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Future Possible Worst Films of 2007

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RoadDogXVIII View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Future Possible Worst Films of 2007
    Posted: June 12 2007 at 4:40am
Addicted
I got a bad feeling about this one. Sarah Michelle Gellar has starred in some recent crap films, including Happily N'Ever After. This new film looks like it belong on the Lifetime Movie Network.

Alien Vs Predator 2
I wasn't too thrilled with the first AVP. So don't expect me to be in a seat for this future bomb. Another film from some music video vets.  

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Even if Jason Lee is involved, as well as Ross Bagdasarian Jr. (who voices Alvin and Simon), Tim Hill made Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, so don't expect a winner from this one. And I used to like the Chipmunks.

Balls of Fury

No offense to the comic talents involved (Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant are from the world of Reno 911), but this film's been delayed on too many times. That many delays may mean that this possible sleeper could put everyone to sleep.

Bratz
Chick flick + Sean McNamera + unknown actresses + Jon Voight = do I need to answer this one?

The Eye
Guess what? Another Japanese horror film crosses the state. Originally slated to star Renee Zellweggar, Jessica Alba takes the lead role. I do have a soft spot for Alba (she did an exceptional job on an episode of MadTV playing Jessica Simpson), but her movies (except for Sin City) are pretty much demeaning of her talent. With this, expect awful acting, cheap PG-13 scares, and tedium abound.

Daddy Day Camp
The good news is that Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin have moved on to greener pastures. The bad news is that now Cuba Gooding Jr. has to follow in Murphy's footsteps, and the trailer looks terrible beyond all belief.

El Canante
Gigli part deux. Now with Marc Anthony.

The Game Plan
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? Oh, it's a stinker. While Andy Fickman did an okay job with Amanda Bynes' She's the Man, it looks like he's gonna follow in Shawn Levy and Adam Shankman's recipe for the worst family film made.

Hitman
It's a little early to bash this film, since there's some decent actors in there (Timothy Olyphant and Dougray Scott). But considering the director was involved in Double Team back in '97, I have a fear that it could bomb.

The Martian Child
Yet another mawkish family drama on the way. The trailer is scored to that godawful Vanessa Carlton song, which almost made me run for the hills. Forget it!

Mr. Woodcock
David Dobkin should never have walked away from this project. Now Craig Gillespie's gonna squeeze out all of Billy Bob Thornton's talents, and make Seann William Scott look like a fool. And the film's been the target of many, many delays.

Nancy Drew
Simply put, another crappy chick flick. This one's based on a classic novel.

Postal
Uwe Boll's back. This time, Dr. Boll is imagining himself as a satirist. Word's abound that he's going to make fun of September 11 and the people who lost love ones on that day. Add to the insult that Kids in the Hall alum Dave Foley is in it, and we may have another potential Razzie nominated film for the man who challenged those who hated his films to a boxing match. Boy, what an ego!

Saw IV
More bloody torture to make us vomit.

Underdog
Amy Adams, Peter Dinklage, Brad Garrett, Jason Lee, Patrick Warburton... what could possible go wrong? Well, it's a remake of a classic TV show (now with obligatory family film preaching), and the director did Racing Stripes.

Who's Your Caddy
Look out, it's another comedy with stereotypes and slumming character actors (Jeffrey Jones). Even if OutKast's Big Boi is in it, couldn't he find a movie that wouldn't even cut as an original movie on BET?

Why Did I Get Married?
Guess what? Tyler Perry is back. With the likable Janet Jackson hornswaggled into the mess. Expect mean and nasty villains, soap opera-type acting, exploitation of serious issues, and god-awful CW-type comedy.
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tomsmobr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote tomsmobr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 12 2007 at 11:34am

Here are a couple more potential Razzie contenders I would add to The 2007 list.

Live Free or Die Hard 

Captivity 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote bruin_522 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2007 at 4:32pm

Next week, I think Head RAZZ should pick one of these three films to be the Worst New Movie of the Weak: 1408, Evan Almighty, or You Kill Me.

Plot for 1408: Based on the short Stephen King horror story of the same name, 1408 surrounds supernatural writer Mike Enslin, an author of two hit books focusing on supernatural phenomena. As research for his latest book, Enslin is determined to check out the notorious room 1408 in a New York City hotel by personally staying as a guest in the fabled room. With the intention that 1408 is just a myth perpetuated by stories and rumor that Enslin has collected for his past works. However, hotel manager Mr. Olin has strong objections to Enslin's stay and only warns him of possible danger to come. But Enslin is determined to go through and convinced that the horrific past of 1408 is just mere coincidence and a myth. But what Mike Enslin is about to experience is no myth, as 1408 truly is a room where the guests don't check out by noon.

Plot for Evan Almighty: The last time we saw Evan Baxter (Steve Carell), he was being tormented by rival Bruce Nolan onscreen, live from their Buffalo TV station. But as time passed and Evan has made up with Bruce, he's gone onto bigger and better things. Newly elected to Washington D.C. as a congressman, Evan has left Buffalo, New York in pursuit of a greater calling. But that calling isn't serving in the illustrious ranks of America's politics, but being summoned by the Almighty himself (Morgan Freeman), who has handed Evan the task of building a new ark, much as Noah did before. With time passing by and his family belittled by Evan's newfound realization, Evan will have to do the work that God has given him in what promises to be an unusual adventure for a man who just wanted to serve his country, might actually be serving humanity.

