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Do I SPY a Likely Contender??

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Do I SPY a Likely Contender??
    Posted: January 19 2010 at 10:02am
UNTIL THIS YEAR, JACKIE CHAN HAD the ABILITY to BE LIKEABLE EVEN in DREK LIKE OUR 1997 WORST PICTURE "WINNER" AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN, HOLLYWOOD, BURN (IN WHICH HE WAS the ONLY ACTOR WHO DIDN'T COME OFF as a TOTAL IDIOT).
 
BUT with THE SPY NEXT DOOR HAVING GOTTEN ROTTEN REVIEWS at R.T. and the NEPOTISM-TAINTED KARATE KID REMAKE (IN WHICH HE PLAYS a REVAMPED VERSION of "MR. MIYAGI") SET for RELEASE in JUNE, CHAN's DAYS of CHARMING the MOVIE-GOING PUBLIC MAY BE COMING to an END.
 
ADD in THAT SPY CO-STARS 2009 RAZZIE® "WINNER" BILLY RAY CYRUS, and WAS DIRECTED by 2-TIME RAZZIE® NOMINEE (and 1 TIME RAZZIE® "WINNER") BRIAN LEVANT, and YOU CAN SEE WHY CHAN IS LIKELIER to BELONG AT OUR AWARDS in SPRING of 2011 THAN THOSE HOSTED by the ACADEMY of MOTION PICTURE FARTS and SCIENTOLOGISTS.
 
IF HE DOES ATTEND OUR SHOW, "WINS," and MAKES a SPEECH, HE COULD BE as CHARMING as EVER. BUT by THEN, IT MAY BE TOO LATE to SALVAGE HIS  ONCE SUCCESSFUL CAREER...
 
 
CHAN: "If I swing far enough...can I get out of this movie?!?!?"
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 19 2010 at 4:17pm
I'm torn!I really like Jackie Chan,but Brian Levant is the worst director I've seen.
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BurnHollywoodBurn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 19 2010 at 5:01pm
I think Jackie Chan's best years are behind him. Do yourself a favor, Vits, don't see this movie. Rent and watch "Legend of Drunken Master" instead. That's Jackie Chan at his best!
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 19 2010 at 9:31pm

Everyone realizes this is part of a trilogy, right?  First, there was Suburban Commando with Hulk Hogan, then there was The Pacifier with Vin Diesel, and now there is The Spy Next Door with Jackie Chan.  This could actually be environmentally friendly.  Put these three in a gift set and it will save Santa lots of coal during Christmas! . . .

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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2010 at 9:52am
Originally posted by cvcjr13

Everyone realizes this is part of a trilogy, right?  First, there was Suburban Commando with Hulk Hogan, then there was The Pacifier with Vin Diesel, and now there is The Spy Next Door with Jackie Chan.
For some reason, Hollywood thinks every generation needs an "action hero breaking type by starring in a family friendly, baby sitting" comedy. Arnold in "Kindergarten Cop" in the 1980s, then Hulk Hogan as "Mister Nanny" in the 1990s, Vin Diesel's "The Pacifier" in the 2000s, and now Jackie Chan in 2010's "Spy Next Door". What will 2020 bring us? Matt Damon in "The Bourne Daycare Center"?
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2010 at 12:36pm
You know,the other day when I watched THE ROTTEN TOMATOES SHOW,and before they reviewed this movie,they showed a music video showin'all of those family comedies starring actions stars.Very funny.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2010 at 4:23pm
Originally posted by Vits

You know,the other day when I watched THE ROTTEN TOMATOES SHOW,and before they reviewed this movie,they showed a music video showin'all of those family comedies starring actions stars.Very funny.
I take it, it was funny in a "look at these guys being out of their league" sort of way?
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2010 at 12:48pm
No,it was funny'cuz it was a parody.The song's lyrics were...well,why don't you watch it?The show has an official channel on YouTube.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2010 at 3:13pm
Originally posted by Vits

No,it was funny'cuz it was a parody.The song's lyrics were...well,why don't you watch it?The show has an official channel on YouTube.

No, I was hoping for a "these guys are way out of their element" type of thing.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 22 2010 at 10:59am
I think that was implied.After all,they were makin'fun of the fact actions stars go G-rated.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBoyden Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2010 at 3:04pm
I saw this movie last night. What can I say? Awful, dumb, pathetic.
 
So, for your early consideration:
 
Worst Movie
Worst Director Brian Levant
Worst Actor Jackie Chan
Worst Supporting Actress Katherine Boecher
Worst Supporting Actor Billy Ray Cyrus, Magnus Scheving, Lucas Till, and/or George Lopez (also for Valentine's Day and Marmaduke)
Worst Screenplay (three people wrote this?!?!)
 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2010 at 5:16pm
The more writers a movie has, the worse it is. Brian Levant also directed THE FLINTSTONES, which had 35 writers!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBoyden Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 18 2010 at 10:18pm
35 writers -- WOW! Wacko   

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: And all 35 of 'em jointly "won" our Worst Screenplay award for 1994 -- For the morbidly curious, here's an IMDb LINK to check out the complete list of names, which we could never have fit on a RAZZIE statuette's tiny plaque. You'll have to scroll down past the MTV Award listing to read 'em, but I'm pretty sure ALL 35 WRITERS are listed... 

My Picks... so far:
Worst Picture BUCKY LARSON
Worst Actor Shia LaBeouf
Worst Actress Martin Lawrence
Worst Sup Actor John Turturro
Worst Sup Actress Vanessa Hudgens
Worst Director Michael Bay
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2010 at 2:59pm
How many screenwriters does it take to write a good live action adaptation of an animated TV series? The world may never know! 
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2010 at 4:33pm
The closest to "good" a live-action adaptation of a cartoon there has ever been was with POPEYE, JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS and/or "GEORGE" OF THE JUNGLE, but they all got mixed reviews. Not to mention that only the latter is considered faithful to its source.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2010 at 4:50pm
Um, no. There has NEVER been a good live action adaptation to this day. Those examples are considered among the worst. "Popeye" was considered a huge bomb, "Josie" was just one long inside joke about product placement in movies, and "George", while faithful, wasn't anything to write home about. And now that the flavor of the month is Hollywood doing adaptations of Japanese anime series, which have all been bombs so far, we're not going to have that one "good" adaptation any time soon.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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