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    Posted: July 28 2013 at 11:10am
BATMAN (1989)  

It had been a long time since I'd seen this film -- I was 10 years old when I first saw it, and I liked it then. However, after re watching recently, I have to say: It's not as good as I remembered it being.

Don't get me wrong, Batman is still a really good film. It has great visuals, the acting is solid a lot of the time, and we do have an above average story. However, there it still has some flaws that need to be pointed out.

The story of this Batman is rather simple: The Clown Prince of Crime (aka The Joker) is decides to terrorize the citizens of Gotham City, and only Batman can stop him from poisoning the city with a toxic gas called Smilex. Even though the story is a little too basic for me, I still think it's a fun ride. However, I do have to point out one of the flaws of this film. It can get really goofy, and is occasionally too silly. I guess I feel this way because I do like this darker, grittier tone, rather than the silly over-the-top goofiness of the Adam West TV show. Although this film is still really dark (It is directed by Tim Burton) there are still times when I sense they tried to mesh the goofiness of the old Batman show and the darkness of the comic books. It isn't a big flaw, but for me it still was a little odd.  

The acting is really good in this film -- not great, but good. Michael Keaton as Batman is still as awesome as I remember. He manages to balance the duality of Bruce Wayne and Batman quite nicely. However, I do have issues with Kim Basinger's character Vicki Vale. She seems like a total blank slate. I mean yeah she's a no nonsense reporter sort of like Lois Lane. But just like Lois, Vicki just seems like "the girl" that Batman always has to rescue. Also whenever she screams she sounds like a banshee.

As for Jack Nicholson, I really do like his portrayal of the Joker. He seems to be having fun with the role, and he's wonderfully evil. With that being said, I still have some problems with both the character and the actor portraying him. Remember the silliness I mentioned earlier? Well Joker is the main culprit. He is a really dark and evil character in this film, but there are times when I think of Cesar Romero's Joker (like when he's trashing that museum with paint to Prince music). Even during the parade scene, I thought he was rather silly. As for the acting, I don't necessarily believe Nicholson as Joker, though there are times when he does "disappear into the role." However, most of the time all I see is Jack Nicholson acting like The Joker. Another thing I didn't like about the character is that the writers wanted him to somehow be involved in Batman's origin story. I won't spoil it for anyone (even though I'm sure there are only five people who haven't seen it) but I really didn't like the way they handled the twist in the origin of Bruce Wayne becoming Batman. 

To sum it all up, I really like this movie -- I don't love it, but I like it. There are some character flaws, along with cheesy one-liners and scenes that seem out of place. Besides that, there is not much wrong with this film. It has great acting, great writing, wonderful direction, and it's an all around good time. Check it out whenever you can. 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2013 at 2:46pm
Tim Burton's first Batman movie is one of my all-time favorites, and my favorite Burton film (after Ed Wood). 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 30 2013 at 7:51am
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Though I think Tim Burton's 1989 BATMAN was only OK (and in general I find Burton's output hit-and-miss) I must confess I have a special place in my heart for ED WOOD -- One of the few mainstream movies ever to capture why people like us adore Wretched Cinema. I was also pleasantly surprised when the Academy recognized the film by giving Martin Landau a well-deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar (IMDb LINK) for his hilarious portrayal of Bela Lugosi. Landau's remark as Wood and his cohorts flee the initial, disastrous showing of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE ("Now that was a premiere!") is one of my all-time favorite deliveries of a dialogue line... 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote Grounder the Critic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 30 2013 at 10:08am
I'm not gonna lie, guys, as much as I enjoyed Batman, the 1989 movie, it's not as good as two of Christopher Nolan's movies, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. And other films from Burton, at least until Planet of the Apes, are fun to watch. Especially, like what you guys mentioned, Ed Wood. It was such an outstanding movie, that it pretty much made want to be a movie maker.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 30 2013 at 11:32am
As much as I love Burton's 1989 Batman, it can't compare with Nolan's Batman movies.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 30 2013 at 2:51pm
I also think BATMAN was just O.K. while ED WOOD was great. But the former was more "new" at the time of its original release. 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 12:31am
I also love the Dark Knight Trilogy, but I still have special place in my memory and heart for "Batman Returns."  It was the very first Batman film I ever saw, and of course Michelle Pfeiffer's portrayal of Catwoman was first rate.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 8:22am
Grounder, your love of Batman Returns reminds me of a film class I took a couple semesters ago. It was film-watching class devoted to discussing films by genre -- We discussed Westerns, Melodramas, Gangster films, Musicals, and as the last genre, we discussed Batman movies. The two we discussed were Batman Returns and The Dark Knight. The discussion we had after that was very interesting. I put forward my idea that Returns is actually darker than Dark Knight. I argued that the citizens of Gotham in Returns were so morally bankrupt that if they were in the ferry scene from The Dark Knight, they'd be tripping over themselves to use the detonator. 

