize that Emma Stone's a better-fit. No arguments there!
 
The potential future if this was a hit: Imagine it: Family Circus: The Movie! Annoying children running with ghosts saying not me! Or Funky Winterbean: The Movie! Here's some potential dialogue: "I have cancer." "I have cancer cancer." "My nephew was found alive even though they reported him dead.**** Fortunately, this flopped, sparing us Mallard Fillmore: The Movie!
 
Well's that the show. Grade: D+
 
Next-up: Zoom!
 
*Rip-off of Love, Actually
**Rip-off of True Lies
***Seriously, the owner in the comic has a Hitler-mustache.
****To explain, there was a story where Funky's nephew Wally was found alive in Iraq, even though he was reported dead. This means that they didn't do a DNA test and that writer Tom Batiuk knows about as much about the military as Loose Change director Dylan Avery knows about telling the truth.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
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Vits View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 21 2012 at 11:35am


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