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HORRORS! Another Blood-n-Gutz Remake?!?!?

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: HORRORS! Another Blood-n-Gutz Remake?!?!?
    Posted: August 29 2007 at 1:13pm

THE ORGINAL HALLOWEEN WAS ONE of the BEST and MOST FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL HORROR MOVIES of the 1970s (SO SUCCESSFUL, in FACT, THAT IT SPAWNED a SERIES of SEVEN(!) PROGESSIVELY LESS IMPRESSIVE SEQUELS).

THIS REMAKE PROMISED to "RE-IMAGINE" the SOURCE MATERIAL, and IN DOING SO, HAS TURNED IT INTO...JUST ANOTHER OVERLY GRAPHIC, SPLATTER-FILLED GOREFEST, WHOSE ONLY DIS-STINK-TION IS THAT IT's the 17th MOVIE to QUALIFY for OUR SPECIAL 2007 RAZZIE® CATEGORY WORST EXCUSE for a HORROR MOVIE...

CAN YOU IDENTIFY WHICH of THESE 3 PEOPLE:

A) Directed a typically graphic, unimpressive remake of a nearly 30-year-old horror classic...

B) Plays a character whose name is the same as the actor who voices SHREK... 

C) Apparently buys his t-shirts in the 79-cents bin at his local Goodwill store... 

D) Would likely respond to public restroom overtures from Senator Larry Craig with a well-aimed kitchen-knife... 

 

P.S. Like we also asked about SEPTEMBER DAWN (inexlicably released near the end of August): Why wouldn't you release something entitled HALLOWEEN in, I don't know...OCTOBER?!?!?!? 

 

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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moviewizguy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2007 at 2:09pm

I hated H20, but I loved The Devil's Rejects. So I think this will be good... 

 

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bruin_522 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bruin_522 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2007 at 2:16pm

If they were to give this movie a theatrical release in October, shouldn't they have released this on October 31, which is of course HALLOWEEN? Not to mention HALLOWEEN is on a Wednesday, and there are some movies that are released on a Wednesday.

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saturnwatcher View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2007 at 5:50pm
It's not bad enough that Hollywood has decided that the easiest and safest way to make money is to continue to make the same movies over and over, and just change the title. But Rob Zombie isn't even clever enough to do that. He is just creating what will most likely be almost a frame by frame remake of a movie NOBODY wants to see again. Couldn't he at least have hired Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton to get hacked up? As long as we have already seen it before anyway, why not?
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Criss808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2007 at 5:58pm
I really hope that this horror movie remake is good. Zombie's last flick "The Devil's Rejects" was pretty impressive. But with all the recent awful horror movie remakes that have come out, I can see why people aren't really looking forward to this. Besides, "Halloween" is one of the scariest movies of all-time. How could anyone possibly top the original?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2007 at 4:47am

Originally posted by Criss808

Besides, "Halloween" is one of the scariest movies of all-time. How could anyone possibly top the original?

That is really the point exactly. Assuming that you have never seen either version, and admittedly, none of us have seen the remake yet, and you had to bet on who would make a better film, John Carpenter or Rob Zombie, where would you bet the rent?

Anyone can take a Shakespeare play, toss in a new joke or two and try to pass themselves off as a great talent. But it's all just smoke and mirrors and at the end of the day, it's still taking us all where we've been before. Okay, Zombie. If you want to impress me, try something original. At this point, that would impress everyone.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Berrynoia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2007 at 8:24am
Originally posted by bruin_522

If they were to give this movie a theatrical release in October, shouldn't they have released this on October 31, which is of course HALLOWEEN? Not to mention HALLOWEEN is on a Wednesday, and there are some movies that are released on a Wednesday.

Well, it's still August.  Not even September.  When the date is off by that much, you know you have a steaming turd.

Did Rob Zombie choose 8/31 as a release date?  Or was he trying to get it on 10/31, and received rejections because of the obvious crappiness of this movie?

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Post Options Post Options   Quote wetbandit82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2007 at 12:44pm

Originally posted by saturnwatcher

. Couldn't he at least have hired Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton to get hacked up? As long as we have already seen it before anyway, why not?
  

 

How about if he got Hugo Chavez to do it...in drag?  No small loss there. 

 

Usually I'm not that much into horror, not least of all given its heavy repetitivemess, but I really have a soft spot for Carpenter's original.  It doesn't take the audience for granted like other films in the genre do and thinks everything out.  Donald Pleasance's "I met this six year old boy..." soliloquy remains a strong piece that can stay with you.  Sadly, this version just looks flat.  That they're going to try and explain things that we've already deduced long ago are better off unexplained doesn't help their cause either. 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2007 at 6:16pm
Originally posted by wetbandit82

 That they're going to try and explain things that we've already deduced long ago are better off unexplained doesn't help their cause either. 

YES YES YES EXACTLY! Another dead on the nose point. The absolute worst aspect of Arthur C. Clarke's sequel novel 2010: Odyssey 2 and the subsequent movie was precisely the fact that he attempted to answer a slew of questions that none of us wanted answered. It was part of the charm and mystery of the original.

I think you are exactly correct. Half of this movie is probably going to be a laborious blabfest attempting to explain the story to us, rather than telling it. Forget it.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2007 at 6:36pm
If only they got Lindsay Lohan to do the Jamie Lee Curtis role...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2007 at 6:05am
It's early yet, but the critics appear to be coming down on our side. This movie is presently at 21% at RT, and could easily slip below 20%. Evidently, my earlier suggestion that this film could largely deteriorate into a blabfest is on the money, based upon some of the reviews.
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2007 at 2:43pm

The only thing I hope for, is that Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif give performances that are at least "Ok".

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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2007 at 3:02pm
Is there some conspiracy out there to remake classic John Carpenter movies into crappy movies? I hear they're going to remake Escape from New York, directed by... Len Wiseman. With Underworld and Van Helsing under his belt this is destined to bomb.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 31 2007 at 3:26pm
If they remake Vampires without James Woods, I'll lose all hope.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Criss808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 01 2007 at 8:31am
How many times are these people gonna kill off these slashers and then revive them for about 500 more sequels, remakes, or prequels? Who cares? They aren't good anymore. Halloween. Nightmare on Elm Street. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Why try to duplicate the originals when they were already good. At this point, people have become tired of seeing the same killer slice and dice their way through another crappy movie. There isn't any thrills or scares in horror movies these days. It's mostly for the money and not for the art of it all which is to scare the mess outta people. I haven't seen Rob Zombie's Halloween but hopefully I will today. I just wish there were more original and creative horror movies out there that aren't just trying to pull the strings and go by routine. It gets really boring.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 01 2007 at 8:47am
I will say the only thing I liked about the TCM remakes was the almost always awesome R. Lee Ermy as Sheriff Hoyt. I still like the Elm Street films, because Robert Englund always gives an enjoyable performance as Freddy Kruegger. As far as recent horror films go, Tobin Bell is always good and menacing as Jigsaw.
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