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How LOW Can Your Libido Go??

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Michaels View Drop Down
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    Posted: March 20 2009 at 2:18pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley


I think the market materialized in human form, watched that movie, and slit its wrists.

There's an Ed Wood movie in there somewhere. But then again, didn't the stock market really begin to tank around August of last year? I think in that case, "Disaster Movie" is to blame. Any excuse to bad mouth that flick.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2009 at 4:58pm
Paul Blart must be some sort of demon seed spewed from the ashes of DM.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2009 at 12:42am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Paul Blart must be some sort of demon seed spewed from the ashes of DM.
You are giving too much credit to Paul Blart... I think calling him a Demon seed is a little too much.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2009 at 1:32am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

You are giving too much credit to Paul Blart... I think calling him a Demon seed is a little too much.

I wouldn't call him a demon seed, but I would call him the evil off-spring of Adam Sandler, seeing as how he produced the movie.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2009 at 3:21am
The man has been in the top 10 for 10 weeks now. He's not a demon seed, he's the actual devil. And Kevin James has been around for a loooong time, he had a career pre-Sandler. Now, Sandler may have had a hand in making Blart, but it's a PG movie, and James is MUCH more clean than Sandler. Sorry, I gotta go with Paul Blart is the devil. I'm sure if this were an episode of the Simpsons, Lisa would be able to find some way to make Paul Blart into an anagram for Beelzebub.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2009 at 8:04am

Gee, I would think for sure Seltzerberg or Uwe Boll would be Demon seeds. Seltzerberg seems very close to being an angram for Beelzebub.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2009 at 9:33am
Let me see here... Seltzerberg+Uwe Boll+Paul Blart.... Rearrange the letters... Substitute for numeric values... Carry the seven... Oh no! This is a list of every major disaster for the last 20 years in order!

Wait...no... My bad, no that would just be a bad Nic Cage movie idea...

Beezlebub got raper warts lull.... That just makes no sense... (actual anagram of the three names above...)

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 22 2009 at 2:45am
THE ANSWER IF YOU ADD SOME OF THEM TOGETHER AND THEN SUBTRACT SOME OF THE OTHERS IS 23!!! PROBABLY!!!!

By the way, I'd just like to say that one of the critics I enjoy, Movie Preview Critic, actually liked Miss March. This might end up making it into my cheap theater viewing after all.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 22 2009 at 3:07am
I can't stand the cheap theaters... Probably because the one near me always smells like pee. So hard to enjoy a moive when you have to wonder where the pee smell is coming from... 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote wetbandit82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 28 2009 at 7:00am

I'd have to respectfully disagree with your assessment of Blart, dEd; I personally enjoyed it a lot when I saw it in the theater.  Sure, they didn't quite go as far with some jokes as they could have, and sure the villains were rather bland (although it is an encouraging sign that Hollywood can actually admit that the angry young slacker type can be a bad guy rather than the big evil establishment figures being blamed for everything; anyway, I could cover up their blandness with a little Mental In-Film Inferior Character Replacement (TM), imagining a more interestign set of rogues were at it; in this case, DeVito's Penguin and his Circus Gang), but I found it had a good strong heart to it, something that's had to find in family comedies anymore. 

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

The man has been in the top 10 for 10 weeks now. He's not a demon seed, he's the actual devil. And Kevin James has been around for a loooong time, he had a career pre-Sandler. Now, Sandler may have had a hand in making Blart, but it's a PG movie, and James is MUCH more clean than Sandler. Sorry, I gotta go with Paul Blart is the devil. I'm sure if this were an episode of the Simpsons, Lisa would be able to find some way to make Paul Blart into an anagram for Beelzebub.

 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 28 2009 at 12:00pm

Might I recommend, using that Mental Replacement to also replace Kevin James with The Grimace?

I am totally committed to the concept that The Grimace can make even the worst movies more palatable.

