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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Forum member reviews
    Posted: April 14 2014 at 5:10pm
Well, I guess the humans could be seen as the jews and the aliens as the nazis. But that would require a lot of nitpicking.
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 20 2014 at 8:08pm
Time for the oldest movie I've ever reviewed*, Reefer Madness. Reefer Madness shows the dangers of using "marihuana"**. This film so hilariously inept, that only a 9 "Best" things list could do it any justice.

9.) "To show how bad marihuana users should feel, let's tell them how to make it!": One of the first things the film does is show how marihuana is made. If that seems counter-productive, congratulations you're smarter than Louis Gasnier!

8.) The jurist and the noose: During the jury scene, one of the jurors is browbeating one who thinks that Bill is innocent by reason of insanity. A vision of a noose appears in his head, symbolizing that a man's life is hanging in the balance and leading him to side with the doubting juror. Wait I'm sorry, that's what would happen in a normal movie; in this one, he goes back to browbeating him. This makes the noose vision completely useless.

7.) "Marihuana was discovered and put in an incinerator.": There's a brief mention of marihuana being discovered and put into an incinerator. Anyone who knows marihuana knows that the people operating the incinerator are gonna have a fun day at work.

6.) Basic cluelessness about marihuana: The film completely botches what it feels like to be high***. The users in this movies are deranged lunatics. Dolphy Day***** was last week and one of my friends had some hash-brownies. She acted nothing like the characters in this film. Then again, it could be worse: the filmmakers could imply that cigarettes are better than marihuana.

5.) Cigarettes-better than marihuana!: Wait, I'm sorry that's exactly what they do. They don't outright say it, but there's a lot of cigarettes ads in the background. They filmmakers make no effort to condemn these ads. Granted, the dangers of cigarettes hadn't been discovered yet. I mean, it's not like they outright say that heroin's better than marihuana.

4.) Heroin-also better than marihuana!!: Yes, they outright state this. They outright say that marihuana is more dangerous than heroin.

3.) Blanche's suicide: After the lives of her and her friends are ruined by the insidious marihuana, Blanche decides to jump to her death. While midair, she magically transforms into a dummy.

2.) Jimmy runs an old guy over: Why high on the Satanic marihuana, Jimmy is driving around and plows over an old guy. He too turns into a dummy. He's never charged for this crime. What makes this one even more hilarious is that the framing device of the film is a principal telling them about the dangers of marihuana. If he knows about the old guy getting plowed over, why didn't he tell the police?

1.) The piano scene: In what is easily the most hilariously demented scenes in one of the most hilariously demented movies ever, a Jerry Lee Lewis******-like piano player under the abominable of marihuana gives a blistering piano solo. If you've seen this film, you'll remember it until the day you die.

In all seriousness, the film's very similar to gangster movies at the time: it shows scenes of debauchery that normally couldn't be shown under the Hay's Code because they have a "message." The difference between this film and The Roaring Twenties and White Heat? Raoul Walsh wasn't an idiot. Quality grade: D- Entertainment grade: A

Next-up: The Island Of Dr. Moreau ('96 version)!

*In your face Plan 9 From Outer Space!!
**That's how it's spelled in the movie, so that's how I'm spelling it.
***Not that I know from personal experience.****
****I'm serious, I've never done drugs.
*****The day where all Le Moyne students skip classes to get drunk.
******If you've ever seen a video of him playing, the similarity between their styles is uncanny.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vheid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2014 at 4:44am
Why is it still so important for a lot of people to really make clear they never smoked marijuana? Are people still being looked down upon when they do/did so?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2014 at 9:20am
That line was just a little joke considering the film.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2014 at 10:21am
Pretty much. Same with drinking. I mean, people won't laugh at you, but they might feel uncomfortable when they're drinking/smoking and you (in the same room) are not.
Originally posted by Vheid

Why is it still so important for a lot of people to really make clear they never smoked marijuana? Are people still being looked down upon when they do/did so?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2014 at 10:12pm
Remember when I plotted out my review schedule for the summer? Well, I've made a few alterations to the schedule.

1.) Due to The Purge: Anarchy being moved to the same date as Jupiter Ascending, I'm cancelling the review of The Matrix Revolutions.

2.) I added Jumper to coincide with the release of Edge Of Tomorrow (they share a director).

3.) I added Paint Your Wagon to coincide with the release of Jersey Boys.

In addition to all these reviews, I made a list of potential review subjects in the future. Here's some of the films I was thinking of reviewing:

Burn, Hollywood, Burn
Caligula (R-rated version)
Casino Royale 1967
Hudson Hawk
The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (might be a comparison review with the graphic novel)
The Legend Of The Lone Ranger
Myra Breckinridge
Red Dawn 2012
Joseph Goebbels' Titanic
Zardoz
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 21 2014 at 11:11pm
I was going to review The Legend of the Lone Ranger, but I couldn't really find the words to review it. It just seemed like a bland western with the Lone Ranger in it. I must say though Klinton Spilsbury is not a good actor AT ALL.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vheid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2014 at 4:55am
If you can manage to find an English languaged (or subtitled) copy of the film I would really like it if you could review Intensive Care from 1991... It's one of the most hilariously bad films I've ever seen... It opens with George Kennedy as a mad scientist/doctor who decides to mid-operation just stab the organs and walk away when he drives home from the hospital his car drives into a 5 minute explosion-scene (which has explosion on top of explosion) which he somehow survives and leaves him in a coma and deformed (they only had enough money in the budget to hire George Kennedy for a few scenes)... after he awakes from the coma it turns into a strange slasherfilm/teen romance film.... with the story detached far from reality... one of the greatest lines in the movie is when the main character is mortally wounded and his girlfriend asks him "do you need a band aid"?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WECsVqRWgoE
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2014 at 5:45am
Does it make you think that the recent Lone Ranger was not as bad by comparison?

