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moviecritic1994 View Drop Down
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    Posted: August 02 2013 at 11:06pm
I am barely 30 minutes into Glitter... I am not sure if I can watch all of it. My headache is getting worse frame by frame...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 10:18am
GLITTER (2001)  

This is the 11th film I've reviewed, and the first to literally give me a headache. A lot of other critics who've reviewed this film used the word Cliché a lot, and understandably so. "Glitter" is not only formulaic, but also has horrible acting and dreadful writing. So.. let's dive into this worthless excuse for a film. But I think you may find it necessary to take some headache medicine before you go on reading this review.

The story of "Glitter" is very simple: A singer named Billie Frank (Mariah Carey) is trying to make it in the music industry with the help of her dumb-ass boyfriend named Julian Dice (Max Beesley) and with some support from her equally annoying friends. And.... that's it. Billie faces no real obstacles or challenges to getting to her goal. All she does is get into these pointless arguments with her producer and boyfriend Dice. I also need to mention Julian Dice is probably one of the most annoying and idiotic characters I've ever seen. To put it simply, the character itself is a clichéd and stereotypical idiot. He starts out very supportive of Billie, but as soon as she starts getting famous (what a shock!) he starts to get really jealous. The story thus follows the stereotypical formula of the boyfriend not being really famous and somehow his girlfriend gets all the attention. If that weren't enough, Billie and Dice get into these pointless arguments that I really didn't care about, mostly because the both of them were acting more like children than adults. I won't go too much into Billie's friends Roxanne and Louise, because they serve no real purpose in the film, besides being really lame "comic relief." 

Of course, the acting in this film is down-right terrible, but sometimes it does have unintentional comedy. Whenever Mariah Carey tries to "act" serious, I start laughing. I laughed because I knew she wasn't really taking this role seriously. She was mainly playing herself and it clearly shows. Again, Max Beesley's character was horrible in every sense of the word. He's poorly acted and frankly whenever he was on screen, I wanted to punch him in the face. I also found it strange Terrence Howard was in this film -- I mean, I'm not sure how great an actor he really is, but surely he must be better than this?  

Even though this film was nominated for 6 Razzie Awards, it only won one. Of course, Mariah Carey won Worst Actress. I do think the award is well deserved, but I really would've liked Max Beesley to have won Worst Supporting Actor. Not only was his character annoying and stupid to no end, but his acting was particularly bad here. I might even say this movie should've won Worst Picture, but then again, I haven't seen "Freddy Got Fingered".

To finally end this review, there is only one word to describe this film. It's the same word I used when I reviewed Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star... pointless. We all know what this film was, a vehicle for Mariah Carey to become an actress. Obviously, this vehicle ran out of gas very quickly. The film is clichéd, the acting is truly awful with unintentional comedy, the story has no surprises and there really is no direction or writing talent. 

Take my Advice, stay away from this picture. After reviewing this movie, I only have one question... why is this movie even called "Glitter"? 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 3:04pm
Howard wasn't famous at the time.

Originally posted by moviecritic1994

I also found it strange Terrence Howard was in this film, I mean I am not sure how great an actor he really is but surely he must be better than this.
 

Originally posted by moviecritic1994

why is this movie even called "Glitter"?
 

I read that there's a point in the movie where glitter falls during a scene transition. Is that true?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 3:37pm
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: The answer to why the film's title is GLITTER is found in the clip we showed from it as a Worst Picture nominee in our 2002 ceremony: Carey is shooting a music video in which "glitter" is cascading down from above, and the "director" (in one of those great "Did They Even THINK About What They Had Him Saying?!?" Moments) declares: "The glitter mustn't overpower the artist!" 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 5:52pm
In a normal movie, the scene with the director that HeadRAZZ mentioned would be the worst scene. But in a movie as boring as Glitter, it's actually the best scene!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 6:06pm
WOW! The best scene?
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 7:05pm
I should probably clarify that by "best scene" I meant that it was the most unintentionally hilarious scene.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 03 2013 at 9:02pm
Isn't that kind of a stupid reason to name a movie? Glitter is mentioned once and suddenly it's the title? Then again, I shouldn't read too much into this. I already lost enough brain cells just from watching this garbage.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 5:40am
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: It's my favorite scene from GLITTER because, by inadvertently pointing out the vacuousness of the film itself, it speaks to the utter obliviousness of everyone involved in the project...  


