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It’s 2005’s Biggest BIMBO Convention!!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: It’s 2005’s Biggest BIMBO Convention!!
    Posted: September 22 2005 at 2:26am

Starring and WRITTEN(!) by Former Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy , directed by her now-EX husband, and co-starring Carmen Electra, this one was a Contenduh before it even got released! 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 22 2005 at 2:30am

Elsewhere on this Forum, BooBerry let us know that Richard Roeper (of EBERT & ROPER & THE MOVIES) has already declared that DIRTY LOVE IS a Razzie Contender(!):

Anyone see "Ebert & Roeper" this past weekend? They reviewed DIRTY LOVE starring past Razzie Nominees Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra. They slammed the film, calling it one of the year's worst. (Look's like it could be a contender for this year's Berry race!) But, what was realy interesting is that during Richard Roeper's portion of the review he said, and I quote: "They may have to invent a whole new category in the Razzies, for Carmen Electra's jaw-droppingly awful performance as Rebecca's (McCarthy) best friend!"

Here's a LINK so you can HEAR this review yourself.  :

(Scroll DOWN to DIRTY LOVE and Click on the  ICON...)

Thanks, BooBerry!

Nobody LUVS movies more than ME!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 22 2005 at 10:43am
Gee, the only question I want answered is this:

Do you get to hear Frank Zappa's "Dirty Love Song" in this coalition of flotsam and detritus?
2014 Pic: LEGEND OF HERCULES! Actor: Aaron Echkardt, Director: Renny Harlin, Remake: Transcendence
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 22 2005 at 8:05pm
What the hell does Jenny McCarthy know about love? She just filed for divorce!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 23 2005 at 2:35am

Below, in its entirety, is the review of DIRTY LOVE from The L.A. Times...

Los Angeles Times

Friday, Sept. 23, 2005, Page E-10

'Dirty Love' is a cinematic low

"Attention, Razzie voters. As arbiters of the awful in the cinematic realm, it is your solemn duty to subject yourselves to the inept, execrable comedy "Dirty Love." It will surely yield nominations for Worst Picture, Director (John Asher), Screenplay (Jenny McCarthy), Actress (McCarthy, again), Supporting Actress (Kam Heskin and Carmen Electra) and Supporting Actor (Victor Webster). McCarthy continues her one-woman crusade to prove that former Playboy playmates can be just as unfunny as nonsurgically enhanced women, starring as a photographer bent on revenge against her cheating boyfriend.

It's a sad state of affairs when you feel sorry for Eddie Kaye Thomas (the "American Pie" quartet) because he's working in material that is beneath him.

"Dirty Love," R for strong sexuality, crude humor, language and some drug use. Running time: 1 hour, 30 minutes. In general release.

--Kevin Crust

And here's a LINK to read Roger Ebert's Scathing PRINT Review of DIRTY LOVE...

Sounds like DIRTY LOVE is a RAZZIE® Must See!!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Frigidus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 23 2005 at 1:07pm

I was hoping for a porno myself.

 

The only one who can size a movie up by its trailer.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BooBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 24 2005 at 3:47pm

Well, it's everybody's favorite... um... posting board guy... BooBerry here with some more amazing news about this garbage dump of a movie that's fast becoming a top contender for this year's Razzies.

According to amazon.com, this piece of cinematic dog crap has already (on the weekend that it opened, no-less) been announced an DVD!

Apparently December 6, 2005 is when we'll be seeing this one hit shelves!

Here's a link , see for yourself:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000BFO06E/qid =1127630794/sr=8-4/ref=pd_bbs_4/102-5258583-2211344?v=glance &s=dvd&n=507846

-BooBerry

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 24 2005 at 4:24pm
Originally posted by Frigidus

I was hoping for a porno myself.


 



I believe porno would have been better acted, scripted, and directed.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 25 2005 at 10:47am
OMFG
I obeyed the command of the HEAD RAZZ and actually saw this at the
Beverly Cinema. I am still recovering from the shock.

I hate to tell John Waters some bad news, but he is no longer the master
of sleaze. Nothing John Waters could ever do would compare to this
coalition of chlamydiac cinematic cirrhosis "directed" (?) by JOHN
MALLORY ASHER. With this infected invective of immature immolation,
JOHN MALLORY ASHER makes everything John Waters did look like it came
out of the Disney Film Factory. DIRTY LOVE makes PINK FLAMINGOS look
like MARY POPPINS!

I understand the "director" was "married" to the star, and now they broke
up while the "movie" was in post production (SPEAKING OF POST
PRODUCTION, WHO HELD THE RAZOR BLADE DURING THE PROCESS?). It's
too bad that they didn't emulate Henry Jaglom in Always and document
the breakup directly on the screen, but then, Jaglom actually knows how
to make a movie. Jaglom also has the ability to count past 10 without
taking off his socks and shoes, something that the "star" and "director"
might be unable to do without taking their socks and shoes off. I wonder
what Mr. DIrector might have to drop to get to 21?

My goodness, Jenny and John the "A" make Bo and John the "D" look like
Lunt and Fontainne.