Afterwards, several of my classmates declared Returns their favorite Batman film!  


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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 4:30pm
I've thought about doing this... and now I have decided to do it. I'm going to do a review here. Two, in fact.

Now, before I start, I should stress that this is all my opinion, and if you disagree, that is fine. Just don't start saying "I'm cretinous for thinking such-and-such"...


First, the long overdue review of: THE LONE RANGER  

The film is about how a young lawman by the name of John Reid, who does not believe in even using a gun, comes into a plot involving a wanted man by the name of Butch Cavendish. After his brother is killed and John nearly dies himself, he is saved by a particularly odd Native American named Tonto, whom he met earlier. Tonto decides to have John don a mask after a white horse comes and appears to "claim" John is a Spirit Walker (A man who cannot be killed), as Tonto believes. Together, they plan to stop the plot Butch Cavendish is a part of, as well as save John's brother's wife and child. Through this adventure, they also not only find out that not only is the plot much bigger than expected, but also ties into Tonto's tragic past, and this entire adventure eventually leads to John Reid becoming The Lone Ranger.

Okay, so people have already talked about how much this movie is going to bomb at the box office, and it pretty much met those expectations. Personally, I could give a **** less about how much money a movie made. What matters to me is if the movie is good. Is The Lone Ranger good? Ehh... It's okay. Some of you might disagree, but it might not be truly one of the Worst movies of the year. That does not necessarily mean it is off my list, because there are problems I can see other people having. I have problems too.

First off, the movie's story is being told to a kid by an old Tonto. I'm guessing because the movie did have problems, production wise, they use this to try to have people say "Well, Tonto is kind of odd, so he might not get everything entirely straight." For example, Tonto is put in jail in the first fifteen minutes of the movie, but the next time he shows up, he is out of jail. The kid actually asks how he got out of jail, but it is never explained. Tonto just shrugs of the question.

Another thing that got to me was the "chemistry" between Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. They really didn't connect too well, even at the end. Even though it is suppose to show that the two characters are suppose to have a rift on the journey that gets fixed at the end, but there was not one, but two times when John Reid basically left Tonto to die, and the only reason he came back the first time was because Tonto knew where they needed to go. I feel that was pushing- no, punching it way too far.

The directing and effects were pretty good, I particularly admired the final climax for trying to be a little different.

The acting is good for the most part. The best actors are actually Johnny Depp and William Fichtner. Depp actually had some real funny moments as Tonto, and Fichtner was a pretty disgusting, yet interesting villain. I have to say that Armie Hammer is probably the worst actor in the movie, because you do not really believe, even at the end, that he really captured being a hero, The Lone Ranger, all too well. It was like he was channeling Ryan Reynolds, complaining way too much. By the end, it is almost too late. Also special mention needs to go to Helena Bonham Carter, who had a intriguing character that was not used to her full potential.

Many people have said that the runtime was the biggest problem. That actually did not bother me. What bothered me was actually the screenplay. The reason is because this movie is the most jarring use of tone I've seen yet. William Fichtner's character, Butch, ultimately kills John's brother Dan by eating his heart. You don't see it, but it is heavily implied. That is pretty damn dark for a movie like this, but not five minutes later, there is a scene where the white horse takes a dump while dragging John to a canyon, and Tonto lets the horse drag John over his crap. There are more scenes like this where the tone is not set well at all.

I would not say that the screenplay is devoid of intelligence. Tonto puts his crow head-dress to good use in one scene when John was close to being killed in order to save him. But over all, the problems are too big to make the movie good. I still do not say its one of the worst, though. I still had some fun.

I give it a C.

