Who to Kick in the Ca-REAR?!?!?!

WE STARTED OUT 2008 CERTAIN THAT OUR NEXT, BERRY DESERVING WORST CAREER ACHEIVEMENT RAZZIE® "WINNER" OUGHTA BE OUR AWL-TIME CHAM-PEEN, SYLVESTER STALLONE (WHOSE RAMBO IS THIS YEAR's WORST ACHIEVEMENT FRONT-RUNNER).

BUT THEN WE SAW RAZZIE®  REPEAT OFFENDER / RECURRING WORST DIRECTOR NOMINEE (AND WORLD-CLASS BAD MOVIE MAVEN) UWE BOLL "DEFENDING HIMSELF" on YOU TUBE (LINK). UWE's HILARIOUS, ANGRY and EXPLETIVE-CLUTTERED RANT, COMBINED with the FACT THAT BOLL COULD HAVE FOUR (or MORE!) FILMS RELEASED in 2008, SUDDENLY MAKES HIM a WORTHY ADVERSARY for OL' HAM-BONE/RAMBO HIZ-SELF... 

SO, in the TRUE DEMOCRATIC SPIRIT of the RAZZIES® ,  WE'RE SEEKIN' YER FEEDBACK: WHO DESERVES a KICK in the CA-REAR MORE: SLY or UWE?? 

FEEL FREE to LET US KNOW YER THOUGHTS BELOW ...WE DON'T REALLY GOTTA MAKE UP OUR MINDS 'TILL OUR FIRST PRESS RELEASE on THE 29th RAZZIES®  GOES OUT in LATE JANUARY, 2009...

SLY: "I shoulda known makin' another RAMBO movie would come back to bite me in the asp!"

 

...Uwe may be a "Litle Nazi Upstart," but after "Name of the King" became his 17th box office bomb in a row, Boll's so-called "career" may finally be over. Besides, if all the films listed as possible 2008 releases after Uwe's name on his IMDb page (LINK) actually do get released in the US, he could top Eddie Murphy's record for most nominations in a single year.

Sadly, "Rambo" did just well enough worldwide that there's now talk of a "Rambo 5." Meanwhile, the scuttlebutt on Boll is that he's a done deal, totally toast. Seems to me, if we'll have another shot at Sly in a year or two and Uwe's on his way out, Boll's our boy for 2008!

Uwe all the way.

Deserving as Boll may be, the average movie goer doesn't know Uwe Boll from a hole in the wall. Most people have not only never heard of him, they haven't seen or heard of any of his films. On the other hand, everyone knows Stallone; and outside of his ardent fan club, everyone has their own favorite bad Stallone flick.

In the history of cinema, guys like Boll are a dime a dozen, and are just a lost to collective memory now as he will be in about 10 years. But Stallone's sublime ineptitude will march on for decades, much in the tradition of Ed Wood Jr. and The Three Stooges.

If any sort of Razzie Hall of Fame ever comes into existance, Boll will undoubtedly have a place of honor. But when it comes to a lifetime achievement award, Boll not only ranks well behind Stallone,  he is far less deserving than several dozen other worthy cinematic "icons."

Sorry, but when it comes to The Three Stooges, one must tell it like it is (with all due apologies to Howard Cosell, who also made a Razzable cameo or two). Their shorts might be excusable, but their full length features, particulary after the passing of Curly, were cinematic toe jam.

I can watch most Stallone films more than once.  Ooo-He Blows films, on the other hand, causes my brain to freeze up, my jaw to drop, and my innards to writhe in pain.  I would go for Uwe Boll, hands down...he's worse.

 

If you're looking at collateral damage the movies cause, Uwe Boll should win it hands down.

Sly has not killed off any video game franchises.  Uwe Suck has killed off more video game titles than Jack Thompson could dream of doing.

Uwel Hurl has done more damage to the video game industry by turning excellent games into really terrible movies.  Jack Thompson could not do anything that destructive.

Uwe the toilet Boll has angered G4 with his incompetence.  Sylvester Stallone has never angered an entire cable channel with anything he has done.

PS:  If you don't know who Jack Thompson is, just consider yourself lucky.

Originally posted by MJ Narcy If you're looking at collateral damage the movies cause, Uwe Boll should win it hands down.

Sorry, but I am compelled to disagree for a reason I have already pointed out. Boll's movies have been such box-office duds that the associated "collateral damage" wouldn't inconvienence an ant hill for more than a couple of hours.

I don't question the man's aptitude for generating crap. I simply question the long term relevence of the crap he is generating. We aren't talking about the kind of delicious ineptitude guys like Ed Wood or Roger Corman could produce, which we all still love. Boll's stuff hasn't found any sort of following in contemporary terms, nor will it develop any signficant cult following down the road. That stands in sharp contrast to the unintentional hilarity Stallone has brought to the screen, which I'm sure will stand immortal among our progeny who will appreciate the finer points of bad cinema for generations to come.

And as I find myself promoting the "talents" of Stallone for the second time this week, there must be a really amazing ice skating competition going on down there in hell.