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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: More UGLY-Ness...
    Posted: June 05 2009 at 8:21am

I was browsing The Onion, and found this little gem (link below).

Brilliant little article, although I must warn you, there is some foul language used... OK, maybe it borders on excessive. But the idea of threatening movie-goers with a sequel to Coyote Ugly was too good -- I'm still laughing about it!

I think most people on this Forum could get a good laugh out of the article, if they can get past the language... Here's the LINK:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/vindictive_movie_studio _threatens

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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2009 at 9:18am
Hmmm, I'm surprised there hasn't been a "CU" sequel yet. I mean it's hot chicks serving drinks, doesn't that scream "franchise" ... said Michael Bay to the studio heads.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2009 at 5:34pm
I just founf the Article's talk of using a sequel to Coyote Ugly as a threat to get people to go to movies was incredibly humorous. It is the sole reason I must see all the crap they have produced recently. If I don't, they will make a Coyote Ugly sequel... I can't let that happen, Future generations do not need that kind of punishment!
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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2009 at 10:55pm
That's not funny at all.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2009 at 11:21pm
Not funny at all? Really? Hmm... perhaps my humor is more twisted then I thought...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2009 at 1:12am
There's twisted, there's dark, and then there's the stuff that makes Satan go into a fetal position. And then there's the prospect of Coyote Ugly 2, which may as well be the last movie ever made, because I may have to swear them off altogether if people are stupid enough to see that. I might have to swear off humanity in general, too. Live in the forest riding and training bears for racing. It's a good thing I'm well practiced.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2009 at 6:12am

You are well practiced on living in the forest and riding and training bears for racing? Perhaps when they make "Coyote Ugly 2: Get Uglier" you could ride up to the theater riding a grizzly bear. Not with any intention of seeing the movie, though. You'd be riding the bear for the express purpose of mauling everyone who was going to see the Coyote Ugly sequel.

As long as they don't call the movie "Coyote Ugly: The Squeakual" I would probably still not rate it the worst idea for a sequal ever.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2009 at 6:53am
What if they made the movie with actual ugly coyotes? They could be all CGI and in-yo-face. It'd be like every CG animal movie ever made!
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2009 at 7:26am
Oooh! You better be sending these ideas in to the movie studio, so when they use teh ideas, you can claim your portion of the earnings. Heck, you might be able to get your name into the credits! All before you ride your grizzly in, and maul them all to death...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2009 at 1:35am
I'll take justice over money any day. I'll let them make the money, then maul them and take it. Then maybe do a Coyote Ugly dance on their corpses.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2009 at 7:29am

Corpse dancing? I hear that was going to be a major part of Coyote Ugly 2. From what I hear, it is going to be a massive Kill Bill style Revenge tale. After the bar gets closed, due to health code violations (Having people dancing on the bar can NOT be sanitary) The girls band together, and go seek out retribution against the health inspector, and the guy that reported them, leaving a trail of blood and dismembered bodies in their wake... At least, in my mind, that's how the story would go... Possibly with a new, sexier group of coyotes...

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2009 at 8:39am
I'm thinking "Coyote Ugly 2: Watering Hole Of The Dead". Zombies have invaded the bar and the only way for the hot barmaids to fight them off is by lighting all the brooze on fire. Orrrrrr, there can be vampires, and the barmaids trick them into drinking holy water by offering them to do body shots out of their bellybuttons.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2009 at 9:39am

I like that idea. Or how about a zombies vs vampires scenario, where the two undead rivals fight each other for the rights to consume the brains/blood of the barmaids? And as long as you don't use some idiotic sparkley glowing vampire BS... If that happened, I could only hope for the barmaids to have a full on slaughter of the fake vampires, not resting until each and every one of the abominations are dead and gone for good.

Stupid BS glowing vampire garbage, ruining vampires for decades to come. Someone needs to make a good bloody vampire movie again, to remind the damned world that vampires are not sparkling, but things to be feared.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 07 2009 at 12:30pm
It seems like someone should be making a Uwe Boll joke here, but I think we've made enough. Congrats.
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CriticalFrank View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 08 2009 at 12:38am
Enough Uwe Boll jokes? Is that even possible? That would be like saying we've picked on Nic Cage too much... or we have said too many bad things about "The Happening"....
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 08 2009 at 12:32pm
We've barely begun the assault on Nic Cage. We didn't start on him until that silly Knowing movie.
But I, in general, kind of feel like we're "remaking" our own jokes here. I think I may have just made my last Bay joke in my last post, and I'm going to move on to Shawn Levy, and then maybe search around to find some other d-bags... Who was the guy who made "My Best Friend's Girl?"
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