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The High-Priced, Low-Fat SPREAD?!?!?

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: The High-Priced, Low-Fat SPREAD?!?!?
    Posted: August 10 2009 at 4:16am

ONE of the MOST UNCONVINCING "ROMANCE" MOVIES of ALL TIME FEATURED JOHN TRAVOLTA as a STUDLY POOL BOY NAMED "STRIP," and the USUALLY WONDERFUL LILY TOMLIN as the HORNY MATRON WHO PAID HIM to HAVE an AFFAIR with HER. BESIDES the OBVIOUS LACK of CHEMISTRY BETWEEN ITS STARS, the BIGGEST PROBLEM with MOMENT BY MOMENT WAS THAT IN HER OFF-SCREEN LIFE, MOVIE-GOERS UNDERSTOOD THAT TOMLIN WAS CLEARLY NOT ATTRACTED to MEN...

WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT to RE-CREATE SUCH a FIASCO IS BEYOND US -- BUT the MAKERS of the LESS-THAN-SUBTLELY TITLED SPREAD DID JUST THAT.  3-TIME RAZZIE® NOMINEE ASHTON KUTCHER STANDS in for TRAVOLTA, 1998 WORST ACTRESS NOMINEE (and "FORMER LESBIAN") ANNE HECHE TAKES the TOMLIN ROLE...and the RESULTS, AS YOGI BERRA ONCE SAID, ARE "DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN!"

AT the BERRY LEAST, THIS LOOKS LIKE a SHOO-IN for a WORST SCREEN COUPLE NOMINATION NEXT FEBRUARY.

THE FACT THAT a FILM WITH THIS WELL-KNOWN a CAST WAS PRODUCED by a HOME VIDEO COMPANY, and WAS RELEASED ALMOST SECRETLY, ONLY ADDED FUEL to OUR SUSPICIONS.

...AND, WHILE YOU'RE DISCUSSING SPREAD, FEEL FREE to INCLUDE YOUR CHOICE as the BERRY WORST CASE of "SCREEN CHEMISTRY GONE WRONG" YOU'VE EVER SEEN... 

KUTCHER: "Yeah, one night I got her so drunk, she totally forgot she was a lesbian..."

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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RoadDogXVIII View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2009 at 7:30am
It's that good, huh? Sarcasm, by the way.
You think you know, but you have no idea.
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2009 at 8:17am

Wow, being Demi Moore's boy toy really does wonders for your movie career. Granted, you don't make GOOD movies -- but you do get plenty of them to star in!

 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2009 at 11:49am
Kutcher just... ugh... *Shivers*... I just don't get it. I don't find him funny, I thought Kelso was the weakest link on That 70's Show... I never got why girls thought he was hot... Yea, Ashton is about the bottom of the barrel.
-Iron helps us play-
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JoeBoyden View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBoyden Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 11 2009 at 11:30am

Kutcher seems determined to win himself a Razzie for Worst Screen Couple. He has been nominated with Tara Reid (My Boss’s Daughter), Brittany Murphy (Just Married), and Cameron Diaz (What Happens in Vegas). And next year he stars in Five Killers, an action/comedy film with Katherine Heigl!

My Picks... so far:
Worst Picture BUCKY LARSON
Worst Actor Shia LaBeouf
Worst Actress Martin Lawrence
Worst Sup Actor John Turturro
Worst Sup Actress Vanessa Hudgens
Worst Director Michael Bay
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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 11 2009 at 4:28pm
Kutcher's seriously bad news. I think we might be wise to Razz him this time.
-Iron helps us play-
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JoBloMovieGoer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoBloMovieGoer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2009 at 5:03am

Here's a link to read a hilarious review of "Spread" from The Minneapolis Star-Tribune. I found it on Rotten Tomatoes, and just had to share it with my fellow Forum members...

 

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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2009 at 8:43am
I'm not REALLY trying to defend Anne Heche, but I have a hard time figuring her as a cougar... I don't think she really FEELS old enough.
-Iron helps us play-
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MiguelAntilsu View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2009 at 4:38pm

That StarTribune review explains exactly why this is a Razzie prospect.  He's not the only one who compared it to Deuce Bigelow and Shampoo, however. (LINK)

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dEd Grimley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 15 2009 at 1:28am
The story itself is pretty awful. But I did just see Ashton on Real Time with Bill Maher and he didn't make himself look like a total idiot.
-Iron helps us play-
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JoeBacon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 16 2009 at 2:12pm
OH, head Razz, it's more high-fat than high-priced spread
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GTAHater767 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 25 2010 at 2:40pm
Provided Ashton Kutcher has no chance of Worst Actor against Matthew McConaughey for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, I hope this can at least get nominated for Worst Screen Couple.
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 25 2010 at 5:46pm
As bad as Kutcher is, there are far worse people listed ont he ballot.
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