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The Dumbest Movie Idea EVER?!?

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moviewizguy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: The Dumbest Movie Idea EVER?!?
    Posted: August 08 2009 at 11:26am
Originally posted by Michaels

I'm sorry, but a reply like "sigh" just proves whatever we say goes in one ear and out the other.


*face palm*
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2009 at 12:19pm

That was good, mwg.  That was really good.  But now could we do one more take, and this time, could you do the exact same thing, except HARDER.  MUCH HARDER.

Cue the swirling stars and twittering birds.  ACTION! . . .

Originally posted by moviewizguy

Originally posted by Michaels

I'm sorry, but a reply like "sigh" just proves whatever we say goes in one ear and out the other.


*face palm*
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movieman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote movieman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2009 at 1:03pm
This is what Eric D. Snider had to say about the movie's early glowing
reviews: "A major summer tent-pole blockbuster action film, and it's being
hidden away. Paramount invited a handful of specific critics to screenings
last week, most of them writers for genre-oriented blogs and fan-driven
sites -- i.e., not stuffy old newspaper critics. Most of them came away
raving about the movie, which either means Paramount did a good job
selecting the right type of people to show it to, or it's actually a good movie.
We'll see."

Now that we know it's not the latter, I think it's safe to say that this will be
comparable to the thunderingly mediocre tripe that was Fantastic Four
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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2009 at 2:20pm
Ooooh.. Comparisons to Fantastic Four always resonate with this guy... Man that movie sucked.
-Iron helps us play-
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Post Options Post Options   Quote kelemenmarc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 18 2009 at 3:50pm
For your RAZZIE Consideration:

Worst Picture
Worst Director:
Stephen Sommers
Worst Screenplay:
Stuart Beattie & David Elliot

FYC:
Worst Movie: The Bounty Hunter
Worst Actor: Johnny Depp (Alice in Wonderland / The Tourist)
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 24 2009 at 2:36pm

Funny video with more star power than the actual movie had. 

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/076041c13b/the-ballad-of-g- i-joe 

It's always sad when a 3 minute long Internet videos outshines a 90 minute long motion picture.  


RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Actually, G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA was close to TWO HOURS. Maybe time flew 'cause you were laughing so hard at how bone-headed it was?? 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 25 2010 at 2:36pm
If there's one thing I like better when I talk about this movie compared with Revenge of the Fallen, I don't have to raise my Flame Shield when I say badly of The Rise of Cobra. I wanted to see this get nominated for Worst Screenplay, but I don't mind if the nomination's for some other category. I had a gut feeling this would fail when I saw the trailer way back in the spring.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 25 2010 at 6:00pm
Sadly, there is no "Helping to Make CGI Go Backwards In Progress" Award. Because if there was, this movie would "win" it hands down ... and "Sound Of Thunder" before it.
"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Joe Collector Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 11 2010 at 8:55pm
Yeah my comment is late but me and my friend need to talk about the 800 pound gorilla in the room. He don't follow movie critiques much so don't want to make an account here I will post his comment at the end in quotes. GI Joe Rise of Cobra wasn't just a bad GI Joe movie it was a bad movie all together, I was very disappointed as a Joe collector and even if I weren't a collector I would still want those 2 hours of my life back, it is more of the same big budget hollywood nothing. Now don't jump the gun on this, I'm a white boy and my friend who's mom is black and he identifies as black, had to explain this to me because the guy is waaaay smarter than me. But he explained it great and I agree. Oh and Roadblock is great but NOT the best character! ;)

"Take a line of toys/cartoons/comics with a lot of character, soul and dignity, by far the most ethnically diverse cartoon of its day, way ahead of its time. Take this and strip down all the good moral and social messages until you have a skeleton composed of a few recognizable character names, then build upon it a thin skin of meaningless Hollywood fluff/drivel, add to it the standard condescending racist flair of a black man aspiring to be more than he is, give it a musculature of countless millions of dollars in CGI effects, and there you have the Paramount creation "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra". Furthermore, overlook an original, powerful black character like Roadblock(my personal favorite), take an historically white character, Ripcord in this instance, give him the leading white character's skin tone as well as his girlfriend(Scarlett had a thing for Duke from the very foundations of the GI Joe universe). Never mind that this would've been a perfect opportunity to bring Roadblock to live action front stage, never mind that this would've been an excellent opportunity to introduce a new black female character(While ethnically diverse, the Joe Universe is lacking in this department), never mind that it is increasingly racist and condescending when Hollywood throws this transparent patronizing formula awash with racial platitudes at us every chance they get, never mind these things because Hollywood will shove down all our throats their social and ethnic engineering ideologies whether we all like it or not. There are many things I despise about Rise of Cobra, but the racism is by far the most irritating. There is NOTHING WRONG with being attracted to your own ethnicity! There is also certainly nothing wrong with being attracted to a different ethnicity but this decision is the individual's NOT Hollywood's! Practically EVERY time they pull this stunt it comes off as so fake and patronizing, TELL me with a straight face the Scarlett/Ripcord kiss when he got into the Night Raven wasn't incredibly fake and patronizing, go on! By all means review this.

