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This One Looks Seriously SCROOGED...

Printed From: Official RAZZIE® Forum
Category: FORUMS on 2009 RELEASES
Forum Name: GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST
Forum Discription: Who Exactly Is the Audience Supposed to Be for This Dreck??
URL: http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3608
Printed Date: October 23 2014 at 12:13pm


Topic: This One Looks Seriously SCROOGED...
Posted By: HeadRAZZBerry
Subject: This One Looks Seriously SCROOGED...
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 3:29am

THIS ONE RIPS OFF ELEMENTS from SO MANY SOURCES, IT'S LIKE SOME KIND of SPONTANEOUS REACTION in the DUMPSTER BEHIND a SKIN-GRAFTING LAB...

TAKING ITS BASIC PREMISE from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0001544/plotsummary - DICKENS' A CHRISTMAS CAROL , http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_topics.asp?FID=353 - GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST GRAFTS the IDEA of GHOSTLY VISITATIONS onto a FRAMEWORK of FORMULAIC ROM-COM CLICHE's to PRODUCE a MOVIE WE'RE FAIRLY SURE ALMOST NO ONE WILL WANT to SEE...EXCEPT MAYBE MASOCHISTIC RAZZIE® VOTERS.

AND the FACT THAT IT FEATURES TWO FORMER RAZZIE® NOMINEES AMONG ITS CAST ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105391/awards - MICHAEL DOUGLAS -- LOOKING 108 YEARS OLD -- and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106453/awards - ANNE ARCHER ) ONLY ADDS to ITS WOES.

JUST AS LIKELY an OUTCOME as THIS GETTING a HANDFUL of NOMINATIONS at YEAR's END IS the THOUGHT THAT IT COULD BE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN by THEN.

BUT, WHILE ITS TRANSGRESSIONS ARE STILL FRESH in YOUR MIND, WHY NOT TAKE the OPPORTUNITY to EXPRESS HOW PISSED YOU ARE THAT SOMETHING LIKE GIRLFRIENDS PAST EVER CAME to BE MADE...

McCONAUGHEY: "Since you've got experience, Mr. Douglas, I thought maybe you could tell me -- What's it like being a RAZZIE® nominee??"



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Ye Olde Head RAZZberry



Replies:
Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 5:01am
Did you know McConaughey's next movie is a comedy?


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 5:21am

I think this technically is supposed to be a comedy.

But I have to say, to Family Guy's credit, I imagine sitting down and talking to McConaughey is probably EXACTLY the way Stewie's conversation played out -- He's really terrible.



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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Movie Man
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 5:37am
Sounds interesting, I may have to check this one out.


Posted By: saturnwatcher
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 5:42am
The title of this movie alone is enough to send chills up my spine. Maybe it is just a personal reaction: "Ruh roh! Somebody found the bodies!"

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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 5:57am
I can assure you, if I made a movie called "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"... well, it would be a bit different. With a lot more chainsaws.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: saturnwatcher
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 6:03am

Sounds like we could maybe collaborate on one of the great action thrillers in cinematic history.



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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 8:06am
I'm convinced that every studio in H-Wood has at least one screenwriter whose sole job requirement is to think up new twists to "A Christmas Carol". Because no matter how many versions and adaptations of that story have been made, H-Wood just HAS to make a few dozen more.


Posted By: movieman
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 9:26am
Remember back when Matthew McConaughey was known for his acting and
not his body?


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 11:41am

I was planning on pitching a movie to the major studios: Basically, Michael Bay wants to remake the Leprechaun movies, and is visited by Warwick Davis, who then shows him the past, present and future of his career. It's a brilliant way to showcase clips of past Michael Bay projects, current Michael Bay projects, and potential future project concepts.

Suffice to say there will be plenty of explosions.


Originally posted by Michaels

I'm convinced that every studio in H-Wood has at least one screenwriter whose sole job requirement is to think up new twists to "A Christmas Carol". Because no matter how many versions and adaptations of that story have been made, H-Wood just HAS to make a few dozen more.



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: sportsartist24
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 3:53pm

He (Michael Bay) has returned in the director's seat for the upcoming Transformers sequel titled Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, coming to theaters June 24.



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The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.


Posted By: RoadDogXVIII
Date Posted: April 28 2009 at 4:03pm
HeadRAZZ is sure on top of things. I was just gonna report that the film was sitting at 20% on Rotten Tomatoes. Seems like it might be a contender.

