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Funny...He Still Can’t Direct Worth Sh*t!

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thomsonmg2000 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote thomsonmg2000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Funny...He Still Can’t Direct Worth Sh*t!
    Posted: July 17 2008 at 2:06am

I was actually hoping "Postal" might be Boll's first "not terrible" film  (from reading early reviews on how it was supposedly pretty funny).  But instead, it's just another crap output from Toilet Boll.

 

Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/
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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2008 at 3:38pm
It has a few moments, which is unusual for Boll, but it's like searching for a diamond ring in a septic tank. . . .
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thomsonmg2000 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote thomsonmg2000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 30 2008 at 2:12pm
I don't think Postal should get Razzied at all, though; it would be taking up all of the awards Disaster Movie should receive instead. Like I posted several times before, Boll should only get the Worst Career Achievement award for his multiple blight on movies, and leave it at that...


Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/
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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2008 at 3:11am

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Have you seen POSTAL??  Beyond being indefensably dense like DISASTER MOVIE, POSTAL also manages to be incoherent, tasteless, pointless, witless and frequently flat-out disgusting (EXAMPLE: There is a scene where young children being graphically gunned down by a Nazi sniper is supposed to be funny).

If DISASTER is just doofy while POSTAL is an assault on humanity (which I would argue POSTAL is) then I'd have to favor POSTAL over DISASTER as this year's Most Deserving Worst Picture contender.

To give you some perspective: I haven't loathed a possible Worst Picture choice this much since FREDDY GOT FINGERED

Mayhaps both POSTAL and DISASTER MOVIE should end up being nominated as Worst Picture, and our Voting Members can then determine which of them is more deserving of a "win." 

 

 

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thomsonmg2000 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote thomsonmg2000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2008 at 8:17am

I heard that scene where the kids got gunned down was the only "good" part of Postal. So, yeah, I could see why you would loathe Postal. However, the fact that Postal actually has a scene that can be described as "good" from viewers and Disaster Movie is just painful even reading only a detailed plot summary is reason why Disastrous Movie should get loaded with Razzies this year. Maybe a Worst Ripoff award for Uwe Boll trying to make a "satire" like Borat?

Speaking about Freddy Got Fingered, I can't believe I'm going to type this, but, I actually cracked a smile when I saw a clip of the sausage scene.

Originally posted by HeadRAZZBerry

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Have you seen POSTAL??  Beyond being indefensably dense like DISASTER MOVIE, POSTAL also manages to be incoherent, tasteless, pointless, witless and frequently flat-out disgusting (EXAMPLE: There is a scene where young children being graphically gunned down by a Nazi sniper is supposed to be funny).

If DISASTER is just doofy while POSTAL is an assault on humanity (which I would argue POSTAL is) then I'd have to favor POSTAL over DISASTER as this year's Most Deserving Worst Picture contender.

To give you some perspective: I haven't loathed a possible Worst Picture choice this much since FREDDY GOT FINGERED

Mayhaps both POSTAL and DISASTER MOVIE should end up being nominated as Worst Picture, and our Voting Members can then determine which of them is more deserving of a "win." 




Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2008 at 7:27am
I just finished watching this:  oh my f*cking god, what a horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible movie! Uwe managed to out-bad "In The Name Of The King"! If Uwe doesn't win this year, it will be as gross as the scene of children Head RAZZberry almost vomited at that was mentioned above. The only half-way amusing part was when Uwe got his n*ts blown off because he deserves after I've seen this, "ITNOFTK", "House Of The Dead", "Alone In The Dark", "BloodRayne", and "BloodRayne 2". WORST PICTURE, WORST DIRECTOR, WORST ACTOR (Zach Ward), WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR (Uwe Boll), WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS (Jackie Tohn), WORST SCREENPLAY, and WORST SCREEN COUPLE (Ward & Tohn)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2008 at 11:16am
I've discovered some of Uwe's upcomming films. First is "Far Cry", which is opening in Germany and Canada, but not here. Then, "Tunnel Rats", which is 100% improv, with no script and doesn't appear to have a release date. The next two are "Sabotage 1943" and "Zombie Massacre", which don't have Wikipedia links. And there's, "Stoic" which starrs Edward Furlong and here's the description on Wikipedia: "According to Boll, Stoic centers on the true event where three German inmates gambled on a poker game. The loser is forced to eat, regurgitate, and eat his own vomit. The tale escalates into much more when the inmates rape the man for 10 hours before forcing him to commit suicide." What the f*ck? Also, it's improv.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2008 at 2:33pm

