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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Forum member reviews
    Posted: July 23 2014 at 6:48pm
To oiram and moviecritic1994: I'm not sure if I could recommend the 1956 version. The score is good, but the movie is more spectacle than film. HeadRAZZ agrees with me.

To GTAHater767: The Searchers should be number 1 on that list.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:30pm
If I can find it, I'll watch it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:30pm
Upon closer inspection, I realized that the original Around The World in 80 Days was vastly superior to the remake. The original has a grander a scale, shinier cast, and MUCH higher 73% (B) approval rating from pro critics. It met a few of the qualifications to be a Best Picture runner-up, but only a handful of the most basic ones, but none of the qualifications to actually win. Even the commoners gave it 60% approval rating (B-).

In the end, I put the original in 25th place on the Ancient Best Movies of '956 (out of about 150-200 movies made that year), while the remake got 8th place on the Bottom 40 Films of '004 (the 8th worst of about 400 films made in that year).

If you're asking me, "How could it be better than all but 24 movies in 1956?", I present a recap of the list:

25 Around the World in Eighty Days
24 Between Heaven and Hell
23 The Rainmaker
22 The Girl Can't Help It
21 Richard III
20 Written on the Wind
19 The Harder They Fall
18 Baby Doll
17 The Bad Seed
16 Anastasia
15 Friendly Persuasion
14 Somebody Up There Likes Me
13 Lust For Life
12 The Man Who Knew Too Much [remake]
11 Invasion of the Body Snatchers
10 The Forbidden Planet
9 The Ladykillers
8 Umberto D
7 Le Ballon Rouge
6 The Searchers
5 The Court Jester
4 La Strada
3 Giant
2 The King and I
1 The Ten Commandments

In conclusion, Around The World in Eighty Days was somewhat good, but the rest of the year's greatest films were better!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:05pm
How about this?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(1956_film)
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 4:02pm
AROUND THEWORLD IN 80 DAYS (2004)



I can't really describe this movie in one word like I do with some reviews. I must use two words... Stereotypical Nonsense. This version of Around The World in 80 Days is nothing but nonsensical noise with Stereotypes (some offensive and some just stereotypes of stereotypes). I'll just say right now I have not read the book by Jules Verne but it surely has to be better than this stupid waste of time and energy. Let's look at the embarrassing adaptation of "Around The World in 80 Days".

Phileas Fogg is an inventor who makes a bet with Lord Kelvin. He bets he can travel Around The World in 80 Days. If he wins, he'll be the new head of the Royal Academy of Science. If he loses, he must never invent again. Along with him is his new "valet" Lau Xing (Jackie Chan) and a bland French stereotype named Monique. I might as well get this out of the way first, no one in this movie feels like a real person. I really hate it when movies are pretty much just live action cartoons with no real substance or reality to it. The film is so silly to the point where it's hard to take it seriously when it does have a serious moment. 80 Days doesn't know when to be serious and when to be funny.

Even though the entire cast is trying very hard to make their roles believable, all of them pretty much fall on their faces. Jackie Chan really is at his worst here and I feel really sorry for him in this picture. However, I still have no idea what Rob Schinder, the Wilson brothers and Arnold Schwarzenegger are even in this movie. That's like putting Nick Swardson in The Diary of Anne Frank. It just doesn't feel right does it?

Another big reason why this movie is idiotic is the fact that there are quite a bit of offensive stereotypes of other countries and cultures. This movie had a big opportunity to really be informative and explore other cultures of different people in this world. Instead, it's a bunch of action scenes, running gags and a bad joke made even worse by the Screenplay. We basically have a live action cartoon that just won't shut up.

Around The World in 80 Days had great potential to be something that was both a fun and a serious look at different kinds of people. As is though, this films is just a loud nonsensical mess. It's awful paced, sloppily written, terribly acted and kind of insulting due to racial stereotypes throughout the film. So... what should be my next review???
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2014 at 5:44pm
The Purge is a movie with endless potential. It should be a great thriller. However, the film wastes its great premise on a boring and awful story. The Purge is such a dumb movie and so bereft of positive qualities, this is going to be a 9 worst things review.

9.) Lena Headey: Headey is a great actress, but she's shockingly bad in this film. She's great when she's playing badass characters like in 300, Game Of Thrones, and The Sarah Conner Chronicles. Here, she's badly miscast as a simpering housewife.

8.) The scares: The Purge is ostensibly a horror movie. This is despite the fact that it's as scary as a Baby Einstein video. If you want to see a home invasion movie that's actually scary, just re-watch The Strangers. Sure the characters in The Strangers are stupid as Hell, but they're smarter than these jokers. The characters in this movie are idiots!