Also of note, news was out that Matthew McConaughey also expressed interest in playing Captain America in a forthcoming project based on the superhero, then in The Avengers. Let the fanboy bashing begin.


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You think you know, but you have no idea.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:13am
Originally posted by movieman

Remember back when Matthew McConaughey was known for his acting and
not his body?


Nope.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:25am

Because, it never happened... Good call, dEd.  

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Originally posted by movieman

Remember back when Matthew McConaughey was known for his acting and
not his body?


Nope.




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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:36am
Family Guy suggested that the high point of Matthew McConaughey's career was Dazed and Confused. Wasn't he the guy who said, "I love high school girls. I keep getting older, and they keep stayin the same age." That's a point of pride. I hope that's on his tombstone.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:52am
If that is the high point of his career, then there are some serious issues with his career. Perhaps someone should take it off life support.


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 2:38am

Sadly, as long as they keep putting Jessica Alba's sexy @$$ in movies to draw in the dudes, they're gonna put Matt's mentally challenged one in for the ladies.

Originally posted by CriticalFrank


If that is the high point of his career, then there are some serious issues with his career. Perhaps someone should take it off life support.



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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 3:34am

Not only do we (the Razzies) know Transformers 2 is coming, but I'm banking on there being a forum for it as Worst Movie of the Weak.

Originally posted by sportsartist24

He (Michael Bay) has returned in the director's seat for the upcoming Transformers sequel titled Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, coming to theaters June 24.



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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 9:46am
It may get Worst of the Weak, but I can guarantee that I will be there opening day. I grew up on the transformers, and there is a soft spot in my heart for those giant robots...


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 12:14pm
As much as I hated the live action Transformer movie (which I've only seen the first half of, and at my friend's house for free), it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 1:07pm

I, too, have a soft spot for giant fighting robots. However, I would have enjoyed the first movie more if the Transformers actually looked anything like what they did in the old cartoon series (because I had no clue who or what I was looking at), and if 90% of the movie wasn't wasted on bad, campy humor, and if Shia Lebeouf didn't spend most of his screen time yelling "No, no, no, no, no, no!", and if the camera wasn't zooming in constantly on Megan Fox's bare tummy. No, wait, I liked that last part! But everything else killed the movie for me.

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

 
Transformers 2 may get the worst of the weak, but I can guarantee that I will be there opening day. I grew up on the transformers, and there is a soft spot in my heart for those giant robots.

 



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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 1:45pm
Studies show that 97/100 ghosts of girlfriends past are created when ex-girlfriends are destroyed by giant fighting robots.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: sportsartist24
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 2:05pm

Dazed and Confused was also the beginning of the career of Ben Affleck. In that movie, he was that one bully who would take a paddle and smack the freshman's @$$ (or whatever). That scene was spoofed in a Family Guy episode.

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Family Guy suggested that the high point of Matthew McConaughey's career was Dazed and Confused. Wasn't he the guy who said, "I love high school girls. I keep getting older, and they keep stayin the same age." That's a point of pride. I hope that's on his tombstone.

 



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The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.


Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: April 29 2009 at 2:12pm

Damn! I just realized Mark Waters directed this -- WHY?!

He has made excellent films so far for his directing run! Now he ruins it with this film!!!!! 

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: I must admit that Waters' credit on this film was a factor in my hesitation to pick it as Worst of the Weak -- But the lame-looking, laugh-free TV ads, combined with the numbers over at RT ( http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1193906-ghosts_of_girlfriends_past/ - LINK ) finally convinced me...

 



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Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: April 30 2009 at 9:57am
Originally posted by Michaels

I, too, have a soft spot for giant fighting robots. However, I would have enjoyed the first movie more if the Transformers actually looked anything like what they did in the old cartoon series (because I had no clue who or what I was looking at), and if 90% of the movie wasn't wasted on bad, campy humor, and if Shia Lebeouf didn't spend most of his screen time yelling "No, no, no, no, no, no!", and if the camera wasn't zooming in constantly on Megan Fox's bare tummy. No, wait, I liked that last part! But everything else killed the movie for me.



The fact that they looked nothing like the old cartoons didn't bother me much at all, the old designs would have looked really out of place in the real world. And honestly, I think the majority of the humor in the cartoon was of the bad/campy variety. Shia Lebafoon, is definitely a detriment to the film. Honestly though, I think the biggest complaint I had with the film, was that it was like 90% people, 10% Giant Robots... There wasn't enough "Transformers" to really earn the Transformers name.




