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STREET FIGHTER...or STREET WALKER??

Printed From: Official RAZZIE® Forum
Category: FORUMS on 2009 RELEASES
Forum Name: STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND of CHUN-LI
Forum Discription: Take One Cliche' from Column A, One from Column B...
URL: http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3489
Printed Date: November 22 2014 at 11:43pm


Topic: STREET FIGHTER...or STREET WALKER??
Posted By: HeadRAZZBerry
Subject: STREET FIGHTER...or STREET WALKER??
Date Posted: February 25 2009 at 5:27am

STILL RECUPERATING from HAVING JUST STAGED OUR http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3485&PN=1 - 29th ANNUAL RAZZIE SHOW (and STILL FIGHTING OFF a VICIOUS HEAD COLD) WE'RE GOING with SEVERAL FORUM MEMBERS' SUGGESTION for OUR WORST of the WEAK: A BY-the-NUMBERS  VIDEO-GAME-BASED ACTIONER from http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005647/ - the MAN WHO DIRECTED http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105483/awards - MELANIE GRIFFITH to HER FIRST WORST ACTRESS RAZZIE® 17 YEARS AGO, http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_topics.asp?FID=341&PN=1 - STREET FIGHTER: LEGEND of CHUN-LI ENTERS the FRAY WITH MULTIPLE STRIKES AGAINST IT. AND by YEAR's END, WE BET NO ONE BUT the PEOPLE INV OLVED in MAKING IT WILL EVEN REMEMBER IT EXISTED...

BUT FORGETTABLE CAN BE a REASONABLE CRITERIA for RAZZIE® CONSIDERATION. SO CONSIDER YOURSELVES INVITED: HAVE AT IT...

DUNCAN: "Next one who asks 'What the f**k happened to your career, man?' gets a cap right up his ass!!"

 



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Ye Olde Head RAZZberry



Replies:
Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: February 25 2009 at 5:32pm
Well, the sad thing about this movie, is I know it is gonna be crap, but that won't stop me from driving down to Ye Ol' Multiplex to see it on opening day, mainly because I see a movie every week, and this sadly looks to be the only one of the two wide releases that has even a slight shred of hope to be anywhere near decent... Watchmen better save this year.... otherwise, I may have to give up on movies.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: February 25 2009 at 5:54pm
Basically, this movie is a trainwreck. People know it's going to suck, but fans of the video game series will go see it anyway just to see how badly it'll suck. Plus, it's hard to turn down the supernatural beauty of Kristin Kreuk and Moon Bloodgood. By the way, this is the third video game movie Robin Shou has been in. The first two were "Mortal Kombat" (and it's much inferior sequel) and "DOA: Dead Or Alive". This is becoming his M.O., like Carmen Electra being in all the Seltzerberg movies.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: February 25 2009 at 10:24pm
Shouldn't movies be in quotes after the name Seltzerberg? I mean, can one seriously call that filth movies? :)


Posted By: Headbanger14
Date Posted: February 26 2009 at 1:28am

I actually do like Robin Shou as Lu Kang in the MK movies but the fact that there haven't been any good video game movies (with the exception of the first Mortal Kombat film) doesn't supress my hopes for this film.

"You come to theaters as a good movie, and instead turn out to be a horrible movie? Do you still refuse to accept this film's awfulness? Keep your own movie! In fact, this time may be a good time to pray that this film bombs! For I beheld Satan as he fell from Heaven like lightning!!!!!" Ah, Raul Julia. We'll miss you, old man.

Originally posted by Michaels

By the way, this is the third video game movie Robin Shou has been in. The first two were "Mortal Kombat" (and it's much inferior sequel) and "DOA: Dead Or Alive". This is becoming his M.O., like Carmen Electra being in all the Seltzerberg movies.



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Posted By: tomsmo35
Date Posted: February 26 2009 at 4:01am

Watchmen is already getting good reviews on RT, so I think it will be worth seeing. As far Street Fighter goes, I expect it's going to be beat by Those Jonas Brothers in 3D...  

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Well, the sad thing about this movie, is I know it is gonna be crap, but that won't stop me from driving down to Ye Ol' Multiplex to see it on opening day, mainly because I see a movie every week, and this sadly looks to be the only one of the two wide releases that has even a slight shred of hope to be anywhere near decent... Watchmen better save this year.... otherwise, I may have to give up on movies.



