Well, that was a good sleep. And it's not like I missed anything important last night.
Holy sh*t, I forgot to write my Resident Evil: Extinction review!!
After a "dumb fun" sequel not directed by Worthless Sh*t, he must have figured out the key to a not-terrible RE movie was a director who wasn't him So, he brought in Russell Mulcahy, director of the first two Highlander films. This backfired horribly and led to a Resident Evil even worse than the first one and the overall worst one until last month.
Oded Fehr is the lone bright spot in terms of acting and his death is awesome. When he gets bitten by a zombiefied LJ, he goes off in a truck and kamikazes a large group of zombies. Also, he's high while he does it.
Even though he's not as bad as he was in the last one, LJ is still annoying. There's one terrible thing involving him, but that belongs in the ugly category. The action scenes are pure crap. Mulcahy may be good with Scottish immortals, but he's not very good with zombies.
Ali Larter is pretty bad as Claire Redfield. Remember how Sienna Guillery took her performance seriously and how it helped the film? Well, Larter didn't give two sh*ts about her performance. She even said that she didn't play the videogames the films are based on. Milla Jovovich is terrible. And giving her an army of clones to play only makes things worse. Before I go on, I have a special anouncement: I'm splitting the ugly section into two parts. The first part is for non-Worthles Sh*t things that are really bad and the second is for Worthless Sh*t's many, many, many flaws. This section will be brought back for the other two Resident Evil reviews and all other Worthless Sh*t movies I review.
Remember how I mentioned something regarding LJ that was really terrible? Near the beginning of the film, he gets bitten by a zombie and becomes infected. And he doesn't tell anyone!! This eventually gets Carlos killed. Remember, Worthless Sh*t wrote this on his own, so this can't be blamed on other writers' ideas clashing with his. Worthless Sh*t steals from other films imputantly. The crow attack is lifted from The Birds and the scene where they try to get a zombie to play with blocks is ripped off from the scene in Day Of The Dead where they try to get a zombie to answer the phone. But, the biggest sin of Worthless Sh*t* is his Mary Sue-ification of Alice. He made LJ not tell anyone about his infection so he could kill Carlos off so he wouldn't steal the spotlight from Alice. He givers her psychic powers so she can be the bestest around. And he gives her a clone army so there can be more of her. The reason for this is obvious: Worthless Sh*t and Milla Jovovich are married with a kid IRL. It's nice that he gives his lead roles, but try to make them good roles.
Sienne Guillery was supposed to reprise her role of Jill, but she turned it down because she was working on Eragon. Reprising her role in this would actually have been a smarter career move! Grade: D
Next-up: Resident Evil: Afterlife!!
*not only in this movie, but the entire Resident Evil series and maybe all of his movies
Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken
Next-up: The Oogieloves