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LARRY Sez: "Gimme a RAZZIE Already!"

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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: LARRY Sez: "Gimme a RAZZIE Already!"
    Posted: May 06 2009 at 2:42pm

It is quite funny how Boll takes his movies stone-face seriously, as if he was actually paying any attention to what was in front of his camera in between his yelling "action" and "cut".

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2009 at 4:23pm

That is either the mark of true genius, or genuine insanity... I can't remember which. 

Originally posted by Michaels

It is quite funny how Boll takes his movies stone-face seriously, as if he was actually paying attention to what was in front of his camera in between his yelling "action" and "cut".

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2009 at 4:25am
There is still one very key difference between Ed Wood's films and those of Uwe Boll, which I think invalidiates the comparison and will prevent Boll from ever reaching a similar level of notoriety: Wood's films are actually fun to watch (for all of the wrong reasons). Boll's are just crap.
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2009 at 8:46am

True. As bad as "Plan 9" is, you can't help but laugh at it. Uwe Boll's movies, however, make you want to take a drill bit to the temple, as you realize some studio actually paid him money (more than once) to make the crap that he makes. 

Originally posted by saturnwatcher

There is still one very key difference between Ed Wood's films and those of Uwe Boll, which I think invalidiates the comparison and will prevent Boll from ever reaching a similar level of notoriety: Wood's films are actually fun to watch (for all of the wrong reasons). Boll's are just crap.

 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2009 at 4:21pm

To be fair to Mr. Boll... it wasn't until Bloodrayne that I wanted to drill a hole through my temple... Before that, I wanted to just jump in front of a Semi (Alone in the Dark) or hang myself from the rafters (House of the Dead.)

Somehow, I find it fitting that I discuss Uwe Boll in my 666th post on these forums...  

 

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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2009 at 1:13am

Yes, perfect timing indeed. Bravo!

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2009 at 5:15am

It was planned like that... You don't even understand the amount of timing and thought went into all my posts to lead me to that point. 

Originally posted by Michaels

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Somehow, I find it fitting that I discuss Uwe Boll in my 666th post on these forums...

Yes, perfect timing indeed. Bravo!

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2009 at 11:58am
I'm not entirely convinced that Uwe isn't just Kaufman-ing us with the serious act. He IS German, so he's got the schadenfreude factor working in his favor.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 08 2009 at 4:46pm

So, are you saying that Boll is deriving pleasure from torturing the filmgoing audiences? It makes a sick sort of sense...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2009 at 1:50am
It totally does. He's a funny guy.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2009 at 6:37am

Funny in his personal actions, sure. I remember him challenging someone to a boxing match because that person gave one of his films a bad review. And then when Uwe won the match, he proclaimed that it was PROOF that his movies were great.

As far as his movies go, there is nothing funny about those. But at least he hasn't sunk so low as to cast Larry the Cable Guy!

Now that is an artful return to the topic at hand if I ever saw one!

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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2009 at 8:51am
Hmmm, Larry the Cable Guy as directed by Uwe Boll? Throw in Seltzerberg as the writers and Michael Bay as the producer and we'll be having a field day!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2009 at 9:42am

And the sky will turn black as pitch, and the rivers shall run red with blood... And thus shall the Moviepocalypse be upon us. Woe unto the critics, for the end is nigh.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2009 at 12:18pm
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! You've mentioned it's name twice. If you say it three times, they get to make another movie.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 10 2009 at 7:02am

So, it's sort of like Beetlejuice? Say it's name three trimes and it appears? 

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! You've mentioned it's name twice. If you say it three times, they get to make another movie.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 10 2009 at 7:07pm
I think this particular entity is more akin to Candyman or Candle Jack than Beetlejuice. Because Candyman and Candle Jack are much more evil, and much more lethal. I mean, if I were to say Candyman and Candle Jack ju--
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