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JacobD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Forum member reviews
    Posted: October 22 2014 at 12:04am
In your review of Scooby-Doo, you say you don't like James Gunn. What did you think of Guardians of the Galaxy? And he did write the Dawn of the Dead remake AND did a kick-ass job of it IMHO. Look it up for yourself!

I also thought Slither was a ton of fun until the last 15 minutes which kind of dragged a little and have heard mostly positive things about Super.

Good review of S. Darko. I cried hard at the end of Donnie Darko and I'm glad you loved it also!!!

By the way, what movies have you ever cried at, if any?
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 11:20pm
Here is my review of S. Darko. Two things about it: 1.) It's my very first Rotten Asshole review and 2.) I've reversed my opinion on one thing mentioned in the review: I think Daveigh Chase is hot now.
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JacobD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 11:04pm
Donnie Darko is in my opinion, one of the greatest motion pictures ever made as well as one of my all-time favorite movies which leads me to ask WHY WOULD THEY MAKE A f**kING SEQUEL?!?!?!?!!

Didn't anyone learn anything from 2010, the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey? You don't mess with perfection, and you especially don't make a sequel-any sequel unless there is intended to be one!!! Have you done a review, if not please do so, and if so could you please send me a link like you did to your American Beauty essay?
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 8:34pm
I've got something really bad to review tonight. If it wasn't a direct-to-video sequel, it'd be on my most hated list. With the exception of S. Darko, it's the worst direct-to-video sequel ever. This wretched excuse for a film is...
                                      
American Psycho 2. Since American Psycho 2 is so bereft of positive qualities, it can only be reviewed with a 9 Worst things review. Also, there will be spoilers but f*ck this movie! It doesn't deserve to be seen.

9.) There's literally nothing to do with American Psycho after the opening: After the opening scene, this film ceases to be about American Psycho. Even worse, the film isn't even similar tonally to American Psycho. There's no satire in it. As you could probably guess, this wasn't originally supposed to be a sequel to American Psycho. As bad as The Rage: Carrie 2 was, at least that felt more like a sequel than this one. At least there's evidence that Katt Shea saw Carrie.

8.) Lindy Booth: Booth plays Cassandra, a student sleeping with her professor (played by, no joke, William Shatner). He makes her his teaching assistant because of this. This angers Rachael (Mila Kunis), so she kills her. Booth gives a crappy performance.

7.) Stupid cops: There's been dumb cops in movies before, but these might be the dumbest. They make the cops from Reno! 911 look like geniuses. Not only can they not solve the murders, they also can't seem to handle Mila Kunis, who's tiny as f*ck!

6.) Terrible post-kill puns: Lending further evidence that the makers didn't see the original, Rachael says terrible puns after killing people. Did they think that Patrick Bateman was a Freddy Krueger-like killer? The closest thing to a post-kill pun in American Psycho is after Patrick kills Paul Allen and says "Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you f*cking stupid bastard!" The nadir is after she strangles Brian with a condom. She says "Ribbed, for her pleasure." Bleech!

5.) Morgan J. Freeman: Freeman is the director of this. He shows no skill whatsoever. He's also a producer for 16 And Pregnant and Teen Mom, so he's a terrible person in addition to being a terrible director.

4.) The script: Not only is this film a terrible sequel, it's a terrible movie on its own too. There's several glaring plotholes. Rachael says there was nothing connecting her to the opening murder, but there's a witness and one of the victims is her babysitter. Also, several of her kills have nothing to do with her stated goal of becoming a TA. Also, the film has the gall to try and set up a sequel.

3.) Robin Dunne: Dunne is the patron saint of terrible DTV sequels*. He plays Brian, the guy who gets choked by a condom. If this sounds dumb, it plays out even worse in action. Dunne gives a characteristically awful performance.

2.) Mila Kunis: Starring in this movie is almost as embarrassing as having a baby with Ashton Kutcher. Kunis gives a terrible performance as Rachael. It's hard to believe that this is the same woman from Black Swan.

1.) It retroactively ruins American Psycho: The film's only connection to American Psycho is not only the worst thing about the film, but it actually makes American Psycho worse. In the opening scene, Patrick is torturing Rachael's babysitter to death when Rachael stabs him with an ice pick. Why was Patrick torturing her? Patrick only killed yuppies and prostitutes in the first one. He killed other types of people in the book but I don't think the filmmakers can read, so let's ignore the book for now. They try to explain it late in the film: Shatner was dating the babysitter, he told her about Bateman, and she decided to track him down. However, this just makes things worse. One of the points of the film (and book) was that '80s culture was so sociopathic, that he fit in perfectly. Bateman shouldn't be on any government watchlist. Beyond all of this, it ruins the ambiguity of the film. That's one of the most revered parts of the film, and this piece of sh*t sh*ts all over it!

