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SchumacherH8ter's most hated movies

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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: SchumacherH8ter's most hated movies
    Posted: June 25 2014 at 11:56am
Instead of one post per film like my Le Moyne list, there will be multiple films per post. Here is the rundown of how I'm going to run this down:
91-100
81-90
71-80
61-70
51-60
46-50
41-45
36-40
31-40
25-30
21-25
19-20
17-18
15-16
13-14
11-12
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 12:55pm
100.)
                           

Without a doubt, The Devil Inside is the worst found footage horror movie ever. It also has the worst movie ending ever too. My review.

99.)
                                      

Season Of The Witch is one of Nicolas Cage's worst films and that's saying a lot. The worst part of it is that it's not even funny to watch. My review.

98.)
                                     

One of my best friends from Le Moyne considered this the worst film he'd ever seen and I don't blame him. It's nothing more than a glorified vanity project for the Brothers Strause who are former special effects guys. The main characters are superstar special effects guys with hot wives. When the film looks like it's about to get interesting, it ends abruptly.

97.)
                                       

This movie had potential, but a combination of a wretched script and Wesley Snipes' horrendous behavior ruined it. Not even Jessica Biel in a hot outfit could save this one. My review.

96.)
                                     

The film has an insane production schedule that's more interesting than the film itself. Then again, the story of how tables are made is more interesting too. The scare scenes are more grotesque than scary and not even the cinematography could save it. My review.

95.)
                                     

Diane Keaton needs to find her youngest daughter Mandy Moore a man because, as the film helpfully teaches us, a woman is nothing without a dick to guide them. Diane Keaton is nails-on-a-chalkboard bad as is the film.

94.)
                                        

This was originally a raunchy comedy but, after terrible test screenings, it was turned into a Disney movie to try and turn a profit. There's almost no laughs to be found and all of the actors are awful. My review.

93.)
                                       

Apparently, making a movie about people pooping in other people's mouths gave director Tom Six a large ego. Six desperately wants to be Luis Bunuel, but he has no talent. The film also contains one of the most unneededly grotesque scenes in recent memory. My review.

92.)
                                   

Dumb And Dumber is an incredibly funny movie. This one was horrifyingly unfunny. Eric Christian Olsen does a decent Jim Carrey impression, but it can't save the film. The film's so bad, that it makes me anticipate Dumb And Dumber To because there's no way it could be as bad as this one.

91.)
                                        

I've told many people about this movie and some have refused to believe that it existed. It feels like one of those films that were made after Air Bud, but was made a year before. In addition to Matt LeBlanc, Jack Warden and future Jesus Jim Caviezel star in this dud of a comedy.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 2:26pm
Once the countdown is over, I'll post the rest of these, but for now, here's how your 100th through 91st most hated films ever compared with my Top & Bottom 40 Films rosters. So far, none have made my Top 40 lists, but 2 have not made my Worst lists:

100. The Devil Inside. Bottom 40 Films of '012, #21
99.  Season of the Witch. Bottom 40 Films of '011, #7
98.  Skyline. Bottom 40 Films of '010, #22
97.  Blade: Trinity. Not on the Bottom 40 Films of '004
96.  Exorcist: The Beginning. Bottom 40 Films of '004, #9
95.  Because I Said So. Bottom 40 Films of '007, #13
94.  Old Dogs. Bottom 40 Films of '009, #2
93.  The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence). Bottom 40 Films of '011, #24
92.  Dumb and DumberEr: When Harry Met Lloyd. Bottom 40 Films of '003, #6
91.  Ed. No Worst of '996 list was ever made. (Bottom 40 Films starts with '000)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 4:23pm
I too will post my grades (using your system) of every movie you list:

F, Rotten Asshole, D-, D F, C, C, D, no grade (I have to re-watch it) and Rotten Asshole.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 6:31pm
90.)
                                  

Zookeeper is one of the worst movies to come from Happy Madison's factory of unfunny, which is saying something. The talking animals in the film are almost incidental to the plot and are incredibly annoying. My review.

89.)
                                   

Imagine Spring Breakers except squeaky clean, filled with awful songs, crappy acting, and completely awful. The screen debuts (and swan songs) of Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini has the second shortest theatrical run after Joel Schumacher's Trespass and with good reason. On a brighter note, the absolute failure of From Justin To Kelly killed off a buddy comedy starring Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard that was going to be made.

88.)
                                       

This is the first Uwe Boll on my list. In The Name Of The King has awful performances from everyone in the cast, especially Ray Liotta who has, in the words of the fine people at How Did This Get Made?, "cocaine eyes." What was Ron Perlman thinking when he appeared in this, other than his paycheck?

87.)
                                         

There's movies whose very existence baffles me. Then there's movies like Barb Wire, whose existence makes the existence of the movies in the last sentence seem plausible. The premise (a post-apocalyptic remake of Casablanca starring Pamela Anderson) seems less like a real movie and more like a fake movie from The Critic.

86.)
                                       

Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, two of the most horrifyingly unappealing actors to ever walk the face of the earth, played romantic leads in this Godawful comedy. The worst part of Killers is all of the great comedic actors (i.e. Rob Riggle, Casey Wilson, etc.) wasted in bland supporting roles.