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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: movieman
Date Posted: April 30 2009 at 11:13am

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The guy who directed the dementedly funny Mean Girls and Freaky Friday actually degraded himself with
this?! This is like finding out your charismatic priest is a child molester -- I am so disappointed with him!   

Originally posted by moviewizguy

Damn! I just realized Mark Waters directed this --
 WHY?!


He has made excellent films so far for his directing run! Now he ruins it
with this film!!!!! 



 




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Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: April 30 2009 at 1:45pm

So far, I'd rate all of Mark Waters' films above average (8/10, 9/10, 10/10). So I was surprised...



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Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 01 2009 at 12:01am
Originally posted by movieman

 This is like finding out your charismatic priest is a child molester -- I am so disappointed with him.


Finding out your priest is a child molester? So... this is something you pretty much knew all along, or at least suspected?


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: movieman
Date Posted: May 01 2009 at 12:15am

I meant as in someone who you looked up to and admired...until the child molester thing.

 



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Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 01 2009 at 10:27am

I've never seen Mean Girls, but I'm under the impression it was a fairly decent movie for what it was. It's just that I don't fit into the demographic that it was made for.

Freaky Friday looks pretty horrible though.



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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 12:14am
Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Originally posted by movieman

 This is like finding out your charismatic priest is a child molester -- I am so disappointed with him.


Finding out your priest is a child molester? So... this is something you pretty much knew all along, or at least suspected?


Perhaps a better profession to mention would have been teacher, or doctor, then


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 1:26am
Ummmm... Teacher's are hardly safe for that metaphor either. That is, if she's hot and has emotional issues and your sense of being a "bad boy" has hit its peak by age 13. You know, those children who don't really mind being molested.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 1:34am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Ummmm... Teacher's are hardly safe for that metaphor either. That is, if she's hot and has emotional issues and your sense of being a "bad boy" has hit its peak by age 13. You know, those children who don't really mind being molested.


Safer then a priest... Heck, I'd probably trust my kid with a mass-murderer, or Michael Bay before I trusted my kid anywhere near a priest...Not that I actually have a kid or anything...


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 1:38am
I'm pretty sure Michael Bay is a reassigned priest. From the church of Satan, perhaps. He's certainly made some sort of deal with the devil.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 3:45am
Don't you find it funny that this film was like 9% on RT the first day and Wolverine was 100% on the first day. Now the former has a 32% and the latter has a 36%.


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 5:09am
These things have a way of balancing themselves out, but I still would like to point out that the positives for GoGFP read something like this:

* As a romcom, it's average, but as a Matthew McConaughey romcom, it's above average. If you're a low-expectations moviegoer, this one might surprise you.

* In a movie as spiritless and stupid as this, you can't help but look for clues you've hit bottom.

* Ghosts of Girlfriends Past doesn't do Dickens any favors, but in a year that brought us Bride Wars, it'll do.

* Ghosts of Girlfriends Past might be one of the most unoriginal films ever made, but it works anyway.

* Comfort zones don’t come much plusher than the one habitually occupied by Matthew McConaughey, who must read the words “arrogant, torso-flaunting alpha male” in script synopses and think: “That’ll do.”

There are a few nicer ones, but ultimately you'll pick up a lot of backhanded compliments.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: saturnwatcher
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 6:35am

Originally posted by moviewizguy

Don't you find it funny that this film was like 9% on RT the first day and Wolverine was 100% on the first day. Now the former has a 32% and the latter has a 36%.

No, because you are making the same mistake I called you on before: You are drawing assumptions based upon data sets that are too small to draw valid conclusions. You can't really spot legitimate trends until at least 30 or so reviews are posted. Ten or 12 just isn't a large enough data set.



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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken


Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 7:38am
Originally posted by saturnwatcher

Originally posted by moviewizguy

Don't you find it funny that this film was like 9% on RT the first day and Wolverine was 100% on the first day. Now the former has a 32% and the latter has a 36%.

No, because you are making the same mistake I called you on before: You are drawing assumptions based upon data sets that are too small to draw valid conclusions. You can't really spot legitimate trends until at least 30 or so reviews are posted. Ten or 12 just isn't a large enough data set.

You take things too seriously now. I'm not saying that because I'm assuming. I'm saying that because I find it funny because two seemingly polar-reacted films would end up in almost the same rating. I thought that was apparant. And what are you saying? Both of the films have more than 30 reviews...