Here's the top-rated trivia item from this film's IMDb page: Mila Kunis is ashamed of this movie. Grade: Rotten Asshole

*In addition to this, he was in Cruel Intentions 2, The Skulls II, and Species III.
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JacobD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 6:54pm
Origins had a perfect balance of comedy and drama IMHO. It was a fun action movie w/ some solid emotional moments, and I loved every second of it!!!
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Vits View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 5:30pm
INDEPENDENCE DAY is often called a "stupid but fun movie" because audiences were expected to turn off their brains. ORIGINS was meant to be a serious movie, but it failed to reach most viewers' emotions.
You can follow me @Vits_Chile
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 4:34pm
I though X-men Origins was a great movie, but we can have our opinions and respectfully disagree. I thought it was fun not stupid, in the same way Independence Day isn't stupid at all, its FUN. Get it?

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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 9:47am
1.) Because I decided to review the remake, which was more recent.
2.) I didn't watch Prison Break.
3.) Maybe.

Also, X-Men Origins was a stupid movie but The Last Stand Stand was a stupid movie that could have been great so it pissed me off more.
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Vits View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2014 at 6:31am
1) Even if it's good, there's no way it'll work, for the same reason the show has never truly worked. It started as a show targeted directly at kids instead of kids and adults. That's bad enough in movies, but it's worse in shows because the kids eventually grow up*. The makers tried to make the show darker to appeal to the fans, but then they reversed back to sillyness to appeal to new kids (they have a bigger impact in ratings). This pissed off the adult fans. Now they're expecting a dark movie, but that will alienate kids. It'll a big mess!
2) I found them to be on the same level. They both could've been good if the makers had decided what they wanted to make in the first place.

*This is why even the most popular Nickelodeon and Disney shows usually end after 4 years.
Originally posted by JacobD

What do you think of the new Power Rangers movie so far?

can we both agree The Last Stand was an infinitely worse movie?

1) Why?
2) He also directed one of the best episodes of PRISON BREAK.
3) I thought it was worse. Will you review that remake?

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

I was going to review it last Horror Movie Month, but a remake of the original came out so I pushed it to this year.

Mandel was uncredited in the final film, so I'm mentioning his name to remind people that he's a hack even if he directed a great episode of Lost.

One positive: it's not as bad as the made-for-TV remake from 2002.

You can follow me @Vits_Chile
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JacobD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 11:53pm
Also SchumacherH8ter, I read your review of X-men Origins: Wolverine. Agree to disagree, its my favorite X-men movie and one of my favorite superhero movies ever. The CGI I honestly didn't notice* because I was so invested in the story, I wasn't caring about how technically flawed it was. I couldn't care less about Deadpool, personally. I don't remember them calling him "Deadpool" in the movie, they called him "Weapon X", so to me its really no big deal at all. As for Skip Woods, I thought Max Payne was entertainingly stylized if ludicrous, Swordfish was a pretty solid action film, and Origins was just a great movie, period. I confess that I couldn't finish watching Die Hard 5, though. I give X-men Origins: Wolverine an A+ and can just start watching it anytime its on.

I noticed the admittedly terrible effects on the nuclear plant at the end, but was too entertained by the kick-ass fight between Wolverine/Sabretooth and Weapon X aka "Deadpool" to really give a sh*t.

Still, can we both agree The Last Stand was an infinitely worse movie?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 11:30pm
Great review, but my uncle's not a film geek and its one of his all-time favorite movies. I feel the majority of people still seem to like it, and you can't deny it represented a generation, no matter how dated it may seem. I myself plan on seeing it someday and hope it lives up to the hype, for me at least.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 8:59pm
I actually wrote an essay about American Beauty and how the film isn't as well-regarded as it was in the '99.

As for Moulin Rouge, I just plain hate Baz Luhrman and his style.
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JacobD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 8:48pm
I also haven't seen American Beauty either, but have heard generally positive things, on the other hand.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 8:41pm
Also, why didn't you like American Beauty? It won the Oscar for Best Picture. I liked A Beautiful Mind and Forrest Gump, even if I don't think they were the best of the year by any means. The only Best Picture winner I consider a genuine atrocity w/ no redeemable qualities whatsoever is Going My Way starring Bing Crosby. I can't speak for Crash, seeing as how I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard generally negative things, including from you.

And while I'm at it, why didn't you like Moulin Rouge? I personally consider it a masterpiece but I want to know why you didn't like it.
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 8:36pm
I honestly don't care about the Power Rangers reboot. All I know is that Star Trek III is like FUBAR now. The Abrams Star Trek films were good in spite or Orci and Kurtzman. The fact that they chose the crazier one to helm the film shows that it's doomed.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JacobD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2014 at 8:20pm
Everything I asked above to Vits about Power Rangers, I'm asking you SchumacherH8ter. I especially want to know what you think now since Roberto Orci is no longer involved because of his commitment to Star Trek III. Dream cast? Director?! Please respond.
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