I Finally Know What Those Movies Were!
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: September 01 2006
Location: United States
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Topic: I Finally Know What Those Movies Were!
Posted: September 23 2007 at 7:07am
Over the years, I'd tune into a movie on television where I would catch the last several minutes, and go away and wonder, what the hell was that?
Well, I've almost completed John Wilson's The Official Razzies Movie Guide, and, aside from making me laugh, keeping me entertained and actually striking up my curiosity enough to brave watching most of the dirisible dreck contained therein, he has also solved two mysteries for me.
One movie I saw, I didn't have a clue what in the world was going on. A car stops at a railroad cross, a circus train collides with it and derails, a circus clown (is that James Stewart?) is suddenly a doctor, a woman rallies the circus, has a parade in town, holds a performance that night, and then there was all this "blah blah blah" and I'm sitting there dumbfounded, wanting to see something great but lost in bewilderment. AND THAT'S HOW THE MOVIE ENDED! Well, Wilson helped me identify this train wreck with a train wreck as The Greatest Show On Earth, and even though I only saw the last part of it, it seems we've both agree on how bad this movie was. AND IT WON AN OSCAR FOR BEST PICTURE, AND IT WAS COMPETING AGAINST THE QUIET MAN AND HIGH NOON, TWO OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES! Forget about having sawdust in your veins, I wonder if the Academy voters had sawdust for brains that year. . . .
And there was another one, where this young screenwriter was apparently sleeping her way to the top of her profession, and I just tuned in when an obese woman made a not-so-subtle invitation to join her in a hot tub. Afterwards, the screenwriter had a mental meltdown, but somehow pulled herself together to attend some sort of prestigious award ceremony where she told off her peers by suggesting they too slept their way to the top. And everyone watched as she walked out. And I watched, asking myself, so? I felt bad asking that question, but the way this subject was laid out in the movie, I was left not really caring about anyone or anything, and I only tuned into the end of the movie. I didn't care enough to even try to look it up, but again, here it was, in Wilson's book, as The Lonely Lady starring the narcissistic, incompetent actress Pia Zadora. And I read that the previous scenes were even worse than the scenes I tuned into. I couldn't believe how bad this movie was, and could believe even less that the filmmakers didn't know that before it was filmed. I thank HeadRAZZBerry for talking them into keeping the mental breakdown scene. This movie SHOULD be on DVD. It's a must see.
I'll have more to say once I finished the book (as you can tell, I'm almost there), but it's so good up until now, that unless he ends it as badly as Premonition or Perfect Stranger, Wilson has a must read classic. I'm adding the films I haven't seen yet to my ever growing list of movies to see, and I'm hoping enough of you have bought this book so Wilson can chronicle his second 100 movies-so-bad-they're-good.
I also hope Lost Horizon and The Legend of Lylah Clare make it to DVD, too. Sometimes it's a good thing that a movie is that bad. People will want to watch them over and over. For all the wrong reasons, yes, but hey, like I said at the beginning of my review of Dragon Wars, if you're gonna make a bad movie, make it like this!
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