QuoteReplyTopic: ZOOM Goes Boom...and BUST?!?!?! Posted: September 18 2011 at 5:15am
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter
Maybe Spencer and Abigail are the reincarnations of John Wilkes and Edwin Booth, respectively.
I would have gone with them just being Yin and Yang. One brings hope for child stars, the other brings misery!
"People say 'It's all about the story’. When you're making tentpole films, bull$hit." -Andy Hendrickson (Disney Animation Studios' Chief Technical Officer)
Maybe Spencer and Abigail are the reincarnations of John Wilkes and Edwin Booth, respectively. To explain, Edwin saved Abraham Lincoln's son and we all know what John did to Lincoln. So, sibling actors who are completely different.
Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken https://twitter.com/SchumacherH8r Next-up: The Oogieloves
4. Tim Allen: 2006 was a dark year for Tim Allen. He had three straight critical and B.O. bombs with The Shaggy Dog, this, and The Santa Clause 3. Allen not winning Worst Actor for those three is like Stanley Kubrick not winning Best Director for 2001... or Dr. Strangelove... or Clockwork Orange... or Barry Lyndon. Man Kubrick got screwed over a lot! To get back on topic, it's a crime!
Man, that was a mess of a movie! Grade: F
1. Attractive actress, poor choice in movie roles ... and men!
2. It's been many years since the time of "Fletch" and the "Vacation" movies ... and it shows.
3. Worst. Child Actor. EVER! How sister Abigail is related to someone as talentless as him is one of Hollywood's greatest mysteries!
4. So right on both accounts.
"People say 'It's all about the story’. When you're making tentpole films, bull$hit." -Andy Hendrickson (Disney Animation Studios' Chief Technical Officer)
Time to rip into the worst super-hero movie ever that doesn't involve Bat-nipples, S&M gear as a costume, Samuel L. Jackson as a Nazi, or Dr. Doom using sign language!*
The good:
?
The bad:
Courtney Cox: First off, something nice: I've always considered Cox to be the hottest one on Friends. That kindness out of the way, she's just awful here. The running gag of her constantly falling is especially unfunny!
Chevy Chase: Remember when Chevy was funny? Yeah, those days are long gone!**
Spencer Breslin: Breslin is to child actors as 9/11 conspiracists are to conspiracy theories: the nadir in an already less-than-glorious field.*** Breslin's best role to date was in M. Night Shamwow's terrible, but not as terrible as the movie that preceded it or followed it The Happening. In it, Breslin is shot full of holes shortly before it's revealed that Re-Run is behind all this madness.
The ugly:
Rip Torn: Torn is safe in one respect: non of his movies can be as bad as Freddy Got Fingered. In this, he plays Gen. Larabee, a sadistic and stupid individual. His performance is just painful.
The "script": I put the quote marks in because I highly doubt that someone wrote this down. A monkey sh*tting in a type-writer could do a better job than this!
Tim Allen: 2006 was a dark year for Tim Allen. He had three straight critical and B.O. bombs with The Shaggy Dog, this, and The Santa Clause 3. Allen not winning Worst Actor for those three is like Stanley Kubrick not winning Best Director for 2001... or Dr. Strangelove... or Clockwork Orange... or Barry Lyndon. Man Kubrick got screwed over a lot! To get back on topic, it's a crime!
Man, that was a mess of a movie! Grade: F
Next-up: Baby Geniuses!
*That's a reference to the unreleased Fantastic Four movie from the early 90s'.
**OK, Community's a big hit, but his movie career is probably dead.
***If you're wondering why I didn't put Holocaust deniers as the nadir, Holocaust deniers have mixed in with 9/11 truthers. For example, the most cited source in Loose Change (other than Dylan Avery's demented psyche) is a white supremicist rag from David Duke.
Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken https://twitter.com/SchumacherH8r Next-up: The Oogieloves
I re-watched.It's not a parody,it's a satire.I give it 3/10.
Parody, satire, it sucked either way. Now, if you want a good superhero parody, watch "Sky High". It's one of the few times Disney did something right, without marketing the hell out of it and selling it out every way possible.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
Really? Because it doesn't work with any other genre, not even by Seltzerberg standards.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
I wish they hadn't made this movie, period. Chevy Chase hasn't been funny since the 80s. Superhero parodies usually suck, and this one has to be on top of the pile of those sh*tty movies.
Oh, and Spencer Breslin can't act his way out of a wet paper bag!
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
I wish Chevy Chase hadn't been in the movie. Not that I don't like him. But I hate when characters are the target of all the bad things (like ALAN from TWO AND A HALF MEN and TOM ANDERSON from BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD) and we're expected to laugh at such cruelty.
The directing was so bad. If they couldn't affort to show Spencer Breslin's stomach, use the money you spent on other unnecesary stuff.
I really thought things were gonna get better with the final fight. Unfortunately, it only lasted like 2 minutes -- and then the bad guy was forgiven for everything!
My mistake. Reading them both over, I'd have to give a slight nod to Eragon; they were at least creative enough to plagarize (and indeed why hasn't Lucas sued them yet?), whereas this was apparently meant specifically to antagonize the audience in revenge for some other film not being watched, and to do so in a way that suggests they only bought a concept back in pitching, fell way behind in planning the real thing, then decided to recoup by filming the first draft in 24 hours. Seriously, what's the point of having to wait the whole picture for the villain to come out and face him. You'd still get the same results if he'd popped right out after the credits and at least acted like he was tearing up the country. Plus, Chevy probably would have fit the lead better than Allen, since he has, as I've noted on this thread before, a genuine cause for grudgery that would have helped the portrayal better. It would at least have been an improvement over a role that does nothing and becomes the punching bag from everyone else.
Not too much really, but he does say on a related note that he was essentially tricked into Vegas Vacation, that Warners simply had him signed for a general concept, and then worked it into another Griswold flick at the last second behind his back. He also thinks Terry Semel has a part in the decline of roles offered to him, reportedly stemming from an incident in the early 90s where, as he tells it, Semel took his wife's seat at a reception and flew into a blind "You'll never work in this town again" rage when he pointed this out. Again, being an authorized biography, it would be best to assume there's some truth to it, although somewhat played up in his favor.
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Topic: ZOOM Goes Boom...and BUST?!?!?!