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Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 12:39am
I used to believe in trying to see a movie every week, but I just can't do it anymore in good conscience. H-Wood is screwing us in every way they can, and when we get over-saturated in this increasingly crass metaphor, they make like a Marquis de Sade story and open up new wounds to screw. It's just bad idea after bad idea with these people. Don't get me wrong, they still sneak a good one in here and there, but there are just SOOOOO many movies being made these days, and so much time and money is wasted on them.
This movie being a prime example. I LOVE Street Fighter games. I sold off over half of my old video games to buy Street Fighter II for the SNES when I was a kid, and I ended up paying like, $75 for it back then... Not a special edition or anything, just the game itself. That's just what it cost, and it was worth every penny to me. I broke a ton of controllers playing it, and even broke a TV playing it (Because Bison was such a bitch ). And then they started trying to make stories out of it...
There was the Street Fighter movie, which, when I was younger I forced myself to say "Well... uhhh... it wasn't THAT bad." My opinion has of course changed.
Then they came out with the American cartoon version, which I strongly urge you all to look up on YouTube. I didn't watch it when it was out, but looking at some clips, it made for some of the most monumentally awesomely bad TV in history. I put it in the "It's so bad, it's not good, it's great" category.
Then there was a Japanese cartoon, it was so-so, but no one ever saw it, and I got bored trying to watch it anyway.
Finally, we get to Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, which is pathetic even in the title. There's no "legend" about Chun Li, she's a girl from China who works for Interpol trying to bring down Bison (AKA Vega in Japan, they switched a bunch of names around for the American version) and that's it. She's not a mythical being from the Land of Wind and Ghosts. I have never understood the need to make obnoxious, cliche titles like this that don't actually suit the needs of subject matter. The timing of this movie alone baffles me, as Street Fighter's popularity peaked a LOOOONG time ago. There is the new Street Fighter IV just out now, and I've played it a tiny bit... It's good... but it's not going to be a game that revolutionizes the entertainment industry like the SFII series. So why are they even doing this now? I'd love an answer to that, I sure as Hell don't have one. I'm sure this movie will make some money because the Mike Judge Prophecies of Idiocracy seem to be coming true.

On an off note, some friends of mine and I went to see DOA in the theaters for kicks and giggles, and that was as bad as I'd hoped it was. I don't feel too bad about seeing that though, because I don't think it even broke $1m in the US. I've seen enough fighting game movies for my lifetime, I think.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 12:41am
Sorry for the double post, but I just read HeadRazz's picture caption. Comedic gold, good sir, I tip my hat to you.


Posted By: JakeSpeed
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 3:20am

Back before the dawn of recorded time... on the advice of one of my sisters who I was visiting at the time, I took her son out to see the first Street Fighter, on opening day if I remember.  I can only presume he hasn't forgiven either one of us to this day for subjecting him to that singular horror.

My nephew's well over 18 now, so if he goes out today to see this new one...it'll be his own damn fault!!


 



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Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 10:43am
There are no commercials for this movie nor any publicity...I think it'll bomb because I wouldn't have known this movie would be released this week if I didn't look at dates.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 1:41pm
I've seen plenty of commercials for it. It's also rockin a goose egg at RT.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 4:00pm
Another possible title for this movie could have been "Chung-Li: A Street Fighter Adventure". Or, if you want to be more blunt, "Chung-Li: A Failed Kristin Kreuk Star Vehicle".


Posted By: Headbanger14
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 4:42pm
Well, it's been about 24 hours and it ain't lookin' good on the RT site. 15 rotten, absolutely no fresh yet. TO THE DUMP IT GOES!


Posted By: Mayhem5185
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 5:02pm

I remember Roger Ebert saying that if Hollywood is going keep remaking movies, then they should start remaking bad movies instead of good ones, which I think is a good idea. That being said you know your movie sucks if critics are saying stuff like this:

"I much prefer the flamboyant badness of the '94 flick to the attractive, even-keeled mediocrity of this one. Jean-Claude Van Damme's stock just rose considerably."

"I can honestly say that this is hands down one of the worst films I have ever seen. Chris Klein is so bad that he made the movie a comedy."

"I'll take Jean-Claude Van Damme and his powder blue beret any day over this insipid, clunky, and joyless motion picture."

And, on a slightly unrelated note, how about the news of a "Total Recall" remake...??





 



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 5:29pm
Honestly, I didn't think that a movie could destroy my expectations so much. I mean, I was expecting it to be crap, but... **weeps like a little girl** Seriously...WHY? How could they make something so awful, and put it up on the screen like this? Did I miss the memo, and was Uwe Boll involved in this dreck?

I am embarrassed to say I even played a Street Fighter game after this. What horrors will Capcom release upon the world, if this movie actually makes money?

**Cries more at the thought of a live action Mega Man movie**

Someone, please kill me, and make the suffering end.

-just as a note, in case people are wondering/worried, this is not a real call for murdering me, and is instead used as an extreme indication of just how awful I found this movie.

I definitely think this deserves an early nod for Worst Picture. And Worst Supporting Actor for Chris Klein. If we're doing a worst reboot, this one deserves that one, too.

Could we just offer them an award for making Uwe Boll look like an Oscar contender? That alone is fairly noteworthy.


Posted By: Mayhem5185
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 6:46pm
CriticalFrank are you trying to get a best acting nomination, cause it's working.

Anyways, after seeing this clip, I think the only question that remains is can the live action DBZ movie fail any harder than this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hii-sskRD9M&feature=relat ed

And on a side note WTF IS CHRIS KLEIN DOING!!!

And for another side note, why do I keep getting a error message when I try to post?


