First of all, before I go on any further on how I wish I had been run over by Will Ferrell in a 18 wheeler semi filled to the brim with un-brought copies of "Land of the Lost" rather than watching "Bucky Larson" (What I do for you John!) I want to compliment John and the rest of the Razzie staff for such a great job they did with the Razzie final nominee ballot press release. It had the usual style and grace which both I and my son have grown accustomed to in the last 5 years with watching the Razzie Award show at which we will be in attendance on April 1st. One Last highlight I would like to share is meeting Chip Dornell whom we met while we were in line waiting to go in for the press release at MAGICOPOLIS and his handling of a Japan Tourist who wanted to know what was going on inside MAGICOPOLIS and what a Razzie was. If it was not for Chip translating what our tourist friend from Tokyo was saying the rest of us in line would have no idea what he was talking about. Anyways, enough stalling and on to the review which I can with a clear conscience say this was the worst movie I have seen in my life.
After leaving the press release both my son and I had both seen Jack and Jill (which by the way was an Academy Award winner compared to this home made trash heap) and had not yet seen Bucky, so the next evening we rented it from Red Box so we could fairly evaluated it for the final ballot. So we got our Del Taco at the ready and put the DVD in the Blu-ray player on my big screen and proceeded to watch.
What was clearly the 1st sign of what direction “Bucky” was heading into is when we saw an inbreed farmer (probably left over from Deliverance) smack peanut butter all over his Junk so his goat could “snack” on it, this was still in the middle of the intro credits before we even get to Bucky himself. Once the Peanut Butter and Goat credits finally ended we see Bucky at his job as a grocery sacker at “Fooders” where his boss played by Curtis Armstrong (AKA Booger) fires poor Bucky (Not clear why but it does not really matter anyways). I’ll skip over the dinner seen with Bucky’s Parents and get to where Bucky goes to his friends house to watch a new movie. The movie that Bucky watches (And at the same time masturbates to) is a 1970’s porno of his parents. At this point Bucky realizes his destiny and decides to go to Hollywood to be a porn star. The rest of this you will have to rent from Red Box and experience the holocaust yourself, I can’t bring myself to type anymore. I’m having violent flashbacks as it is with the little I managed to hammer out. Please GOD, Strike down these unholy images from my brain! Take me to my special place where I may forget.
My first thoughts was to trash both my TV and Blu-Ray player so I could sanctify my entertainment system but came to my senses in time before I had found my sons metal bat in the garage. Upon returning “Bucky” back to the Red Box Kiosk I hesitated briefly because I was afraid the machine would abruptly catch fire after inserting Bucky back into it, luckily it went without incident.
I never truly recognized how bad the economy had gotten until watching Bucky, seeing good actors like Don Johnson, Christina Ricci, Stephen Doriff, Jimmy Fallen, and Pauly Shore (Yes I said Pauly Shore, Bio-Dome was a park walk with what Nick Swardson did) give up what integrity they may have had to actually use their real names with this movie.
To Top it all off Nick Swardson actually defends is big ZERO achievement with the following statement in a October 2011 interview, in which he blamed its poor financial showing on the difficulties of advertising the material: "To promote an R-rated movie, with commercials, with this character, it was just really, really hard. It was hard to get the movie across to people. The trailer in theaters was really tame because we couldn't show any of the insanity, and even if we did it, it wouldn't hit because it had no context. It was just really frustrating." He predicted the film would find more appreciation on DVD. The Dunderhead then continued by dismissing the negative reviews saying. "I knew the critics were going to bury us ... None of those reviewers was psyched to see Bucky Larson and laugh. They go in with the mentality 'f**k these guys for making another movie.' They go in there to kind of headhunt. It makes me laugh because it's just so embarrassing. It makes them look like such morons." I just keep thinking of Nick’s “Moron” comment and remembering the old saying “don’t throw stones in glass houses”, for further reference check out this link at the Wikipedia site.
The really sad thing my son who is an Adam Sandler fan (as myself) is hoping that Adam just put his name on the script and can have plausible deniability that he had any “creative input” concerning this abomination. Before anybody says anything we are not defending the stuff that Adam has put out over the years but you can usually get a laugh even if it was unintentional. This cannot be said for this unholy horror. I’m just hoping after this Adam Sandler revives Rob Schneider’s mediocre career, it will be a welcome site after seeing Nick’s first starring role.
So in Conclusion both I and my Son have found what will be our sure fire pick for the 32nd Razzies this year and urge the rest of our Razzie membership to do the same.
The "Networking IT" Movie Buff!
Words to live by: "Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
I made the comparison to Todd Solondz because his movies feature odd-ball characters and Bucky Larson also has several odd-ball characters in it. The difference is that Solondz movies are intentionally weird, while Bucky Larson is a Happy Madison / Adam Sandler production.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2 https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
The script: I make fun of bad scripts all the time, but this may be one of the worst I've seen in a while. The tone of the script is off at almost every conceivable level. It feels like a half-assed Todd Solondz film at times.
What do you have against the "N*gg*r, f*ck me hard!" guy (who I've never seen a movie of his)?
Time to start Rob Liefeld week. Also, I was able to see Underworld 4, so it will be reviewed Thursday.
Since Bucky Larson is SO bad, it gets a "9 Worst Things" review. Before I start ripping into this, here's the two things about this that I sorta "liked": Stephen Dorff and Kevin Nealon. Dorff is decent as a douchey porn king and Nealon is responsible for the only three laughes in the movie: "f*ckin' John Mayer", "that's just my intern", and "did you eat my grapes?"
9.) Don Johnson: Johnson plays a coked-up porn director who casts Bucky in his porno. Philip Michael Thomas is probably laughing in the unemployment line right now.
8.) Bernard Herrmann: Herrmann is most known for his role in The Lost Boys, one of only two Joel Schumacher movies that I like (the other is Falling Down). Herrmann's acting in this sucks worse than a teen-aged vampire.
7.) Christina Ricci: Ricci plays Bucky's love interest and a waitress who wants to be a waitress at a more glamorous restaurant. If that sounds like something that could be funny, congratulations, you're smarter than the writers because it's taken 100% seriously.
6.) Director Tom Brady: Watching Tom Brady flop at the Super Bowl was a trillion times more entertaining as watching this Tom Brady flop at making movies.
5.) The TV spots: Calling the ads for this stupid would be offensive to stupid people everywhere (only a few of whom had any involvement with this atrocity). The guy in the ads is Peter Dante, who was in Just Go With It and Jack & Jill. So yeah, he may have a career -- because he sucks at Adam Sandler's teet (sorry for that mental image!).
4.) Nick Swardson: Swardson is just horrible in this. The only good thing about his performance is that it killed his "movie star" career in its first outing.
3.) Any scene where Bucky touches himself: There are many scenes in the film where Bucky masterbates and it's f*cking creepy. Seriously, it's creepier than all the non-baby scenes in Human Centipede II!
2.) The script: I make fun of bad scripts all the time, but this may be one of the worst I've seen in a while. The tone of the script is off at almost every conceivable level. It feels like a half-assed Todd Solondz film at times.
1.) The cruelty: Most Happy Madison movies are cheerful, but not this one. At times it fells like one of my least favorite genres: the sh*t happens movie. A sh*t happens movie is a film that's hook is that it features terrible things happening to the characters. It seems like the\is film takes sick pleasure in making Bucky suffer.
It felt good to let that out!
Next-up: New Year's Eve!
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2 https://twitter.com/Scott_DAgostino
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