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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Forum member reviews
    Posted: July 27 2014 at 9:14pm
Please tell me that story links to an Onion article or a RickRoll?
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
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moviecritic1994 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 27 2014 at 9:01pm
OMG... really? let's just hope this article is all false and made up to receive publicity.
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JoeBacon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 27 2014 at 8:45pm
I hate to break it to folks, but Will Smith's next project will be the Trayvon Martin story with his son Jaden in the starring role...

http://www.thenewsnerd.com/entertainment/jaden-smith-cast-as-trayvon-martin/
2014 Pic: LEGEND OF HERCULES! Actor: Aaron Echkardt, Director: Renny Harlin, Remake: Transcendence
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moviecritic1994 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:51pm
Shaq might even be a Razzie nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in Blended. He's not in the movie for very long, but man he's still annoying when he is on screen.
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oiram View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:44pm
Well, thank you for reviewing it. I'm sorry you had to sit through it. Makes me dislike Adam Sandler more because he keeps putting Shaq in his movie now.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:17pm
There are a lot of "in jokes" and puns. One of them being is when the hammer is revealed for the first time. Richard Roundtree's character then says "I especially like the Shaft"... that was kind of painful
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oiram View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:14pm
It'd be probably even worse if you've seen the movie Shaft, as the star is in Steel, pretty much embarrassing himself.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:10pm
Maybe if there really was some unintentional hilarity with this film, I could've had fun with it. However, it's a film that is so boring and useless to the point where I'd rather watch Batman & Robin three times back to back. IT'S THAT BAD!
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oiram View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 2:05pm
So you finally got around to this.

Wow, so bad you can't even make fun of it. That is the WORST of bad movies.
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 25 2014 at 1:52pm
STEEL (1997)




Steel accomplishes a feat that is almost impossible among Superhero movies... it is flat out boring!!! It's a tedious film that has the worst writing and worst leading star ever. This film might be even worse than Batman & Robin. Let's look at one of the stupidest superhero movies, Steel.

John Henry Irons (Shaquille O'Neal) is a weapon designer for the military. When obvious villain Nathaniel Burke (Judd Nelson) wants to do some serious damage with some other weapons (whatever) John decides to become a crime fighter with a rubber mask and terrible punch lines. Let's get down to one of the biggest issues with Steel. The story in the film just isn't interesting. I don't know if it's the execution or just the fact that the story was probably just as boring on paper as it was on screen. Even the environment in this film seems really dirty and drab. There is no real excitement or interest put into this film.

Why the hell is Shaquille O'Neal in this movie? It's hard to even call him an actor or to even say what he's doing on screen is even an attempt at acting. I know the Nostalgia Critic has said this before, but Shaq looks like he's in commercial more than half the time. Which yeah, I know he's been a lot of commercials but I think maybe that's the problem. Maybe Shaq doesn't know the difference between acting in a movie and acting in a commercial. Or maybe he just can't act, take your pick.

The sad thing is that the rest of the cast is trying their hardest to give at least a decent performance. Annabeth Gish might be the best actress in this movie (even though the word "best" is used quite loosely). Judd Nelson is also trying to have fun with a villain role that is so bland and clichéd as hell. As for Ray J... yeah he's just an annoying twit here.

It's really hard to have any fun or interest in a film that doesn't even try. No one behind the camera had any interest or fun making Steel. It's a lame film with really bad acting from Shaq, really bad writing, boring environments and an even more boring story. Just avoid this film, you might as well watch Batman &Robin again. Is Steel worse than Catwoman? Well that's a debate for another day.
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 6:48pm
To oiram and moviecritic1994: I'm not sure if I could recommend the 1956 version. The score is good, but the movie is more spectacle than film. HeadRAZZ agrees with me.

To GTAHater767: The Searchers should be number 1 on that list.
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
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moviecritic1994 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:30pm
If I can find it, I'll watch it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:30pm
Upon closer inspection, I realized that the original Around The World in 80 Days was vastly superior to the remake. The original has a grander a scale, shinier cast, and MUCH higher 73% (B) approval rating from pro critics. It met a few of the qualifications to be a Best Picture runner-up, but only a handful of the most basic ones, but none of the qualifications to actually win. Even the commoners gave it 60% approval rating (B-).

In the end, I put the original in 25th place on the Ancient Best Movies of '956 (out of about 150-200 movies made that year), while the remake got 8th place on the Bottom 40 Films of '004 (the 8th worst of about 400 films made in that year).

If you're asking me, "How could it be better than all but 24 movies in 1956?", I present a recap of the list:

25 Around the World in Eighty Days
24 Between Heaven and Hell
23 The Rainmaker
22 The Girl Can't Help It
21 Richard III
20 Written on the Wind
19 The Harder They Fall
18 Baby Doll
17 The Bad Seed
16 Anastasia
15 Friendly Persuasion
14 Somebody Up There Likes Me
13 Lust For Life
12 The Man Who Knew Too Much [remake]
11 Invasion of the Body Snatchers
10 The Forbidden Planet
9 The Ladykillers
8 Umberto D
7 Le Ballon Rouge
6 The Searchers
5 The Court Jester
4 La Strada
3 Giant
2 The King and I
1 The Ten Commandments

In conclusion, Around The World in Eighty Days was somewhat good, but the rest of the year's greatest films were better!
Possible Unofficial Forums, given <35% approval: Ags 8; TMNT '014. Ags 13; Let's Be Cops. Ags 15; The Giver, The Expendables 3. Ags 29; Jessabelle
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oiram View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote oiram Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 5:05pm
How about this?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(1956_film)
Elizabeth Hartman and Judith Barsi are more talented and beautiful than Scarlett Johansson and Chloe Grace Moretz. Fact.