Now, on to another movie I saw, one that really is one of the Worst movies of the year: 
GROWN UPS 2 

By gosh, even the first Grown Ups had more story than this. This is really just a bunch of scenes strung together to make it look like there's a plot going on. Like there's a thing about Salma Hayek wanting Adam Sandler to accept a fourth child, an old bully, played by Stone Cold Steve Austin, comes back into Sandler's life, a son of David Spade, whom he never knew he had, comes to visit and he is really pissed at Spade, college kids Taylor Lautner, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Milo Ventimiglia, and others are being jerks to older people... That's not a plot, those are just "kinda plots" thrown together in hopes that something comes out of it. There are even smaller "kinda" plots that aren't worth mentioning. Some of them are only in 5 minutes or less of the movie.

Really, the directing is terrible because you do not believe the world this "movie" takes place in. Its too silly to be real. That's not even the point of it. There are also a few effects shots that look like that guys from A Sound of Thunder worked on the movie.

Admittedly, I snickered at one or two scenes, but they were very forgettable, and I bet I will not laugh at them again when I see them. Even if I did, 99.99% of the "jokes" fall flat. Flatter than a pancake squashed by Kevin James.

The "acting" is either too bland, too silly, or just freaking annoying. There's this one kid in particular playing Tim Meadows son, and he is so just ripping off Steve Urkel, I'm surprised that he was not called that in the movie. Shaquille O'Neal is in this, as you guys know, and he is not only bad as expected, he does some embarrassing **** in the movie, and it almost makes the movies he starred in from the 90s look bearable. However, he was not the worst actor in this movie. No, the worst actors in this movie are:

1: Nick Swardson. He plays the worst gay character I've seen yet. He played a more respectable gay character in A Haunted House. Nick Swardson's character is just offensive, period, because he is portrayed as psychotic, stupid, drugged up, and somewhat abusive. Rob Schneider's character was more likeable than Swardson's character was.

2: Taylor Lautner. Lautner was funny when he was Jacob Black. He overblows his performance to the point you don't like him. Not because he is a bad guy, as intended, but because he is too stupid to live. Also, and I might be wrong, but every karate move Taylor Lautner does looks CG, and I know he can do karate. The worst thing he had to do is have a stag, "set-up" at the beginning of the movie, comes and eats his penis.

Adam Sandler may not be in the Top 5 of worst actors in this movie, but his character is so unlikeable. When the bully from years ago tells Sandler to stop spreading lies about how Sandler beat him up, Sandler starts stammering. When his movie daughter asks him why he is doing that, he yells at her, telling her to shut up. So likeable, eh?

All in all, if not for Movie 43 and Inappropriate Comedy, this would be the Worst Picture of the year.

I give it an F.  


Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 6:03pm
Considering how offensive and moronic Swardson's character in A Haunted House was, the idea of you finding it "more respectful" is both disturbing and perplexing.

Originally posted by oiram

He played a more respectable gay character in A Haunted House.


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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 6:14pm
I was trying to get across that his performance in Grown Ups 2 was worse than his performance in A Haunted House -- which I thought was still terrible, but not as terrible.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 6:55pm
Okay -- So the idea of his performance in Grown Ups 2 being worse than his performance in A Haunted House is also both disturbing and perplexing.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 7:05pm
Why don't you watch Grown Ups 2 to see if you agree?

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

The idea of his performance in Grown Ups 2 being worse than his performance in A Haunted House is both disturbing and perplexing.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 7:05pm
So... That's how Oiram writes reviews. 

Interesting...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 7:10pm
One thing I forgot to mention again is that my cousin (who was an extra) thankfully did not make the final cut of Grown Ups 2.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote Grounder the Critic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 31 2013 at 7:59pm
Well, I can understand that Batman Returns is even darker than TDK, and hell, it seems pitch black to me for not only a Batman film, but a Tim Burton film.  But, I looked back and it is more or less a regular (and of course, pitch black) Tim Burton movie. Doesn't change the fact that the film is lovable, but hey, I still enjoyed The Dark Knight more than Returns. Tongue 


Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

I put forward my idea that Returns is actually darker than Dark Knight.

Originally posted by oiram

Now on to another movie I saw, one that I really is one of the Worst movies of the year: Grown Ups 2. I give it an F.
 

Thank god I never saw Grown Ups 2 in theatres. However, I did see it on Livestream when YouChew (Which is the forums for YouTube Poop, and I do have an account there, but hey, I know most of you don't like those stuff, but I'm getting off-topic here) was streaming not too long ago. And nobody was kidding. 

This second one makes the first Grown-Ups look a LOT like Casablanca. 


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