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Jonathan Swift...Meet Moe Howard!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Jonathan Swift...Meet Moe Howard!
    Posted: December 24 2010 at 8:21am
HOLLYWOOD'S ASTOUNDING ABILITY to REDUCE ANY CONCEPT to DOO DOO HUMOR for the MASSES MAY HAVE REACHED NEW HIGHS (OR IS THAT LOWS?) WITH the 2010 REMAKE of GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.

ALTHOUGH SEVERAL PREVIOUS VERSIONS of THIS SAME MATERIAL (IMDb LINK) ALSO FAILED to CAPTURE the SATIRICAL WIT of JONATHAN SWIFT'S ORIGINAL NOVEL, THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN TRY. WITH the SOMETIMES ENDEARINGLY DOOFY JACK BLACK MERCILESSLY MUGGING LIKE MOE HOWARD in the TITLE ROLE (and EARNING a WORST ACTOR NOMINATION in the PROCESS) SWIFT's BRILLIANT PREMISE IS NOW a MERE EXCUSE for POORLY EXECUTED VISUAL FX (SEE IMAGE BELOW) and ENDLESS, OBVIOUS JOKES ABOUT "SIZE" (GET IT??). THE RESULTING TONE HAS MORE in COMMON with GILLIGAN'S ISLAND THAN with ANYTHING in the HIGHLY REGARDED BOOK. IN FACT, ONE WOULD HAVE to GO ALL the WAY BACK to DEMI MOORE'S HILARIOUS RAZZIE® "WINNING" 1995 REMAKE of SCARLET LETTER (with ITS DIM-WITTED/TACKED-ON "HAPPY ENDING") to FIND a MORE DISRESPECTFUL ADAPTATION of a CLASSIC NOVEL.  

AND MAKING THIS ONE of the LAST RELEASES of LAST YEAR ALMOST GAVE the IMPRESSION THAT TINSEL TOWN IS NOW in the BUSINESS of CREATING "RAZZIE®-BAITERS" (MOVIES MADE for the SOLE PURPOSE of PROCURING OUR NOMINATIONS). 

HERE'S to OUR VOTING MEMBERS for TAKING the BAIT, and GIVING THIS ONE a "SWIFT" KICK in the BALLS... 




AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS FILM'S MAKERS EXPENDED NO SPARES in
CREATING THEIR "SPECIAL" EFFECTS...PHOTO SHOP, ANYONE??




Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 24 2010 at 11:19am
Just to clarify, the award for "Worst Remake" goes to the worst movie overall, or the one that has the least in common with its source material? Some remakes this year have had worse reviews than this movie, but this one doesn't seem to try to respect the book. 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vheid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 24 2010 at 1:30pm
I am not willing to believe that this is the worst novel-to-screen adaptation since the 1995 version of the Scarlet Letter. (which I am now morbidly interested in seeing).  

I seem to remember a Jackie Chan-vehicle that physically abused a Jules Verne classic back in 2004. (To be honest, when I first heard of this film, I immediately thought of Around The World in Eighty Days)...  

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Doofy though the result may have been, at least the basic plot of Verne's novel was preserved in the 2004 remake of 80 DAYS (LINK). In the 2010 GULLIVER, only the idea that the central character seems to be a giant compared to the tiny people of Lilliput remains. And early reviews suggest that this film's makers have taken what was intended as a socio-political satire and turned it into a knees-to-the-groin, potty-humor-laden 3 Stooges style slapstick farce. 

So, yes, I still think one would have to harken back to the halcyon days just prior to Demi's demise (LINK) to find as awful a remake of a classic novel as this one... 


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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 24 2010 at 5:46pm
I only recall a couple of versions of Gulliver's Travels that paid attention to the "s" after the word "Travel".  Those versions visited all four worlds.  All the others, including this one, involved themselves strictly with the first travel, to Lilliput.  So, really, very few of them were ever truly faithful to the source material. 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 24 2010 at 10:17pm
The last good adaptation of "Gulliver's Travels" was the one on TV starring Ted Danson. This movie does nothing to dethrone that TV movie of that title. Swift must be doing backflips in his grave right now.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 25 2010 at 6:26am
Probably the most "loyal to the source" (and best overall version) of this material was a mini-series that starred Ted Danson a few years ago. This Jack Black version just looks shameful...not that I am surprised.  
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 25 2010 at 9:23am
A blues singer's guitar gurgles stinging bent notes while his cracked voice grinds out his latest woes. . . .
 