85.)
                                       

Bad Company is a Joel Schumacher-directed buddy cop movie starring Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock (who plays twins) that was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. What more can be said about thos Godawful abortion of a movie.

84.)
                                      

When you're making a film about Alexander The Great, one of the greatest warlords to ever live, it stands to figure that you'd put in awesome 300-like action scenes. That is, unless you're Oliver Stone who forgoes action scenes in favor of unwatchable melodrama. With the exception of Rosario Dawson, all of the actors are awful. Colin Farrell (who castigated it on SNL later) makes for a less imposing Alexander The Great than William Shatner.

83.)
                                       

Size matters, but not as much as a good script or talented actors. Godzilla's known more nowadays for its Taco Bell tie-in and it's monumental failure than it's actual plot. That's because the film barely has one. My review.

82.)
                                  

Careers have been killed over flop movies before, but it's rare that a career was killed as spectacularly as Mike Myers' by The Love Guru. The Love Guru is one of the most bafflingly unfunny movies ever. You'd think that at least some of the jokes land, but none do. The scenes with young Pitka are scarier than scenes in most horror movies.

81.)
                                       

Baby Geniuses is an awful, unfunny "family" comedy. The lip-syncing for the babies isn't cute, it's horrifying. With the exception of Kim Cattrall (who's surprisingly delightful) all of the actors are awful. Today, everyone hates the film except Jaden Smith who seems to take its idea more seriously than most. My review.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 7:14pm
F, F, F, haven't seen it, F, haven't seen it, Rotten Asshole, haven't seen it, D and Rotten Asshole.
Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

Today, everyone hates the film except Jaden Smith who seems to take its idea more seriously than most.

What do you mean?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviecritic1994 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 7:22pm
I'm going to guess the #1 spot will go to... Batman and Robin!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 7:59pm
Jaden Smith fired off a Tweet that said that if babies could talk, they'd be the smartest people on Earth. I think that when Jaden said that, he meant they'd be the smartest people on Earth when compared to him! This is without a doubt the dumbest thing he's ever done... except for Tweeting that everyone should drop out of school... and Tweeting that schools are indoctrination tools... and Tweeting that he turned 15 a while ago... and dressing up as white Batman for Kim and Kanye's wedding. I hate Jaden Smith so much.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 25 2014 at 10:06pm
What I just said before probably won't apply to this, because I didn't have a Worst Films list to name it to, but...

You bring up Baby Geniuses again. I have a lot of things I could, and have, said about it. First, it's a complete mystery to me why this didn't get nominated for Worst Picture instead of The Blair Witch Project. Second, my idea of the only positive thing about it is the memory of getting changed. Third, in case nobody ever figured this out, "omutsu" translates from Romaji into Kanji as "padding" (omu) and "absorbent" (tsu). Basically, "omutsu" translates as "diaper". The most shocking thing I can bring myself to tell any of you today? I know of some obscure brands of omutsu that are leagues better than what they have on the mainstream market today.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 27 2014 at 3:13pm
80.)
                                   

With a normal franchise, the last Highlander movie to be in theaters, Endgame, would be the worst. Shockingly it's not! It is still an awful movie with terrible action, dismal special effects, and quite possibly the worst Christopher Lambert performance! (gasps)

79.)
                                      

The Postman is the worst movie Kevin Costner starred in, which is saying something! If you haven't seen the film, just imagine Waterworld except on land and somehow worse. Also, it's almost three hours long.

78.)
                                        

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close is quite possibly the most disgusting example of Oscar bait I've ever seen. It's a film that desperately wants to be the next Rain Man, but is The Birth Of A Nation for people with autism instead! Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close also has one of the worst child actors ever seen in Thomas Horn. My review.

77.)
                                        

8MM is one of the most half-assed thrillers ever. There's no thrills whatsoever and the acting is incredibly poor. Nicolas Cage could have made it better if he went full bug-eyed, but he tragically didn't and Joaquin Phoenix is shockingly horrible. It's a boring thriller from Joel Schumacher. My review.

76.)
                                                

Miss March is allegedly a comedy, except there's no laughs to be found. Craig Robinson comes close to being funny, except his final scene ruins it. The film appears to have been written by an MRA creep too.

75.)
                                           

Madonna plays a missionary in this movie. What could I say to top that in hilarity?

74.)
                                           

That's a real movie poster and not something I made in Photoshop. There really was a Death Wish V and good God was it bad. It's so bad it makes Death Wish II look like Death Wish I! Charles Bronson looks so old in this movie, he looks like he needs a walker with a gun holster on it!

73.)
                                                   

Bob Hoskins absolutely loathed this movie, regarding it as his biggest mistake. Super Mario Bros. rivals Uwe Boll in video game-to-movie unfaithfulness. The colorful wonderland of the game is turned into a Godawful Blade Runner-inspired mess. Dennis Hopper is jawdroppingly bad as King Koopa.

72.)
                                                         

A Sound Of Thunder has some of the most hilarious special effects ever. The baboon-asaurs look like they're made from paper mache! Lead Edward Burns is so wooden, that you'd swear his father was Pinocchio!

