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WHITE COMANCHE

Printed From: Official RAZZIE® Forum
Category: MOVIES & DVDs of the WEEK
Forum Name: BEST BAD CABLE MOVIE of the WEEK
Forum Discription: Wanna Catch The Best of the Worst @ Home? Here's How 2 Find 'Em on Basic Cable!
URL: http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1239
Printed Date: October 21 2014 at 1:19pm


Topic: WHITE COMANCHE
Posted By: HeadRAZZBerry
Subject: WHITE COMANCHE
Date Posted: August 12 2006 at 4:52am

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446693340/ref=s9_asin_image_1/002-2425905-1264811?n=283155 - FROM THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446693340/ref=s9_asin_image_1/002-2425905-1264811?n=283155 - by Head RAZZberry John Wilson -- available from Amazon.com

 

WHITE COMANCHE (1968/RKO General Pictures)

WHO’S TO BLAME 

CAST: William Shatner (As Twins: Johnny Moon and Notah); Joseph Cotton (Sheriff Logan); Rosanna Yani (Kelly); Bart Barry (Mayor Bolker); Ian Castelli (The Boy); Perla Cristal (White Fawn)     

CREW: Directed by Gilbert Lee Kay (Jose Briz), Written by Robert I. Holt and  Frank Gruber


RAVE REVIEWS 

“A cheap, visually ugly Spanish western…with a morose sincerity… A sagebrush version of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.”
     
Robert Monell /VideoForum.com 

     “The most electrifying of bad westerns… delivering some of the worst dialogue in movie history.”  Nate Nichols / http://www.Ooze.com - www.Ooze.com
   
PLOT, WHAT PLOT? 

 If you think William Shatner is one of the great bad actors of our time, then this one’s for you. In WHITE COMANCHE, which he made during hiatus from over-acting on a regular basis as Captain Kirk on TV’s STAR TREK, Shatner gets to ham it up as not one but two characters: Half-breed twin brothers who square off in the old West. 

 Some reviews suggest that this film was shot in about one week – And it certainly seems a credible accusation, given the film’s quality. Even on DVD, the print looks like it was tapped-danced on by the entire U.S. Olympic golf team. Instead of Leo the Lion roaring (or any studio logo) we open with a stock shot of a snowy mountain, with a stock sound effect of a wolf howl under it. Then the music comes up –  If Sheriff Dillon from GUNSMOKE had ever played Vegas, this is what his pit band would’ve sounded like. Finally, a title appears: “Producers’ International Corporation presents…” With this inauspicious a start, we know already what we’re in for. Made in Spain on a budget apparently under 2,317 pesos, WHITE COMANCHE is supposed to be that country’s answer to the so-called Spaghetti Westerns that were all the rage at the time. Think of it as the world’s first Sangria Western. 

  As the main titles end, Shatner is being chased by a band of desperados, determined to string him up from the nearest tree (and they haven’t even seen him in his other role as the Indian half-breed brother, Notah!). Barely escaping with his life, Johnny Moon realizes it must be his half-brother they wanted to hang, and so goes to Notah’s village, entirely populated by Spaniards in dime store Indian wigs. Notah’s wife, who wears the traditional excessive mascara of her people, tells her half-brother-in-law: “There has never been good between you!” To which Moon retorts: “Has there ever been good between Notah and anyone?”

  Suddenly we’re following a stagecoach through a canyon, in which rides a blonde in a 1967 Playboy centerfold hairdo. From the hills above ride a raiding party of Indians, led by Notah – Shatner in the same haircut as Moon, a headband on his forehead, his pale white chest bare, wearing buckskin pants and little booties, with his face streaked with “war paint” that looks like someone at the office attacked him with a bottle of White-Out. He lets out an Indian war whoop (as only Shatner can do an Indian war whoop) and one of the coach passengers intones: “It’s the White Comanche!”

  When Notah gets home from “work,” Johnny is waiting for him with the welcoming remark: “Notah is well-named. His liver is white, like his Yankee father, his heart burns blacker than the skin of his Comanche mother and he’s white-bellied, like his name, the snake!”  Popping a button of Peyote, Notah replies: “Notah’s brother talks like the white man he thinks he is. He is afraid to be Comanche.” The comeback? “Eat the peyote, drug of the devil – Dream your dreams of hate!”

  Obviously, these brothers don’t get along. And how they work out their differences, through 93 minutes of ugga-mugga and broken English dialogue, is the meat-and-potatoes of this film. To accompany Shatner’s name above the title, the producers hired Joseph Cotten  to play the local sheriff. After having started his career with CITIZEN KANE, and skidding down from there to DUEL IN THE SUN and THE OSCAR, Cotten reached his nadir with this role: You can almost smell his disdain for the words the screenwriters put in his mouth.

  Deservedly obscure, and only remembered today because of Shatner’s pricelessly hammy dual performance, WHITE COMANCHE should be Exhibit A if Captain Smirk ever finds himself on trial for over-acting in the first degree.

DIPPY DIALOGUE

Johnny Moon (William Shatner)  after winning a gun-drawing contest: “Next time, don’t eat the peyote. Maybe then you’ll be quick enough!”

