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Most Unwelcome Sequel of the Year?!?

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Most Unwelcome Sequel of the Year?!?
    Posted: February 01 2009 at 2:38am

A LONG TIME AGO (MAYBE BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN) STEVE MARTIN WAS ACTUALLY a BERRY FUNNY GUY. HIS ARROW-thru-the-HEAD STAND-UP ROUTINES WERE LAFF RIOTS. HIS EARLY FILMS, LIKE THE JERK and ALL OF ME, WERE VERBALLY and PHYSICALLY HYSTERICAL. HIS TALENTS SEEMED ALMOST LIMITLESS...

THEN HE DID a 1991 DISNEY REMAKE of FATHER of the BRIDE and, WHEN THAT MEDIOCRE FAMILY FILM MADE ENOUGH to ENGENDER an UNCALLED FOR SEQUEL, MARTIN's CAREER WENT OFF the RAILS.

FOR OVER a DECADE-and-a-HALF NOW, MARTIN HAS SADLY BEEN MORPHING into a 21st CENTURY EQUIVALENT of FRED MacMURRAY in THOSE ENDLESS 1960s DISNEY COMEDIES: AN AFFABLE, LAZY ACTOR WHO DOES ONLY WHAT'S REQUIRED, BRINGS ALMOST NOTHING to a ROLE, and IS STUCK in a KIND of CAREER HELL WHERE DOING MOVIES YOU KNOW SUCK KEEPS YOU RICH and FAMOUS.

MAYHAPS the ULTIMATE EXAMPLE of THIS IS PINK PANTHER 2 -- a SEQUEL ALMOST NO ONE REQUESTED, to a MOVIE ALMOST NO ONE LIKED.

NOTE to STEVE MARTIN: PLEASE, BRING the FUNNY BACK. AND, EVEN WHEN YOU WERE at YOUR BERRY FUNNIEST, YOU STILL WEREN'T in the SAME LEAGUE as PETER SELLERS PLAYING CLOUSEAU... 

OKAY, EVERYONE, HERE's YOUR CHANCE to ARGUE THIS FILM DOESN'T (or DUZ) STINK LIKE a BIG, STEAMING PILE of MERDE... 

MARTIN (to himself): "Did Mr. Garcia just fart...or was that 

the sound of RAZZIE® wins yet to come??"

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2009 at 3:39am
Be careful everyone, we don't want to encourage the wraith of ... the LA Times ... for insulting this movie! Oooooh, scary.
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2009 at 11:57pm
This looks PAINFUL! Can't be as bad as "Trail Of The Pink Panther" though.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 02 2009 at 4:44pm
Please, after viewing the first go round of Steve Martin debasing the role of
Clouseau--well, he managed to turn the PINK Panther into the STINK
Panther
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MiguelAntilsu View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 04 2009 at 4:04pm

Look at the headlines.  That shows you have no sense of humor (or a bad one if you do).

Michaels, I think you really crossed the line with that one. 

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Yo, MiguelAntilsu -- To what humorless "headlines" are you referring? And WHERE did you come up with this crap about The Los Angeles Times caring what we do or don't RAZZ?? The only person at L.A.T. who even seems aware of our existance is the guy who blogs on their Gold Derby page, and he's alwaze found us funny as Hell. Please stop wasting your time (and ours) trying to defend us from imaginary enemies whose "wrath" we'd actually welcome...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 05 2009 at 1:01am

Dude, there's no line to cross. You think this forum is seriously going to stop mocking bad movies just because of ONE newspaper is saying we should? The one newspaper that's probably being paid off by the studios to give the movie a good review (yes, studios DO that). Maybe we're taking a tip from Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian; that any news is good news. LA Times mentions us in their paper, people become curious, they look up our website, they like what they see, they join us, we now have new voters. Seriously, you talk about US not having a sense of humor, look in the mirror. This forum is all about tongue-in-cheek joking around and you take it like it's going to affect our lives on a personal and professional level.

 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 05 2009 at 4:21pm
The headlines I was talking about were the article you posted on this particular movie.  You can expect the box office to defeat you.  The first film came out almost exactly three years ago.  On opening weekend, it garnered $20M.  Overall, it made $82M.  I should add that this upcoming installment is expected to edge out He's Just Not That Into You by $600K.  Also, Wheel of Fortune managed to give away a prize package containing tickets to see this film and a trip to Paris.  And for you guys who think comedy is no laughing matter, you are the weakest link, goodbye!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 06 2009 at 1:06am

Dude, it wouldn't be the first time a movie we have targeted did well in the box office. Remember, just because it's a hit, that doesn't mean it isn't sh*t. It will do well this first week, then drop 50% next week. 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 06 2009 at 5:07am

 

Which, on the whole is a pretty mediocre box-office take.  The first movie did that well for two reasons: 1. Steve Martin's name and 1. the comparative lack of competition this time of year. My guess is that this one will do just about as well, and you are evidently the only person who will be impressed.