Worst Supporting Actor: Brendan Fraser/Gimme Shelter and The Nut Job


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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 23 2014 at 4:02pm
AROUND THEWORLD IN 80 DAYS (2004)



I can't really describe this movie in one word like I do with some reviews. I must use two words... Stereotypical Nonsense. This version of Around The World in 80 Days is nothing but nonsensical noise with Stereotypes (some offensive and some just stereotypes of stereotypes). I'll just say right now I have not read the book by Jules Verne but it surely has to be better than this stupid waste of time and energy. Let's look at the embarrassing adaptation of "Around The World in 80 Days".

Phileas Fogg is an inventor who makes a bet with Lord Kelvin. He bets he can travel Around The World in 80 Days. If he wins, he'll be the new head of the Royal Academy of Science. If he loses, he must never invent again. Along with him is his new "valet" Lau Xing (Jackie Chan) and a bland French stereotype named Monique. I might as well get this out of the way first, no one in this movie feels like a real person. I really hate it when movies are pretty much just live action cartoons with no real substance or reality to it. The film is so silly to the point where it's hard to take it seriously when it does have a serious moment. 80 Days doesn't know when to be serious and when to be funny.

Even though the entire cast is trying very hard to make their roles believable, all of them pretty much fall on their faces. Jackie Chan really is at his worst here and I feel really sorry for him in this picture. However, I still have no idea what Rob Schinder, the Wilson brothers and Arnold Schwarzenegger are even in this movie. That's like putting Nick Swardson in The Diary of Anne Frank. It just doesn't feel right does it?

Another big reason why this movie is idiotic is the fact that there are quite a bit of offensive stereotypes of other countries and cultures. This movie had a big opportunity to really be informative and explore other cultures of different people in this world. Instead, it's a bunch of action scenes, running gags and a bad joke made even worse by the Screenplay. We basically have a live action cartoon that just won't shut up.

Around The World in 80 Days had great potential to be something that was both a fun and a serious look at different kinds of people. As is though, this films is just a loud nonsensical mess. It's awful paced, sloppily written, terribly acted and kind of insulting due to racial stereotypes throughout the film. So... what should be my next review???
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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2014 at 5:44pm
The Purge is a movie with endless potential. It should be a great thriller. However, the film wastes its great premise on a boring and awful story. The Purge is such a dumb movie and so bereft of positive qualities, this is going to be a 9 worst things review.

9.) Lena Headey: Headey is a great actress, but she's shockingly bad in this film. She's great when she's playing badass characters like in 300, Game Of Thrones, and The Sarah Conner Chronicles. Here, she's badly miscast as a simpering housewife.

8.) The scares: The Purge is ostensibly a horror movie. This is despite the fact that it's as scary as a Baby Einstein video. If you want to see a home invasion movie that's actually scary, just re-watch The Strangers. Sure the characters in The Strangers are stupid as Hell, but they're smarter than these jokers. The characters in this movie are idiots!

7.) The characters in this movie are idiots: The characters in this are so dumb, that the remote control car that the kid drives around is the smartest character! Ethan Hawke's character is easily the dumbest. The husband designs security systems, yet doesn't think to have a backup generator in his house? 

6.) James DeMonaco: DeMonaco is the writer and director of this sh*t. He's a hack who can't write or direct. He doesn't have an original idea in his head either. All of the villains die the same way, they're about to kill someone and then an unseen character shotguns them from behind.

5.) Ethan Hawke: Hawke is a great actor, but his performance is awful in this. If the villains in this movie weren't even more annoying, I'd be rooting for them.

4.) The villains: There are many great and iconic horror movie villains. These villains are neither. Their actions and mannerisms aren't scary in the least. In fact, they're downright hilarious. Not helping matters, the lead villain is played by the horrendous actors Rhys Wakefield.

3.) The political message: The Purge has a left wing political message that it completely bungles through a combination of obnoxious heavy-handedness and stupidity about reality. The Purge is revealed to be an excuse for the rich to kill the poor. This apparently keeps the unemployment rate low and the economy high. However, a low unemployment rate is actually bad for the economy. It causes more inflation and causes stagnation in the workforce.

2.) The blown potential: They idea of a night where crime is legal could have lead to an interesting and engrossing movie. There's a million things you could do with this premise. DeMonaco chose the least interesting choice for a premise. The premise was done much better in an episode of The Powerpuff Girls. The film is an incredibly boring home invasion movie. The fact that this film made a crap load while the great home invasion movie You're Next flopped is a disgrace.

1.) Lars Von Trier movies have more respect for humanity: Early in the film, Ethan Hawke's character listens to a person call into a radio show and enthusiastically talk about how he plans to kill his boss. The film's events can only happen if every single person in the film's world is a sociopath. The film is an ugly repulsive film that's impossibly dumb. It's message is dumb and heavy-handed and the acting is awful.

When I first saw this movie, I gave it a D. In hindsight, I was way to kind. Grade: F
I'm the Goddamn Batman.-All-Star Batman And Robin #2
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