71.)
                                               

After fighting General Zod in the last movie, Superman fights his great foe: a painfully unfunny Richard Pryor! The decision to turn Superman III into a comedy is one of the dumbest in movie history, "If I tilt the camera, everyone will love the name Roger Christian!", "Hey, let's put nipples on the Batsuit", and "Madonna could play a missionary." Not even great performances from Christopher Reeve and Annette O'Toole could save this funny farce. Superman IV is actually more watchable than this.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 27 2014 at 3:24pm
Haven't seen it, haven't seen it, D-, haven't seen it, B+ (as a guilty pleasure), haven't seen it, haven't seen it, F, D and D-.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote TorgoForever Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2014 at 5:12pm
Oh Miss March... that ending gag with Robinson is so horrifyingly wretched I tense up whenever that film is mentioned.
In advance, I warn the world that I have lost my sanity to Turkish Star Wars. Be prepared...
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2014 at 6:16pm
70.)
                                        

People will tell you that The Wicker Man remake is a bad movie classic. Don't believe them. The scenes where Cage freaks out and starts beating up old women (sometimes in a bear suit) are hilarious. Every other aspect is painfully boring. My review.

69.)
                                      

Halloween: Resurrection is a painfully bad horror movie and the worst film in the original Halloween franchise. A pre-BSG Katee Sackhoff is wasted in this disaster. A potential redeeming factor (Tyra Banks' character was slated to die) was removed and the worst part of the original Halloween franchise (Busta Rhimes beating up Michael Myers) is left intact. My review.

68.)
                                 

The Hottie And The Nottie is one of the most repulsive romantic-comedies ever. The romance is awful and the comedy is stillborn. Horrifically, Paris Hilton isn't the worst part: that would be the eugenics-supporting script!

67.)
                                    

One of the most baffling horror sequels ever is Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Great documentary director Joe Berlinger shows no skills when it comes to narrative films. Then again, the executives meddled the f*ck out of this film so he might have made a good movie but I doubt it. The acting is uniformly awful, especially Kim Director as the goth girl. One of the more confusing aspects is the shooting styles: it eschews the found footage gimmick and goes with a normal shooting style. My review.

66.)
                                     

What happens when your director misunderstood the book and the lead actress never even read it? You get the 1995 version of The Scarlet Letter! Not even a good performance from Gary Oldman can save this bomb. And this isn't even the worst Roland Joffe movie...

65.)
                                     

Captivity is one of the most reprehensible horror movies ever made. It exists to do nothing more than show a beautiful woman getting tortured. The film has the gall to suggest that the woman deserves her torture because she's a model. Not helping matters, producer Courtney Solomon shot extra torture footage to make it more "marketable." One upside: the film angered Joss Whedon so much, it inspired him to make his own horror movie. That movie was The Cabin In The Woods. My review.

64.)
                                   

Lady In The Water signified that the M. Night Shyamalan who made The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable was dead. The M. Night Shyamalan we were given with Lady In The Water (and the one we have now) is an egomaniacal dick who's completely blind to how awful his movies are. Shyamalan casts himself as a man who's writing is so brilliant that it inspires the president and has a film critic get eaten alive. There's some stuff with some water nymph or something too, but it's impossibly boring. My review.

63.)
                                         

Glitter couldn't have come at a worse time: it came out ten days after 9/11 and in the midst of Mariah Carey's nervous breakdown. However, if Glitter came out during an era of world peace and Mariah was mentally sound it still would have bombed. That's because the film is a regurgitation of almost every trope ever and a poorly made one at that. One aspect that really shows how little they cared: when Mariah's character was little she has a cat that looks exactly the same when Mariah is aged up.

62.)
                                       

The first Mortal Kombat is one of the best video game movies (which isn't saying much). The sequel, Annihilation, is one of the worst video game movies (which is saying a lot). The special effects are horrendous. The monsters look like they're made of Play-Doh!! The action scenes are awful too. The film's so bad that you'll be missing Paul Worthless Sh*t Anderson!!

61.)
                                  

Great movies have bombed at their time of release (i.e. The Rules Of The Game, Tokyo Story), but Heaven's Gate isn't one of them. The critics that are now showering phrase on this movie is baffling. Not only where the critics in 1981 right to be harsh on this, they were actually too kind. The film's overlong, poorly acted, and awfully directed. My review.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Vits Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2014 at 6:31pm
F, haven't seen it, haven't seen it, F, haven't seen it, Rotten Asshole, C, haven't seen it, haven't seen it and haven't seen it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Doppy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2014 at 5:27am
#91 position : ED!
A film that's like a Pandora's box: open it and it will come out all the ugliness in the world! 
The perfect combination of voluntary and arrogant trash (Ed the mechanical chimp for example) and the absolute vanity ... I am sure that if there had not been Striprease that year, it would have won in all RAZZ categories for which it was candidate.


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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2014 at 8:37pm
Here's another "movie" to add to your list from Dimwit D'Stupid, er, Dinesh D'Souza!

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/381509/dsouzas-america-john-fund


GIVE KIRK CAMERON THE RAZZING HE DESERVES!!!!!!
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