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Yeah, It’s a PAYNE, Allright!

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HeadRAZZBerry View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote HeadRAZZBerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Yeah, It’s a PAYNE, Allright!
    Posted: October 17 2008 at 9:50am

"BASED on a VIDEO GAME" ARE FOUR WORDS THAT ALMOST ALWAZE MEAN, "CLEAR the DECKS - RAZZIE® CONTENDER COMING THRU!"

AND MAX PAYNE (VISUALLY SO DARK THAT the BLIND WILL HAVE AS EASY a TIME SEEING WHAT's ON SCREEN as the SIGHTED) LOOKS LIKE NO EXCEPTION.

FIRST OFF, IT STARS MARK WAHLBERG, ALREADY a WORST ACTOR CONTENDER for THE HAPPENING. ADD IN THAT IT's from the DIRECTOR of TWO RECENT LAME-O REMAKES (THE OMEN and FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX) and THAT IT CO-STARS THREE TIME RAZZIE® NOMINEE CHRIS O'DONNELL (of BATMAN & ROBIN) and WE'D SAY YOU'VE GOT ONE BERRY JUICY PACKAGE.

NOW IT's YOUR TURN to HIT "START" and BEGIN PLAYING HOLLYWOOD's BERRY LEAST FAVORITE GAME -- NAME (and SHAME) THAT RAZZIE®...

WAHLBERG: "I've alrready shot my career in the LEFT foot with THE HAPPENING, now let's see if I can shoot the RIGHT foot with this one!"

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#1-Film Freak!! View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote #1-Film Freak!! Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2008 at 10:12am
The reviews I've been hearing on this (one local radio critic said it was "not bad -- as a comedy!") suggest it certainly does belong on our Forum. But the reviews on "W" seem to imply that it's at least halfway decent... 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2008 at 10:22am
ABOUT TIME!

I think I've exhausted all points as to why the film is bad. I can't believe Mark Wahlberg's doing crap like this. Especially in a film where you have to believe that teeny-weeny Mila Kunis is an assassin. Doesn't anyone remember the heat Tara Reid caught for her role as a scientist in Alone in the Dark?
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Post Options Post Options   Quote sportsartist24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2008 at 3:29pm

Potential Nominees:

Worst Picture

Worst Director: John Moore

Worst Actor: Mark Wahlberg (also for THE HAPPENING)

Worst Supporting Actor: Beau Bridges; Chris O'Donnell

Worst Actress (if so possible): Mila Kunis

Worst Screenplay

Worst Remake or Rip-Off-Rip-Off of Video Game with Same Title, as well as a Remake of Sin City (some critics have said so)

The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.
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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 18 2008 at 6:29am
Ah, justice is served. So far, every local newspaper in my area has written a negative review for this movie. It seems that when it comes to H-Wood adaptations, videos games are always the biggest disasters. I don't understand why, games these days always have some kind of complex storyline that the screenwriters can copy word for word and scene for scene from, but most of the time, they make stuff up that has nothing to do with the game. Heck, even movies based on comic books are getting more respect these days after "IronMan" and "Dark Knight". 
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Post Options Post Options   Quote sportsartist24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 18 2008 at 10:46am
Update from Box Office Mojo: After Friday's results, MAX PAYNE beat off W for the #1 spot in the U.S. Box Office, finishing with $7.1 Million while W finished with $3.8 million.
The Mormons were'nt really popular in the beginning, they're now becoming more popular, even in Hollywood.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote RoadDogXVIII Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2008 at 3:54am
Originally posted by Michaels

Ah, justice is served. So far, every local newspaper in my area has written a negative review for this movie. It seems that when it comes to H-Wood adaptations, videos games are always the biggest disasters. I don't understand why, games these days always have some kind of complex storyline that the screenwriters can copy word for word and scene for scene from, but most of the time, they make stuff up that has nothing to do with the game. Heck, even movies based on comic books are getting more respect these days after "IronMan" and "Dark Knight". 