Originally posted by wetbandit82

I'd have to respectfully disagree with your assessment of Blart, dEd; I personally enjoyed it a lot when I saw it in the theater.  Sure, they didn't quite go as far with some jokes as they could have, and sure the villains were rather bland (although it is an encouraging sign that Hollywood can actually admit that the angry young slacker type can be a bad guy rather than the big evil establishment figures being blamed for everything; anyway, I could cover up their blandness with a little Mental In-Film Inferior Character Replacement (TM), imagining a more interestign set of rogues were at it; in this case, DeVito's Penguin and his Circus Gang), but I found it had a good strong heart to it, something that's had to find in family comedies anymore. 



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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:19am

Assuming "Blart" was even KIND of funny, there's no way in Hell it deserved to be in the top 10 for 10 weeks and make over $130m. I've never been even remotely prompted to crack half a smile at any of the previews, and especially considering the take it's already made, I'll never pay to see it. When it's on Comedy Central, maybe I'll watch it to see what the fuss was about, but there's NO WAY this movie deserved the grosses it got.

Originally posted by wetbandit82

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

The man has been in the top 10 for 10 weeks now. He's not a demon seed, he's the actual devil. And Kevin James has been around for a loooong time, he had a career pre-Sandler. Now, Sandler may have had a hand in making Blart, but it's a PG movie, and James is MUCH more clean than Sandler. Sorry, I gotta go with Paul Blart is the devil. I'm sure if this were an episode of the Simpsons, Lisa would be able to find some way to make Paul Blart into an anagram for Beelzebub.


 


I'd have to respectfully disagree with this assessment of Blart; I personally enjoyed it a lot when I saw it in the theater.  Sure, they didn't quite go as far with some jokes as they could have, and sure the villains were rather bland (although it is an encouraging sign that Hollywood can actually admit that the angry young slacker type can be a bad guy rather than the big evil establishment figures being blamed for everything; anyway, I could cover up their blandness with a little Mental In-Film Inferior Character Replacement (TM), imagining a more interestign set of rogues were at it; in this case, DeVito's Penguin and his Circus Gang), but I found it had a good strong heart to it, something that's had to find in family comedies anymore. 



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Post Options Post Options   Quote wetbandit82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 29 2009 at 2:44am

If that's how you feel; I do respect your opinion, since everyone sees the world of film a little bit differently, something the executives should keep in mind when trying to plan out their slates.  I just hope the gross doesn't delude them into inevitable sequel mode, since there was really no way to continue after the end (although doubtless they'll try to get a second one out regardless, whether it makes any logical sense or not).   

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 29 2009 at 6:16am
Well that's just the thing. When you let something like this turn into the unwieldy behemoth that it did, there's no getting around it. Hollywood is in full lockdown/red alert mode right now because of the economy, and have completely casterated themselves. And then people are going to see the sequel because everyone they know saw the first one.
I may be paranoid and completely unspiritual, but I believe in the "Moviepocalypse." Because Hollywood is the most free market sector of the economy right now, they're only going to put out what's being paid for. Sometimes you've gotta let a movie go if it doesn't look good enough. You've really gotta be picky, or things are just going to continue to get worse. And they HAVE been getting worse and worse over the past couple of years.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 29 2009 at 1:53pm

I pretty much agree with you. Never has H-Wood pumped out as many sequels, spin-offs, remakes, and adaptations as it has this past decade. It's as if the studios have given up entirely on new ideas of high quality and are only concerned with what they believe will sell. And when they do try something original, it's usually half-assed and/or all the marketing budgets favor the blockbuster movies the studio heads want you to see instead.

It's a grim future for movies and it's one of the reasons why I have limited my theater going, and stick to ordering new movies on PPV (or simply watching classic movies on cable or On Demand).

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 01 2009 at 10:29am
If people keep paying to see crap, we're going to get crap. As much as I can empathize with Frank seeing all that merde that he does in the theater, as I used to, it's still best to chose your battles wisely.
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