Posted By: saturnwatcher
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 7:47am
They do now. At the point where there was a significant discrepancy in their numbers, there were comparatively few reviews for either. Admittedly I don't have the first clue as to what "polar-reacted" means, but based upon early buzz, I don't find it surprising that these two films are garnering similar critical reaction, in effect, both are generating mostly negative responses. However you may wish to spin it, there simply is no conclusion to be drawn from the fact that in the early going with very few reviews posted, there was a wide difference between their R.T. scores, or that their respective scored ended up similar; unless you wish us to come to the astonishing conclusion that a large percentage of professional film critics are just as apt to dislike a bad action film as they are to dislike a bad chick flick.

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Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 02 2009 at 9:43am
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

These things have a way of balancing themselves out, but I still would like to point out that the positives for GoGFP read something like this:

* As a romcom, it's average, but as a Matthew McConaughey romcom, it's above average. If you're a low-expectations moviegoer, this one might surprise you.

* In a movie as spiritless and stupid as this, you can't help but look for clues you've hit bottom.

* Ghosts of Girlfriends Past doesn't do Dickens any favors, but in a year that brought us Bride Wars, it'll do.

* Ghosts of Girlfriends Past might be one of the most unoriginal films ever made, but it works anyway.

* Comfort zones don’t come much plusher than the one habitually occupied by Matthew McConaughey, who must read the words “arrogant, torso-flaunting alpha male” in script synopses and think: “That’ll do.”

There are a few nicer ones, but ultimately you'll pick up a lot of backhanded compliments.


I'm still looking for the review that says "Well, at least I survived through the film... I think that's a plus" or perhaps "I didn't want to drive railroad spikes through both my eyes afterward, just the left eye would do." Or how about "The opening credits looked decent, but my wife started to choke before the movie really got started, so I had to leave."


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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 1:43am
I think MWG was just pointing out that because the earliest reviews of Wolverine were so favorable, it's funny that it's now ranked at the about the same level as what's undoubtedly one of the stupidest looking movies in all of history. (Actual scores be damned... This move looks like it deserves single digits.) And to be honest, I kind of agree. It is funny that Wolverine has fallen over 60% since the beginning... That the earliest reviews were ALL positive, and now that's nearly completely inverted.
But I also entirely agree with you in that you can't definitively judge something without having a thorough and comprehensive data set to work with... Whether it be RT reviews, or how well a US president is actually doing based on his first three months in office (*Ahem to both parties*).

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 10:13am

Why? Could you tell me this? Of all people, I'm the one that doesn't judge movies by their trailers (well, sometimes, I do, but you get my point). And it's funny that you say that, since there's one particular user here who does judge movies because of low ratings on RT.



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Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 11:45am
Originally posted by moviewizguy

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

But I also entirely agree with you in that you can't definitively judge something without having a thorough and comprehensive data set to work with... Whether it be RT reviews, or how well a US president is actually doing based on his first three months in office (*Ahem to both parties*).


Why would you tell me this? Of all people, I'm the one that don't judge movies on their trailers (well, sometimes, I do, but you get my point). And it's funny that you say that, since there's one particular user here who does judge on movies because of low ratings on RT.



And once again, the Point just SAUNTERS right past him... What an egotistical jerk that Point is...

The point was that if one person tells you a movie was good, that doesn't mean it's good. If 10 people do, who have at least slightly different tastes or backgrounds, then you might actually be on to something.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 12:49pm

[QUOTE=dEd Grimley]

And once again, the Point just SAUNTERS right past him... What an egotistical jerk that Point is...

[QUOTE]

 

One of these days someone will teach The Point some damned manners, and possibly surgically remove the stick from his ass. Until that day comes, I shall shun The Point like there is no tomorrow! Shun....Shun....SHUUUUUUUUUUN!!



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 10:58pm
I heard he was engaged to that Señora Obvious, but somehow I feel like he'd be settling.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: moviewizguy
Date Posted: May 03 2009 at 11:37pm
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Originally posted by moviewizguy


Why would you tell me this? Of all people, I'm the one that don't judge movies on their trailers (well, sometimes, I do, but you get my point). And it's funny that you say that, since there's one particular user here who does judge on movies because of low ratings on RT.



And once again, the Point just SAUNTERS right past him... What an egotistical jerk that Point is...

The point was that if one person tells you a movie was good, that doesn't mean it's good. If 10 people do, who have at least slightly different tastes or backgrounds, then you might actually be on to something.