Plot for You Kill Me: Frank Falenczyk (Ben Kingsley) loves his job. He just happens to be the hit-man for his Polish mob family in Buffalo, New York. But Frank’s got a drinking problem and when he messes up a critical assignment that puts the family business in peril, his uncle (Philip Baker Hall) sends him to San Francisco to clean up his act. Frank is not a touchy-feely kind of guy, but he starts going to AA meetings, gets a sponsor (Luke Wilson) and a job at a mortuary where he falls for the tart-tongued Laurel (Téa Leoni), a woman who is dangerously devoid of boundaries. Meanwhile, things aren’t going well in Buffalo where an upstart Irish gang is threatening the family business. When violence erupts, Frank is forced to return home and with an unlikely assist from Laurel, faces old rivals on new terms.

I'll let the Head RAZZ take some time thinking about this, but I'm sure he knows which one he has in mind on which will be the Worst New Movie of the Weak for June 22.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 3:02am
I don't know about the new Die Hard film. That looks too cool to be a bad film. Given, Len Wiseman did Underworld Evolution, which I heard was a bad movie. But this might be Wiseman going back to letting loose. Though what do I hear about a PG-13 rating?! Otherwise, it should still kick ass. Trust me...

For Captivity, that's probably gonna be another forgettable torture porn horror movie (what ever happened to good-old-fashioned horror thrillers?).
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Post Options Post Options   Quote tomsmobr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 3:05am

I guess I just thought The Trailer looked dumb.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 3:16am
Originally posted by bruin_522

I'll let the Head RAZZ take some time thinking about this, but I'm sure he knows which one he has in mind to be the Worst New Movie of the Weak for June 22.


That's gonna be a tough one. You may want to scratch out You Kill Me, because I'm hearing some good words about this film (six good reviews at RottenTomatoes here) Oh, and it's coming out June 27.

Evan Almighty has a glimmer of promise. Steve Carrell is sitting on top of the world, and has a couple of funny scenes in the film, especially with Morgan Freeman. We'll have to wait, though.

1408? According to WorstPreviews, "Some of the complaints from early screenings revolve around lack of story, claiming that the entire movie is just Cusack's character in a room. This is why we get a dead daughter, the room filling with water and Enslin seeing himself in the adjacent building, as was shown in the trailer."
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 3:25am

Speaking of Uwe Boll, he's completed four films this year, and I can't find any of them scheduled for a 2007 release. 

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is scheduled for January 2008.

IMDb lists 28 Sep 2007 as the release date for Postal, but Box Office Mojo has yet to list it.

IMDb lists 25 Jan 2008 as the release date for Seed, but Box Office Mojo has yet to list it.

IMDb lists Nov 2007 as for when BloodRayne II will be released, but Box Office Mojo has yet to list it.

There's all these Boll films available, but if they don't get into theatres this year, we won't be able to Razz him again 'till next year! 

Response from Head RAZZberry: Given that the first BLOODRAYNE was not only a Worst Picture nominee but also a financial fiasco  ( LINK ) I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for BR2 to get a theatrical release stateside. A typical Uwe production has a budget well over $25 million, and with Boll's overall box office track record ( LINK ) it should only be a matter of time before his so-called "career" is over. Not to worry, though -- If TRANSFORMERS does the bang-up business the industry now expects it will, we can alwaze keep ourselves busy Razzing "The American Uwe Boll," Michael Bay... 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 11:23am
Here's a LINK to check out the first promo for BLOODRAYNE: DELIVERANCE (aka BLOODRAYNE II). Without even the Worst Actress-nominated Kristanna Loken willing to return, it has none of the first film's cast, but does feature plenty o' blood 'n' gutz, incoherently edited action sequences and "cowboys" with Romanian-sounding accents. If it ever does get theatrical release, it sure looks like it'd be a Prime RAZZIE Contender...
Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2007 at 1:54pm
Originally posted by cvcjr13

If TRANSFORMERS does the bang-up business the industry now expects it will, we can alwaze keep ourselves busy Razzing "The American Uwe Boll," Michael Bay... 

Hey!  Why pick on Michael Bay?!  I mean, I like The Rock and. . . well, I like The Rock, and. . . errr. . . hmmm. . . did I say I like The Rock? . . .

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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2007 at 1:55am

Getting back to Uwe Boll, normally I'd agree with you, HeadRAZZ.  I was looking at the Box Office Mojo figures, and in a town where you're only as good as your last hit, Hollywood should be tired of Boll by now.  However, not only has he filmed four movies this year, but he's slated for three more next year, including a sequel to Alone in the Dark.  At $25 million a pop, that's $175 million dropped on Boll pictures made this year and next year, and the total is probably higher than that.  He must have some benefactors that Edward D. Wood, Jr. could only have dreamed of.

On the other hand, if Wood had benefactors like that, he probably would have destroyed his liver a lot earlier than he did. . . .

Theatres aren't so forgiving, though.  I imagine at best we'll have sneak runs like we did with Chevy Chase's Funny Money.  If that's the case, we'll all have to keep our eyes on the release schedules.  It's hard to say what's going on with Boll's pictures, though.  It doesn't make sense.

Response from Head RAZZberry: Which is in perfect keeping with the tone of Uwe's movies -- None of them make any sense, either!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Movie Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 27 2007 at 4:14am
I heard "BloodRayne II" is going to be released straight-to-video, so that's out.
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