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: February 27 2009 at 8:00pm
Originally posted by Mayhem5185

CriticalFrank are you trying to get a best acting nomination, cause it's working.

Anyways, after seeing this clip, I think the only question that remains is can the live action DBZ movie fail any harder than this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hii-sskRD9M&feature=relat ed

And on a side note WTF IS CHRIS KLEIN DOING!!!

And for another side note, why do I keep getting a error message when I try to post?


I'd like to thank the Academy. :-P

And honestly, I think Dragonball will fail as hard if not harder. Which is why after I see that one, I plan on disappearing into the woods for several days, and not emerging until my mind has been cleansed of the taint.

Why must all the crap movies come out around this time of the year?

As far as the errors, I get those on every other post. It's weird, but as long as my posts show, I'm happy.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 1:35am
Don't get me started on the "Dragonball" movie. Along with "Speedracer", it's just proof H-Wood has no clue on how to adapt Janapese anime. Why is it the only people in H-Wood who have a clue were the people behind "Sin City"; simply make the movie word for word and scene for scene indentical to the source material? At least with the upcoming "Astroboy", the producers had the common sense to keep it animated.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 2:38am
I don't think Chris Klein has ever done anything that I didn't hate... I mean, I liked American Pie at the time, but hated his character.

I think Michaels nailed it on the head with trying to give Kristen Kreuk a starring vehicle. I don't see it happening now.

And as for adapting anime, PERIOD, it's DUMB to try, unless it's slow moving, serious, and should've been made as a live action movie in the first place. I've seen the JAPANESE try to adapt anime to live action and it's some of the hokiest crap you will ever see. Dragonball will probably be even worse, much to my chagrin. I literally have Goku and Vegeta tattooed on my shoulders. I'm not as die-hard of a fan as you might expect, that being said, though the idea of making Dragon Ball stupier makes me personally feel stupider. Curse you, Chow Yun Fat!


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 5:39am
Originally posted by Mayhem5185


CriticalFrank are you trying to get a best acting nomination, cause it's working. Anyways, after seeing this clip, I think the only question that remains is can the live action DBZ movie fail any harder than this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hii-sskRD9M&feature=relat edAnd on a side note WTF IS CHRIS KLEIN DOING!!!And for another side note, why do I keep getting a error message when I try to post?


Oh mein gott, was ist diese ficktig scheisse ich bin sehen!! Aaaaackk... The more I see of this, the more it looks like a Xena ripoff... on the cheap. The camera angles and quality, acting aside, look like they were done for a school project. I take it back, this movie looks far worse than I originally thought. I feel sick... no, seriously, I do.


Posted By: thomsonmg2000
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 11:23am
How did 20th Century Fox greenlight this project in the first place? Such a hokey title and a crappy director. Is 20th Century Fox just trying to be the worst film studio?

Originally posted by Mayhem5185

I remember Roger Ebert saying that if Hollywood is going keep remaking movies, then they should start remaking bad movies instead of good ones, which I think is a good idea.



I agree. For example, I thought the Southland Tales had some great potential. It was just crappily executed.


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Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 11:46am
If Hollywood were to just start remaking the crappy movies, they could do years upon years of trying to remake Uwe Boll's films, and pretty much every video game movie. And then once those ones fail, they could remake them once again.

It would be like a perpetual cycle of Crap.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: February 28 2009 at 12:12pm

1. This reminds me of a bad joke: Sadly, "Street Fighter" was Raul Julia's last movie. Even more tragic, it's wasn't Jean-Claude Van Damme's last movie.

2. Yes, anime should stay animated because American live action or Japanese live action, it just doesn't translate well.

3. I heard that New Corp., the company that owns 20th Century Fox has lost 70% of its stock and its VP has quit his job. It may only be a matter of time before 20th CF is out of business, and judging by the crappy movies the studio puts out every month, that's no surprise. Problem is, wouldn't that mean LionsGate would take its spot among the big seven studios?

 



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 1:02am
Well, the movie is up to a perfect 0/20 so far... But the question still remains... will it make money? As terrible as it seems, I'm STILL seeing people who are like "Awww sweet! A Street Fighter movie!" And the friend of mine with whom I saw DOA is convinced that we're going to see it at some point.


Posted By: Headbanger14
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 2:33am
Originally posted by Michaels

1. This reminds me of a bad joke: Sadly, "Street Fighter" was Raul Julia's last movie. Even more tragic, it's wasn't Jean-Claude Van Damme's last movie.

Believe it or not, it wasn't his last LAST movie. He was also has a supporting role in Down Came a Blackbird.



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 2:55am
Didn't van Damme make some mockumentary about the direction his career took? I'm not seeing it on IMDB, but I like a person who's willing to recognize that they made serious career mistakes. I even don't hate that "Star-ving" show that David Faustino does on Hulu, despite some lazy writing.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 3:40am

Yes, it was "JCVD", which came out last year. Surprisingly enough, he got good reviews for it, even though he was playing a washed up action movie star named...Jean Claude Van Damme.