Look, we stand on our OWN, we are highly articulate and intelligent sovereign human beings, we do NOT need your platitudes, and most of us(of EVERY ethnicity!) ASPIRE to marry within our own ethnic group thankyouverymuch. I'm sick of mentally 'facepalming' and looking around the audience out of the corners of my eyes every other time I go to one of these hundred+ million dollar modern Hollywood train wrecks that pass for movies. Snake Eyes is the only positive portrayal in this entire movie which could be considered true to the spirit of the original."
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2010 at 8:16pm
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. --© Paramount

G.I. JOE is a mindless popcorn flick meant to entertain. No more. No less. The quicker you get that through your head, the more you'll be entertained from the film. And this is the reason why I think G.I. JOE succeeds. It's dumb and stupid, sure, but, hell, it's entertaining from beginning to end that nothing else matters.

Saying that, however, there is actually some thought put into the plot, although it's the usual "evil man wanting to take over the world." I like the idea of nanobots, which is blatantly reminiscent of the idea used in the remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. The action sequences are, you guessed it, filled with an average of about 127 explosions each. That's just a guestimation, though because there were too many to count. They were also well done, especially the Paris sequence, which you might have seen in the trailers. The CGI is also pretty fantastic.

Channing Tatum is in his 17th time (again, just a guestimation) playing someone in the military and he's pretty convincing at it. Marlon Wayans's character is more of a hit or miss. I laughed at some of his jokes while others failed. Sienna Miller is also surprisingly good in her role, sporting an extremely realistic American accent. I also liked Rachel Nichols, whom I think is an underrated actress.

However, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the one who I want to put the spotlight on, not because he was great, but because he was absolutely horrible in his role. What the hell. I highly respect him as an actor but seeing him in this film was an embarrassment. He plays the villain who speaks in a cartoonish deep "dark" voice. Every line he spews out as that character is utterly and unintentionally hilarious. This is probably the main point why I didn't enjoy the film as much as I should have.

Another problem I had with the film was the origin story between the characters of Storm Shadow and Snakes Eyes mostly dealing with the use of English (you'll understand the problem once you see it). But other than those flaws, I was still entertained by the film's persistent intent at entertaining the audience. The action sequences are utterly ridiculous but so much fun to watch. Watch this film if, and only if, you go in with the right expectations. 6/10
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2010 at 8:24pm

6 ... out of 10 ... for "GI Joe". You lost me at "The CGI is also pretty fantastic". The CGI looked on par with a 16-bit video game! But I agree with your last sentance about watching with the right expectations ... and those should be ROCK BOTTOM. Seriosuly, do you have any standards what so ever when it comes to movies? Is a movie really "good" just because it's mindlessly entertaining?

The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 10:56am
Entertaining doesn't always equal good. For example, something so laughable can be entertaining. But I do know one thing: Entertaining can always equal to entertaining.

On another note, I'm surprised Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn't get nominated for Worst Supporting Actor. I truly thought he was horrible in the film. Also, I thought Sienna Miller was pretty good, one of the few people who gave a pretty convincing performance in the film.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 11:17am
Yes, but you seem to give high marks to movies just for being entertaining. Frankly, I think the last time you did a review I agreed with was "2012," when you gave 2 different grades, one for the movie as a whole, and one for how entertaining it was...  

Oh wait, that was cvcjr!  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 17 2011 at 2:03pm
I just saw it and gave it 1/10(Could've been 0).Review coming soon.

I can't believe there'll be a sequel.At least they'll hire new people off screen.
Originally posted by dEd Grimley

Marlon Wayans has talent. He just doesn't tend to act in movies that require it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 17 2011 at 7:24pm
Apparantly, the sequel is being directed by Jon M. Chu, the same guy who directed the Justin Bieber movie. To be fair to Chu, he didn't direct the worst non-bat-nipples movie ever like Stephen Sommers.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 17 2011 at 8:17pm
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

Apparantly, the sequel is being directed by Jon M. Chu, the same guy who directed the Justin Bieber movie. To be fair to Chu, he didn't direct the worst non-bat-nipples movie ever like Stephen Sommers.
No, he only directed the worst "must cash in on this 16 year old's 15 minutes of fame before it's too late" movie.
"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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