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Sink Your Teeth into This One...

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movieman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote movieman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Sink Your Teeth into This One...
    Posted: March 23 2009 at 3:15pm
I figured that since “Twilight” was a big cultural phenomenon that it might be
interesting. So I finished the book about a month ago and am on its sequel. The
book was far from perfect, developing idealized characters that feel like a
thirteen-year-old girl’s fantasy rather than lifelike characters, a prolonged plot
that takes a 300 page story and extends it into a 500 page book. Nevertheless,
Stephanie Meyer’s style of writing is efficient and engaging(disregarding Edward),
and it just manages to make the story work on a margin. My “friend”, who has
seen the movie 5 times in theaters just picked up the Blu-Ray copy of the movie,
and not knowing what to expect, I just watched it with her.

Can you say epic fail? The last time a movie made me this disappointed was
when I saw Spider-Man 3 a couple years back. Granted, the two lead stars were
stupendous in tackling their difficult roles, and the movie had a stylish rainy look
that was drearily appropriate, but almost everything else was a completely
misguided effort. Whatever proficiency the screenplay might have had was
clearly lost in translation because the movie I watched played like a 121 minute
trailer to launch a bad WB drama. Believe me, I would rather pass up a kidney
stone the size of the Blu-Ray disc than have to watch it again.

My first complaint was the cinematography, completely misconceived. When you
examine certain scenes, they could have been extraordinary if they had better
direction. For example, there is the scene where the Cullens are playing baseball.
Now, when I read that scene in the book, I imagined it would play like
the scene in the first “Matrix” where Morpheus and Neo are in a virtual reality
construct, and Morpheus is teaching Neo to defy the laws of gravity, first by
jumping across a large gap between two buildings. In the baseball scene, Bella
would be Neo(“Whoa”), and they would use a momentum building score along
with some nifty special effects. Instead they used some tacky, retro song that
sounded like it was rejected a contract in the 80’s, along with some
unremarkable effects that I could have made with Final Cut Studio. This was just
one of many scenes where the soundtrack used was completely inappropriate to
the story.

Another fatal flaw of the movie was that at times the movie failed to follow a
clear sequence of events and completely banal interplay. I don’t know how
anyone involved could have thought that they were doing something coherent
when their movie was derailing like a train on a bridge with missing tracks. For
example, one scene starts off with Edward jumping on Bella’s truck randomly
saying, “I’m going to take you to my place tomorrow.” What? Of all the
conversations you’ve had with your friends, how many of them started with
them randomly inviting you somewhere. He could have started the scene like
this:

*Edward jumps on truck*
Edward: Bella, I’m assuming you have nothing to do tomorrow.
Bella: Um, no, why?
Edward: I want you to come to my place and meet my family.

Now, I’m no expert on the interplay of teenage lovers, but I’m sure that they are
much more likely to start off a conversation like that, than what the movie forges
as interplay. And that’s not the only scene that plays like that, there are
at least two or three other scenes that randomly transition into other parts of
the story without any logical buildup. And to think, this is directed by Catherine
Hardwickle, who directed the movie “Thirteen”. You would think her part in that
movie would make her more knowledgeable about teenagers.

It is especially aggravating when you look at other movies with flimsy premises
and how easily they could have been a misguided effort. Movies like “Little Miss
Sunshine”, “Lars and the Real Girl”, and the “Descent” could have easily failed,
but they took risks, and they lived out to their full potential. Such a thing could
have happened here, but obviously that did not happen, and this movie is little
more than a lackluster effort.

I know that this will probably not reach any devoted Twilight fan seeing how
they have probably seen the movie by now, and those who are new to the craze
and are looking forward to the Blu-Ray so they can see Edward’s eyes change
color in high-def. I know how it goes, you’ve built so much anticipation, that
you’re going to LOVE the movie no matter what, even though it sucks, you don't
care, you refuse to listen to any bad word-of-the-mouth LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR
YOU. I know how it goes. I also know that fans will feel tempted to forgive
its flaws and enjoy the presence of the Cullen family. I will just point out that
this movie is not liable to entertain anybody who is not familiar with the series,
and that this is not likely the movie for you.
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2009 at 9:13am

They just cast The Wolf Pack for "New Moon". The thing is, I saw one of the actors in make-up in a magazine. A week ago. They've began shooting. And they're still casting. That's called poor planning.