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Didn't van Damme make some mockumentary about the direction his career took? I'm not seeing it on IMDB, but I like a person who's willing to recognize that they made serious career mistakes.

 



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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)


Posted By: Berrynoia
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 9:23am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Well, the movie is up to a perfect 0/20 so far... But the question still remains... will it make money? As terrible as it seems, I'm STILL seeing people who are like "Awww sweet! A Street Fighter movie!" And the friend of mine with whom I saw DOA is convinced that we're going to see it at some point.

The box office numbers say BOMB.  And I wonder about their reactions to seeing this movie (if they did).

Oh, and about Dragonball...depending on what I hear about it, I may watch it...for unintentional laughs!



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Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 01 2009 at 2:20pm
Yep, poor Kristin Kreuk's star vehicle crashed big time. Only $4 millon ever three days. Ouch! Better luck next time; try a good script perhaps.


Posted By: thomsonmg2000
Date Posted: March 02 2009 at 10:54am
Originally posted by Berrynoia

Oh, and about Dragonball...depending on what I hear about it, I may watch it...for unintentional laughs!



Actually, from the few episodes of Dragonball I've seen, I thought a sizable amount of moments were intentionally funny.

I wouldn't be surprise if the DB producers purposely tried to get laughs in order to emulate the series, just like Batman & Robin.

Oh right...


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Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/


Posted By: thomsonmg2000
Date Posted: March 02 2009 at 11:01am
And, while we are talking about Dragonball.

Dragonball Evolution? My god, what a hokey title! And look at the people starring the the film. Justin Chatwin (who?), who starred Baby Genius 2? Not to mention the over $100 million spent!

And, to add on top of all of that, its being produced by 20th Century Fox! Man they have it hard


-------------
Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 02 2009 at 11:08am
Dragonball: Train Wreck Waiting to Happen, looks like it may be the only major release of that week... I am seriously pondering rethinking my "one movie a week" policy... I need to have at least SOME line that I refuse to cross, and after seeing several of the episodes of the TV series (it played in heavy rotation on Cartoon Network back when I was in college) this movie is going to be....awful isn't even the proper word here.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 03 2009 at 11:51am
For those unfamiliar with Akira Toriyama and Dragon Ball, the original series, Dragon Ball was meant to be an action/comedy from the beginning. The story begins with a kid who's been living on his own in the wild, and how he adapts to living in society. It was largely supposed to be funny, and for kids, but as the series progressed, it became more and more popular for the action sequences, and while still retaining some comedic moments, it eventually just turned in Dragon Ball Z, which came about due to the popularity of the over the top fighting. Now, the live action movie looks like it's trying to be a live/action movie... Which will DEFINITELY be terrible. Berrynoia, PLEASE don't pay to see it.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 03 2009 at 12:06pm
The question that hangs heavy on my mind is, will Dragonball manage to be worse then Street Fighter. Everything I've seen so far has pointed to a strong possibility, however my magic eight ball seems to think that the answer is a little hazy...

I honestly didn't think that Akira Toriyama would allow such a travesty to take place, but then again I also didn't think Capcom would allow their characters to be used in such a blasphemous way...

I'm beginning to think that what little faith I had in the integrity of people has truly been crushed.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 03 2009 at 12:50pm
Toriyama kinda wiped his hands of Dragon Ball after Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball GT, the third series, was carried out without his input and really his consent. He came in near the end to finish it up, because people hated the show so much. But honestly, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really doubt he had much to do with the live action movie at all. From what I can see on the IMDB page, he's only being credited as the original creator. He'll probably lucky to get royalties from it.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 12:10am
If I were Mr. Toriyama, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the movie either. If they offered me royalties for it, I'd refuse. Taking the money would be almost like tacit approval of the travesty...


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 12:58am
Will the "Dragonball" movie be worse than this "Chung-Li"? OF COURSE! If Toriyama washed his hands of the series after "Dragonball Z", he will be down to the bones of his hands after he sees this movie.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 1:22am
Wow, that's a pretty vehement "of course" there, Michaels... Come April, we shall see whether you are right or not...

In all honesty, you probably are...


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 12:43pm
With as an insurmountable task as being worse than Chun Li might seem, I'm fully confident that DBE will succeed with flying (pun intended) colors.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 12:52pm
Chun Li did set the bar of Suckage pretty high (or low as the case may be).

However Whiteboy Goku, like his Anime counterpart, will find some way to overcome the odds, and come out on top.

I can only pray, that this one will tank, so that it doesn't become a franchise, and doesn't open the door for "Naruto: Evolution" or "Cowboy Bebop: Evolution" or even "Trigun: Evolution".... The well of Anime for Hollywood to rape, runs deep my friends... Let us hope it gets covered with godspeed.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 1:41pm
Oh... You... Didn't know... They're making a Cowboy Bebop movie... Ummm... Wow, this is going to hurt your eyes ALOT when I tell you this... Keanu is set to be Spike... I really wish I was joking.

