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Members' Discussion of SMURFS 3-D |
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SchumacherH8ter 
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum 
Joined: September 06 2007 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2011 |
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 Topic: Members' Discussion of SMURFS 3-DPosted: December 07 2011 at 5:03pm |
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Man, this was a bad movie.
The good:
Hank Azaria: Azaria plays Gargamel, who wants to capture the Smurfs. Since this would cause them harm, he was my favorite character. In addition, he gets all the good lines.
Neil Patrick Harris: Harris is better here than he was in Beastly.
The bad:
Katy Perry: Perry is bland here as Smurfette. The only reason she got this part was because of blatant stunt casting.
Fred Armison: Armison plays Brainy Smurf, my least favorite Smurf. He was exceptionally annoying. Also, for some reason, Armison plays a cashier in a toy store.
The script: Fun fact: this movie had four credited writers. How the f*ck could a movie this bland require four goddamn writers?!?
The ugly:
Jayma Mays: Mays is very annoying here as NPH's pregnant wife. This isn't her worst movie though, as she was in... Epic Movie! (Duh duh duh!!!)
The product placement: This has some of the most blatant product placement this side of a Michael Bay movie! Blu-Ray, Blue Man Group, etc. But, the absolute worst would have to be the Guitar Hero scene. They play Run-DMC's version of Walk This Way and this is DMC's lowest moment since JMJ died*.
Raja Gosnell: When one of your best movies is Big Momma's House, you should just throw in the towel.
As bad as the original cartoon was, it's not as bad this movie. Is it me or is the only good thing to come from The Smurfs the Smurfs scene from Donnie Darko? Grade: D+
*I'm going to hell for that one.
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Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken
https://twitter.com/SchumacherH8r Next-up: The Oogieloves |
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SchumacherH8ter
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: September 06 2007 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2011 |
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Posted: December 03 2011 at 11:16am |
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I just survived this. I'll post a review sometime this weekend.
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Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster!-Robot Chicken
https://twitter.com/SchumacherH8r Next-up: The Oogieloves |
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Vits
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: February 01 2010 Location: Chile Online Status: Offline Posts: 4813 |
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Posted: September 28 2011 at 2:28pm |
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I just saw it,but won't review it.
I could go on about how unfunny and lazy it is,or that the FX suck,but you all know that.I could discuss that today it surpassed $500 Million at the box office,entering the Top 100 of the highest grossing films ever,but I don't think I feel different about it than all of you.Instead,I'll point out things no one else has: -Parents take their kids to see these movies because they think it's harmless.The joke's on them.There's a scene in a mall where THE SMURFS are mistasken for toys,and the children practically destroy the store trying to get them. -Some movies have animal cruelty and don't seem to notice.Here,they actually say it,and keep doing it! -We've discussed innouendo in children movies.Here,one of THE SMURFS refers to his pubes as "enchanted forest".I rest my case. I give this 1/10(could've been 0). F.Y.C.: -Actor;Supp. Actor:Not Jonathan Winters,Anton Yelchin,Fred Armisen,Alan Cumming or Tim Gunn.Nothing wrong with them.Nor Hank Azaria,he's the best part,just as he was in HOP.But Neil Patrick Harris has been setting the bar for him berry high these past few years,so the fact he's hamming it up in what I believe it's his first lead role is deserving of a Razzie(I haven't seen BEASTLY yet).And George Lopez as well for being obviously miscast.And he was also miscast in RIO(he played a brazilian character with a mexican accent!). -Actress;Supp. Actress:Not Sofia Vergara,nothing wrong with her.Nor Kety Perry,she's actually quite decent.But Jayma Mays is as weak as Harris. -Director:Yes.A few years ago,the AV Club made a list of the worst directors nobody knows,and Raja Gosnell was in it.I thought "He makes bad movies,but he isn't that bad".But this movie had painfully non-sensical shots,and until the credits I thought this was a first time director. -Screenplay:Yes.Wait...is there one? -Couple/Ensemble:No.The whole cast doesn't have to suffer because of the few bad ones.And,although Harris and Mays have no chemistry,their relationship development isn't important to the overall plot.What is important is their relationship with THE SMURFS,which is berry undeveloped,but that would sound too similar to...well,why we wanted Worst Ensemble in the first place. -Picture:Yes. |
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Vits
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: February 01 2010 Location: Chile Online Status: Offline Posts: 4813 |
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Posted: August 31 2011 at 9:40am |
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That's right.The reason why family movies don't get razzed so often is probably because they're all the same movie.
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SuperTeenTopia
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: August 18 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 304 |
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Posted: August 30 2011 at 8:28pm |
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Further proof that all children's movies are now the same:
Wow, Hollywood writers are lazy!