I think we're talking about two different things.



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 04 2009 at 3:27am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

I heard he was engaged to that Señora Obvious, but somehow I feel like he'd be settling.

Señora Obvious is a nice girl. Sometimes the things she says seem a little pointless, but she means well. I don't think he'd be settling at all.

 



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 04 2009 at 3:47am
Originally posted by moviewizguy

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Originally posted by moviewizguy


Why would you tell me this? Of all people, I'm the one that don't judge movies on their trailers (well, sometimes, I do, but you get my point). And it's funny that you say that, since there's one particular user here who does judge on movies because of low ratings on RT.


And once again, the Point just SAUNTERS right past him... What an egotistical jerk that Point is... The point was that if one person tells you a movie was good, that doesn't mean it's good. If 10 people do, who have at least slightly different tastes or backgrounds, then you might actually be on to something.


I think we're talking about two different things.



Clearly.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 06 2009 at 2:47pm
I think for the next Christmas Carol revamping, it's time to have a story about a supervillain who is shown what his life would have been like if he didn't arch superheroes. There you go, the joining of two H-Wood trends, comic book movies and Christmas Carol adaptations.


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 06 2009 at 4:11pm

Originally posted by Michaels

I think for the next Christmas Carol revamping, it's time to have a story about a supervillain who is shown what his life would have been like if he didn't arch superheroes. There you go, the joining of two H-Wood trends, comic book movies and Christmas Carol adaptations.

If they do that, I hope they have the foresight to involve Dr. Doom in the Scrooge role... I think that would be the perfect Super Villain Scrooge...  I dub it "A Doom-mas Carol."

And yes... I chose it just because it sounds vaguely like A Dumb Ass Carol...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 07 2009 at 11:36pm
Have they ever done a Romeo and Juliet Christmas Carol?

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 1:07am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Have they ever done a Romeo and Juliet Christmas Carol?

I'm sure there's a screenwriter locked in a studio closet trying to think how to pull that one off so the studio heads will let him out of the closet.



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 4:52am
Originally posted by Michaels

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Have they ever done a Romeo and Juliet Christmas Carol?

I'm sure there's a screenwriter locked in a studio closet trying to think how to pull that one off so the studio heads will let him out of the closet.

Isn't that the constant strugle in Hollywood? Always trying to get out of the closet...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 11:50am
Yes... You can do that or join the church of Scientology.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 4:38pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Yes... You can do that or join the church of Scientology.

And joining the Church of Scientology is always preferable to coming out of the closet... Just ask Tom Cruise.



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 5:13pm

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

And joining the Church of Scientology is always preferable to coming out of the closet... Just ask Tom Cruise.

Well, he has a list of very certain goals, in this order:

1. Make Scientology mainsteam.

2. Convince the world your marriage and child are legit.

3. Keep Katie's career from outshining your own.

4. Win a Oscar.

5. Go on Oprah again, try to come across as being sane.



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 08 2009 at 6:53pm
Originally posted by Michaels

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

And joining the Church of Scientology is always preferable to coming out of the closet... Just ask Tom Cruise.

Well, he has a list of very certain goals, in this order:

1. Make Scientology mainsteam.

2. Convince the world your marriage and child are legit.

3. Keep Katie's career from outshining your own.

4. Win a Oscar.

5. Go on Oprah again, try to come across as being sane.

6. Convince the world that he is straight

7. Convince the world that psychology and psychiatric drugs are a total sham.

8. Not covet John Travolta's ass....



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 09 2009 at 1:44am
I did some research on dianetics, and basically the idea is to solve all of your problems through a form of semi-hypnosis. You sort of let yourself go into a trance, and the person who "hypnotises" you basically just asks you to start talking about your problems, and by airing them out, you sort of "cleanse" yourself of them. When that wasn't accepted as a scientific tool, Hubbard came up with the mythos for Scientology with the Xenus and the aliens and the hydrogen bombs and the Jell-O Pudding.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 09 2009 at 6:25am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

I did some research on dianetics, and basically the idea is to solve all of your problems through a form of semi-hypnosis. You sort of let yourself go into a trance, and the person who "hypnotises" you basically just asks you to start talking about your problems, and by airing them out, you sort of "cleanse" yourself of them. When that wasn't accepted as a scientific tool, Hubbard came up with the mythos for Scientology with the Xenus and the aliens and the hydrogen bombs and the Jell-O Pudding.