The IMDB page isn't set up for it, but here's an article... And making me tear up a little here for real, as I wasn't aware of this... the same article states an Akira and Ghost in the Shell are lined up, too...

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/07/22/fox-developing-cowboy -bebop-live-action-feature-film/


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 1:43pm
... Sorry, I don't see where it says Keanu on that page... But google it if you dare. I promise I'm not lying.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 04 2009 at 3:24pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Oh... You... Didn't know... They're making a Cowboy Bebop movie... Ummm... Wow, this is going to hurt your eyes ALOT when I tell you this... Keanu is set to be Spike... I really wish I was joking.

Lies, lies I say! Only Sam Rockwell can play Spike. It's a role tailor-made from him, only a decade ahead of time. 



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 05 2009 at 12:36am
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Say it's not so, dEd. Say it's not so! And Keanu as Spike? Is nothing sacred? Have the gods all forsaken us?

My brain can't even get up the nerve to explode this time...


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 05 2009 at 5:04pm
Yea... Yea...

*Wipes away a small tear*

Well, perhaps Michaels and I, and maybe you if you jump on the band wagon, will get our wish and Keanu will drop out and Rockwell will jump in. That is, if they go through with it.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 06 2009 at 12:01am
I'm hoping that instead of putting Sam Rockwell in the film, they will cancel it completely. Locking the film rights far away where no one will ever get ahold of them. Perhaps in a safe, wrapped in chains, and dumped into the deepest part of the ocean.

Possibly guarded by sharks and missle-armed submarines, so that if anyone ever tries to get their hands on the rights, they can be blown up good.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 06 2009 at 12:59am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

I'm hoping that instead of putting Sam Rockwell in the film, they will cancel it completely. Locking the film rights far away where no one will ever get ahold of them. Perhaps in a safe, wrapped in chains, and dumped into the deepest part of the ocean.

Possibly guarded by sharks and missle-armed submarines, so that if anyone ever tries to get their hands on the rights, they can be blown up good.

INDEED!



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 06 2009 at 7:27am
Perhaps they could send part of the rights up into space. No movie executive would ever manage to find them out there... and with a property like Cowboy Bebop, Space seems like a very appropriate place -- Perhaps Mars....

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 07 2009 at 1:35am
Maybe they could send the rights to the sun. Then, not only would they have to go in to space to get them, but they'd only be able to pick them up at night.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 07 2009 at 9:43am
If we send em to the sun, they'll get burned up, and they might try and get Smashmouth to get them, they did get pretty famous for "Walking on the Sun"...

Perhaps bottom of the ocean with the missile-armed subs would be the best course of action.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 07 2009 at 12:09pm
At least we'll never have to worry about the porn industry trying to make live action adapatations of Japanese hentai. If you don't know what "hentai' is, Google or Wikipedia it. It's too weird to explain.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 07 2009 at 12:45pm
C'mon, of course we'd have to worry about Hentai eventually... I mean, Evil Dead already tried the "tentacle" thing. Sure, it might have been a tree root or something, but the basic idea was there...

It will happen, Michaels.... bet on it.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 08 2009 at 2:00am
Hahaha... I think we'll at least be safe from "Guro" hentai for a while. If you don't know what THAT is... don't look it up. Sometimes it's better to be ignorant about some things.

And a quick fun fact while we're on the subject, the word "Hentai" itself, actually just means "Pervert."
(Japanese was my minor)


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 08 2009 at 2:27am
**holds back from commenting about Japanese and Minors**

And of course, what self respecting nerd wouldn't know that Hentai meant pervert? :P


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 08 2009 at 3:34am
Shall I take it a step further and point out that hentai about Japanese and minors is called "Rori-con" or "Loli-con" - a shortened way of saying "Lolita Complex?" I guess I just did.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 08 2009 at 6:34am
I find your knowledge of hentai to be quite disturbing... :)

Changing things up just a bit...

It would appear that Street Fighter has already fallen out of the top 10 at the box office. Wow... that was pretty damn fast...


Posted By: PopcornAvenger
Date Posted: March 09 2009 at 4:33pm

Hee-hee, it's only getting a 4% now at Rotten Tomatos.

So early in the year, and I think we have a contend-aw!

Rob Nelson of Variety actually gave it a fresh rating   .  I smell a payoff . . . .



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Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 09 2009 at 4:39pm
I try to say something positive about every movie I see. With Street Fighter, I came up with nothing... except for the fact that it didn't warp the very fabric of space and time like Speed Racer did... I swear Speed Racer lasted roughly 47 hours...


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 10 2009 at 7:29pm
SF looks like that kind of movie that could be so bad, you could get a larf out of the sheer stupidity. From the clips I've seen, Chris Klein's face HAS to have a laugh worthy moment at some point.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 10 2009 at 7:35pm
There was little to find humor in, other then the fact that some schlump at the studio actually greenlit this. I imagine after this abysmal failure of a film, he's probably been demoted to some menial task...