Wow, he is all about shock vaule now, isn't he? I swear, this year is just a photo finish race between Boll and Seltzerberg. Between "In The Name Of The King", "Meet The Spartans", "Postal", and "Disaster Movie", they are begging, BEGGING us to hand them all the "Awards".

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

I've discovered some of Uwe's upcomming films. First is "Far Cry", which is opening in Germany and Canada, but not here. Then, "Tunnel Rats", which is 100% improv, with no script and doesn't appear to have a release date. The next two are "Sabotage 1943" and "Zombie Massacre", which don't have Wikipedia links. And there's, "Stoic" which starrs Edward Furlong and here's the description on Wikipedia: "According to Boll, Stoic centers on the true event where three German inmates gambled on a poker game. The loser is forced to eat, regurgitate, and eat his own vomit. The tale escalates into much more when the inmates rape the man for 10 hours before forcing him to commit suicide." What the f*ck? Also, it's improv.

 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vega six Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2008 at 3:02am

Hold on lads, Isn't this exactly what these idiots want?? They are looking for publicity by making turd after turd. It's their sick way of generating money and box office numbers.

What do you think Mister Berry?

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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2008 at 7:36am
RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: If Uwe Boll thinks he can parlay a multi-RAZZIE® "win" into box office gold, more power to him. Although RAZZ-ing this most deserving of film-makers would bring him further media attention (and he is, indeed, an "idiot" who keeps making "turd after turd") I cannot resist lobbying for POSTAL to "win" several of our main awards -- After all, part of our reason for existing is to ward off "innocent movie-goers" from subjecting themselves to the kind of indefensible cinematic garbage Boll spews forth with film after film... 
Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2008 at 8:54am

From the look of things, I really don't know why Uwe Boll made this film.  It's a lot worse than Peter Griffin's idea for "September 11, 2000-Fun" (Family Guy), which was funny because he was getting back at James Woods for stealing his identity.  This film, on the other hand, is a complete train wreck (and has almost nothing to do with the 1997 video game "Postal," since he combined it with 9/11). 

If you brought back Worst Excuse for an Actual Movie (2003), this might win hands down! 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2008 at 2:58pm
I agree with HeadRazz, if Boll wants to be this generation's Ed Wood, we should be more than happy to grant his wish. I don't believe that "any press is good press." If / when Boll wins his fair share of Razzies, claims to be proud of it, and gets media attention for it, it will be movies-goers and critics laughing at him, not with him. Heck, even Halle Berry was brave enough to admit she made a mistake with "Catwoman!"
"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vega six Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 17 2008 at 3:31am

Excellent points all around, but please enlighten me as to where old Boll gets his funding? I mean, who in their right mind would fund something they know will lose money? Does Boll come from a rich family? What, what?!?

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Best I can come up with is that Boll has created some kind of tax shelter (or money "washing"??) set-up in his native Germany. Other than that, no theory even begins to explain Boll continuing to get funding for $65 million productions, not one of which has ever made even $10 million back worldwide... 

 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vega six Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 18 2008 at 6:58am
Maybe something illegal? What a day for the Razzberries to take down such scum lol
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BooBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 17 2008 at 12:14pm

By the way, HeadRazz, since Boll appears in POSTAL, as himself. Are you gonna list him as a Worst Supporting Actor contender on the ballot this year as well?

Kinda like how Stallone and Eszterhas were nominated for playing themselves in AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN.

-BooBerry 

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Not to worry, Boll is listed all over this year's RAZZIE® Nominating Ballot -- and, yes, Worst Supporting Actor for POSTAL(as himself) is among the possible nods for Herr Boll...

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 17 2008 at 12:36pm

I'm for everything (and anything!) that will better Boll's chances of NOT getting away Razzie-free this year.

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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