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"People say 'It's all about the story’. When you're making tentpole films, bull$hit." -Andy Hendrickson (Disney Animation Studios' Chief Technical Officer)
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Vits
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: February 01 2010 Location: Chile Online Status: Offline Posts: 4813 |
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Posted: August 29 2011 at 4:49pm |
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Yes.Worldwide is what counts.I made a mistake.And the way HeadRAZZ edited my post(originally it said "here's the link to see if what he says it's right")makes it sound a little harsh.Anyway,this is the right link.
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GTAHater767
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: October 25 2009 Location: I shall not say Online Status: Offline Posts: 1127 |
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Posted: August 29 2011 at 2:12pm |
I think the confusion stems from the fact that Wikipedia's Top 10 list is for planetary grosses, but your link is for domestic grosses. I was sure the planetary grosses were the most important...
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RAZZIE Dirty Dozen: Battlefield Earth, F G Fingered, Pluto Nash, A Sound of Thunder, Alone in the Dark, Dirty Love, Rise Silver Srfr, Daddy Day Camp, IKWKM, The Love Guru, All About Steve, Airbender
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Vits
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: February 01 2010 Location: Chile Online Status: Offline Posts: 4813 |
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Posted: August 29 2011 at 7:55am |
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Since Wikipedia isn't reliable, here's a B.O. MoJo link to show that what GTA read on WikiPedia is not true...
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Grounder the Critic
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: November 12 2010 Location: Las Vegas, NV Online Status: Offline Posts: 264 |
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Posted: August 29 2011 at 5:30am |
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A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!!!
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Pictures move, do they?
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GTAHater767
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: October 25 2009 Location: I shall not say Online Status: Offline Posts: 1127 |
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Posted: August 28 2011 at 10:25pm |
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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: On Wikipedia's list of the top 10 grossing films of 2011, The Smurfs 3D has just replaced X-Men: First Class for the #10 spot. Now Dark of the Moon, On Stranger Tides, and The Hangover Part II have some very stiff competition for "Worst Film Everyone Saw." The only arguments left for Dark of the Moon being a Worst Picture finalist besides the front-of-camera work, are the squandered potential, and Michael Bay's half-baked keeping of promises. On Stranger Tides and The Hangover Part II don't stand a chance in the 2011 RAZZIE race at this point.
Personally, I feel the same way Cartman did when Terrance & Phillip was replaced with She's the Sheriff in Episode 106.
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RAZZIE Dirty Dozen: Battlefield Earth, F G Fingered, Pluto Nash, A Sound of Thunder, Alone in the Dark, Dirty Love, Rise Silver Srfr, Daddy Day Camp, IKWKM, The Love Guru, All About Steve, Airbender
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SuperTeenTopia
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: August 18 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 304 |
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Posted: August 23 2011 at 6:26pm |
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My friends and I have noticed these live action movies about 80s cartoons are all the same: There's a guy who wants to pitch an idea to his boss at work, but he is rejected. Then he meets a talking animal(s) or fairytale creature(s), and the animal(s)/creature(s) help him with his idea, which becomes a success, and everyone lives happily ever after.
It's so "lather, rinse, repeat"! |
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"People say 'It's all about the story’. When you're making tentpole films, bull$hit." -Andy Hendrickson (Disney Animation Studios' Chief Technical Officer)
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Mayhem5185
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: October 10 2007 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 259 |
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Posted: August 22 2011 at 11:14pm |
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I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic f**king hatreds! George Carlin
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jesse685
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: May 12 2011 Location: Australia Online Status: Offline Posts: 419 |
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Posted: August 09 2011 at 7:15pm |
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"If you can't make it good, make it 3D!" Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
F**k Yeah/WTF Were They Thinking Awards Results Live-Tweet @jesse685 |
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Vheid
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: December 10 2010 Location: Utrecht Online Status: Offline Posts: 978 |
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Posted: August 09 2011 at 1:45pm |
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I was just checking the "New Dates & Changes"-section at Box Office Mojo... And guess which movie has just been anounced...
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thomsonmg2000
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: October 20 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 184 |
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Posted: August 06 2011 at 11:25am |
Cracked isn't far off in that assumption: http://blip.tv/the-cinema-snob/the-smurfs-review-5424649 Seriously, what happened to children's movies these days? |
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Seltzerberg is back?
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!! http://www.disastermovie.org http://www.vampiressuck.org/ |
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Michaels
RAZZIE® Inner Sanctum
Joined: May 12 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2848 |
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Posted: August 04 2011 at 4:04pm |
Actually, according to an (very) old Cartoon Network ad, the Smurfs are green, it's just that you have to adjust the color settings to your TV.
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"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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