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Headbanger14
Date Posted: March 12 2009 at 10:14am

That's really weird. The sequel to Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat Annihilation has a 4% rating and now this sequel to a crap video game-based movie has a 4%.

Bet everyone that the new Dragonball Z movie gets a 4% as well



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 12 2009 at 8:43pm
Look up... what was it called... Look for like "Worst Screenwriting ever" on YouTube, and you get a 9 second clip from MK:A... Dear lord is it ever brilliant.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 13 2009 at 12:38am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Look up... what was it called... Look for like "Worst Screenwriting ever" on YouTube, and you get a 9 second clip from MK:A... Dear lord is it ever brilliant.

Not as bad as a pick-up line from "Shark Attack 3". Go ahead, look that up "worst line ever". Here's a hint, he goes something like this: "I'm a little wired, so why don't I take you home and eat your ...." Watch a clip to find out the rest, just typing it makes my head hurt.



Posted By: sportsartist24
Date Posted: March 15 2009 at 5:15pm

I would rather play those Martial Arts video games than see some of that put into a movie...



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The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 15 2009 at 8:30pm
Honestly, I think that in the right hands, they could make a fairly good movie, with the Street Fighter Brand, but it would take a rare alignment of stars and planets to bring about such a fortuitous event. I think it may just be time for people to admit that a Street Fighter movie, just isn't going to work...

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 16 2009 at 3:28am
Well, there's the inherent problem of making a movie about a fighting game... THERE'S NO F'IN STORY! It's people fighting! I mean, if you want to make a movie about people fighting, just make a Kung Fu movie, otherwise you need to take so many liberties with the plot that you're just naming the characters in your movie after someone else's work. It's like fan fiction, if you're aware of those monstrosities... Like the X-Files fans who write their own episodes and Mulder and Scully have sex every 5 minutes.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 16 2009 at 7:51am
There is a sort of story, to some of the modern fighting games... I can't say much in regards to Street Fighter though, I think I gave up on those after Street Fighter 2 Super Hyper Ultra Extra-Spiffy Deluxe Grande Cappuccino Edition.... 

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 16 2009 at 2:47pm
There isn't MUCH there, though.
Chun Li's story is literally this: Her father was killed by Bison, so she joins Interpol to track him down and bring him to justice. She was taught martial arts by her father, and doesn't have any real relationship with any other characters. She's only popular for being a prominent female character in a fighting game... That's the only reason you'd center it around her... Because she's a girl, so she stood out... There's no backstory to make a whole movie there.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 17 2009 at 12:57am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

There isn't MUCH there, though.
Chun Li's story is literally this: Her father was killed by Bison, so she joins Interpol to track him down and bring him to justice. She was taught martial arts by her father, and doesn't have any real relationship with any other characters. She's only popular for being a prominent female character in a fighting game... That's the only reason you'd center it around her... Because she's a girl, so she stood out... There's no backstory to make a whole movie there.


S'why they would need multiple characters to make a decent Street Fighter movie... But it would take a lot of work, and as many have said... A lot of work just isn't in the Hollywood playbook...

However, I figure give 'em another decade, and we'll see another attempt at a Street Fighter film.


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 18 2009 at 12:48pm
And from what I heard about the movie, they don't mention the actual Street Fighter tournament featuring Ryu and Ken until the very end of the movie. That's one movie that will never come to be, except perhaps straight to DVD. But yeah, when the video game you're adapting is a fighting game with no real story line, the only thing you really have to film is fight scene after fight scene.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 18 2009 at 1:39pm
I dunno who's a big fan of Adult Swim out there, but if you go to their website, they have a fighting game called, "Death Vegas" that's one of those "See the whole story through everyone's perspective" kinda things... As you beat it with one character, you're automatically changed to the next until you've beaten it with everyone... There's not MUCH story there, but they could make a little hour long cartoon movie out of it... That's about the only fighting game that I can think of that might work for anything... And again, I LOVE fighting games. They just don't have stories in them.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 12:26am
I think with very little effort to pad the story, that someone could make a very passable "Soul Calibur/Soul Edge" CG-movie... All kinds of stuff they could use for that one... There is a story to those games, and a nice bit of mythology to the whole concept... More then enough fodder to make a movie.... (Not that I would ever want such a thing to come about... just saying it could conceivably be done.)

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 1:10am
Well, too late... I just passed a cybercafe and I saw Michael Bay trolling through movie related sites for ideas, and I saw him looking at this page. Lo and behold, Soul Caliber the live action movie will be out in 3 months starring Sean Connery as Cervantes, Kim Kardashian as Taki, Hayden Christensan as Hwang, Devon Aoki as Sophitia for some reason, Antonio Banderas as Mitsurugi, The Rock as Rock, Morgan Freeman as Voldo, and Mark Hamill as Siegfried. Special guest appearance by Chow Yun Fat as Heihachi Mishima.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 1:16am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Well, too late... I just passed a cybercafe and I saw Michael Bay trolling through movie related sites for ideas, and I saw him looking at this page. Lo and behold, Soul Caliber the live action movie will be out in 3 months starring Sean Connery as Cervantes, Kim Kardashian as Taki, Hayden Christensan as Hwang, Devon Aoki as Sophitia for some reason, Antonio Banderas as Mitsurugi, The Rock as Rock, Morgan Freeman as Voldo, and Mark Hamill as Siegfried. Special guest appearance by Chow Yun Fat as Heihachi Mishima.


