Not Exactly Ga-Ga Over GURU...

The reviews are only beginning to come in, but it looks like Get Smart will have a contender for Worst of the Weak.  The first reviews for Michael Myers' Love Guru have been harsh, such that Rotten Tomatoes is currently at 0%.  For example, Kirk Honeycutt of the Hollywood Reporter declares Love Guru to be "a regressive step in the extreme," with only Steve Colbert being "absolutely hysterical."  Ella Taylor of the Village Voice bemoans that Myers took two of his favorite things, ice hockey and Deepak Chopra, lumped them together and "called it a plot."  All in all, it appears Love Guru may become more known for its elephant poop than for being funny.

The only one to praise this movie so far is Prairie Miller!

Getting a 15% on RT. Looks like its dethroned Get Smart for the Berry Worst Movie of the Week


Hard to believe MM put out a real stinker, I loved the Austin Powers series . . . .guess anyone can have a misstep.

At Ain'tItCoolNews, Massawyrm said this of "The Love Guru": "Tonight Jason Freidberg and Aaron Seltzer have something to celebrate. They can now say that they made a movie every bit as good as Mike Myers." Holy , this must suck!

SPOILERS!

My take on this movie?

It's not half bad.  In fact, it's mostly bad. . . .

. . .but let's talk about the good things first.

When Mike Myers tackles new age/self-help/motivational/guru speaking head-on, giving a message with acronyms, many of which have been around for a long time (for example, Basic Information Before Leaving Earth out of BIBLE) and trademarking them, he's hilarious.  I wish the whole movie was geared towards having fun with this movement, but alas, it's not.

When Mike Myers takes on Bollywood dancing at the end with a Bollywood rendition of Steve Miller's "The Joker", that was funny.  Along the same line, when he and Manu Narayan (as Rajneesh) sing a version of "More Than Words" and Guru Pitka's tech guy held up a lighter, I was laughing.  Part way into the movie, there was a Bollywood version of Dolly Parton's "9 To 5" that was okay, but it could have been better.  I felt, since these scenes were in the grand tradition of Bollywood and since he was doing this so well, he should have added at least three more songs that made us laugh. 

Verne Troyer's outtake at the end of the movie was funny, too.

I was neither impressed with nor disappointed with Justin Timberlake's performance.  It was adequate.

I laughed several times throughout this movie, but for the most part, it wasn't funny, at many times, it was dumb, and many more times it ventured into Seltzer/Friedberg territory. 

Let me give you some examples.

1.  Narayan helping Myers "body floss" (through the mouth and out the other end).

2.  Myers pulling out half a pool cue that had been rammed up his butt during a barroom fight.

3.  Myers brings two elephants out on a hockey rink during the last penalty shot to do the wild thing so as to distract Romany Malco from his mental problems about his wife saying the same thing about Justin Timberlake during sex as she said about him.

4.  The audience, both at the rink and watching television, sitting there with jaws dropped (many pasted in) as they watched two elephants copulate. 

5.  Every scene with Ben Kingsley in it.

6.  Every midget joke, especially the whole scene that takes place in Coach Punch Cherkov's (Verne Troyer's) office.

7.  Jessica Alba-tross, although, like in Good Luck, Chuck, she showed a modicum of acting.  This isn't saying much, and someone else could have done it better, but her acting is better than Jessica Simpson's acting.  Jessica Simpson, by the way, makes a cameo in this film.

8.  Every scene with Telma Hopkins in it was badly written and unfunny.  Hopkins still managed to show she can act, though.

9.  Mike Myers' chastity belt, which should have been funny, and Verne Troyer's ability to punch through it without hurting his hand.

10.  The entire scene on the Toronto Maple Leafs jet.

So, as far as Razzie awards go, I would like to nominate Mike Myers for worst actor, Verne Troyer for worst supporting actor (for both this and Postal), Jessica Alba for worst supporting actress, Jessica Simpson for worst supporting actress just because she DARED to show up, Ben Kingsley for worst supporting actor, Manu Narayan for worst supporting actor, Romany Malco for worst supporting actor, Meagan Good for worst supporting actress. . . .

AND Mike Myers with either Jessica Alba, Manu Narayan OR his chastity belt for WORST SCREEN COUPLE!

I give this movie a generous 3 out of 10.

END SPOILERS!

Originally posted by Michaels This just in from IMDb.com: The movie is so bad and tasteless, Hindus are finding it insulting.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . If you pay attention to what this sentence actually says. . . . I'm gonna leave that one alone for now.

Originally posted by Michaels Zed has now urged Hindus around the world to boycott the movie, claiming the picture "lampoons Hinduism and Hindu concepts and uses Hindu terms frivolously".

This is like the evangelicals boycotting The Last Temptation of Christ.  Boycotts tend to attract attention to a movie, and what is otherwise a bad movie will draw more audiences than it would if you just state your case.  Of course, this doesn't always work--for example, The Duh Vinci Code.  But The Love Guru is so bad, it's going to die in its own elephant poop.

Originally posted by Michaels "Mike Myers' guru instigates a bar fight, repeatedly narrates penis jokes, mocks yoga - one of the six orthodox schools of Hindu philosophy, wears female jewellery, mocks the concept of third eye, makes disciples drink tea passed through his nose, orders alligator soup, induces elephant copulation in front of the crowd, introduces himself as 'His Holiness', lives in a lavish ashram staffed with scantily clad maids, and whose goal in life seems to appear on the Oprah Winfrey show."

I think Mike Myers has more to worry about than Rajan Zed.  Parts of the barfight, the elephant copulation during a hockey match and Pitka's ashram with its scantily clad maids were at best halfway funny.  I'm sure if I watched this a second time through, they wouldn't be funny at all, much like the rest of the scenes he objects to.  Hindus may still be offended if they want, but it's the movie audiences who have cause to be offended.

Originally posted by Michaels He adds, "Today it is Hinduism, tomorrow Hollywood might attempt to denigrate another religions.

"Might"?  It has done so for decades!  Where has Zed been?

Originally posted by Michaels "Hinduism is often misunderstood and wrongly portrayed outside India. Movies like this bring more confusion and create stereotypes in the minds of audience."

Only the hardliners in India seem to be making headlines, and none of those headlines are good.  And perpetuating bad stereotypes is bad.  I'm sure midgets will feel the same way about Verne Troyer's portrayal of Coach Punch Cherkov.  It probably would have been better to mock the stereotypes.

Where the line should be drawn between free speech and prejudice is a whole other topic I'll let someone else here explore if they want.

However, we should never have to put up with paying over $10 (just over two gallons of gas where I live) for a comedy that's mostly stupid and unfunny.

In case you're wondering who Rajan Zed is, click here to read about him in Wikipedia.  He is a Hindu chaplain from Reno, NV, and is currently Public Relations Officer for the India Association of Northern Nevada.

One of the articles to carry Michaels' story can be found at Newstrack India by clicking here.

Another article in USA Today, which you can view by clicking here, goes into how Hindus are divided over the movie. 

 

Oh, a friend of mine was overhearing people talking about Myers version of
Walter Mitty and he said that it DOES include MORE penis jokes, farting,
boogers and Verne Troyer (not necessarily in that order!!!!)

May Danny Kaye rise from the dead and stir fry Mike Myers to death!

This movie has elephant sex (reminiscent of Razzie sweeper Freddy Got Fingered) -- a sign of total bankrupt desperation. Love Guru must sweep the Razzies like Freddy did!