Jell-O pudding is involved? Seriously? That officially makes the "religion" the best religion EVER! How many other religions can boast Jell-O? I mean sure... the various Christian sects may be able to boast that they have wine involved, but they have no Jell-O! The aliens and Hydrogen bombs are just frosting on the cake.



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 09 2009 at 8:44am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

I did some research on dianetics, and basically the idea is to solve all of your problems through a form of semi-hypnosis. You sort of let yourself go into a trance, and the person who "hypnotises" you basically just asks you to start talking about your problems, and by airing them out, you sort of "cleanse" yourself of them.

But, that's a form of psychology, and they are against psychology. And I thought Christians were a confused bunch! 



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 09 2009 at 9:32am
There stance against psychology is just a form of reverse psychology. It's gotta be.

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 09 2009 at 12:08pm
You were supposed to read that last sentence like Bill Cosby, but I guess their argument would be that it's not psychology because they're not trying to understand the problems, just let them out.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 10 2009 at 7:01am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

You were supposed to read that last sentence like Bill Cosby, but I guess their argument would be that it's not psychology because they're not trying to understand the problems, just let them out.

They just want to talk about the problems... in my experience, that is half of what psychology is, people talking about their problems, while someone else sits there saying "Mm-Hmm" and nodding his head...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 10 2009 at 6:46pm
Yea, but theoretically a psychologist is going to say something deep and profound after the fact. Like, "It's all your mom's fault."

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 11 2009 at 12:14am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Yea, but theoretically a psychologist is going to say something deep and profound after the fact. Like, "It's all your mom's fault."

Yes, but since that is already assumed, the Scientologists save you time, by not bothering with that small bit of information... and instead saying it is all the Thetans fault.... or whatever the hell it is Scientologists believe cause all the world's problems...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 11 2009 at 9:57am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Yea, but theoretically a psychologist is going to say something deep and profound after the fact. Like, "It's all your mom's fault."

Oh, you mean like on the Simpsons when the cause of all of Ned Flanders' anger is because he hates his beatnick parents?



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 11 2009 at 7:01pm
Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Yea, but theoretically a psychologist is going to say something deep and profound after the fact. Like, "It's all your mom's fault."


Yes, but since that is already assumed, the Scientologists save you time, by not bothering with that small bit of information... and instead saying it is all the Thetans fault.... or whatever the hell it is Scientologists believe cause all the world's problems...



Yea, it's the Thetans... the corrupt souls of alien ghosts.

And yes, just like the "lousy beatniks."

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 12 2009 at 12:29am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley



Yea, it's the Thetans... the corrupt souls of alien ghosts.

And yes, just like the "lousy beatniks."

So, the Thetans are like Alien beatnik ghosts?

Damn scientology is freaky...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 14 2009 at 3:23am
Yes... The Thetans attach themselves to your body and say things like, "Skiddly-bop-bop-bow... You should eat to forget about your problems, baaaaby... Your life is a *click-click* waste... You oughta be gay, daddy-o"

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 14 2009 at 10:26am
Someone call the Ghostbusters... We need them to get rid of the damned beatnik ghosts that are living inside my head...

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 14 2009 at 11:44am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Someone call the Ghostbusters.

I believe they already are ... in order to make a reboot of the series in the upcoming years.



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 14 2009 at 11:54am
More childhood memories to rape and destroy.... or possibly, they will do it right... probably the former.

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 14 2009 at 7:13pm
Prediction for the new Ghostbusters:

Ryan Reynolds : Peter Venkmen
Dane Cook : Ray Stantz
Ashton Kutcher : Egon Spengler
Kenan Thompson : Winston Zeddmore
Matthew McConagagagahey : Louis Tully
Brenda Song : Janine
Hannah Montana : Dana Barrett


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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 1:54am
Fortunately, from what I heard, the next Ghost Busters movie is actually reuniting the old cast... So I do not have to look at your suggestions, and weep.

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 2:19am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Prediction for the new Ghostbusters:
Ryan Reynolds : Peter Venkmen
Dane Cook : Ray Stantz
Ashton Kutcher : Egon Spengler
Kenan Thompson : Winston Zeddmore
Matthew McConagagagahey : Louis Tully
Brenda Song : Janine
Hannah Montana : Dana Barrett

(Falls into a fetal position and weeps).