Good-bye cruel world....

**Jumps off a bridge, lands very shortly on a pile of film students**

Damn, all the film school students already beat me to it...


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 1:21am
Dream casting movies is so much fun.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 1:25am
Dream casting is one thing... Nightmare casting is another. In a related note, Michael Bay has just announced that Hulk Hogan will once again be acting in his upcoming Soul Caliber movie, playing "Nightmare"


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 2:00am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Well, too late... I just passed a cybercafe and I saw Michael Bay trolling through movie related sites for ideas, and I saw him looking at this page. Lo and behold, Soul Caliber the live action movie will be out in 3 months starring Sean Connery as Cervantes, Kim Kardashian as Taki, Hayden Christensan as Hwang, Devon Aoki as Sophitia for some reason, Antonio Banderas as Mitsurugi, The Rock as Rock, Morgan Freeman as Voldo, and Mark Hamill as Siegfried. Special guest appearance by Chow Yun Fat as Heihachi Mishima.

My word, that is quite possibly the worst cast ever put together! That's a low that only Michael Bay can achieve.



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 3:46am
That would be the greatest awesomely bad movie EEEEEEEEEEVER.
But I thought Nightmare was just Siegfried with Soul Caliber and a helmet? Hamill could swing that. Oh, and one more casting note: Jessica Simpson as Lizardman.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 11:46am
True Nightmare is just Siegfried, but I wouldn't want Mark Hamill doing double duty... Besides, I figure putting in a washed up wrestler would make it a much more "credible" movie :-P


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 3:39pm
I'm getting all kinds of mental imagines, like Sean Connery just kicking Hayden Christensan's butt all over the place, and Kim Kardashian and Devon Aoki having the worst chick fight in the history of movies since Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone in "Batman & Robin". My lord, it will be the biggest guilty pleasure yet and put the Razzie record of "I Know Who Killed Me" to utter shame!


Posted By: sportsartist24
Date Posted: March 19 2009 at 4:01pm
We probably won't be seeing Sean Connery doing that, because he doesn't want to come out of retirement, which was the reason why he didn't want to do Indiana Jones 4.

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The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 12:30am
There are some things that just beg one to come out of retirement. I think Sean Connery would definitely make that call in this case. It's a wonderful project!

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 1:49am
Sean Connery does need to make one last apperance in a film, otherwise "LXG" will be his last movie, and that would be leaving his career on a serious down-note.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 2:53am
Actually, I don't think the Kim Kardashian/Carmen Electra fight from Disaster Movie can really be topped. At least we'll THINK Devon looks like a badass because of Miho in Sin City.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 8:01am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Actually, I don't think the Kim Kardashian/Carmen Electra fight from Disaster Movie can really be topped. At least we'll THINK Devon looks like a badass because of Miho in Sin City.


I don't think there is anything that could make Devon Aoki look worth watching... Even her Sin City performance just annoyed me... But after her gag-inducing "DOA" performance, I suppose a Soul Calibur film could only be a step up.

As far as Sean Connery goes... After LXG, would YOU want to show your face around Hollywood?


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 10:37am

1. Oh yeah, I totally forgot about the Kim/Carmen fight from "DM" (can you really blame me?). That's the worst chick fight on film, ever. 2. "Sin City" was Devon's best performance ever! Why? Because she never spoke, which in her case, is a very good thing. 3. True, after "LXG", I would kinda undertand why Sean Connery would turn his back on H-Wood, much like Alan Moore did after seeing the film.



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 11:56am
Yeah, not talking is a good thing for Devon... not showing up in general would be a better role for her... Like if she did the voice of some mute character in a cartoon... That would be perfect for her.

And why can't Nic Cage take Sean Connery and Alan Moore's example, and just retire? Or is he trying for like an all-time run on crappy movies?


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 1:08pm
I'm wondering if Nic Cage isn't that Samson character from the Bible... As his hair goes away, so does his talent. I think he's waiting for full-on bald to retire.


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 2:21pm
I think Nic Cage works best when he is balding more. Take note, in "Leaving Las Vegas", no wig, he gets an Oscar win. In "Adaptation", he is given curly hair, Oscar nod. He wears long haired wigs, Razzie contendership! So going full-on bald might be the best thing for his career.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 20 2009 at 4:59pm
Buhhhh... I don't even want his career to rebound. He never did anything for me even when he didn't blow. Clear the way for someone who's never been given a fair shake. I want another Carrot Top movie.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 12:46am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Buhhhh... I don't even want his career to rebound. He never did anything for me even when he didn't blow. Clear the way for someone who's never been given a fair shake. I want another Carrot Top movie.
I'd take Nic Cage over Carrot Top movies any day... Or if you want to make it even worse, you could have Carrot Top and Nic Cage in a buddy flick, similar to Lethal Weapon. Nic Cage could play the Danny Glover part. I think I'm sitting on a gold mine here!


