No Need 2 IMAGINE Eddie’s in Trouble...

 

 

It's not Eddie Murphy worst movie: It's not as bad as the limp Meet Dave or the Rotten Asshole Norbit, but that's not saying much!

 

Eddie first demonstration: This scene comes very close to being funny.

 

There's no bestiality!: After Alvin And The Chipmunks 2, Furry Vengeance, and The Grinch, it's "good" to find a family film that doesn't relie on the wet-dreams of furries!

 

 

Eddie Murphy: It's been said before and it needs to be said again: What the f*ck happened to Eddie Murphy's balls? Are they stored in Jeffrey Katzenberg's desk? The only reason he's not in the ugly is because he only has one character here.

 

Thomas Haden Church: Remember how Church was nominated for an Oscar for Sideways? Yeah, this'll make you forget it. Granted, it's not as bad as his acting in All About Steve or his role as a cop in 2001 Worst Picture nominee 3000 Miles To Graceland, but it's still a limp performance.

 

Yara Shahadi: Remember that rant about annoying children in my Brendan Frasier Gets Raped By A Bear review? Shahadi makes them look like the cast of Stand By Me in comparison! She does a scream that's on par with John Galt's 90-page speech in Atlas Shrugged*!

 

 

The moral: Movies that say that fathers should quit their jobs are the bane of my existance. I hate this mini-genre so much, that in my initial roster, I left out every one that had it because I didn't want to go near them! Then I remembered that I'm going to review a movie where Jon Voight fights babies and decided to let one and only one in the roster. I choose this one because it was fresh in my memory and Murphy's going to host the Oscars next year. So, when Murphy bombs like a thousand James Franco's, you can remember my review.

 

Well that's the best live-action Eddie Murphy of the last fives years**! Grade: C

 

Next-up: The Nutcracker In 3D! (Christ, I'm f*cked!)

 

*That's a little harsh, Shahadi never idolized a child-killer! Link: http://www.michaelprescott.net/hickman.htm

**Dreamgirls was, technically, 6 years ago.

 

Norbit (#2 Worst Film of 2007) and Meet Dave (#7 Worst Film of 2008) were directed by Brian Robbins, who also directed Hardball (#16 Worst Film of 2001) and The Shaggy Dog (#10 Worst Film of 2006).

 

Imagine That was directed by Karey Kirkpatrick. It's his second ever film after Over the Hedge.

 

If only he could get another role with a good director...

 

2. He's been working with hack directors for the last handful of his movies.