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Who to Kick in the Ca-REAR?!?!?!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Who to Kick in the Ca-REAR?!?!?!
    Posted: April 07 2008 at 2:34am

WE STARTED OUT 2008 CERTAIN THAT OUR NEXT, BERRY DESERVING WORST CAREER ACHEIVEMENT RAZZIE® "WINNER" OUGHTA BE OUR AWL-TIME CHAM-PEEN, SYLVESTER STALLONE (WHOSE RAMBO IS THIS YEAR's WORST ACHIEVEMENT FRONT-RUNNER).

BUT THEN WE SAW RAZZIE®  REPEAT OFFENDER / RECURRING WORST DIRECTOR NOMINEE (AND WORLD-CLASS BAD MOVIE MAVEN) UWE BOLL "DEFENDING HIMSELF" on YOU TUBE (LINK). UWE's HILARIOUS, ANGRY and EXPLETIVE-CLUTTERED RANT, COMBINED with the FACT THAT BOLL COULD HAVE FOUR (or MORE!) FILMS RELEASED in 2008, SUDDENLY MAKES HIM a WORTHY ADVERSARY for OL' HAM-BONE/RAMBO HIZ-SELF... 

SO, in the TRUE DEMOCRATIC SPIRIT of the RAZZIES® ,  WE'RE SEEKIN' YER FEEDBACK: WHO DESERVES a KICK in the CA-REAR MORE: SLY or UWE?? 

FEEL FREE to LET US KNOW YER THOUGHTS BELOW ...WE DON'T REALLY GOTTA MAKE UP OUR MINDS 'TILL OUR FIRST PRESS RELEASE on THE 29th RAZZIES®  GOES OUT in LATE JANUARY, 2009...

SLY: "I shoulda known makin' another RAMBO movie would come back to bite me in the asp!"

 

Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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Nasty Man View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Nasty Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2008 at 2:37am

Are you kidding??  Compared to Stallone's long record of "service" to the Razzies, Uwe Boll is a Little Nazi Upstart.

It's gotta be Sly!

 

Everything SUX!
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#1-Film Freak!! View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2008 at 2:43am

...Uwe may be a "Litle Nazi Upstart," but after "Name of the King" became his 17th box office bomb in a row, Boll's so-called "career" may finally be over. Besides, if all the films listed as possible 2008 releases after Uwe's name on his IMDb page (LINK) actually do get released in the US, he could top Eddie Murphy's record for most nominations in a single year.

Sadly, "Rambo" did just well enough worldwide that there's now talk of a "Rambo 5." Meanwhile, the scuttlebutt on Boll is that he's a done deal, totally toast. Seems to me, if we'll have another shot at Sly in a year or two and Uwe's on his way out, Boll's our boy for 2008!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote tomsmobr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2008 at 4:50am

Can't Sly & Uwe both get The WORST CAREER ACHIEVEMENT RAZZIE...or does have to be just one of them?

 

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SchumacherH8ter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 07 2008 at 10:30am
Uwe all the way.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Berrynoia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2008 at 8:28am

Sly has won 10 Razzies to become all time cham-peen worst actor.  Uwe Boll has zero, with 2 nods.

The nod for Alone in the Dark fell short to Dirty Love's John Mallory Asher (also the Worst Picture winner) and the nod for Bloodrayne fell short to M. Night Shyamalan and Lady in the Water.  This year, I can see another "M. Night out-razzes the Toilet Boll for Worst Director" Razzie awards happening.

And about that four Uwe Boll movies in a year: not going to happen.  His movies tend to get pushed back a lot, and I believe he wanted to get Postal and In the Name of the King released in 2007.  At least we will have Boll as a consistent Razzie contender.

Sly easily deserves the Worst Career Acheivement Award, hands down.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2008 at 4:49pm

Deserving as Boll may be, the average movie goer doesn't know Uwe Boll from a hole in the wall. Most people have not only never heard of him, they haven't seen or heard of any of his films. On the other hand, everyone knows Stallone; and outside of his ardent fan club, everyone has their own favorite bad Stallone flick.

In the history of cinema, guys like Boll are a dime a dozen, and are just a lost to collective memory now as he will be in about 10 years. But Stallone's sublime ineptitude will march on for decades, much in the tradition of Ed Wood Jr. and The Three Stooges.

