Official RAZZIE® Forum Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > General MOVIE & DVD Discussions > Movies in General...
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed: Forum member reviews
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Calendar   Register Register  Login Login

Forum member reviews

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <12345 46>
Author
Message Reverse Sort Order / View First Unread Post
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Forum member reviews
    Posted: October 31 2014 at 7:06pm
Time for my final review of Horror Movie Month 4 and it's a real tinker! It's the first truly awful film in its franchise. This unfortunate film is...
                                     
Halloween 5. Other than Danielle Harris and Ellie Cornell, everything else about this film is bad. This is going to be a 9 Worst Things Review.

9.) Not following up on the last film's end: Halloween 4 ended with Jamie Lloyd (Harris) killing her mother and it's shot like Michael killing his sister in the first film. It looks like either evil runs in the family or Michael's spirit has possessed her. But no, all this leads to is Jamie being in a mental hospital surrounded by crappy actors and Michael Myers is still the main villain. Both Donald Pleasence and Danielle Harris wanted to go with my idea, but they were shot down.

8.) Wendy Foxworth: Foxworth plays Tina, a friend of Jamie and Rachel (Cornell). She gives a bad performance. The fact that she gets three times the screen-time that Cornell gets is baffling.

7.) The script: This was the first really lazy script the series had. The scenes that crib from the previous films are bad, but the new stuff they add is even worse. The top three worst things about the film are the new stuff they add. I'm not saying they should just regurgitate what's been done, but the new stuff is deadly bad.

6.) Donald Pleasence: Pleasence is in full paycheck mood for this film. He chews the scenery with no regard. Granted, it's not his worst film or performance (The Curse Of Michael Myers, Warrior Of The Lost World, The Pumaman, etc.) but it's still a crappy effort.

5.) The hermit: In a writer cop out that rivals Freddy Krueger's return in A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 in terms of sheer stupidity, Michael Myers fell into a coma after being dynamited at the end of the last film. He's taken care of by a hermit, who tends to him for a year. When Michael comes to, he snaps the hermit's neck and goes on his merry way. What the f*ck?

4.) Dominique Othenin-Girard: Dominique Othenin-Girard (henceforth called DOG for the rest of the review) is the director of this piece of crap. He shows no skill behind the camera. In addition, he also directed The Omen IV, which is actually worse than this!

3.) The psychic link: It turns out that Jamie now has a psychic connection to Michael Myers. Now, this wouldn't have bothered me if they went with the "Michael's spirit is living through Jamie" plotline they seemed to be setting up in the last one. But since they didn't, there's no reason for this to exist.

2.) Michael Myers cries: Towards the end, Jamie tries to appeal to Michael Myers' good side. After this, a single tear runs down Michael's cheek. And with that, Michael Myers as a good villain dies! What where they thinking when they came up with this?!? Not only is it dumb, it's kind of comical too. Well, not "kind of."

1.) The man in black: This film introduces the man in black. You can tell he's a villain because he kicks a dog in one scene. The only thing of substance he does is bust Michael out of jail, something he could have done on his own. The real reason he's here is so he can appear in the sequel. It's just like Spider-Slayer and Black Cat showing up in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. If you're setting up a character only to appear in a future installment, at least do something interesting with them like Hawkeye's appearance in Thor.

If it wasn't for Harris and Cornell, this would have gotten an F. Grade: D-
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 29 2014 at 6:18pm
My next review is of a movie that's more disappointing than bad. It's not a truly bad movie (and it's WAY better than it's sequel), but it has enough flaws to justify a review. My next review is of...
                                        
Alien V.S. Predator.

After Alexa and the last Predator team up, the film gets good. Well, I'm not sure if good is the right word. More like entertaining. Especially good is the ending fight with the Alien Queen. The best performance in the film comes from Lance Henriksen. He plays Charles Bishop Weyland. And now you know why Bishop from Aliens is called Bishop. He gives a great performance and he has a cool death scene.