Originally posted by MiguelAntilsu

The headlines I was talking about were the article you posted on this particular movie.  You can expect the box office to defeat you.  The first film came out almost exactly three years ago.  On opening weekend, it garnered $20M.  Overall, it made $82M. 

Second prize was the trip, the tickets to the movie AND you had to USE the tickets to see the movie. I'm really not sure how a give away prize on WoF affirms the "quality" of this film, but it does offer the possibility that at least 2 people in Paris will go see it, which otherwise might well have been a dubious proposition. Most of the time, contestants on game shows have the option of taking the prize, or its cash equivalent. Bet me that the person who won that particular prize took the money and won't go see the movie. The real purpose of offering those kinds of prizes (which isn't unusual) is publicity. The studio gets cheap publicity for several minutes on a popular TV show, and the prize award (or its cash equivalent) is generally less expensive than buying advertising time on the same show.

 Also, Wheel of Fortune managed to give away a prize package containing tickets to see this film and a trip to Paris.  And for you guys who think comedy is no laughing matter, you are the weakest link, goodbye!

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 06 2009 at 8:56am
... Dude! Please tell me someone hacked Miguel; he was never this dumb.
1 - How many times have you and everyone else on this website argued that the amount of money a movie makes doesn't mean it's good? How many remakes and horror thises and thats have been number 1 lately, and have in fact, sucked ass? Uuuuhhhh... All of them?
2 - Movie cross promotion on a game show? You think people were trying to get on the show just in time to win the marvelous $20 prize to see Pink Panther 2? Regardless of whether or this is a good movie, the fact that this is being called and unwanted sequel is pretty fair. I beg you to find me one person who saw the first one and say, "I can't wait for a sequel."
3 - No one else wants to take a crack at the "Weakest Link" joke? Remember a few years ago when Family Guy (and I know you're so terribly offended by it Miguel, but plenty of other people here like it) did that bit where Olivia the child actor is with Stewie in acting class and she says that, and it was an out of date joke THEN?

Unrelated, He's Just Not that into You is giving me nightmares. Between that and Shopaholic, I literally, honestly believe that the two worst chick flicks of all time are about to descend upon us, and Satan will look down and he will laugh, and we (men) will burn. I am so unbelievably happy to be single right now.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 06 2009 at 3:32pm

Well first off, I'm not offended by Family Guy (I like it and it's cleaner than South Park), and second, you don't seem to give many films a chance when it's either a sequel or it's based on something.  Do you even bother to see a film like that and least show some emotion?  If you did that, you would at least see some light in the film.  To act headstrong and uninterested at every film you go to does not make a good critic.  With this image, people are going to lose interest in you and ridicule you like you ridicule 60% of everything you see.  You mostly don't go back on first impressions, either.  Once you see a trailer and you see that it's an adaptation, a sequel, or that it has an actor you're biased towards, you assume it's bad.  Then once you see this film, you come back with an unchanged opinion.  I don't know why you do this, but it's gonna become a problem if you don't let up on some of these films.

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Yo, Miguel -- Please stop telling us how to conduct our business! From the tone of your postings, I would guess we have existed since well before you were even born -- and we have survived nearly 30 years without your presumed "widsom" as to what might happen if we do (or don't) RAZZ certain films. While you are welcome to express opinions on our Forum (as is anyone) you are NOT welcome to take a proprietary attitude as though your ideas and attitudes toward film (ideas, I might ad, that are both naive and unbending) are the ONLY valid ones.

While you may envision yourself as some kind of "savior" offering all this un-asked-for advice, as the person who created this whole thing, I gotta say: I DON'T NEED (OR WANT) YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS "HELP"...

Stick to discussing the movies -- and NOT our process, please...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2009 at 12:38am

Miguel, Miguel, Miguel...first of all, the majority of films released during the course of a year are never discussed on this board; negatively, positively or otherwise.

Second, and I'm really getting tired of pointing this out to you and Stallone fans, if we discuss a film prior to its release and it turns out to be good, we invariably concede the point. Will you please acknowledge that simple fact once and for all and not paint yourself into that corner again?

Third, the idea of remaking a stellar classic movie series like the original Pink Panther was incredibly retarded. The first one drew mediocre numbers at the box-office and was not terribly well received by either critics or the public. To make a sequel to a movie that shouldn't have been made in the first place and wasn't even remotely warranted or wanted by anyone, apart from those who will modestly benefit financially from it was moronic. The whole thing is a disservice to the artform and the public.

Fourth, I don't think there is a particular bias here against Steve Martin. I'm getting tired of pointing this out as well, but it has been acknowledged several times that most of us appreciate his talents as a stand up (I personally called him one of the all-time greats) and some of his original films...please reread HeadRazz's introductory comments above. However, he has a string of bad films to his credit that paints a target upon himself.