Also, anyone who complains about a 200 year vampire romancing a 15 year old, it gets worse in "New Moon". In there, there's werewolves and they have bonds with there one true love. Even if the one true love is a baby. That's right: werewolves in love with babies. In it's defense, if it's a baby, they wait for them to be older. but it's still creepy as f*ck.

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Upcoming reviews: http://www.razzies.com/forum/topic7513.html
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2009 at 10:41am
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

They just cast The Wolf Pack for "New Moon". The thing is, I saw one of the actors in make-up in a magazine. A week ago. They've began shooting. And they're still casting. That's called poor planning.

Also, anyone who complains about a 200 year vampire romancing a 15 year old, it gets worse in "New Moon". In there, there's werewolves and they have bonds with there one true love. Even if the one true love is a baby. That's right: werewolves in love with babies. In it's defense, if it's a baby, they wait for them to be older. but it's still creepy as f*ck.

Stephanie Meyers said she was inspired to write the series based on a dream she had. With stuff like 200 year old vampires falling for 16 year old humans and werewolves being in love with babies, I think it's safe to say some dreams should remain only dreams.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote CriticalFrank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2009 at 3:36pm
Originally posted by Michaels

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

They just cast The Wolf Pack for "New Moon". The thing is, I saw one of the actors in make-up in a magazine. A week ago. They've began shooting. And they're still casting. That's called poor planning.

Also, anyone who complains about a 200 year vampire romancing a 15 year old, it gets worse in "New Moon". In there, there's werewolves and they have bonds with there one true love. Even if the one true love is a baby. That's right: werewolves in love with babies. In it's defense, if it's a baby, they wait for them to be older. but it's still creepy as f*ck.

Stephanie Meyers said she was inspired to write the series based on a dream she had. With stuff like 200 year old vampires falling for 16 year old humans and werewolves being in love with babies, I think it's safe to say some dreams should remain only dreams.



Werewolves should only love babies for one reason, and that is as a source of nourishment. Mmmmm... Baby-back ribs! But seriously, there isn't enough meat on a baby to make it worth the werewolf's time. Except for perhaps the ease of obtaining a baby, rather then a fully armed adult.

And if this is the stuff that Stephanie Meyer is dreaming, then I think perhaps that she needs to be locked up to keep the rest of the world safe...
Life's short and hard, like a body-building elf - Bloodhound Gang
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 27 2009 at 11:23am
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Vits View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 15 2010 at 3:49pm
After I left the theater,I just wanted to talk to a lot of people'bout it,'cuz I thought it was good,but no so much.Unfortunately,it became a teen sensation,and we all know how they're treated.

I'm not very excited on seein'NEW MOON,'cuz it looks depressin'.

I just saw a trailer for ECLIPSE,which sucks,'cuz we don't learn the plot of the movie,we just see BELLA tryin'to choose between EDWARD and JACOB.
You can follow me @Vits_Chile
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 27 2011 at 9:21am
[Post deleted]
You can follow me @Vits_Chile
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ajackson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 18 2011 at 2:38am
Hello,
For those of you who haven’t actually read any of the Twilight novels, but have developed a certain perception of them and this movie, all I can say is that this vampire movie is the best.
Believe me, this is a movie that you won’t want to end.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 18 2011 at 4:58am

First of all, ajackson, welcome to our forum. With the polite greetings thus dispatched, permit me to offer that your post provides the example of why I am personally a bit fed up with the extremes this film seems to generate. It is almost as annoying as the Tim Tebow debate here in Denver. Way over there, we have folks like Miguel who think this movie is the harbinger of almost certain impending apocalypse. Then we have your distant corner (from where I sit) that offers that this is the greatest genre piece ever created! Both sides insult my intelligence. If you like it, great. I'm glad you enjoy it, but spare me any suggestion that it stands alongside Bela Lugosi's portrayal of Dracula. If I end up having the watch the latest installment, not only will it not end soon enough for my tastes, but I can't wait for the entire series to be lost in cinematic oblivion. As for the folks on the other side, just ignore it...it will go away and no harm will have ever been done to society.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote babypook Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 18 2011 at 3:26pm
Reading the reviews for this over at Metacritic made me laugh out loud!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2011 at 8:58am
This movie was included here:  

 

Any thoughts?  


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Post Options Post Options   Quote babypook Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2011 at 2:02am
^two posts up!  
 
Well there is a warning about that in the promo heading isnt there? 
 
"Forever, is just the beginning...."  
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