Most of the characters that aren't Weyland are annoying. It's not the actors' fault, it's the writer's fault. Speaking of the script, it's incredibly dumb. It was written by Paul Worthless Sh*t Anderson, a man with almost no talent. That being said, this is actually his best movie after Event Horizon. His writing and directing still suck, but I'd rather re-watch this than 99% of his other movies. Another issue with the film is the PG-13 rating. It neuters the film, especially since all of the previous (and future) Alien and Predator films were R-rated. This would be in the ugly paragraph, but the next Alien V.S. Predator showed that gore doesn't make the film any better.

The only thing about the film that actually gets me angry is the misuse of Predators. There's three Predators in the film and two of them get killed before they kill any Aliens. One of them even gets killed without actually fighting an Alien. The other one does get to fight an Alien, but he still dies like a pussy.

In hindsight, my D- grade for Aliens V.S. Predator: Requiem was too lenient. Grade: C+
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 29 2014 at 8:36am
D.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
Vits View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: February 01 2010
Location: Chile
Online Status: Online
Posts: 8054
Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 29 2014 at 5:59am
Cry
Oh, well. What grade did you give it?

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

The Unborn the movie I was going to review tonight but found too boring.
You can follow me @Vits_Chile
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 28 2014 at 6:39pm
Time for my review of one of the worst movies ever. It's a hilariously bad movie though, as opposed to The Unborn the movie I was going to review tonight but found too boring. It's known more for its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000 than anything else. This film is...
                       
Werewolf or, as MST3K fans call it, Wur-Wilf. This is going to be a 9 "Best" Things review where I detail the 9 most hilariously bad scenes in the film.

9.) The Joe Estevez Vanishes: Joe Estevez, brother of Martin Sheen, plays one of the diggers who uncovers the wur-wilf skeleton. It seems like he's going to be a big part of the film, but he disappears after the first wur-wilf is stopped. Apparently, it's because the film had a troubled production and had to stop filming at several points due to running out of funds. After one of these filming stops, Estevez must have remembered that his backside was in Apocalypse Now and realized that the film was too good for him.

8.) All of the gas stations in Flagstaff, Arizona are the same: During a chase scene involving the wur-wilf and a security guard, they pass two of the same types of gas stations. The film is taking on monopolies during this scene. Either that, or the filmmakers are lazy assholes who blatantly re-used the same shot twice.

7.) The wur-wilf costume: The wur-wilf costume in this film is hilariously bad. Actually, that should be costumes, since the costumes changes whenever the film goes from close-up to wide-shot and vice-versa. This'd be higher, except they look better than the werewolves in Cursed!

6.) Wur-wilfs sleep nose to anus: It's specifically mentioned that the type of wur-wilves in this film sleep nose to anus. What could I say that's funnier than that!

5.) The magical always full-moon of Flagstaff, Arizona: The film takes place over the span of a few days. Despite this, the moon is never not full. This is baffling since the film tries to paint the wur-wilves as yee naldlooshi, a Native American legend that didn't require a full-moon. There's no logical reason for the moon to always be full then.

4.) Yuri's amazing changing hairstyle: One of the most memorably bad things about the film is the main villain Yuri's constantly changing hair. This is a result of the film's start-and-stop shooting style. Somehow, the filmmakers didn't notice his hairstyle always changing. I'd go hard on his actor, Jorge Rivero, too but since the filmmakers never actually paid him, I understand why he wouldn't care about the film.

3.) Adrianna Miles' accent: Adrianna Miles plays Natalie. Despite Miles being Polish and having a poor grasp of the English language, Natalie is supposed to be American. Her accent gives us many hilarious quotes like: "Dis is ubsolutely fesscinating," "You and Noel is in it for fame and fortune?" and "Wur-wilf." Disturbingly, her accent is similar to Tommy Wiseau's.

2.) Sam the Inkeeper: Sam shows at several random points for literally no reason. He says random non-sequiturs throughout the whole movie. One of the them is the now internet-famous "I just found out that Count Dracula is a f*ggot!" They weren't discussing vampires at all before this scene and they don't get mentioned after this either. He's basically the Torgo of the film.

1.) The random wur-wilf fighting pedestrian: While in wur-wilf form, Paul encounters a random pedestrian and gets into a fight with him. However, the pedestrian is apparently Rambo since he kicks the crap out of the wur-wilf. And he almost wins too. It's hard to put it into words how hilarious it is. I'd link to it, but I can find a couple of the individual scene on YouTube.

