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Whood She Hafta FOX to Get Into THIS Movie??

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Whood She Hafta FOX to Get Into THIS Movie??
    Posted: June 13 2010 at 11:24am
WHEN a MOVIE RILLY SUX, ITs STENCH OFTEN PRECEDES IT INTO the MARKETPLACE...  

SUCH IS the CASE with JONAH HEX, a MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR SCREEN VERSION of an OBSCURE COMIC BOOK THAT HAS BEEN COMPARED (UN-FAVORABLY, YET) with OUR 1986 WORST PICTURE "WINNER" HOWARD THE DUCK... 

STARRING PERENNIAL RAZZIE® TARGET (and CURRENT QUEEN of the BAD-MOUTHERS) MEGAN FOX, WHOSE RIDICULOUS SOUTHERN ACCENT and REVEALING COSTUMES ALL BUT GUARANTEE HER ANOTHER SHOT at WORST ACTRESS, HEX ALSO INCLUDES TWO FUGITIVES from OSCAR® TERRITORY in ITS CAST, FORMER GOONIES TEEN STAR JOSH BROLIN and 2-TIME LITTLE GOLD NAKED MAN® CONTENDER JOHN MALKOVICH. HELMED by a MAN WHOSE PAST CREDITS INCLUDE the FORGETTABLE HORTON HEARS A WHO, HEX LOOKED CURSED from the GIT-GO. 

IF THIS DOESN'T TURN OUT to BE ONE of 2010's BIGGEST MONEY-LOSERS, WE'LL BET $1,000 on MEGAN FOX to RETURN in TRANSFORMERS 4: THE SEARCH FOR MORE MONEY...




FOX: "Wow! This costume reveals almost ALL of my so-called talents..." 

BROLIN: "You know, if I weren't hand-cuffed, I'd flee from this set like 
O.J. in that white Bronco..."   


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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2010 at 4:14pm
Hehehe, "Transformers 4: The Search For More Money"! Actually, I think ALL sequels (and remakes) should have that subtitle, at least then the studios would being honest. As for Megan Fox, she's my least concern about this movie as a whole. It looks a lot like it's "Wild, Wild West 2," and that alone is a big problem.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2010 at 6:25pm
As far as Razzie prospects go, for me this one doesn't stand out among the front-runners (Twilight: Eclipse, Killers, The Spy Next Door, The Bounty Hunter, Furry Vengeance, Vampires Suck are all on my list).  I'll know where I stand on this as soon as the reviews come in at RT and Metacritic.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 13 2010 at 7:44pm
Nah, it stands out pretty clearly, based on the reason listed above. And there's no way it's getting good reviews on RT or Metacritic. 

I trust HeadRazz -- when he posts something here on the Forum, there's reasoning behind it.
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Movie Man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 9:36am
All right, you can have Jonah Hex -- but I draw a line when I read "the forgettable Horton Hears a Who" comment, because I thought that movie was excellent!  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Julianstark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 10:23am
This looks like a disaster. I can totally see this being a camp classic (i.e. "so bad it's good"... kind of like Butterfly or Plan 9 form Outer Space) within the next ten to fifteen years. Will this be a box office bomb? Absolutely. It's opening against Toy Story 3. Granted, this movie wouldn't have made much money even if there was no competition.  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 10:58am
Toy Story 3 and this film have two completely different target audiences. In fact, The Karate Kid has more of a chance of getting a dent from Toy Story 3 than Jonah Hex.  

Originally posted by Julianstark

Will this be a box office bomb? Absolutely. It's opening against Toy Story 3. Granted, this movie wouldn't have made much money even if there was no competition.  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Julianstark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 11:08am
True, but Toy Story 3 has a vast demographic (Disney/Pixar). In addition, it has been quite some time since Toy Story 2, which fuels a pretty good amount of anticipation. On the other hand, Jonah Hex has a much smaller demographic, has been poorly promoted, isn't exactly anticipated, and will bomb with critics. Hex won't be making a lot of money.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 11:13am
So? "Karate Kid" and "A-Team" were different target audiences, and "KK" BLEW "A-Team" away. And "Toy Story 3" is going to do the same to "Hex" and any other movie coming out that weekend. Why? Family film = double or triple the tickets being sold.  

Originally posted by moviewizguy


Toy Story 3 and this film has two completely different target audiences. In fact, The Karate Kid has more of a chance of getting a dent from Toy Story 3 than Jonah Hex
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote JoeBacon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 6:38pm
Trust me, NONE of 'EM even come close to The Human Centipede! Truly the WORST picture of the Century Dead and director Tom Sicks, er, Six makes Uwe Boll look like Stanley Kubrick!!  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote GTAHater767 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 6:59pm
Was The Human Centipede ever released in theatres? If yes, was it limited release, several decades ago, etc (as in "What's the most likely reason I don't know about it?")?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2010 at 8:48pm
I don't usually quote Ebert (that's for MWG's usual excuses), but when he says a movie is so bad that his star rating systerm can't get low enough to rank it, you know you have a bad movie. But Centipede only got a limited release, so I doubt enough voting members will see it. But then again, why would anyone want to see a movie about three people being conjoined at their @$$holes?
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dEd Grimley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 17 2010 at 6:14pm
Y'know, much like Ecks vs. Sever, I kinda guessed that there were enough explosions and gunfights in this movie for at least SOMEONE to like it, but it's got a straight up 00% goose egg goin on at RT at the moment. There's still time, and I feel like there WILL be at least one critic that likes it... I mean, Armond White still has a chance to weigh in, but dang. It looks horrible, and I have no plans to ever see it, but it doesn't look as bad as Disaster Movie.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MiguelAntilsu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 17 2010 at 9:03pm
Correction: 6%.  That's still pretty bad.  The front page says that this is the second-worst movie of the summer.  That may be right, but I don't know how this is gonna fare on the ballot.  Megan Fox will be competing against Jennifer Aniston; Director Jimmy Hayward will be competing against Robert Luketic, Brian Levant and Seltzerberg; and Josh Brolin could be competing against Jackie Chan, Ashton Kutcher and Robert Pattinson.  I would expect none of the folks from Jonah Hex are favored.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moviewizguy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 17 2010 at 9:36pm
Centipede  really isn't as bad as you make it out to be. It has a decent 47% on RT. Just get ready for the sequel. I hear they're going to conjoin 12 people!  

Originally posted by JoeBacon

Trust me, NONE of 'EM even come close to The Human Centipede! Truly the WORST picture of the Century Dead and director Tom Sicks, er, Six makes Uwe Boll look like Stanley Kubrick!!  
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Post Options Post Options   Quote BurnHollywoodBurn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 18 2010 at 5:02am
Wow, Miguel -- we all know you hate all things "Twilight," but you must love the original "Karate Kid" if you think Jackie Chan has a chance of winning just for that movie! No my friend, there are much worse performances to come... 
The Four Horsemen of the Moviepocalypse: uncalled for sequels/remakes/reboots, 3-D surcharges, untalented "celebrities", and anything with Michael Bay's name attached to it.
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