Originally posted by moviecritic1994

I was going to review The Legend of the Lone Ranger, but I couldn't really find the words to review it. It just seemed like a bland western with the Lone Ranger in it. I must say though Klinton Spilsbury is not a good actor AT ALL.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2014 at 8:30am
If I find a copy of Intensive Care, I'll see if I can review it.

Also, I found another movie to add to the potential review list: Kim Jong-Il's Pulgasri. It's on YouTube.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2014 at 9:20am
I don't want to sound greedy, but isn't there a way for you to review them all? I mean, you can take as much time as you want between them.
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

In addition to all these reviews, I made a list of potential review subjects in the future. Here's some of the films I was thinking of reviewing:

Burn, Hollywood, Burn
Caligula (R-rated version)
Casino Royale 1967
Hudson Hawk
The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (might be a comparison review with the graphic novel)
The Legend Of The Lone Ranger
Myra Breckinridge
Red Dawn 2012
Joseph Goebbels' Titanic
Zardoz

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 22 2014 at 10:32pm
The Legend of Lone Ranger was mercifully short and really it's biggest crime was that the film was just boring. The Lone Ranger (2013) was a bloated, boring, poorly acted and an awfully directed mess. So I would say the newest Lone Ranger film is a worse waste of time.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 24 2014 at 12:41pm
MAC AND ME (1988)



That.. felt... like... an eternity. I hope you are all grateful for what I do for you my fellow Razzie members. After watching "Mac and Me", I consider this movie one of the worst films I've ever seen. God... you know what? Let's not waste any time. let's look at this turd of a film.

Some alien escapes from some planet and encounters some kid. Really that's it. I really wish I could give you a better description but really there's not much to this film. "Mac and Me" is basically a rip off of "E.T" with a huge commercial devoted to McDonalds. So I guess "Jack and Jill" isn't the first movie with commercial breaks in it.

I have to mention the acting. Oh man, no one in this can act AT ALL. It really doesn't matter how big or small a role is no one in the cast knows how to emote or deliver these lines properly. Even the aliens show no emotion and they're robot puppet things! Oh yeah the aliens are hideous in this movie. Mac and his alien family look as if someone threw up and the vomit came to life as aliens. Please don't make me talk about these stupid things anymore!

The biggest issue I have with this movie is the fact that there really is no emotion or care when it comes to this story. That's what makes "Mac and Me" such a lackluster "E.T" Rip off. Throughout the entire movie I could care less about any of these aliens or humans in this movie because the script doesn't care either. And really... that's all I have to say about this movie. The writing is dreadful, the acting is a complete joke and there is no care, emotion or effort put into this plot or any of these characters. However, I do feel like having a Big Mac now.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2014 at 6:42am
OVER THE TOP (1987)



It's very hard to describe Over The Top simply because the title pretty much says what the movie is. Everything in this film whether it be the acting, the story or the characters are so Over The Top. Yeah there are times when the movie is unintentionally hilarious, but then there are times when I can't understand why or how these people even exist. Well I guess we better get started, this is "Over the Top".

Lincoln Hawk (Sylvester Stallone) is a truck driver who has reunited with his son Michael (David Mendenhall) after being an absentee dad for 12 years. Through some father and son bonding, they seem to really hit off. But Michael's grandfather doesn't want Lincoln around because he's a dead beat dad. Somehow, this leads into an arm wrestling tournament... yeah see where this move gets stupid? And really that's the main problem with Over The Top, the suspension of disbelief gets stretched far more than any type of imagination could. Lincoln actually teaches his kid how to dirve a car and he's only 12 years old. And the mother who is in bed dying is totally okay with this too. How is this possible? Is everyone just crazy in this film?

I must also point out the worst actor in this entire movie is David Mendenhall. Wow, this kid can't act to save his life. No emotion is there, no line had any validity in it at all. I totally understand why he won the Razzie for Worst New Star in this film. But to the kid's very little credit, I must say nobody can act in this movie anyway. Sylvester Stallone for the most part pretty much just sleepwalks through the entire film while everyone else either tries too hard or doesn't try hard enough.

Then again, there are moments when there was some unintentional laughs from Over The Top. I can't really remember any funny lines or anything like that, but it's pretty ridiculous that the fate of a kid's custody battle relies on an Arm Wrestling match. In fact, I had no idea that type of tournament even existed. Apparently, you have to wear your backwards in order to win at arm wrestling too. I... I have no words.

Over The Top is undeniably one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. The acting is "over the top" (forgive the pun), the story is ridiculous and again the arm wrestling matches are just.. weird! However, I will say there is some good funny moments in the film that could be enjoyed. Even though it's highly unlikely I'll ever watch this movie again, I'm sure people will find some enjoyment from this movie. As for me, it's just way "Over The Top. Sorry, I know that joke is an antique.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2014 at 9:11am
Over The Top is one of those films that have a mundane-seeming plot but, in execution, are completely f*cking insane. It sounds like a normal father-son bonding movie, but several completely inexplicable surreal moments (i.e. turning your cap backwards turns you into Popeye) pop up. These types of films were common during the '80s. See also Rocky IV (seemingly a normal boxing movie, but there's robot wives and Rocky wins the Cold War) and Roadhouse (seemingly a standard sh*t-kicker, but it rivals Donnie Darko in insanity; a man getting his throat ripped-out is one of the less insane moments).
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2014 at 11:52am
I was looking through Netflix titles and found "Last Action Hero" -- I might review that film later on. Also, all of the Rocky movies are there, so I might review IV and V. I'll add my Upcoming Reviews list soon.
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