Other hilarious things in the film I didn't mention: the revelation that Natalie became a wur-wilf through sex, the black guy that exists only to be a black guy, the wur-wilf skull having ears, and the scene where they play pool. Quality grade: F Entertainment grade: B+
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 28 2014 at 8:03am
To JacobD: Muniz is the Arpaio fan.

To Vits: I've only seen Muniz in this and Malcolm In The Middle. He was good in Malcolm early on, but he got more annoying as the show was ending.

To oiram: It's been awhile since I heard the story, but I recall he was yelling at his girlfriend and it was in public. Considering this story, it's easy to believe.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
oiram View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: June 28 2010
Location: America
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3248
Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 28 2014 at 5:44am
What exactly did Frankie do that made him come off like a jerk?
Worst Supporting: Eddie Redmayne and Julianne Moore.

Worst PRROS: Fantastic Four.

Worst "Everything Else": Fifty Shades of Grey.
Back to Top
Vits View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: February 01 2010
Location: Chile
Online Status: Online
Posts: 8054
Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 28 2014 at 4:58am
So you don't think he's a good actor in general? In how many things have you seen him?
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

my brother met Frankie Muniz once. Apparently, he's a better actor than he was a person.
You can follow me @Vits_Chile
Back to Top
JacobD View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: July 09 2014
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 870
Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2014 at 10:30pm
Who, Frankie Muniz or your brother?
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2014 at 8:29pm
According to my brother, he was acting like a complete jerk. Considering how he's a fan of Joe Arpaio, this isn't surprising.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
JacobD View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: July 09 2014
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 870
Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2014 at 7:37pm
Why, SchumacherH8ter? Was Frankie Muniz a horrible jerk? If so, how?! I loved him on Malcolm in the Middle, one of my all-time favorite TV shows!
Back to Top
jesse685 View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: May 12 2011
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 598
Post Options Post Options   Quote jesse685 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2014 at 6:48pm
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

9.) The GameStop scene: In one scene, a cop goes to a GameStop to get information on a game. This scene is already dumb to begin with, but it just gets dumber when he talks with the clerk. The clerk tries to push a FSP on him and it's acted out like he's supposed to be a drug dealer. The clerk even acts twitchy like a heroin dealer. It's a baffling scene that has no reason to exist.

Either way, the moral is: f*ck GameStop. That is all.
"If you can't make it good, make it 3D!" Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
F**k Yeah/WTF Were They Thinking Awards Results Live-Tweet @jesse685
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 27 2014 at 5:52pm
Time for next review, of a boring ass film that's famous more for the fact that it stars Frankie Muniz then it's qualities. My next review is of...
                                       
Stay Alive. Stay Alive is bad, that only a 9 Worst Things review can do it justice.

9.) The GameStop scene: In one scene, a cop goes to a GameStop to get information on a game. This scene is already dumb to begin with, but it just gets dumber when he talks with the clerk. The clerk tries to push a FSP on him and it's acted out like he's supposed to be a drug dealer. The clerk even acts twitchy like a heroin dealer. It's a baffling scene that has no reason to exist.

8.) Milo Ventimiglia: Ventimiglia plays a video game player. He gives his typical awful performance. He'd be higher if he didn't get killed early enough into the movie so it's not a spoiler.

7.) Does William Brent Bell even know how video games work?: Somehow, the creator of the video game in the film (Stay Alive, title drop mothaf*ckas!) was able to do it all by himself. That's dumb on its own, but the guy doesn't seem to own a computer! We see virtually every square foot of his house, but we don't see a damn computer.

6.) The script: The script for this movie is very dumb. The characters are stupid and make idiotic decisions and the story itself is dumb. The dumbest thing about it earns itself a point higher up on the list.

5.) Frankie Muniz's introduction: For reasons known only to William Brent Bell, he decided that Muniz's introduction should also double as a jump scare. Granted, Muniz's mug is scary but that's not a good enough reason to make this a jump scare.

4.) Hutch is a douchebag: Our main hero of the film is Hutch, played by Jon Foster. He's also a total douche. His girlfriend October (Sophia Bush) dies and, not even half a day later, he's kissing a woman he met at Ventimiglia's funeral. What a douche!