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 5:44am
Yeah I guess it sort of makes sense. Oblivious is one word to describe the Razzie-nominated writers of this film, as well as Razzie-nominated director Vondie Curtis Hall.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 2:47pm
CHALLENGE from Head RAZZberry: Yo, MovieCritic1994 -- In your review of GLITTER, you argue that it should have "won" more RAZZIES® than it did, but you also admit to not having seen the film that did "sweep" that year's dis-honors, FREDDY GOT FINGERED. Here's the LINK to our Forum page listing all of our 2001 nominees and "winners."

At the risk of giving you not just a headache but possibly permanent brain damage, I herewith challenge you to make FREDDY (which I have repeatedly pegged as "The only Worst Picture "winner" that I actually HATE") your next review. 

I predict it will make the horrors of GLITTER seem like a day at the beach with Annette Funnicello... 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 2:51pm
...and Frankie Avalon?
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 5:06pm
Head Razz, I accept your challenge. However, I think the hardest part of this may be just finding Freddy Got Fingered -- I couldn't really find the full film on YouTube, like I did with Glitter or I Know Who Killed Me. As soon as I find it, I'll watch it (Headache medication at the ready) and review it. 

 But I must say, I am not looking forward to it... 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 7:29pm
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Out of morbid curiosity, I just checked on Amazon, and found a used copy of FREDDY for sale for (literally) ONE CENT! (LINK). Of course, there's shipping and handling on top of that, but the price should give you some idea of just how UN-esteemed the film is...  


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2013 at 7:36pm
One Cent? That is pretty funny!    However, I would probably prefer to just rent Freddy --I'm pretty sure there's no way I would want to own it! 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 06 2013 at 12:54am
THE HOST (2013)

Going into "The Host", I was really expecting it to be just as bad as the Twilight Saga. What else happens when you take a Bat Sh*t crazy author's teen romance and combine it with mediocre writing and lack of direction? "The Host" is a very slight improvement over the Twilight Saga, but even then that's not saying much. Let's dive into one of the biggest Box Office Bombs of 2013, "The Host".

Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan) lives in a life where Alien Parasites have taken over Earth and take control of the human species. After she falls to her death, the aliens put in one of their own named Wanderer. However, what they don't know is that both Wanderer and Melanie share the same body. This leads to a Si Fi adventure of boring proportions. Yes, the biggest problem in this film is that it's extremely boring to watch. Nothing that special happens and there's not much adventure going on either. I believe the people behind the scenes are to blame. Writer and Director Andrew Niccol seems to not really care about this movie (who can Blame Him)? This movie at times makes no real sense and the aliens have no real motivation aside from the fact they want peace. Peace from what? What war is going on? Why is there even a war? What do these aliens have against humans? I am only guessing at this point that Andrew Niccol really thought just because the Twilight movies were popular, he wouldn't have to try very hard as long as everyone knew Stephanie Meyer wrote the book. If there is one word to describe this movie it would be... careless. The reason why I said this film was a slight improvement over Twilight was because it did have a good (but recycled) premise. However, the execution was terrible, if there even was one at all.

Also, Saoirse Ronan is a way better actress than Kristen Stewart in a role that is pretty similar. Even though she has horrible material to work with and the character she plays is a blank slate, Ronan really does her best playing technically two characters (even if they're pretty much the same person). I wish I could say the same for the rest of the cast, but they are not as good as Ronan. Just like in "Jack and Jill", the cast looks really bored just being in this movie. There is no life to any of the characters and a lot of them are also blank slates. But the Biggest blank slates in this movie are Edward and Jacob.. oh sorry I mean Ian and Jared. As much as I like Ronan in the role, she has no real chemistry with either of these morons. Whenever one of the boy toys kisses her or shares a scene with her, the chemistry is vey forced and unbelievable. Why is there even a love triangle (or rectangle) in this movie? What purpose does it serve? Oh never mind, like Stephanie Meyer has ever explained herself.

"The Host" may not be the worst movie I've ever seen, but it still was a pain to sit through. The Writing is terrible, the direction is non existent, the story is not very focused and, with the exception Saoirse Ronan, the acting was really awkward not to mention awful. 

I have a feeling this film will be nominated for a few Razzie Awards. 




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