Gerard Butler, Rom/Com Killer...

 

 

And I don't mind spoiling the spoiled. . . .

 

But let's go over this.  What is good about it?  Well, Adam Rose was good in it as Jimmy, the snooping bartender who was kidnapped early on in the movie.  He was about the only actor who was able to take the dreck of a screenplay and make his part work.  And hearing a Frank Sinatra song over a dull, boring part always helps take away part of the pain, although I have to wince having Sinatra's music in any way associated with this.

 

And that's about it for the good stuff.

 

As for the bad stuff, my problem is where to start.  I should probably restate the fact that I failed to laugh once in this so-called com, and I should also emphasize that my heartstrings failed to be strummed in this rom. 

 

And you know what's worse?  It starts off with the dreaded flashback.  Why did they put that flashback at the beginning of the movie?  Why did they even think watching Gerard Butler drive a car full of roadside flare smoke down a highway, open the trunk, get punched in the balls by Jennifer Anniston, and then watch them run down the highway until Butler tackles Anniston. . . why is any of that funny?

 

Stewart.  Jason Sudeikis' Stewart.  Fake mustache.  Fake personality.  Fake acting.  Talk about suspending the disbelief of an audience, my disbelief hits an air pocket every time Stewart appears.  Is Sudeikis on the ballot?  No, and when compared to Anthony Hopkins sleepwalking through The Wolfman. . . well Hopkins is still better, but it was so beneath him.  This is apparently all we got from Sudeikis in this movie, and the director Andy Tennant was fine with that.  Shows how much Tennant thought of this movie.

 

Kitty.  The mother-in-law who has the hots for her son-in-law, with that scary looking billboard that should warn everyone to stay away from her show.  Christine Baranski can do better than this.  Okay, she did do Legal Eagles and Addams Family Values, but she does have the talent to do better.  Not this.

 

Theresa.  Another horrible character, this one played by Siobhan Fallon, who also unfortunately has a role in Fred: The Movie (no! no! no! no! no! no! no! . . .). 

 

Cupid's Cabin.  The wife and husband owners.  That was so awful they weren't funny at all.

 

And all the unfunny bits.  A ten second head start?  Running around in high heels?  Sneaking around in high heels on a concrete floor?  Throwing your ex-wife con in the car trunk?  Having a lucky letter (how about "F"?)?  Tempting him with his gambling addiction?  Blowing on his dice to give him luck (sounds better than it looks. . .)?  Winding up on top of him while trying to get his gun?  Using a touring bike as a getaway vehicle?  Oh, how about a driving range where the golfers swing one after another in perfect time just as the stupid bounty hunter runs by?  And how about boxes of evidence marked "Gotti"? 

 

The funniest thing in the movie?  There's two. 

 

First, watching Gerard Butler and Jennifer Anniston philosophize about life and death during dinner at Cupid's Cabin.  What do they call all those facial expressions and gestures that have nothing to do with what they're talking about?  It was neither comic or romantic. 

 

Second was the only false line Adam Rose gave in the whole movie.  "Is that against the law?"  The joke wasn't funny.  The fact that the screenwriter thought the joke was funny was funny.

 

I still didn't laugh.  Not even at how bad this film was.

 

I was disappointed.  Here is yet another premise where the screenwriter and director failed to deliver on its potential. 

 

I gave it a generous three stars out of ten.  Not the worst, but that's not saying much.

 

Razzie noms:  Gerard Butler and Jennifer Anniston for worst screen couple (no chemistry at all), Adam Tennant for worst director, worst screenplay, Christine Baranski for worst supporting actress, and I wish Jason Sudeikis was on the ballot for worst supporting actor (but I'd still vote for Anthony Hopkins).