I think we are all a little sick and tired of your ongoing charges of bias, particularly against individuals who have a track record for ineptitude...If Uwe Boll makes a film there is every reason to suspect it's going to blow. If Sylvester Stallone makes a movie there is every reason to believe that it is going to be excessively violent and an assault on the sensibilities of anyone with an IQ over 70. Paris Hilton can't act. The woman couldn't express pain if you shoved a hot fire place poker up her nether orifice (for the edification of Stallone fans, that means cramming it up her wazoo). If George W. Bush makes a decision, most of us are going to get screwed sideways. It all comes down to track record, and in the words of the late Howard Cosell, "tell it like it is."

Once and for all, get a C L _ _. Wanna buy a vowel?

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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2009 at 7:13am

What have I done?  How could I be so blind?  This whole article was a trap and I walked right into it.  I can't believe I would sink to such depths.  You know what, go ahead.  Insult it as much as you like.  I don't care about your opinions anymore.  I never intended this madness.  I didn't think that this process would run my life.  All I ever wanted was to give you some advice.  Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?  Well, what the heck!  I gave it my best shot, and what a ride it has been.  Five months of cinematic turmoil and I managed to get a kick out of kicking some of those films.  Once the awards are over, I don't plan on coming back until fate tells me to.

P.S. I think the moviegoers listened to you.  Look at the Friday numbers on Box Office Mojo.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote StinkersRule Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2009 at 8:32am
  MERDE !! Looks like somebody read the chapter of Jimmy Norton's "I Hate Your Guts" book that mercilessly/hilariously  trashed Steve Martin's first Pink Panther abomination  ...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2009 at 11:44am
Even though I don't know if Miguel will get this, there is a very good reason to pre-judge sequels and remakes - they are artistic POISON. You can fall for the bells and whistles and big budgets of a guaranteed money maker, but are they making a good movie, with a point and something to say? Or are they making a movie and waiting for the money to trickle in. If you want to make a new Steve Martin movie, why not make up a new character? Oh, because then we wouldn't know what we're getting into and actually have to think about it. He's a smart guy, and he can make a good movie, but he was apparently very bored and agreed to do a sequel to a movie that he knew wasn't that great in the first place.

And why shouldn't we make fun of most movies that come out? You look at Rotten Tomatoes - when was the last time you looked at the top 10 movies on RT and saw more than TWO movies with a fresh rating? Face it, Hollywood is in a serious "Push $hit down our throats" mode because they just wanna get paid. If this were the music industry that we were talking about, it'd essentially be the latest covers of "Don't Stop Believing","Jingle Bell Rock", and "Thriller." I don't know why you feel the need to defend this morbidly corrupt industry. Now, I LOVE it when I go to see a movie and I like it, and it's good, and it makes me think. But what's the top 10 right now -
1. Taken - Ever seen Mel Gibson's "Payback"?
2. Paul Blart - Fat guy slapstick.
3. The Uninvited - the 84235349th remake of an Asian horror movie, and as its been said before, why can't we just see the original subtitled?
4. Hotel for Dogs - Animal comedy... again... I guess the Air Bud crew was too tired from making "Space Buddies"
5. Gran Torino - A movie about a guy who learns to accept differences and gang violence before dying. Note: No reference to something else, and it got a Fresh on RT.
6. Slumdog Millionaire - Rags to Riches story, but with a compelling narrative, and it's in one of the poorer regions of the world. Also a Fresh.
7. Underworld 3 - Sequel to a moderately popular franchise, which doesn't really have much to say or prove. I liked it to a point, but it was still a crap movie.
8. New in Town - ANOTHER Renee Zellwegger chick flick. I've heard it described as Bridget Jones in Minnesota. Nothing new there.
9. My Blood Valentine 3D - Well hey, at least it's a CANADIAN horror remake.
10. Inkheart - Adaptation of a recent fantasy book series. There's another genre being beaten to death.

All movies not mentioned specifically as Fresh have been Rotten.
Ok, this has gone on long enough, and is so long no one is going to read it anyway, but my final point is, you don't have to like this stuff just because it's all they're giving you. Hollywood is screwing you right now, and they're not going to get any better if we keep giving them a chance on their thoughtless patterns on what gets made. And for my money, you're better off taking a chance, like Repo! and having some people not like it, and then some people love it, but you have an original concept.

Sorry for the rant, ladies and gents!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 07 2009 at 1:29pm

Originally posted by MiguelAntilsu

I think the moviegoers listened to you.  Look at the Friday numbers on Box Office Mojo.

"Listened to us"? Or perhaps they (unlike you) had a clue and they knew this movie shouldn't even exist, and they shouldn't be encouraging it by throwing their money at it.

PS: HeadRazz is right, after nearly 30 years, I don't think we need advice from some of who is probably half or a quarter the age of most of the members here. 

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