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Those Who Saw It in Theatres WERE Alone!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Those Who Saw It in Theatres WERE Alone!
    Posted: August 08 2005 at 11:59pm

Each year, one movie tops (or bottoms?) everything else by achieving the LOWEST Critical Approval Rating of anything out there. For 2005, with a mere 1% of critics giving it an even middling review, the champion is ALONE IN THE DARK, which is based on a video game, stars Tara Reid as a "genius anthropologist"(!) and was directed by Uber-Hack Uwe Boll. Based on thesre factors and it's paltry $5 million box office take, we're not sure ANYONE has even seen it. Still, as several Post-ers have pointed out, something this reviled BELONGS on any RAZZIE® Worst List...

 

 

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Movie-Fan! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 09 2005 at 12:03am

With that credential, I just HAd to check out this title. It's currently (morning of August 9, 2005)  #45 on the IMdB's All Time 100 Worst List and, for the morbidly curious, is available for rental on DVD from Netflix...

UPDATE from HeadRAZZberry: As of 1/29/06, ALONE is ranked #20!!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 09 2005 at 10:09am
I've been tempted to rent this (no that is not a typo) just to see how bad it is. I just don't know if I want to waste two hours of my life.
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2005 at 2:58am
Actually, IMdB lists its running time as only 96 minutes. Still that IS 96 minutes you'll never get back again!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Gabriel Luke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 11 2005 at 2:26am

I'd rather hold a rowdy infant in front of myself and let him kick me in the ballz over and over again for 96 minutes than sustain the injury to the mind with this one. Ill take that pain over mental retardationism recieved from this......

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Hypno Toad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2005 at 7:48am

Without any doubt in my mind, ALONE IN THE DARK is the worst film of the year. It's so bad that it doesn't contain any parts that are so bad they're funny, ala Uwe Boll's previous film HOUSE of the DEAD. It's just bad all around: The acting, the script, the directing...UGH!

To paraphrase my favorite line from one of my favorite films, "This film is the stuff that RAZZIES are made of!".

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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 20 2005 at 7:05pm
How does this man keep getting work? So far the Germans have been responsible for two great injustices in history: The holocaust and Uwe "smoke-a" Boll. Maybe we should start a poll to see which German atrocity is worse!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 24 2005 at 5:58am
You can't blame it ALL on the director -- SOMEONE was dumb enough to give this guy MILLIONS to make this piece of sh*t!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 24 2005 at 12:58pm
From what I've heard at Rotten Tomatoes, the German government will finance half of any movie from any German born citizen. Again, the Krauts are responsible for this horror!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 25 2005 at 3:30pm

So you're, like, comparing ALONE IN THE DARK to World War II?? Netlix is finally sending me the DVD of this one tomorrow -- This I've GOTTA see!!   

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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 26 2005 at 6:36pm
Originally posted by HeadRAZZBerry

So you're, like, comparing ALONE IN THE DARK to World War II?? Netlix is finally sending me the DVD of this one tomorrow -- This I've GOTTA see!!   

Well the Germans are responsible for both of them. (Holocaust and Uwe Boll)!!
"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 28 2005 at 3:35am

WHOA! I have rarely seen such UTTER INCOMPETENCE in film-making! ALONE IN THE DARK was one of the WORST Directed, WORST Written, WORST Excuses for a Motion Picture I have seen in many a year! I realize it's based on a Video Game (NEVER a good sign!  ) but was Simple COHERENCE too much to ask?!?  WHAT were those weird Doggie/Dinosaur Beasties that crumpled into dust when shot with the special bullets?  WHY did The Evil Scientist inject HIMSELF with the blood of one of those beasts??  WHERE were we MOST of the time (in relation to both Reality AND Continuity)??  And WHO thought ANYONE would believe Tara Reed as an archeologist?!?!?! 

I can't guarantee this one will get many nods come January, but I now plan to list it ALL OVER the Nominating Ballot for The 26th Annual RAZZIES ®!!!     

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Post Options Post Options   Quote deadguy76 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 28 2005 at 8:44am

Now that you've witnessed this unspeakable horror, maybe you should take a POLL: Which is the worse German atrocity? The Holocaust or the existence of Uwe Boll?

I think Stan from SOUTH PARK, THE MOVIE summed it up for me: "Dude what the f**k is wrong with German people?!?"

"Woody Allen, whatever his failings, does not make movies for morons. Most directors do. Of course, most directors are morons."

- Joe Queenan

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 29 2005 at 8:50am
ISN'T IT IRONIC? (OR IS THAT MORONIC??) As an added "bonus," the DVD for ALONE IN THE DARK includues the trailer for fellow RAZZIE®  Worst Picture contender STEALTH...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BooBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 11 2005 at 7:26pm
Originally posted by HeadRAZZBerry

I can't guarantee this one will get many nods come January, but I now plan to list it ALL OVER the Nominating Ballot for The 26th Annual RAZZIES ®!!!     

So, which categories you gonna list it in? May I be so bold and guess? PICTURE, ACTOR (Slater), ACTRESS (Reid), SUPPORTING ACTOR (Dorff), SCREEN COUPLE (Slater & Reid), DIRECTOR (Boll) & SCREENPLAY.

Hell, it's already got my votes in all those categories! (I'm anxiously awaiting my nominating ballot, man it seems like an eternity 'till I get it!) By the way, when are you planning on mailing 'em out HeadRAZZBerry? Late December? Early January? Or you haven't decided yet  (Just wondering .)

P.S. I'm sorry you finally had to see this atrocity of filmmaking!

-BooBerry

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 12 2005 at 1:10am

Our Nominating Ballots will go out in late December/early January, with a due-date of January 21. Our Official Announcement of Nominations will then be made on Monday, January 30.

To take part in this Berry Silly (But Berry FUN) Process, here's the LINK to become A Voting RAZZIE® Member:

http://razzies.com/asp/content/XcNewsPlus.asp?cmd=view&a rticleid=40

 

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