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Whoah, Dude...They’re Gonna Blow Up WHAT?

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Whoah, Dude...They’re Gonna Blow Up WHAT?
    Posted: August 04 2008 at 3:55am

THE ORIGINAL 1951 DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL STILL RANKS AS ONE of the CLASSIEST SCI-FI MOVIES of ALL TIME.  THIS BIG-BUDGET, OVERBLOWN REMAKE...NOT SO MUCH.

ON FIRST IMPRESSION, YOU MIGHT THINK CASTING "STOIC" (READ "STONE-FACED")  KEANU REEVES as a COLD, EMOTIONLESS ALIEN IS BORDERLINE BRILLIANT. BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER REEVES' RAZZIE TRACK RECORD: HE's an 8-TIME "NON-WINNER," and YOU REALIZE: THAT WHOLE STOIC/STONE-FACED THING ISN'T ACTING, IT's an INABILITY to ACT... 

THEN YOU LOOK at the TRAILER and REALIZE, IN THIS VERSION, THE EARTH DOESN'T STAND STILL -- IT BLOWS UP REAL GOOD. 

AND THEN YOU LOOK at the SUPPORTING CAST and NOTICE THAT, FEATURING FADED FORMER OSCAR DARLINGS, IT LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE a GROUP CONVENED by IRWIN ALLEN in a BURNING BUILDING (OR an UPSIDE DOWN OCEAN-LINER) ALL the BETTER to DIE ONE-by-ONE...

AND AT THAT POINT, IF YOU'RE a TRUE MOVIE-LOVER, YOU SHOULD DECIDE to RENT the 1951 ORIGINAL from NETFLIX, and TELL THIS GOD-AWFUL REMAKE to GET the GORT OUTTA HERE...

BUT DON'T LET US BE the ONLY SPOKESPEOPLE for the HUMAN SPECIES -- TAKE YOUR TURN BELOW...  

REEVES: "No, really, it's okay! You don't have to bend 

over backwards to be bad so I'll look less awful myself..."  


Ye Olde Head RAZZberry
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saturnwatcher View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2008 at 9:52am

It's not bad enough that major studios can't come up with any original ideas; now they have to reach back and trash their own classics. Thank goodness nobody in Hollywood ever bought Secretariat. They'd have turned him into a pony ride.

The original The Day the Earth Stood Still had its flaws, including a somewhat morally ambigious message from the alien visitors (If you don't clean up your violent ways, we are going to wipe you off the planet????) But it was one of the first movies to really ask hard questions about the new moral issues associated with the dawn of the nuclear age. Some things are best left to own their unique place in cinematic history unfettered.

I saw the trailer for this a couple weeks ago when I saw The Dark Knight. At first I had no idea it was the remake. When I found out what it was, I was appalled.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2008 at 11:56am

I have a challenge for Hollywood: I will give my entire life's savings that I have now and (whatever I make for the rest of my life) to any studio that can go an entire year making only original movies. No adaptations, no sequels, no remakes, no rip-offs.

My guess is that my money is more than safe.

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 04 2008 at 2:42pm

The actual quote was, "It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder."  As drawn out and cumbersome as the original movie was, this one single line made the whole movie worth it.  It's a great line.

I can't imagine Keanu Reeves pulling it off.

As for your bet, Michaels, I'm guessing you don't have enough money to make the studios even notice, and it's a sad shame, too.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote thomsonmg2000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2008 at 12:18pm
When I first saw the trailer, I wondered "really? with Keanu Reeves in a remake of a classic?"

Another reason to get worried: the director's, Scott Derrickson, previous works are rather iffy (Hellraiser 5, The Exorcism of Emily Rose)
Seltzerberg is back?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

http://www.disastermovie.org
http://www.vampiressuck.org/
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2008 at 3:11pm

Here is Keanu's version of this film's most important line:  

"Whoa! Dudes, like, no big deal how you, like, run your planet and stuff. But Dudes, if you, like, still make with all the violence and stuff, this Earth of yours is, like, totally going to get all burnt up and stuff...Whoa!"  

As for my bet/offer, remakes like this are proof Hollywood is willing to make money no matter what it takes...and no matter how small of a return they get... 

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 06 2008 at 1:51pm

Thanks...I really wasn't attempting to offer a quotation, just to provide the flavor of the implied threat. It is a bit of a logical eyebrow raiser.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 06 2008 at 5:44pm
Just think, if that happened in real life, you'd probably have been summoned with the rest of the scientists.  Personally, I found the assumption that scientists are somehow bastions of objectivity, devoid of politics, the perfect messengers to recieve Klaatu's message, to be amusing.  Or, to put it another way, I was saying to myself, "We're doomed. . . ."  You tell me. . . .
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Post Options Post Options   Quote saturnwatcher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 07 2008 at 10:35pm

I can testify without qualification that the world's body of scientists are neither bastions of objectivity (we are after all, only human) nor devoid of politics (a field we almost universally find distasteful, but have to spend a great deal of time pandering to for funding reasons).

On the other hand, taken as a whole, it is a body of people far more worthy of receiving a message from aliens than either the world's political, business or religious leaders. The aliens might well have to hold their nose (or equivalent organ) while making the choice, but it won't be a close vote.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken
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Post Options Post Options   Quote cvcjr13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2008 at 2:11am

You do have a valid point, . . .

. . . but we're still doomed. . . .

 

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Movie Man View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Movie Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2008 at 5:05am
Whoa, cool. I might see this one.

Never saw the original, but might take it up to compare how this film stacks.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BrassKnuckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 10 2008 at 6:32pm
I think the only real crime is not casting Bruce Campbell as Klaatu. I mean if you're gonna make something suck, you might as well make it an entertaining, cult-worthy suck.


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Post Options Post Options   Quote movieman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 21 2008 at 11:44am
What about Street Kings? That was pretty bad, I doubt this could be
worse than that one.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Nasty Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 07 2008 at 2:06am

This movie is the perfect example of what Billy Wilder said in one of my all time favroite Hollywood quotes: "Why do they keep re-making the ones we got right, that they can't improve on? Why don't they re-make the ones we screwed up?!?" 

(Okay, I was paraphrasing Wilder there, but you get the idea!)

Everything SUX!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 07 2008 at 4:26am

Originally posted by Nasty Man

This movie is the perfect example of what Billy Wilder said in one of my all time favorite Hollywood quotes: "Why do they keep re-making the ones we got right, that they can't improve on? Why don't they re-make the ones we screwed up?!?"  (Okay, I was paraphrasing Wilder there, but you get the idea!)

Because the real reasoning behind Hollywood remaking classics is to remake the MONEY that the original made. Sure, Hollywood could do the noble thing like remaking Razzie winning movies so they are actually good, but what would the point of that be? Those movies didn't make money in the first place. Nope, Hollywood is not out to be noble, it's out to make big bucks. 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 07 2008 at 4:48am
The anticipation is probably high enough to brush these arguments aside.  This film IS nominated for a few Sattelite Awards by the way.  There are people that would Nominate this for Worst Remake or Sequel, but it has small chances with Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans in the mix.  If there was a category for Worst Remake of a Classic, this would win out.  If there was a category for Worst Science-Fiction Film, it may have to contend with Star Wars: The Clone Wars.  Hopefully, "Mr. IknowKungFu" Keanu Reeves doesn't use that teenage character he had in The Matrix in this film or he would lock up that fifth spot for Worst Actor (and Christensen would get left out).
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