7.) The characters in this movie are idiots: The characters in this are so dumb, that the remote control car that the kid drives around is the smartest character! Ethan Hawke's character is easily the dumbest. The husband designs security systems, yet doesn't think to have a backup generator in his house? 

6.) James DeMonaco: DeMonaco is the writer and director of this sh*t. He's a hack who can't write or direct. He doesn't have an original idea in his head either. All of the villains die the same way, they're about to kill someone and then an unseen character shotguns them from behind.

5.) Ethan Hawke: Hawke is a great actor, but his performance is awful in this. If the villains in this movie weren't even more annoying, I'd be rooting for them.

4.) The villains: There are many great and iconic horror movie villains. These villains are neither. Their actions and mannerisms aren't scary in the least. In fact, they're downright hilarious. Not helping matters, the lead villain is played by the horrendous actors Rhys Wakefield.

3.) The political message: The Purge has a left wing political message that it completely bungles through a combination of obnoxious heavy-handedness and stupidity about reality. The Purge is revealed to be an excuse for the rich to kill the poor. This apparently keeps the unemployment rate low and the economy high. However, a low unemployment rate is actually bad for the economy. It causes more inflation and causes stagnation in the workforce.

2.) The blown potential: They idea of a night where crime is legal could have lead to an interesting and engrossing movie. There's a million things you could do with this premise. DeMonaco chose the least interesting choice for a premise. The premise was done much better in an episode of The Powerpuff Girls. The film is an incredibly boring home invasion movie. The fact that this film made a crap load while the great home invasion movie You're Next flopped is a disgrace.

1.) Lars Von Trier movies have more respect for humanity: Early in the film, Ethan Hawke's character listens to a person call into a radio show and enthusiastically talk about how he plans to kill his boss. The film's events can only happen if every single person in the film's world is a sociopath. The film is an ugly repulsive film that's impossibly dumb. It's message is dumb and heavy-handed and the acting is awful.

When I first saw this movie, I gave it a D. In hindsight, I was way to kind. Grade: F
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 14 2014 at 3:17pm
That is pretty weird considering the fact that Tom Cruise to me is an overrated Actor. Yeah he had a couple of good films like Jerry Maguire and Rain Man, but he doesn't really do much "acting". I don't know, I guess he's sort of a "Prince Charming 2.0" guy.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 14 2014 at 3:13pm
It's a money issue. If a movie flops, the studio assumes it's because of the stars. So they won't hire them again to avoid risks. Of course that this doesn't apply to every flop. Hell, Tom Cruise was still offered scripts after ROCK OF AGES and he'll still get them after EDGE OF TOMORROW.
Originally posted by moviecritic1994

I guess the only reason why this movie is even remembered is because it was a huge and embarrassing Box Office Bomb.

Pretty much.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 14 2014 at 2:07pm
Yeah I guess so, Will Smith can only be found in Winter's Tale for now. I know he has some other project coming up but yeah... After Earth didn't do him any favors.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 14 2014 at 2:01pm
Box Office Bombs have the tendency to kill careers.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 14 2014 at 1:40pm
CUTTHROAT ISLAND (1995)



I still have no idea why this movie is so remembered. Cutthroat Island is one of the most boring, forgettable and bland movies I've ever seen. It's a film that is nothing but explosions and a treasure hunt nobody cares about. It might not be the worst movie ever made, but it's definitely one of the most tedious movies I ever seen. It should be on a shelf next to The Lone Ranger and Tarzan, The Ape Man.

Morgan Adams (Geena Davis) is a pirate who has recently lost her father. After getting the Treasure Map cut from her father's head (gross) she sets off with her crew to find this treasure and... that is literally it. Cutthroat Island is nothing more than a long and over drawn Treasure hunt. Yeah there's a villain and Morgan's Father's killer Dawg (Frank Langella) but even then he's pretty pointless. This entire story is pointless. I know Pirate movies usually revolve around a treasure, but there's usually something more to the story besides that. Pirates and The Caribbean is a good example of a good Pirate Movie. Besides the treasure, there's a curse that has to be lifted. Cutthroat Island offers no real risk or payoff if these people get the treasure or not.

Another big problem with the movie is that it's too damn long. Yes, it shares the same problem as The Lone Ranger, it's ridiculously long for no reason. Don't get me wrong, if a film has an interesting story and interesting characters along with great dialog then the experience can be a good time. However, more than half the time Cutthroat Island just focuses on constant action scenes. This film is the pure example of all Style and no Substance. Like I said with The Lone Ranger, Action scenes can be good but not in large doses. Constant action and fight scenes get boring really quickly when they are being done for more than half the film.