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 1:35am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

I'd take Nic Cage over Carrot Top movies any day... Or if you want to make it even worse, you could have Carrot Top and Nic Cage in a buddy flick, similar to Lethal Weapon. Nic Cage could play the Danny Glover part. I think I'm sitting on a gold mine here!

Someone make that movie! Sure, we at the Razzies will run buck wild on it, but damn, it will be the best guilty pleaure in years.



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 3:23am
I'm willing to bet that no one here saw Chairman of the Board... It was much better than I thought it would be, but then, I kinda like Carrot Top. And if you don't like Carrot Top, he can pretty much just tear you in half.
<img src="http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c189/derjagermeister/ Common%20Use/CarrotTop2.jpg">


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 3:24am
demmit...


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 8:02am
^ 'ROIDS! ^


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 21 2009 at 9:36am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

I'm willing to bet that no one here saw Chairman of the Board... It was much better than I thought it would be, but then, I kinda like Carrot Top. And if you don't like Carrot Top, he can pretty much just tear you in half.
<img src="http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c189/derjagermeister/ Common%20Use/CarrotTop2.jpg">


Carrot top can try and rip me in half... But there is no way in hell I am ever watching another movie with that doofy little guy in it.


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: March 22 2009 at 2:46am
Little?!?!?!? Look down to the next post after the one you quoted... That's NOT a photoshop, seriously!


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: March 22 2009 at 3:12am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Little?!?!?!? Look down to the next post after the one you quoted... That's NOT a photoshop, seriously!
I call anyone under about 6'5 little. Sure that picture may present a scary image, he'd still be little in my book.


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: coolinout1
Date Posted: March 27 2009 at 11:17am

In anticipation of the film, my friends and I rented the original "Street Fighter" film from 1994, although we knew the new film had no connection to it other than the "Street Fighter" name. While I liked that film as a child, seeing it again showed how much it had aged, but nonetheless, still provided the signature characters, costumes & fighting moves displayed in the game.
 
After seeing the television commercials for the "Legend of Chun-Li" film, I didn't really have any high hopes for the film, except for maybe the off-chance that it might surprise and be enjoyable. Additionally, hearing from friends and reviews that the film was really bad, I held off seeing it in theaters (03/12/09) until it got to that point where I thought theater owners would kick it out (after only two weeks). So, my friends and I decided to see it on that Thursday, not expecting any greatness.
 
And wow...it went so far below my low expectations that I didn't think it'd be possible. Seriously, you would think that the filmmakers intentionally wanted to ruin the "Street Fighter" name.
 

Acting, Kristin Kreuk was moderately okay as the title character. She had the feel of Chun-Li at some points, but that was boggled down by her cheesy dialogue and all those "strike a dramatic pose" moments in the film. Especially during a random club choreographed dance sequence where Chun-Li is supposed to seduce Cantana (yes, one of M. Bison's femme fatales).

The Black Eyed Peas' Taboo did not have much to do as Vega, except look the part and have a few throwaway lines. Michael Clarke Duncan did a better job as Balrog, compared to the 1994 actor, while the Neal McDonough's M. Bison was good, but not great.
 

Worst of all the actors, Chris Klein was tremendously horrible as Interpol cop Charlie Nash. From the odd-sounding delivery of his dialogue ("I love this job..."), to the "try-to-look-bad-ass" facial expressions and out-of-place romantic subplot with Moon Bloodgood's Maya Sunee, his character got the most laughs, jeers, and "I want to punch him so bad" responses from the theater audience, he really should be in the lead for Worst Supporting Actor at next year's Razzie Awards.
 

Visually, the film looked low budget. You would think that it'd at least look nice on the theater screen, but no. My friend even asked me, "This looks like a DVD movie!" Plotwise, it's very simplistic, and I guess they did manage to find a way to fill the 1 hour and 20-so minutes. The fighting scenes (which happened after gaps of exposition) seemed to be the only good thing about the film. Overall, the film disappointed beyond my beliefs. While it wasn't the worst film I've seen (I give that honor to a tie between "House of the Dead" and "The Wedding Date"), I'm really saddened that another possible-film franchise has gone down even before it had a chance.
 

To end my review, enjoy a sample of the "Do the screenwriters really believe people will enjoy this?" dialogue:
 
Gen (Chun-Li's master, training her to fight, and has pulled her arm behind her back): "Why are you ANGRY?"
Chun-Li: Because you're hurting meee!
Gen: You are only hurting yourself.



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FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:



WORST PICTURE
The Resident


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: July 02 2009 at 11:54am
I didn't notice until just now, but this puppy was sitting at 4% on RT.

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-Iron helps us play-



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