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"It Was SUCH a Bad Movie" JOKES

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JoeBacon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: "It Was SUCH a Bad Movie" JOKES
    Posted: September 03 2005 at 4:45pm
You know you're watching a RAZZIE™ movie when EVERYONE in the
theater decides to play Mystery Science Theater 3000!
2014 Pic: LEFT BEHIND Actor: NICHOLAS CAGE Director: VIC ARMSTRONG, DAMN THIS SHOULD WIN EVERY RAZZIE!!!!!
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deadguy76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 03 2005 at 6:40pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when the actors hold interviews from their hospital rooms, recovering from their suicide attempts!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

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deadguy76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 11 2005 at 6:52pm

You know you're watching a Razzie movie when you're date slaps you after it's over, and refuses to return all your calls!

Then again, in my case, every movie would be a Razzie movie!

"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76
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Frigidus View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Frigidus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 17 2005 at 2:42pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when the cast would rather watch another movie at their own premiere.
The only one who can size a movie up by its trailer.
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dr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 25 2005 at 5:53am

You know you're watching a Razzie movie when that annoying person in back of you is more interesting  than the movie...     

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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2005 at 3:33pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when it drives away every cockroach within a ten mile radius.   
Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2005 at 3:34pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when you sue the director for human rights violations for having to sit through two hours of that crap.
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deadguy76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2005 at 2:16pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when the only critic quoted is (drumroll) ... John Wilson saying it's a guarateed winner! (for a Razzie!)
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2005 at 4:41pm
You know you're watching a bad movie when Celine Dion starts singing songs to sink ships by.

(Rumor has it she's going to sing the GILLIGAN'S ISLAND theme...What do they have against the S. S. Minnow???)
Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...
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deadguy76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 29 2005 at 7:39pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when the Christian Coalition says it's the kind of movie "that reflects American Values"...
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 30 2005 at 3:50pm
When the Screen Actors Guild makes a press release on opening night banning the entire cast from ever attending their meetings, you have been involved in a bad movie.
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saturnwatcher View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 04 2005 at 4:57am

You know you are watching a Razzie movie when:

1. Sylvestor Stallone makes an appearance on the screen.

2. You can say with all honesty that Carmen Electra wasn't the worst thing in it.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 08 2005 at 3:38pm
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when you think out loud that it would be a good weapon in the war on terror...
Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...
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deadguy76 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 08 2005 at 7:15pm
Originally posted by Razzilla

When you think out loud that it would be a good weapon in the war on terror, you know you've watched a Razzie movie.
I think the Geneva conventions rules have something to say about torture!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2005 at 2:29pm
You know it's a Razzie Movie movie when porn actors say they can do a better job...
Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...
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Razzilla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2005 at 10:03am
You know you're watching a Razzie movie when even the guys from MST3K refuse to play it.
Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...
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