The only good thing I can say about the movie is the fact that Entire Cast is trying their hardest with a script that is pretty much lacking in almost every aspect. I still have no idea why this movie killed Geena Davis' career. I mean she's not reason the movie sucked, it's the lack of direction and horrible writing that's to blame here. I don't really see any other bad performances here. I mean they're not by any means good, but I can't really say if there's a performance that made me cringe or anything like that.

I guess the only reason why this movie is even remembered is because it was a huge and embarrassing Box Office Bomb. Besides that, Cutthroat Island has no re-watch value at all. It's boring, it's too long, it's horribly written and terribly directed by Renny Harlin. Maybe if the movie focused more on the characters and the story instead of the constant explosions then it could've been great. However, as is it's just a huge waste of time.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 10 2014 at 4:09pm
The 2001 remake of Planet Of The Apes is one of the dumbest movies ever made. Almost every actor is horribly miscast and Tim Burton obviously didn't give a crap. It's not his worst movie since there's no scene where Johnny Depp breakdances but it's still an abomination.

The best performance in the film comes from Tim Roth as General Thade. Roth is really good as the main villain of the film. He turned down the role of Professor Snape to appear in this. In hindsight, this is bad for him but good for us. I can't see Roth as Snape. It's like Will Smith turning down The Matrix to appear in Wild Wild West. Michael Clarke Duncan and Paul Giamatti are good too. Rick Baker's make-up is easily the best part of the film. Too bad they were wasted on this film.

Mark Wahlberg is hilariously miscast as an astronaut. Every moment he's in his astronaut suit, I was laughing. He looks like a little kid playing dress-up. The action scenes in the film are shockingly bad. Burton has directed action well before (i.e. his Batman films), so there's no excuse for how boring the action scenes are. The final ape fight is one of the most anti-climatic final battles in film history. Another big issue with the film is the executive meddling. There was supposed to be a Planet Of The Apes remake in the '90s, that would have starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, been directed by either James Cameron, Peter Jackson, or Sam Raimi, and super violent. I don't know if this would have been any good, but it would definitely be better than this sh*t pie here. It was cancelled because a Fox executive kept insisting that there be a scene where Arnold teaches the apes to play baseball. This project morphed into the 2001 version.

Estella Warren is just awful as Romantic Lead. She deserved her Razzie for this. She's awful and has no chemistry with Wahlberg. Sh*t, Wahlberg had more chemistry with Helena Bonham Carter. Carter is awful as well. Something I noticed about her: when she's not directed by Burton, she's a mostly good actress. With Burton behind the camera, she mostly awful. Maybe Carter needs to be pushed to be good and Burton doesn't push her because he doesn't want to end up on the couch. She's not as awful as Warren, but she sucks badly. Most people blame the failure of the movie on Burton, because this feels nothing like one of his movies. But, despite how awful his direction is, he's not the main failing of the film. That would be the moronic script. Without a doubt, the worst part of the film is the ending. The ending is especially awful when compared to the original. The ending of the original reveals that the planet was Earth all along and the humans are the real animals because they blew it up. The ending of this one is a Goddamn pun. There's an ape in the Lincoln Memorial. Abraham, Aperaham. Do you get the awful and unfunny pun? It's awful a cliffhanger, promising more sequels. Ironically, this film got no sequels while the original got several despite Charleston Heston's objections.

The newest Planet Of The Apes film comes out tomorrow. Considering the trailer and the critical reviews, it's probably going to be one of the best movies of the summer. Grade: D
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2014 at 2:48pm
Yes I have, it's a good show but not as good as the original Avatar. I couldn't get through the second season because Korra was slowly becoming Julia Roberts
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2014 at 2:35pm
Speaking of which have you seen its sequel, Legend of Korra?
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2014 at 2:17pm
I don't watch a lot of Cartoons anymore, I have two little brothers and three little sisters. Sometimes, I'll watch the cartoons with them and I'm very amazed how kid's shows have gone hill and just don't care about their target audience.

That's why shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender are so rare. It's a show both kids and adults can watch and enjoy. Needless to say, I like Movies and TV Shows that are entertaining and thoughtful as well.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2014 at 1:55pm
Uh huh...

What cartoon shows do you watch?

Originally posted by moviecritic1994

SpongeBob Squarepants is one of those shows a lot of people watch when they're high on Weed. It's literally a show where nothing happens and nothing makes sense. I feel the same way about The Regular Show and Adventure Time.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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