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 3:46am
Originally posted by Michaels

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Prediction for the new Ghostbusters:
Ryan Reynolds : Peter Venkmen
Dane Cook : Ray Stantz
Ashton Kutcher : Egon Spengler
Kenan Thompson : Winston Zeddmore
Matthew McConagagagahey : Louis Tully
Brenda Song : Janine
Hannah Montana : Dana Barrett

(Falls into a fetal position and weeps).

Just keep telling yourself it isn't real... It should help a little bit.



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 8:45am

Originally posted by CriticalFrank

Just keep telling yourself it isn't real... It should help a little bit.

That still won't change the fact the studios might go ahead and cast that putrid list of hacks.



Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 1:08pm
They do tend to listen to me. I didn't want to say anything before, but I'm the driving force behind 8 of the Air Bud sequels.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 15 2009 at 2:28pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

They do tend to listen to me. I didn't want to say anything before, but I'm the driving force behind 8 of the Air Bud sequels.

Which one weren't you involved in? Was it the Space one? PLEASE say it was the Space one....



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 16 2009 at 12:47am
Err... Umm... I may or may have not had to be the dog's stunt double and wear a dog costume.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 7:12am

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Err... Umm... I may or may have not had to be the dog's stunt double and wear a dog costume.

Curse you dEd. You have doomed us all!



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 7:32am
I tend to do that.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 8:05am
Stop dooming us. I can only handle so much being doomed in a week's time...

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 11:47am
UWE BOLL IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IN 2012!!!!!!!!!!!

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 12:18pm

Rock on! President Boll will have my full support.

I mean honestly, he can't be as bad as some leaders this country has had...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 1:16pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

UWE BOLL IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IN 2012!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Michael Bay be his VP, and Seltzerberg as his speech writers?



Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 18 2009 at 2:38pm
The campaign could be called "Political Movie" In true Seltzerberg fashion.

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 8:29am
With Leslie Nielsen as Uwe, and Carmen Electra as Dick Cheney.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 8:39am
Carmen Elektra as Dick Cheney? Yeah... that sounds Seltzerberg-y

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 9:22am
Does that mean Kim Kardashian will be Sarah Palin, because she has the whole shop 'til you drop thing down?


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 11:46am
Quite possibly... Trying to remember their regulars. Theoretically, with MADtv getting canceled, there could be a HUGE run on spoof movies.

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 1:47pm

Wow... I just was looking up to see if they had any regulars listed on the Disaster Movie Wiki page... and my heart was warmed to notice that the Razzies were mentioned right there at the top. It brings a tear to my eye....

But yeah, Kim Kardashian might as well get the Sarah Palin part... I imagine Kim would have no trouble playing a brainless twit...



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 2:33pm
How about Tom Arnold for Todd?

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 3:19pm
Tom Arnold? Seriously? He might be a little too high caliber for a Seltzerberg movie...

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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: PopcornAvenger
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:06pm

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

They do tend to listen to me. I didn't want to say anything before, but I'm the driving force behind 8 of the Air Bud sequels.

For that you deserve a horrible, lingering death. Such as slowly sufficating beneath a huge pile of nude photos of Whoppi Goldberg.

Or tied to a chair, eyes held open ala Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange - and forced to watch the movie of this thread over and over.



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Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:15pm
Originally posted by PopcornAvenger

Originally posted by dEd Grimley

They do tend to listen to me. I didn't want to say anything before, but I'm the driving force behind 8 of the Air Bud sequels.

For that you deserve a horrible, lingering death. Such as slowly sufficating beneath a huge pile of nude photos of Whoppi Goldberg.

Or tied to a chair, eyes held open ala Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange - and forced to watch the movie of this thread over and over.

But... the Clockwork Orange Treatment created an aversion to the item in question... and considering the movie, the aversion is already there... Are Also, if there were enough pictures for him to suffocate beneath them, he wouldn't be able to see them... so that part of the torture seems irrelevent....



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 1:22am
Yes... Aversion... I hate Air Bud movies.............
.......
.......

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: CriticalFrank
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 3:58am

Who doesn't hate the Air Bud movies?

...wait a minute...

You said you were involved in like 16 of the 17 sequels... This is reverse psychology, isn't it?



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Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang


Posted By: dEd Grimley
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 7:43am
Ye... Noooooooo.....

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-Iron helps us play-


Posted By: Michaels
Date Posted: May 20 2009 at 9:08am
What about "The Land Before Time" sequels? Aren't they up to #20 by now?



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