If any sort of Razzie Hall of Fame ever comes into existance, Boll will undoubtedly have a place of honor. But when it comes to a lifetime achievement award, Boll not only ranks well behind Stallone,  he is far less deserving than several dozen other worthy cinematic "icons."

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2008 at 5:13pm
Please don't lump The Three Stooges in with such inept knuckleheads as Da
Sly Man or Uwe the Toilet Bowl.

After seeing Drillbit Taylor, I got to say Owen Wilson is surely in the running
for a Razz-ing along with Paris Hilton's Hottie and the Nottie, First Sunday
and Leatherheads. Damn we just started April and here are six worthy
contenders already

And then there's Tommy's little gem coming down the pike too!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2008 at 5:23pm
Sorry, but when it comes to The Three Stooges, one must tell it like it is (with all due apologies to Howard Cosell, who also made a Razzable cameo or two). Their shorts might be excusable, but their full length features, particulary after the passing of Curly, were cinematic toe jam.
Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Mrs. Magnatech Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 08 2008 at 6:26pm

Give it to Sly. The latest Rambo movie was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Anyone responsible for something that horrid deserves the kind of kick in the ass that only the Razzies can give!

 

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cvcjr13 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2008 at 7:09am

I can watch most Stallone films more than once.  Ooo-He Blows films, on the other hand, causes my brain to freeze up, my jaw to drop, and my innards to writhe in pain.  I would go for Uwe Boll, hands down...he's worse.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Mayhem5185 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2008 at 8:29pm

I say give Lifetime Achievement to Stallone. Even though Rambo wasn't nearly as bad as most of the sh*t movies coming out this year (Or the ones that have already come out) this has been a long time coming for him. However, I also think it's time for the Razzies to give Uwe Boll his due. But I would say his movies are going to be far more deserving of Worst Picture and Worst Director, at the very least...

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote MJ Narcy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2008 at 3:36am
If you're looking at collateral damage the movies cause, Uwe Boll should win it hands down.

Sly has not killed off any video game franchises.  Uwe Suck has killed off more video game titles than Jack Thompson could dream of doing.

Uwel Hurl has done more damage to the video game industry by turning excellent games into really terrible movies.  Jack Thompson could not do anything that destructive.

Uwe the toilet Boll has angered G4 with his incompetence.  Sylvester Stallone has never angered an entire cable channel with anything he has done.

PS:  If you don't know who Jack Thompson is, just consider yourself lucky.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote WaterBoySucks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2008 at 4:01am
Originally posted by cvcjr13

I can watch most Stallone films more than once.  Ooo-He Blows films, on the other hand, causes my brain to freeze up, my jaw to drop, and my innards to writhe in pain.  I would go for Uwe Boll, hands down...he's worse.

 

  

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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2008 at 5:10pm

Originally posted by MJ Narcy

If you're looking at collateral damage the movies cause, Uwe Boll should win it hands down.


Sorry, but I am compelled to disagree for a reason I have already pointed out. Boll's movies have been such box-office duds that the associated "collateral damage" wouldn't inconvienence an ant hill for more than a couple of hours.

I don't question the man's aptitude for generating crap. I simply question the long term relevence of the crap he is generating. We aren't talking about the kind of delicious ineptitude guys like Ed Wood or Roger Corman could produce, which we all still love. Boll's stuff hasn't found any sort of following in contemporary terms, nor will it develop any signficant cult following down the road. That stands in sharp contrast to the unintentional hilarity Stallone has brought to the screen, which I'm sure will stand immortal among our progeny who will appreciate the finer points of bad cinema for generations to come.

And as I find myself promoting the "talents" of Stallone for the second time this week, there must be a really amazing ice skating competition going on down there in hell.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ITbeast Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 11 2008 at 4:24am

As much as I will admit that Uwe is a good likely nominee down the road, we must all remember who has been bringing in the Grade A Sh*t since 1984 (starting with my personal favorite "Rhinestone"). For a quarter of a century, Stallone has turned out the worst Hollywood has to offer and has raised the bar on his own personal brand of movie-making, up to and including Rambo/Rambo IV (or whatever the hell he decided to go with for the title of his ultimate sludge).

Anyways, while Uwe may be the next up and comming Career awardee, Stallone, with his 30 Razzie Noms and 10 "wins," has l-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-n-g-g-g-g been overdue!

So guess who I will be voting for??

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