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Miscellaneous Movie Jokes

Printed From: Official RAZZIEŽ Forum
Category: Well, EXCUSE ME!
Forum Name: Cinematic Stink Bombs!
Forum Discription: You Know You're Watching a RAZZIEŽ Movie When...
URL: http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1291
Printed Date: December 18 2014 at 12:18pm


Topic: Miscellaneous Movie Jokes
Posted By: MJ Narcy
Subject: Miscellaneous Movie Jokes
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 3:37am
Here's a forum for movie jokes that don't quite fit in the other forums.

Dust off your best movie jokes and let Hollywood have it.  Cool



Replies:
Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 3:40am
Here's a bizarre way of describing the taste of a bad wine.

"This wine taste like Gigli"


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 8:11am
I believe Weezer explains the problems Hollywood has in their song,
  "We Are All on Drugs."


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 8:45am
Behind me in line a coule years back at a $2 double feature:

"Isn't putting Gigli with a horror movie a bit redundant?"

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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 4:39pm

Not really.  A horror movie has better acting,  and writers who spend twice as long on the writing.  That's right, horror writers usually spend a good two minutes coming up with a plot.



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Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: September 03 2006 at 4:52pm
Paris Hilton

She makes up for her awful acting and awful singing with her awful behavior, awful judgement, awful face, awful body, and awful personality.

At least Mr. Brittney Spears, ...er..., Kevin Federline hasn't been in a movie that I'm aware of, yet.


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: September 04 2006 at 5:41am
Unless they release home movies of the conception...

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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: September 04 2006 at 6:00am
Thanks for giving me one more thing I'd rather not think about!


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Posted By: deadguy76
Date Posted: September 04 2006 at 11:56am

I think I'd rather watch Holocaust footage.



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"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: September 06 2006 at 5:03pm
The way movies are going these days...I'd rather watch Tony Saragusa in a jock strap bouncing on a diving board...


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: October 12 2006 at 3:11pm
I believe Fox News has said that Jessica Simpson was like cardboard.

Let's see, cardboard is bland; has no depth, talent, or intelligence; and is extremely difficult to digest.  That sounds just like anything Jessica Simple, ...er..., Simpson does.


Posted By: deadguy76
Date Posted: October 14 2006 at 9:51pm
Jessica Simpson also said she Emperor Bush and said he seemed like a nice man and a good president. So much for her IQ.

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"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: October 31 2006 at 1:35am
Here's a message to the makers of Saw III:

Cut that out,...er..., I mean, quit making the Saw movies.


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: October 31 2006 at 3:09am
Watching Gigli after a horror movie is...cruel and unusual punishment...


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: November 02 2006 at 8:00am
As a bell ringer for THE Salvation Army...I do say things off the wall to get people to contribute to my kettle... If someone mentions that it's cold out there...I usually say...it's not as cold as the movies this year...

If you hear that near the Red Rock Station at the Smith's...you will know it's me...


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: November 07 2006 at 1:21pm
Two rednecks talking to each other in line...

Why didn't you laugh at that movie done by Larry the Cable Guy???

They ran out of Bud Dry...

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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: December 03 2006 at 7:22am
If Tom Cruise ate fruitcake...would he be accused of cannibalism???

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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: deadguy76
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 4:30pm
How do you think he got that way? After all they say you are what you eat...

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"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76


Posted By: sportsartist24
Date Posted: December 08 2006 at 5:07pm
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton now the most dangerous friends in Hollywood. Hmmm...now they can get into being underwear models, or what ever it is. That was what was on the news like a couple days ago.

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The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: February 15 2007 at 4:49pm
Tara Reed, Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears.

Note to self:  Stay away from Paris Hilton if I want a career.


Posted By: deadguy76
Date Posted: February 19 2007 at 9:44am
I bet Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are looking at Britney saying: "Wow, now THAT woman is crazy!!!!"

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"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

http://www.myspace.com/deadguy76


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: February 19 2007 at 4:12pm
Brittney Spears almost makes Mike Tyson look normal.  Almost!


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: February 24 2007 at 7:25am
Here are some suggested name changes for Uwe Boll, AKA the worst movie director alive.

Uwel Hurl
Uwel Upchuck
Uwel Puke
Uwel Vomit
Uwe Suck
Uwe Stink
Uwe Bull-Hockey
Uwe Bull-Censored
Censored Uwe Boll
Ed Wood

Hey!  Top ten material!


Posted By: Razzilla
Date Posted: February 24 2007 at 1:10pm
George Lucas


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Comparing Uwe Boll's movies to a sack of horse manure will only get you sued by every fertilizer company in existence...


Posted By: Brierfox
Date Posted: May 06 2007 at 8:35am
Originally posted by MJ Narcy

Here are some suggested name changes for Uwe Boll, AKA the worst movie director alive.

Uwel Hurl
Uwel Upchuck
Uwel Puke
Uwel Vomit
Uwe Suck
Uwe Stink
Uwe Bull-Hockey
Uwe Bull-Censored
Censored Uwe Boll
Ed Wood

Hey!  Top ten material!

Uwel want your money back!


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"We aren't in Kansas anymore Toto... Toto??"


Posted By: Kendan
Date Posted: May 08 2007 at 4:52am

Uwel Laugh (at the cheesy dialogue)

Uwel Cry (because you spent $$ on this dreck)

Uwel Hurl (why else!)

Uwel Warn you friends (unless your a sadistic bastard!)

Uwel wish bodily harm on the director!



Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: May 13 2007 at 3:54pm
Can summer 2007 be any worse than summer 2006? 

Stay tuned for ...
More outrageous actors
More incompetent directors
More punishing movies and ...
More Razzie Awards


Posted By: Kendan
Date Posted: June 07 2007 at 8:28am
Oh boy, oh boy...I just can't wait!!!  Later, I'm goin for a root canal!  (Let's see, root canal or the latest from Uwe Boll? I can't decide!)


Posted By: MJ Narcy
Date Posted: July 25 2007 at 5:22am
Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears:  You know your life has taken a really bad turn when you make Paris Hilton look well behaved!   

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