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    Posted: August 08 2014 at 6:25pm
If you're talking about the play, then yes, you should've watched it first. But the movie was made after THE PIRATE MOVIE.
Originally posted by moviecritic1994

I must point out I have not seen "The Pirates of Penzance". So I can't make much of a comparison between the two musicals here.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2014 at 9:13pm
I'll probably watch it later (my schedule is haywire due to schooling). However, I'm going to watch and review "9/12 Weeks" next.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 09 2014 at 12:14pm
1) I thought you needed to watch a movie before deciding whether you'd review it or not.
2) Will you watch the 2 sequels?

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 09 2014 at 9:27pm
Every Case is different. I wouldn't be able to properly review something like Frozen, Les Miserables or Alice in Wonderland because I would just praise the movies over and over again. No movie is perfect, but for me it would be hard to find any real fault with those particular titles.

Honestly, I won't review sequels unless they make some kind of impact in a good or bad way. I didn't even know 9 1/2 Weeks had sequels
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2014 at 10:24pm
9 1/2 WEEKS (1986)



Honestly, I had no idea what to expect from 9 1/2 Weeks. I know it was nominated for 3 Razzies. Aside from that, I had no idea what this movie had. The conclusion... 9 1/2 weeks is not only boring but an empty shell of a movie. It's one of the movies that only focuses on one plot component and nothing else about it is ever explored. The story is boring, the characters are boring and the film even has a boring soundtrack.

Elizabeth (Kim Basinger) meets lawyer John (Mickey Rourke) who share a steamy connection. This leads to a relationship of ups and downs along with lots of four play and sex scenes that get old really quickly. Firstly, I still have no idea what the point of this movie is. I'm guessing it's trying to be sort of like "Love Story" where they're just showing drama as it comes naturally in life. However this movie doesn't know how to do that. You need to have interesting characters in order to pull that kind of thing off. Elizabeth, John and every other character are just tools to a plot that make no real sense. Every other scene feels like filler until the next sex scene comes up.

The acting for the most part is just okay. Mickey Rourke plays a confusing and terribly written role well. Kim Basinger on the other hand is a different story. I mean her acting isn't outright awful but it's very... sporadic. Whenever her character is required to feel something, she usually goes to a major extreme of the required emotion. She's either really quiet and vacant or really, really loud. It's just very distracting. Maybe if her performance was consistent, I would give her a pass.

What really bothers me about 9 1/2 Weeks is the fact that the sexual nature of the story is the only driving the movie. This is a huge pet peeve for me because Sex can only take you so far in a film. There has to be something else about the story and the characters that the audience cares about. We don't know much about our main character aside from Elizabeth is a divorced Gallery owner while John is just a freaky weirdo. Everything revolves around their sexual relationship and I can care less about that. The film really is just a boring, empty film with some sex scenes to show how hot Basinger and Rourke are.

9 1/2 Weeks isn't by any means among the Worst Movies I've ever seen. I would watch this movie than Gigli again. At the same time, this movie is a boring affair for the eyes. The characters are one dimensional, the story is not that interesting, the music is a real snore and even our main stars look a little awkward when doing their sexual scenes. 9 1/2 Weeks is just a boring flick.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 17 2014 at 8:48am
THE LEGO MOVIE (2014)



It's going to be hard to review this movie based on the fact that it's almost a flawless film. The Lego Movie has comedy, heart, great characters, beautiful animation and a great voice cast. It's just a great movie and it's strange because I was one of those people convinced that this movie was going to fail. With a lot of bad movies that came out this year, Lego Movie was a great breath of fresh air.

Emmett (Chris Pratt) is a regular Lego figure who pretty much is like every other Lego. So much so, he feels left out a lot and has no real friends. Then he is mistakenly gets identified as the key to saving the world. With the help of "Wild Style" (Elizabeth Banks) and Batman (Will Arnett) they will take down the Lego Tyrant President Business (Will Ferrell). One of the greatest things about this movie is the fact that the jokes, side characters and cameos don't feel forced. Practically every joke in this movie works and gets a laugh every time. For instance, Batman in this movie is pretty much a Dick. But you know what? It's funny a lot of the time. It never comes off lame or insulting to the Batman Character.

It's hard to say which character I love the best, Emmett or President Business. Both are very great and colorful characters that are not only funny, but are thoughtful and heart felt characters too. Chris Pratt gives Emmett both great comedic deliveries and great humanity to a plastic talking toy. I mainly love President Business because of Will Ferrell's Performance and a big twist toward the end of the film surrounding the character.

The only real Nitpick I have with this movie is the fact that the Animation can be a little too fast paced. Don't get me wrong, this probably the best animation I've ever seen but there are times when I do feel the film can slow down a bit. There were some scenes where I did ask myself "What just happened"? But like I said, it's a nitpick issue.