Nothing Divine, Edie the Egg Lady, David Lochary, Mink Stole, Danny Mills
or Mary Vivian Pearce ever did on screen comes close to the cast of DIRTY
LOVE. Holy BURT WARD, calling the Cast of Dirty Love a CAST? Everyone
who got on the screen needs to be quarantined for the rest of their lives.
They should ALL be rounded up and forbidden to even be cast in a porno
movie. This is the only movie I have seen in my whole life that meets
Warren Burger’s test of obscenity. It has NO REDEEMING SOCIAL VALUE
WHATSOEVER! The cast of DIRTY LOVE makes the John Waters players
look like the ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY!

A special place in Cinematic Purgatory awaits Carmen Electra. She's the
"swingin" chick who thinks she's black. Vivian Vance needs to rise from
the grave to teach the former Mrs. Rodman about being a second
bananna! I hate to tell her, but the way she "acts" this on screen, well, If
you put her in a lineup with Trent Lott, he would be more black than she
attempts to be. She is so inept in this movie, one of my fellow victims
said she looked and acted like a 2 bit ho. I regretfully responded to him
that he overestimated her market value by 23˘. Wow, I finally get to use
my MA in Economics for something in the real world...

Thee are certain scenes I thought I had effectively erased the engrams
from (without the use of an e-meter, thank you Tom Cruise), I thought I
had last seen a certain aborted abcess of awfulness in Andy Warhol’s
Dracula involving a certain body fluid. Unfortunately, those engrams
resurfaced in a certain scene of this digital dungeon of disgusting
detritus.

Folks, if you think this film has any acting in it, I’ve got some prime
swamp land in Georgia that I can sell you REAL CHEAP! In fact, I don’t
believe anyone who has any competency in cinema involved themselves
with this whatever it is. This film is so inept, it makes anything that Ed
Wood did look like Gone With The Wind.

The script? The SCRIPT? Jenny Mc Carthy wrote this script? With WHAT???
Crayons and construction paper? How many typewriter ribbons did she
wear out? It surely wasn't done on a computer with Final Draft. If she had
the ability to use a computer and type this "script" on it, the computer
would have suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. Why am I even calling this a
script? The dialogue is so awful Irwin Allen would have vetoed it from a
Land of the Giants episode.

The "cinematograpy"? Did they pull Ed Wood's cameraman out of the
nursing home? Whoever "shot" this put a .357 magnum to the camera and
put it out of its misery. They MUST have flunked out of Bill Fraker's class
at the Los Angeles Film Academy. THey slept through the first lesson
when Bill told them "First you got to put the film in the camera"...

The "costuming" well, I guess they hit Ross Dress for Less ON A SALE
DAY.

Razz, you got to clear the decks. You thought NOTHING could get more
Razzies that Battlefield Earth? Razz, ANYONE who leaves the theater and
has survived the orgy of onanistic offense will tell you THIS WILL SWEEP
THE RAZZIES. Why nominate anything else? Just send out the ballot with
everyone associated with this road apple and put it to the G.R.A.F.
members with a Yes or No Vote. Nothing else this year comes close. This
movie makes Alone in the Dark look like a Masterpiece Theater Episode. It
makes Son of the Mask look like Blazing Saddles. I wonder if Max
Bialystock and Leo Bloom produced this picture and Ran off to Rio with 10
million dollars. If so, they deserve a Presidential Pardon! You will have to
issue several Governors Awards for this. It is so awful, that when it
finished, I felt like going back to the box office and not only demand my
money back, I wanted 115 minutes of my life back too--95 for the movie
and 20 for the trailers...

In fact, Razz, You got to go back and rewrite your book. DIRTY LOVE
deserves a separate chapter all its own to describe this sour sack of SIN-
ema.

JB
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2005 at 9:43am
Razz, I got a bit of a problem, I'm not sure if this is playing anywhere in Florida, let alone my region. Hopefully it will come out on dvd before ballots are due.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2005 at 2:09pm

Sanndman -- No worries, as mentioned in a posting by BooBerry above, DIRTY LOVE has already announced its DVD release date: December 6, 2005. From Booberry's posting, here's the LINK to its ordering page on Amazon...

Personally, I would RENT this title, NOT buy it...

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2005 at 3:38pm
If that was DIRTY LOVE, I'd hate to see what CLEAN love is like.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Sanndman228715 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2005 at 5:02am
Gross-out humor is only funny if done right. However in film, there hasn't been many people to get the concept.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 03 2005 at 1:40am
Evidently the great state of California is the only place this film has hit the silver screen. The suspicion from this corner is that there must be some sort of law against transporting it across state lines. Alas, those of us here in Denver and points East of the Left Coast are going to have to breathlessly await the December DVD release.
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 03 2005 at 2:00am
If there were a Razzie category for tackiest website, this film might well take the award by acclaimation. However, there was a link on the site that listed all the theaters where this film is/was playing. It listed a total of 42 theaters in California, New York, Chicago and 1 in Las Vegas as of September 23 (actucally the one location in Vegas was listed twice). Either the website has not been updated since then, or The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, or some similar organization stepped in to hault its spread.
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Razzilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2005 at 5:36am
Is it possible to gift-wrap a Razzie for Jenny McCarthy in honor(?) of her birthday???
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