3.) William Brent Bell: In addition to directing this, Bell also directed the wretched The Devil Inside. To make these films, you have to have a specific hatred of humanity.

2.) Did they even know who Elizabeth Bathory was?: According to Stay Alive, Elizabeth Bathory lived in New Orleans. The Hungarian Elizabeth Bathory lived in New Orleans. William Brent Bell is an idiot.

1.) Frankie Muniz: Why the f*ck is Frankie Muniz in a horror movie? Who thought this would be a good idea? He gives an absolutely awful performance. To make matters worse, he survives the film!

Side-note: my brother met Frankie Muniz once. Apparently, he's a better actor than he was a person. Grade: D
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 26 2014 at 7:12pm
Time for my next review, of a forgotten horror movie from the mid-'90s. It got a Razzie nomination and it's a bad movie, but it's not completely without merit. This film is...
                                      
The Ghost And The Darkness.

The scenes with the lions are really good. I wasn't impressed with them the first time I saw it but, after finding out that the lion's actions weren't embellished like I thought, I came around to them. The best scene with them is the scene where they attack the hospital tent. It's a grisly scene that's creepy as Hell. Also good is the score by Jerry Goldsmith. Goldsmith's music can improve even the crappiest of movies.

The scenes where the lions aren't attacking people are boring. Worse, they rip-off scenes from Jaws. One of the characters is a blatant rip-off of Quint, but I'll get to him in the next paragraph. Val Kilmer gives a very bland performance. He doesn't seem to care about the film. Of course, when you find out about the behind-the-scenes screwing over he got on this film it's understandable. Also bland is Emily Mortimer in her very first role. It's not the most embarrassing first role from a respected British actress I've seen*, but it's a crappy performance.

Michael Douglas plays Remington, the Quint of the film. Although, that's not a perfect comparison since the Quint is supposed to be a side-character and Remington is practically the lead. Well, Remington was supposed to be a side-character until a meddling executive turned him into the lead. I won't reveal the name of the executive producer who caused all this, but I will say this: his dad played Spartacus for Kubrick. There's a very good reason why the Quint is almost never the lead: you can't relate to him. He's a larger than life character that is entertaining when in the background but when pushed to the lead, he seems uninteresting.** Also not helping matters is that Douglas gives a crappy performance. Also, this film has one of the most hilariously bad dream sequences ever. I won't spoil it since it's not apparent that it's a dream at first though. It's not a blatant dream sequence like in Jaws: The Revenge.

My initial grade for this was a C-, but I think I was a little too hard on it. Grade: C

*That's still Kristin Scott Thomas in Under The Cherry Moon.
**This may seem hypocritical since I wanted to see Quint in the Jaws prequel that was never made, but it's implied that Quint became the way he was because of that incident so it's not a clear-cut example.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: September 06 2007
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3144
Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 26 2014 at 12:56pm
1.) I don't mind.

2.) Jaws 2 actually came out before the slasher boom. I was just pointing out how their addition makes the film feel off.

3.) Spielberg hasn't said anything about doing this in a long time and I don't think another actor could do Quint justice.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
Back to Top
Vits View Drop Down
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum


Joined: February 01 2010
Location: Chile
Online Status: Online
Posts: 8054
Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 26 2014 at 11:54am
You didn't answer my question.
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

Most of the characters in the film are teenagers. Annoying teenagers played by actors that are clearly old enough to have graduated college. It makes the film feel more like a Friday The 13th sequel instead of Jaws.

Spielberg said he wanted to do a prequel about Quint's time on the USS Indianapolis. Oh God, could you imagine how awesome that would be?

1) Yesterday I had to re-watch EYES OF A STRANGER and I hated it! Later, I read that it was originally going to be a more traditional thriller, but they decided to change it into a slasher movie to cash in on the success of FRIDAY THE 13TH, HALLOWEEN, etc. Now that I've read your review, I have the feeling that there were more movies that I thought of that went through this changes.
2) It could still be made, right? I mean, they weren't going to use the same actor anyway?

You can follow me @Vits_Chile
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <12345 46>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down