This might be the best movie of the year, it really is the great. The Lego Movie really can be enjoyed by both children and adults. It has great writing, great characters, great voice acting, beautifully animated environments, a wonderful voice cast and most importantly heart. Just check it out if you haven't already. I now only have this to say... EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 17 2014 at 11:11pm
Unikitty is my fav from the movie. If she was real, I would marry her.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 18 2014 at 1:02am
Aww yeah unikitty was funny too
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 20 2014 at 1:23pm
SPICE WORLD (1998)



I'm just... speechless. Where the hell did this movie come from? Why were these five morons given a movie anyway? There is literally no plot, rhyme or reason to Spice World. It's a painful experience from Beginning to End. I would've been a little bit more easier on this movie if it was just a direct to Home Video release but no, this waste of time actually got into theaters. This is going be a hard review to write.

So Spice World is about... oh screw it, THERE IS NO PLOT! Seriously, there's not even one shred of story in this awful excuse of a film. Every scene is just random and all the characters (especially The Spice Girls) are as flat as a freaking board. To put it simply, this movie is just an hour and 32 minute commercial for The Spice Girls. And when I say every scene is random, I mean it! There are Aliens, a Dance Boot Camp, A Pregnant friend, A Documentary subplot, a villainous Paparazzi guy, Roger Moore and lots of other elements that make no real sense and have no proper place in the film.

Of course, the acting is just awful. It doesn't matter if we're talking about the supporting characters or The Spice Girls themselves. No person in the cast even tries to give a decent performance let alone a good one. Still The Spice Girls take the cake on the whole "Can't Act" scale. Every time one or more of them opened their mouths I was in serious misery. They are just... IRRITATING!

I know what a lot of you are thinking, "Oh Brad, what were you expecting? It's a movie about The Spice Girls. This film was directed at Children and Pre-Teens". That is extreme Bull. I don't care what the aimed Demographic is, I don't care who stars in the movie or what the film's purpose is. You're still making a MOVIE! The whole Purpose of a movie is to ENTERTAIN PEOPLE! Spice World has caused nothing but pain to me. Your movie doesn't have to be a reflective or deep movie but at the very least it should be given some kind of thought and it should have some kind of effort put into it. There is no passion or effort in Spice World.

And you know what? I don't have anything else to say about this movie. Yeah this might be the shortest review I've ever written, but I don't care to be honest. Spice World is just... STUPID. It has stupid writing, a stupid execution and a really stupid idea. I even hesitate to call Spice World a movie because it's just a really commercial and addition to a singing group that nobody remembers.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 01 2014 at 5:21pm
NORTH (1994)



After watching North, I only have one question... What is the point of this movie? I seriously have no idea what purpose this movie has or who it was made for. This is "suppose" to be a Family Comedy. Okay... but where's the comedy? Along with that, how can any family enjoy this worthless piece of cinema? I totally agree with the late Roger Ebert: "I hated this movie, HATED IT"! Let's examine this weird movie known as "North".

North (Elijah Wood) is a kid who is very obedient, polite and very "smart". However this prodigy kid is not appreciated by his parent (Jason Alexander and Julia Louis Dreyfuss) so he divorces them both. North then sets out on a journey to find a new set of parents around the globe. Sounds harmless right? Well you would be very surprised. Let's discuss the comedy first. NONE OF THE JOKES WORK! In fact, a lot of the jokes in North sound more bizarre and scary than funny. It's almost like this movie is filled with people who should be put into Mental Wards or something. The film also has a lot of racist stereotypes that pretty much the butt of the many jokes in this picture. It's actually quite disturbing and offensive. Honestly, it felt like I was watching Movie 43 again. The worst of these stereotypes involves Kathy Bates in awful Eskimo make up.

Another jarring thing about North is how many reputable actors and actresses there are in this movie. Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Kathy Bates, John Ritter and Bruce Willis. Let's not forget this bit: they all give terrible performances. Granted, they have a terrible script filled with jokes that make no sense but really? I guess the only person that came close to giving a good performance was the late John Ritter. Also it's hard to really pick on Elijah Wood considering the fact that he plays a really bad role very well. North the character is simply the most narcissistic and dim witted kid I've seen on film. And you know what? That's saying a lot! This kid is supposed to be a brilliant and intelligent boy. But he's not!
He's judgmental, he's self centered and by the time the film ends you wonder if North himself is clinically insane.

I've been racking my brain to answer one simple question: what is the worst thing about a movie that is filled with such horrendous things anyway? Well North is missing one thing: Heart. There is no emotional connection or any real family bonding in this movie. A lot of the families North visits are pretty much tools to really offensive jokes while we hardly spend any time with North's real family. In fact, his parents comatose for more than half the movie. No situation or person in this movie seems real.

I still have no idea why this movie was made or what the purpose of the film actually is. It's just a very confusing and offensive film. It has bad acting, bad writing, terrible direction from Rob Reiner, offensive jokes and of course jokes that sound bizarre instead of funny. I just have one question for Mr. Reiner: What were you thinking Meat Head? (if you know where that line is from, 10 bonus points).
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