CHOICE DVD CHAPTER STOP

The Big Shoot-Out at End of Film: In which Shatner/Johnny challenges Shatner/Notah to a gun duel – And no one can tell which brother is which, until one of them dies.

AVAILABILITY

As a “public domain” title, WHITE COMANCHE is available on VHS and DVD from various video labels, and from http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00020FUYE/002-2425905-1264811?v=glance&n=130 - Amazon.com for as little as http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00020FUYE/002-2425905-1264811?v=glance&n=130 - ONE CENT !.  It will be playing on http://www.tcm.com/thismonth/article/?cid=86471 - Turner Classic Movies on Wednesday, August 16



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Ye Olde Head RAZZberry



Replies:
Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: August 15 2006 at 2:25am

THANK GOD he wasn't singing in it or it would have been the WORST MOVIE EVER!!!

Response from Head RAZZberry: Technically, he doesn't sing...but he does do that ululating Indian war-whoop!



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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: ITbeast
Date Posted: August 15 2006 at 8:26am

Since I am a big William Shatner Fan (Bad or Good) I am willing to spend more than a penny (plus the shipping and handling) to get COMANCHE. I've heard such awful things about it, especially in RAZZ's Guide, that I have to experience the punishment myself!!! 

I decided to go for the 43 Cent "upgrade," and get a DVD sealed from the factory. The whole package, with price and shipping & handling, broken down in case anybody's interested:

Item Subtotal: $0.44
Shipping & Handling: $2.59
  -----
Total Before Tax: $3.03
Estimated Tax: $0.00
  -----
Grand Total: $3.03

I just paid $5.99 at Fry's for "Mommie Dearest: Hollywood Royalty Edition" (should have been "The Wire Hanger Edition") 2 weeks ago, so I consider this a pretty good price for my RAZZIE movie collection I just started 2 months ago.

 



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The "Networking IT" Movie Buff!

Words to live by:
"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger


Posted By: JoeBacon
Date Posted: August 15 2006 at 4:56pm
I have seen this aberration before! It's so bad it makes Shatner's other http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446693340/sr=1-1/qid=1155740679/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-2425905-1264811?ie=UTF8&s=books - RAZZIE MOVIE GUIDE title http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071654/ - IMPULSE look like "Gone With The Wind!"   

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2014 Pic: LEFT BEHIND Actor: NICHOLAS CAGE Director: VIC ARMSTRONG, DAMN THIS SHOULD WIN EVERY RAZZIE!!!!!


Posted By: ITbeast
Date Posted: August 16 2006 at 8:22am

My fellow RAZZIE members, if you have not checked out the http://www.tcm.com/thismonth/article/?cid=86471 - TCM  write up on "White Comanche" please do so. The authors "description" of the movie is almost as funny as Head RAZZberry's.


RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: And the TCM entry also has a postage-stamp-sized PHOTO of The Shat-Man in his Indian make-up as "Notah," the No-Good-Twin-Brother...



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The "Networking IT" Movie Buff!

Words to live by:
"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger


Posted By: Brierfox
Date Posted: September 01 2006 at 4:33pm
How far can a man fall after "The Anderson Trial"? 
 Shatners' excuse was that "Star Trek" didn't pay off untill later and he needed money to pay off debts.   Besides, "camp" and "spageti" westerns were all the rage.  Does everyone forget  that "Batman" was popular on TV at this time?  Shatner didn't sing in this movie, (yhank goodness) but Mr spock recorded a stupid song for Hulabaloo  and appeared on "Laugh-in" as well.  I remember this period all too well man,  everyone was on LSD (Lactic Stupid Drug), smoking maryjane and acting like it was all going to end tomorrow.  So no one tried to do anything seriously for about ten years.  Then when dooms day didn't arrive and the earth continued to spin, people sheepishly started to think about being good actors again.  Shatner started thinking, but never quite got the hang of it. 


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"We aren't in Kansas anymore Toto... Toto??"


Posted By: Brierfox
Date Posted: September 01 2006 at 4:36pm
OOPs, that was "The Andersonville Trial"  
Shatner recieved an award for this Kraft TV movie, based on the Trials of Confederate officers who oversaw the death of hundreds of Union POWs at Andersonville prison.


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"We aren't in Kansas anymore Toto... Toto??"


Posted By: fifth
Date Posted: January 22 2011 at 2:51am

Hey, I will definitely give this movie a trial because after reading this much about this movie I am tempted to watch this one. I will post my review after I watch it. I am happy to read about such movies at the Razzie Movie guide. Let me first see the White Comanche.



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hello


Posted By: cater
Date Posted: January 11 2012 at 1:41am
This movie I like!



Posted By: lucy520
Date Posted: February 27 2012 at 1:57am
I just paid $5.99 at Fry's for "Mommie Dearest: Hollywood Royalty Edition" (should have been "The Wire Hanger Edition") 2 weeks ago, so I consider this a pretty good price for my RAZZIE movie collection I just started 2 months ago.
 



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