"Stuck in Lilliput again. . . . won't these little people let me be. . . .
 Stuck in Lilliput again. . . . these small folks only see what they want to see. . . .
 I always get tied down in this puny-minded town
 I should dress them all up funny in dolly pants and gowns
 Stuck in Lilliput again. . . . best I be headed back to the sea. . . ."
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 25 2010 at 9:39pm
Just looking at that picture the Head Razz posted reminds me of the tacky giant hand that used to fondle Deanna Lund in Irwin Allen's Land Of The Giants...

...And it appears that Jack Black is channeling Kurt Kasznar... Dead
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Film Reel Redemption Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 1:12am
 
I could just imagine a conversation between Jack Black and the film's executives similar to this... 



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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 7:35am

Some may disagree, but I found that commercial to be funny, especially the part where the Lilliputians started working Jack Black like a marionette.

However, if the movie is like that, well, I would have rather watched Black adapt Gulliver's Travels: Lilliput (let's call it as it is) than recast it with his brand of humor.  To borrow HeadRAZZ's title to this Forum, I really don't want to see Jonathan Swift Meets Moe Howard. . . .
 
Here's a scary thought.  If this movie does well, they could easily do a sequel and ruin the next section of the book.   I wonder how Black would do as the "Royal pet" among the giants? . . .
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 7:56am
Two questions:  
1)The other day I was researching about Z-movies, and I noticed only 2 modern Z-movies. One of them is the porno ATTACK OF THE 60 FOOT CENTERFOLD (also about a giant). Do you think that will be better than this?  

2)Did anyone ever see the TV anime adaptation of GULLIVER? I don't think it had much to do with the book either, but it was made during the POKEMON/DIGIMON era, so it was fun.  

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vheid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 9:47am
How does that work? I mean, seeing it's a porno it should atleast contain some form of penetration...But how does one "penetrate" a partner of that size?  

Originally posted by Vits

1)The other day I was researching about Z-movies, and I noticed only 2 modern Z-movies. One of them is the porno ATTACK OF THE 60 FOOT CENTERFOLD(also about a giant). Do you think that will be better than this?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 11:02am
Yeah, the trailer MIGHT be funny to some, but the movie has a whole has very little (no size pun intended) to do with the novel it's suppose to be based on. The book was about a man traveling to different worlds, each with a society with that mocks our own (such as people going to war over which end of an egg should the egg shell be opened at). But this movie is nothing more than slapstick and size jokes.
 
Although, calling this "Jonathan Swift Meets Moe Howard" isn't the best way to sum this movie up. Three Strooges, masters of physical comedy though they were, they are quite dated by today's standards. That, and the Strooges never made jokes about "size". So it's should be "Jonathan Swift Meets (insert name of a stand up comic who does nothing but jokes about "size" here)". 

Originally posted by cvcjr13

Some may disagree, but I found that commercial to be funny, especially the part where the Lilliputians started working Jack Black like a marionette.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 1:54pm
I don't know how the porno "works" I don't think I'll watch it, I was just making fun of this one. 

Originally posted by Vheid

How does that work? I mean, seeing it's a porno it should atleast contain some form of penetration...But how does one "penetrate" a partner of that size?
 

1)You should see the Golden Trailer Awards nominees!The truth is some comedies put their best jokes in the trailer,and then you watch the movie and it's boring.

2)Callng all Razzie users! Who here agrees that the 3 Stooges aren't funny anymore? All I hear is crickets!!  

Originally posted by BurnHollywoodBurn

Yeah, the trailer MIGHT be funny to some, but the movie has a whole has very little (no size pun intended) to do with the novel it's suppose to be based on.

Three Strooges, masters of physical comedy though they were, they are quite dated by today's standards.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 4:47pm
Yeah, that's how trailers work -- No one would pay to see the movie if all they showed were boring and unfunny clips.  

Originally posted by Vits

 Callng all Razzie users!Who here agrees that the 3 Stooges aren't funny anymore?All I hear is crickets.

I think I hear saturnwatcher making some noise ...  


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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2010 at 6:58pm
There is a good point emerging here. If you want to make a movie about some retarded Jack Black character finding himself in a land inhabited by tiny people,  fine. There is probably an audience for that out there somewhere, depressed as I am to ponder that possibility. HOWEVER...why is it necessary to trash Johnathon Swift and Gulliver's Travels by making an entirely inappropriate intellectual connection? This movie is to Swift's novel what Peewee's Playhouse is to The Tempest. I don't think that a single additional ticket is going to be sold by attempting to dupe any fan of Gulliver's Travels into believing that this is going to be a relevant, modern adaptation...just guessing.  

BTW: Evidently the Three Stooges do still have an audience -- Their short films appear every morning on AMC. I'm guessing that the demographic includes 5 year-olds, and males who spend their afternoons listening to Rush Limbaugh.
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