The ironic thing is that video games do have a chance to be made into good movies. That's why Microsoft talked Peter Jackson into executive producing their adaptation of Halo.

Other than that, Hollywood seems to be scraping at the bottom of the barrel for either lousy directors (I think you-know-who is a prime contender) or unknown directors (Xander Gems) to helm these future bombs. Max Payne would've been left to someone who had his pimp hand on the source material and could make it R-rated (my money's on Frank Miller, considering Max Payne's noir roots), not the director of Flight of the Phoenix and The Omen. And, as I stressed a million times, the casting is almost on the level of Alone in the Dark. Almost, because I didn't hear alot about one actress's performance, beside it being bland. So, maybe she's out in the clear?

Probably one other project that had the potential to be good, but then entered hell, is Metal Gear Solid. That's directed from Kurt Wimmer, who did good in Equilibrium (hint: Christian Bale!), then went to hell with Ultraviolet.

I am looking forward to Prince of Persia, however. Mike Newell did a successful Harry Potter film, so that bears a chance of survival.
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moat View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2008 at 10:49am
Were there winged demons (or angels, whatever) in the video game? I didn't think it was a fantasy franchise.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 19 2008 at 12:54pm

Originally posted by moat

Were there winged demons (or angels, whatever) in the video game? I didn't think it was a fantasy franchise.

No, they are not. Max Payne was a straight forward action game. In the movie, the winged demons are the result of a drug that Max Payne is on or something dumb like that. Another thing wrong with video game movies is that they are always made by hack directors, which goes to show that studios don't have much faith in the movies from the very beginning. Meanwhile, studios go out of their way to get A-list directors and actors to direct and star in major comic book movies. Based on the track record of video games movies, I have little or not interest with Prince of Persia. Perhaps a Peter Jackson directed Halo movie will be the only saving grace in the history of gaming movies.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moorlock2003 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2008 at 3:08am

I think Marky Mark is most deserving of the coveted "Razzie" this year. He's so full of himself that it would be great to give him the award he so richly deserves.

Back in the good old days of Hollywood, a name like "Wahlberg" would have been changed. Marky Mark is dumb -- but it's better than Wahlberg (which sounds like something found in the cheese section at my local deli). 

RESPONSE from Head RAZZberry: Actually, Wahlberg (which is likely not a made-up name) seems less dumb to me than "Marky Mark" (which sounds like some kind of Magic Marker product)...   

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moorlock2003 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2008 at 12:21pm

My point was that Wahlberg is hardly a glamourous-sounding name. In the old days of Hollywood, it would have been changed. Most movie stars of old had made-up names, and it was a good thing. Can you imagine if Cary Grant had used his real name.......Archibald Leach?

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Michaels View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 20 2008 at 11:35pm

And how about Zack Efron? Sounds like either the name of a million dollar company that takes your investments (and runs away with them) or some pill you take for a heart condition. 

 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote moorlock2003 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2008 at 2:43am
Let's not leave out Ashton Kutcher, which sounds like a smoking receptacle.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote moorlock2003 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2008 at 8:14am

This is getting fun!

Not that she's a "movie star," but I can't help but refer to that Madonna wannabe as "Broccoli Spears." 

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Post Options Post Options   Quote SchumacherH8ter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2008 at 11:00am
I saw this. It was "ok". It didn't do anything new or really interesting, but it didn't do anything wrong. There were some decent action sequences and if you compare it to other video-game movies, it's "Citizen f&*ckin' Kane"!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Michaels Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 21 2008 at 12:24pm

Originally posted by SchumacherH8ter

I saw this. It was "ok". It didn't do anything new or really interesting, but it didn't do anything wrong. There were some decent action sequences and if you compare it to other video-game movies, it's "Citizen f&*ckin' Kane"!

And here I thought the first "Mortal Kombat" movie was the "Citizen Kane" of video game movies. A guilty pleasure for sure, but it is the ONLY video game movie that ... gasp! ... actually follows the plot of the video game it was based on! And then they ruined it with a sequel that is not worth the keystrokes to type about.

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